gunsvsroses

I was walking down the hallway with my friend after lunch. We were talking and laughing, just overall being happy. I made a joke about my childhood trauma as a way to make them laugh and also just to cope. They stopped walking and the smile faded off their face. "M/N, are you okay? Like, genuinely?". I could see the look of concern in their eyes. I stopped walking as well and looked back. "Uhm-". I couldn't even say a word. I felt stuck. Nobody ever really asked me that. I turned my whole body to face them. I looked at the ground in shame. "What do I even say? They have a perfect life with no family trouble." I thought. I managed to spit out "I'm fine! Happiest person on Earth!" and made an obviously fake smile and turned quickly. My friend seemed even more concerned, but followed me. After we reached our splitting ways to go to our next classes, they said "Hey, just know I'm here for you." and sprinted to class. Looking back at their expression, I could see more than concern. I could see disgust. Was there something wrong with me? Was I not normal- well obviously not- but was I more than just weird? Was I too different? Am I too much? I'm just gonna stay silent more. I learned that it's better to suffer in silence. I don't want others caring for me and my problems.…