Travelling from London to my family's home in Surrey was daunting but Sophie and I have found a way to make the drive more enjoyable- put Sera and Léa in a car with the guys while us girls go in a separate car, childless for the hour that the trip was going to take. In our defence, both my sister and I had made sure that our little cherubs were well fed, burped, and had enough distractions so that the men wouldn't need to do much except make sure that the babies got there in one piece, preferably alive.  

Isaac hadn't grumbled when I announced our plan; I think on some level he was happier not having to be in the same car as Martha and me, but Daniel hadn't taken the news well. He was fuming, Sophie had said, especially because Léa had another ear infection and was irritable. I bit down on my tongue before I could say, With you two as parents, did you expect anything less? While the comment would be true, I think Sophie and Daniel would kill me for pointing that out to them. 

Nevertheless, Daniel's grumbling hadn't changed the order of the day and as I packed the boot of my car, making sure that Roo was with Sera, I watched as the men jumped inside. Isaac was driving, Daniel in the passenger seat while Adam was squashed between the two baby seats. I dread to think how Adam had upset the other and drawn the short straw but I wasn't about to start asking questions. Closing the boot, I walk around to the driver's side and tap on the window. 

"What's up, buttercup?" Isaac beams at me. He was weirdly excited about going to Mum and Dad's for Christmas but then again, it's his first time. Next year, he'll look at mournful as Daniel and Adam. 

"Drive safe and if Sera starts crying and Adam can't deal with it, pull over and give her a huge hug, alright?" I instruct him. My words were met with a blank stare followed by a roll of the eyes. He was right, of course- I was being overly dramatic. Isaac didn't say that out loud but his face said it all. "We're just waiting for Martha to get her arse in gear and then we'll be on the road, too. Tell Mum that we didn't forget the champagne, either."

Isaac laughs. "Mhm, and what time are you picking that case up, again?" Reaching through the window, I playfully punch his shoulder. Grabbing my hand, he tugs me closer and leans out the window slightly to plant a kiss on my lips. "I love you. See you there in about an hour. If you have to kill Sophie on the way, I have no objections to that. Daniel, do you object?"

"Nope," my brother-in-law answers. "I'll defend you in the courts, Charlotte, should the CPS decide to bring charges, although, they should see that you've done the public a service and drop the allegations."

Isaac gave me a surprised grin and once again told me he loved me before starting the car and moving from the street and into the heavy flow of London traffic. From behind me, I heard both my sisters yell into the house for Martha to hurry up, grumbling about how the teenager doesn't understand the traditions associated with Christmas in our family. Sophie and Emma both loved this time of year and they wanted to uphold all those idiosyncracies that made the festive period their happiest memories. I wasn't so fussed on it all but this year, I wanted to make an effort for Sera's sake. I have packed my Ebenezer Grinch t-shirt away for this year, replacing it with an evening dress for Le Réveillon and making sure that I had a church friendly outfit for midnight mass. The holiday season is a marathon, not a sprint. 

"I'm here, I'm ready, let's go," Martha announced as she threw the dress bag on top of all the luggage in the boot of Sophie's car. Slamming the tailgate shut, Martha gets in the car and says, "Hustle people. You were the ones that wanted to leave."

Without further delay, we all bundled into Sophie's Chelsea tractor and started to make our way out to Surrey. We generally chit-chatted for most of the journey until we had to stop off at a wine merchant to pick up the three bottles of Piper-Heidsieck Rare Rosé and five bottles of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque Rosé that Lucas ordered. Sophie was supposed to have ordered it but she forgot and it fell on Lucas to save the day. Unfortunately, he's been at Mum and Dad's since Thursday night and it had fallen on us to pick it up. It was a dangerous ask, really, because just as soon as we pulled up outside, Sophie was rushing inside. Five minutes later, she not only returned with the order Lucas had made but with a few bottles of Armand de Brignac Brut Gold, as well. 

"Well then," Emma laughed from the back seat. "Someone plans on getting royally fucking shitfaced this week."

I heard Martha gasp and as I looked over my shoulder to where she sat behind the driver's seat, her mouth was gaping open and eyes blinking as she watched my younger sister. Even though Martha is technically an adult in the eyes of the law, she was still too young to experience a Christmas with my family. Tonight and tomorrow will make the Fletcher gettogether in Scotland back in June look like a children's afternoon tea party in comparison. 

"Why does Martha's face look like that?" Sophie asked when she finally got back into the car and started to pull back out into the traffic. Someone behind her beeped their horn and received a middle finger gesture in return from Sophie. "Twats."

I scoffed. "Typical. In answer to your question, though, Martha's face is like that because she's finally seen the real Emma D'Souza."

"Oh, is that all?" Sophie sounded disappointed. Looking up at her rearview mirror, she beamed at Martha. "You have so much to learn about us, kiddo. If you think I'm bad, Emma is way worse. It's like she learnt from the best and then went to improve upon it, tenfold. I swear, I don't mind getting kinky in the bedroom, and I say more inappropriate stuff than appropriate stuff, but that one-" Sophie nods her head in Emma's direction. "-She's worse."

When Martha gave us a sceptical look, Emma took it as a challenge to prove her credentials. Leaning forward conspiratorially, she thought this was the best moment to drop a bombshell. "I fucked Hugo Rousseau," Emma proudly said. Martha choked on her own saliva and spluttered for ten seconds straight. "Alright there, hun?"

"Don't change the subject!" Sophie yelled, reaching back and slapping our sister's knee. She pushed her indicator on and pulled up at the side of a relatively quiet road, putting the car in park and then shifted in her seat so she was angled to face Emma. "How was it? Was it good? Was he good? I bet he was fucking amazing. I've seen his body, I've seen his penis, I'm almost a hundred percent certain he would be good in bed. Or anywhere, really."

Groaning, I hide my face behind my hands and cringe. Sophie and I are the only ones that know about Emma and Adam's unique arrangements- we found out by accident- and while I don't pretend to understand and condone it, it was their relationship and I wasn't about to tell them how to live their lives. What did bother me, though, was that it was being openly discussed in front of Martha who was far too innocent to be hearing this. 

"You cheated on your husband and you're ok with this?" Martha asked, looking firstly at Emma and then at Sophie. She shook her head in confusion and then looked at me to clarify what was going on. "Am I sleeping and only dreaming this?"

I shook my head. "Unfortunately, no, you're not dreaming this." With a heavy sigh, I undo my seatbelt and shift in my seat so that my back is towards the dash and I can see the others in the car. "Emma and Adam have an open relationship, for whatever reasons. They can sleep with other people-"

"As long as it's only sex and there are no emotions involved," Emma clarified as she butted in. "If there are emotions, that' polyamory, not an open relationship, something that Miss Prim and Proper over there can't seem to grasp. She just thinks I cheat on Adam."

I ignore the way Emma motions her head at me. I then have to sit there and listen to her as she lectures us all on her relationship, stating that it's not cheating if everyone is aware of it and consents to the decisions made. Emma was very open with Adam about the people she has sex with, even going so far as to announce her intentions before she screws another person. I had to wonder if Adam knew about Hugo, though, because I'm sure that, according to their rules, Hugo was off-limits. 

Emma then rambles on about how in love with Adam she is- which is good since they're married- and then explains how a person's emotional and sexual needs can't be met by one person and one person alone. I had to roll my eyes at that one. Then she rolls out my most hated phrase in the world, non-monogamous relationship. I switch off, only to tune back in when Martha starts asking more questions. 

"So, Adam's ok with you sleeping with Hugo?" 

Emma suddenly loses all confidence in her open relationship talk and purses her lips. "Well, no, actually, he doesn't know about that one. I broke a rule."

"By your reckoning then, could that be classed as cheating?" Martha challenges. "Open relationships are based on honesty and communicating your desires, needs and choices, but if you're keeping it from Adam, that would mean you're not being truthful."

"Look, I don't expect you to understand because you're a child but-"

Martha scoffed. "I'm a child? You can't even tell your husband that you screwed your sister's best friend who apparently, only last year, tried to hit on your other sister. Is this bloke a Hemsworth brother or is his dick a Fab lollipop and everyone wants a lick of it? Those are the only two scenarios where I would find it plausible that he's irresistible to womankind."

Silence hung in the air after Martha's outburst. No one spoke, moved, and I'm pretty sure none of us breathed, either. Emma was the first to react by sharply turning to look at Sophie, who in turn moved her gaze to me. In response to her silent question, I shrugged my shoulder. Finally, Sophie laughed and Emma giggled, relieving the tension that was threatening to suffocate us all. 

"Shit, I think I've been outsmarted," Emma declared, reaching over the back seat and pulling Martha into an embrace. "You may not be a Clément-Delaney by blood or name but by attitude, you're one of the best of us. In answer to your question, though, Hugo is not a Hemsworth and his dick is not a Fab lollipop."

Sophie snorted. "But you're still ignoring my question. How was it?"

"It was ok," Emma replied. Knowing her the best, I could sense she was holding back on her answer. "Adam's better."

"Interesting," Sophie commented. She turned back in her seat and put the car in gear, waiting patiently for me to buckle up again. When the seatbelt light turned off, Sophie began to make her way on the road again. "Martha, have you ever seen Fight Club, the film?"

Martha shook her head. "No."

"The first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about fight club," my sister cryptically informs us. "What happens in this car, what is said in this car, stays in this car. Got it?"

"Yeah, whatever," Martha replies. "Like I want to repeat this to anyone else, anyway. Now, remind me again what Christmas is like with your folks and why I needed to pack an evening gown."

Thank you to all that read Paris After Dark. Sorry if it has scarred you for life. I know a lot of you didn't like the way it went, in terms of Emma and Adam's relationship so I hope this update goes some way in helping you understand it. If not, there's always tomorrow's update!

Yes, you read that right- BONUS UPDATE this week!

So, I'll see you tomorrow night for that.