[A/N: I do not watch American Horror Story. Any coinciding plot points with AHS's "Asylum" season is mere coincidence]

SCREAM

Calum

After the first time he tried to kill himself, they kept constant watch on him. They kept him in an isolated hall, alone with his memories

Except he wasn't really trying to kill himself.

Just the memories.

His nose itched. The stupid handcuffs wouldn't let him scratch it.

He'd made the noose out of his prison clothes. A startling ring of orange.

Calum's hands were shaking worse than ever. He needed the drugs.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU IGNORANT MORON.

Calum cringed against the voice that rang out in his head. His dad, yelling at his mom.

The memory was 13 years old.

His mother's grave was, too.

He whimpered quietly to himself. The drugs got rid of that stuff. He forgot about everything.

DO IT, CALUM. JUST FUCKING DO IT! PULL THE DAMN TRIGGER!

He flinched at nothing.

The guard eyed him through the bars warily. "Nutter," he muttered.

No, Calum thought. Just fucked up.

His hands shook so hard that the handcuffs rattled against each other.

The guard hefted his nightstick. "Cut it out."

Calum grit his teeth. "I can't."

"What the hell do you mean, you can't?"

Calum glared at him. "Withdrawals. Ever heard of them?" he snapped

"You've been doped up for way too long," the guard muttered, shaking his head. "This is better for you."

"No, it's fucking not!" Calum screamed, and the guard jumped. "I'd take feeling nothing and feeling empty to having these fucking demons wrestling around inside of my head. I don't want to remember! Damn it, don't make me! Don't make me!"

"Not making you do anything," the guard said, taking a step away, eyes wide. He grabbed his walkie talkie. "He's getting bad again," he murmured.

Calum was beyond reason, thrashing in his cell, ramming against the bars, screaming, "Don't make me do it! I don't want her to die!"

"What the fuck?" the guard muttered.

Calum suddenly went still, pressing against the bars. He stared at the guard. "I didn't want to pull the trigger. I didn't know it was real. He made me do it. She died. I didn't want her to."

"You're fucking insane."

Calum slumped to the floor just as the doors opened.

"I know."