eating disorder trigger

*jazzy pov*

two weeks after ant and i started dating we had a costume fitting for our previews at the public theatre. i was excited to really get into character and the time period of the show.

my dresser was adjusting the corset; trying to pull it tighter. my ex was right. i needed to lose more weight. since i had known about the fitting for about a week and a half i stopped eating. at the theatre i pretended to eat or ate a little bit of food as to not look suspicious, but for the most part i had nothing.

i couldn't stop staring at my faults in the mirror. arm fat, round neck, plump cheeks. i knew how big my thighs were even though i couldn't see them. the corset could barely be pulled tight over my pudgy stomach.

i hated every part of myself.

i asked my dresser if she could leave for a minute. she kindly left the room- leaving me alone.

i released the waterworks.

i heard a soft knock on the door and it sent me into a panicked state. "can i please come in? it's just me i promise," jon's voice came through the door.

i didn't answer so he just came in and shut the door. "oh my god! honey what's the matter?" he asked me and we both slid down into the floor using the wall.

"it's not important," i insisted.

he shook his head. "if it makes you cry then it's important."

"i just don't think i should do the show. i mean, i look awful in this dress. my dresser can't even tighten the corset enough." my stomach decided it was the perfect time to rumble- very loudly.

"jasmine," groff asked gently. "when was the last time you ate?"

"breakfast," i lied easily.

"the truth?"

"about 3 1/2 days ago, but it's okay!  i've gone longer."

he gave me one of the best hugs i've ever gotten which made me cry harder.

"trust me when i say that you are one of the most beautiful women i've met. i don't know what made you try and change yourself, but it's wrong. you are perfect. i'm going to go get the boyfriend and send him in here with some food for you. change out of your costume in the meantime. okay?" jon said.

i nodded. he left and my dresser came in. she had me take off the dress and put on my street clothes. i was sitting there feeling numb when anthony came in with a large box of goldfish.

"groffsauce told me to come in here with food. what happened?" anthony asked sounding concerned.

"i kind of had a breakdown about my costume. i'm just so big! i shouldn't even eat these goldfish because i can still wait another day or so before eating again. my ex was right when he commented on my weight." i started crying again, but this time into my boyfriend's arms.

"jasmine!" anthony exclaimed. "you are perfect the way you are. i wish i could remove every memory of your ex from your mind, but i can't. so my goal as your boyfriend is to paint over all of the bad stuff. you look like you've lost quite a bit of weight recently! you were so light already. come lay with me on the couch in my dressing room and eat some goldfish. please? for me?"

i nodded knowing that fighting him wouldn't do me any good. as i followed him into his room i ran into my dresser who said, "by the way dear, i kept tightening your corset because you don't have any meat on those bones and it was falling off. go eat some goldfish with anthony."

when we got to the room ant gave me a look that showed pity and a bit of 'i told you so.'

and with that i snuggled into my boyfriend's chest- how i love that word. "when are we going to the the cast about us?" i asked.

he smiled and said, "as soon as you finish the goldfish."

i ate the rest of the box in about 20 minutes because i was really hungry. "i'm done."

"let's go tell call everyone to the stage."

"how are we gonna do that?"

he smirked at me before running into the hallway and yelling, "EVERYBODY TO THE STAGE IT'S IMPORTANT!"

he took my hand and dragged me to the stage. we watched everyone come in and sit down. once everyone was there ant started talking, "before i start can we all just take in jazzy's beauty for a minute?"

groff wolf-whistled while the rest of the cast just clapped.

"okay so what i called you guys here for is to say that-" ant started before looking at me.

we exchanged a silent 1, 2, 3 before we yelled, "WE'RE DATING!"

it was silent for a moment. that was broken when lin yelled, yet again, "IN THE WORDS OF THE KIDS MY SHIP HAS SAILED!"

everyone started cheering and congratulating us. although i did hear pippa say, "renee you owe me $5!" before i knew it everyone was handing around money because apparently everybody had bet someone on if we were dating and when we would announce it.

i looked at my boyfriend and smiled because life was turning around for me and i couldn't wait to see what would come next.

a/n:

for the record: this chapter was in no way intended to insult jasmine. i just wanted to show how her ex still haunts her. 

what cast members do you want to see more of? what do you want them to do? what should  happen next? any date ideas? please comment!

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