I sat staring at the door with the notebook in my lap. I was having a really hard time digesting what I'd just studied. Was I really not alone in this struggle? Could Jesus have a far better understand of my.... problem  than I had? Of all the things I thought I knew about God? Things I wasn't sure I wanted to know now? How could this be? 

The door cracked open and Jesus sloughed in, kicking snow off His boots before He turned around and pushed the door closed. He let out a sigh and looked at me. I wasn't sure what to say, if I should apologize, tell Him: 'I get it...finally.'; or tell Him that I really didn't like what I'd learned? Did I now have less respect for Him just because He was more human than I  wanted to believe? Who am I to judge what God decides? I kept telling myself. Let God be God. I sighed as I just sat staring at Him, He looked so very vulnerable to me now.

"Here." He smiled as He walked up and handed me something. "We go here." 

I took it from Him and looked at it.

"A shopping mall? You want to go to a shopping mall?" I asked, not having the foggiest idea why? Jesus didn't seem like the shopping mall kind of guy to me. "Well OK." I raised one eyebrow. " It's not that  far and traffic report says the roads are pretty much clear now." I sighed. "I... gotta talk to You though." I mumbled.

"Yes, I know." He replied. "This why we go here."

Not sure why the shopping mall had anything to do with what I needed to talk about; but I got up and got my coat on anyways. We gathered up the items we needed and traipsed back out into the parking lot. I got in the car and started the engine to let it warm up a bit, as Jesus walked around the outside wiping snow off with His arm. I pulled out a snow brush and followed Him for 'fine tuning'. Once the car was adequately dusted, we climbed back in and I fiddled with the temperature controls until the heat was adjusted comfortably. I sat for a moment before stepping on the clutch and putting the car in reverse.

"I'm sorry." I finally confessed as we pulled out of the parking lot and began heading toward the freeway.

"Sorry for....; being alive?" Jesus asked. "Life do these things." He laughed. "This a part of... fabric of life."

"I think I get that now." I sighed after a long pause.

"God is living; so things living obey God." Jesus answered. "This is why more living things they make. Now, you obey by means that God directs, or disobey by abominable acts? Acts that be abominations do not follow this command. They be abomination because they not follow this command."

I looked at Jesus a minute for as odd as His English was; what He was saying actually made sense to me.

"Be fruitful and multiply is awfully frustrating when you can't." I grumbled.

"Can't does not stop want." Jesus laughed. "No matter if this command is... inconvenient; is what life wants."

"I guess that's why they call it a drive." I commented.

"Drive that way." Jesus pointed offhandedly as He was fiddling with the GPS. He now had the thing upside down. It's not a compass. I thought to myself as I just glanced at Him and snickered.

"I guess I just never figured that included You too." I sighed as I turned down the road the GPS had announced.

Jesus started to laugh. "How can Creator exclude own self? Would that be living Creator?" He asked. Now moving the GPS around to see if the picture moved too.

"I guess it wouldn't." I answered.

"Beside this; God obey His own word." Jesus confirmed as He plugged the GPS back in, on account of His hapless playing disconnected the power cord. "This what make me want to... too." He honestly confessed.

I only sat momentarily peering at Him out of the corner of my eye, for that last comment, before turning my attention back to the road.

"How it know were we go?" Jesus asked; inadvertently changing the subject as He appeared to be trying to look inside the GPS.

"Huh?" I glanced over at Him. "Oh, it gets a signal from a satellite." I giggled. "That's how it knows where we are. Then it orients direction based on the maps that are programmed into the computer system; related to the signal bouncing off the satellite."

"What?" Jesus said as He shook the GPS. "Oh, I break it?"

"No, it just lost the satellite signal for a minute." I laughed as I took it away from Him. "But if You keep doing that, You will break it." I set it on the dashboard as we were sitting at a light, about to turn into the mall. I just turned and looked at Him. How do You know so much that I don't and not know so much at the same time? I marveled.

I parked the car and we headed inside the nearest anchor store; as we were right next to Neiman Marcus. Halfway through the men's department; I paused to ask one of the clerks where the restroom was. As she pointed me up stairs; I noticed Jesus had become distracted by a pile of sweaters sitting on a display. I walked over to Him and He just sort of carelessly handed me a sweater; (as I'm not sure if He actually wanted it or not) and wandered over to another display.

"Well, that is  a nice soft wool" I mumbled to myself as I examined the subtle cabling on the sleeves. Nice design too; You got good taste in clothes. I thought to myself as I searched for the tag. $1200. I nearly dropped the sweater on the floor.

Oh yeah, this is Neiman Marcus! I suddenly remembered as I looked around for guess Who. I really don't like to say 'no' to God, but I think I better get You out of here! I grimaced as I tried to fold the sweater up as neatly as possible and hurried over to retrieve Jesus, who'd now gotten Himself into another pile of Paris runway designer sweaters. Put those back! I tried not to panic as a sales person had honed in on Him too. I better beat her there. I thought as I scurried over, when suddenly Jesus turned around with the..... flippin scariest article of clothing I think I've ever seen in my life; which is about 4 sizes too big for Him, to boot.

"Jesus....Christ" I mumbled as I could only glare. "What, You going to an ugly sweater Christmas party?" I started to giggle.

The clerk was giving me a leery glare.

"No, actually that is Jesus Christ." I tried to explain, as apparently she thought I was cursing at Him. "You wanna see?" I asked as I grabbed His arm and pulled one glove off.

She only shook her head, waving her hands in the air and quickly walked away from us.

"Well... that went over well." I mumbled before I turned to Jesus. "How much is that thing anyways?" I asked, just for curiosity sake.

Jesus looked for the tag. "$3400." He answered.

"WHAT?" I squeaked as I rustled this hideous epitome of Christmas cheer out of His hands. "That can't be right?" I muttered as I looked at the tag. Sure enough, that's what it said.

Jesus only stood there, looking hapless and a bit confused, as apparently He had no idea what things cost in the 20th century.

"Ehh..." I glanced at Him a minute. "Between the two of us; the total cost of all  the clothing we're wearing is probably about $200." I whispered as I pointed to the price tag. "Three thousand, four hundred: We... two hundred." I nodded and Jesus started nodding too.

"Neiman Mark Up." He suddenly quipped.

I only looked at Him in a moment of awe. "You're smarter than humanity will ever give You credit for; You know that?"

Jesus only glanced at me before His attention turned back toward the sweater. He held it up in front of Him and started to giggle.

"What?" I inquired.

"Forty year in wilderness, and they garment never wear out." He started to laugh.

"Now, that would have been cruel!" I smirked, before posing the following inquiry. "Who's the maker?" I gestured.

Jesus glanced over with a puzzled look. "I Am." He declared; as if I should have already known that.

"That wasn't a theological question." I started to laugh. "I meant the sweater."

"Oh." Jesus giggled a bit. "Who is admit to making .... ehhh?" He commented as He searched for a tag. "....Gushy?"

"Gushy?" I leaned over to see what He's looking at. "That's Gucci." I laughed.

"Same same." He responded in confirmation. "And God see all that He  make and behold is not gushy."

At that point I struggled to contain myself, as I grabbed Jesus's arm and nearly ran to the other corner of the store.

"What?" He protested.

"20th century toilet house. You're in for another culture shock." I mumbled as I nudged Him toward the mens' room. "Neiman Mark Up have Charmin." I told Him as I scurried off into the other restroom.

Once we finally managed to navigate our way out of Neiman Marcus; I come to find that this mall was quite large and Jesus apparently had been suffering from culture shock from the moment we walked in the door. He was looking around, endlessly meandering as we turned down a long corridor.

"Todo, I don't think we are in Kansas any more." I started to laugh.

Jesus stopped and looked at me a minute. "What is Todo?" He asked.

"Oh, never mind." I waved His question away. "It's not important. But it does look like it's my turn to keep You from getting lost." I chuckled as I grabbed His hand, suddenly struck by the silliness of the paradox of God getting lost.

We kept walking until we nearly passed the food court, in which Jesus veered off and headed toward the carrousel; dragging me along. "Where are You going?" I muttered, now a bit annoyed. Jesus stopped in the middle of the food court and surveyed the scene; until He spotted a little corner convenience store. 

"There." He pointed.

We walked in and He searched around a minute or two more; before He walked up to a vending machine. He stood inspecting it a bit, before He held His hand out and wiggled His fingers.

"You want to buy a lottery ticket?" I looked at Him with one raised eyebrow.

"Dollar and dream." He responded in deadpan seriousness.

"OK?" I chuckled with a shrug as I pulled some money out of my wallet. "How much You want?" I asked. Jesus pointed. I gave Him a $5. "You know the fundamental Baptists would really love You for this." I mumbled in side comment. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to me though; as He inserted the bill into the machine and hit the button. The ticket fluttered down to the bottom and Jesus reached in to retrieve it; then handed it to me. I just looked at Him a minute as He rose to His feet. He stood looking at me like; what's the problem?

"Ehh... How much did I win?" I finally inquired; figuring there was some legitimate reason He dragged me in here.

We wandered back into the food court and sat down. Now curiosity was eating my brain, so I pulled out my car key and scratched the ticket. I looked at it a moment. We just won $3000. I looked up at Jesus. "My Father own it; I pay for us." He shrugged.

"Yeah." I mumbled still in disbelief as I looked at the ticket again, just to make sure I read it right. "The cattle on a thousand hills and Colorado state's lottery system." I then peered over at Jesus. "You don't want to go to Vegas next; do Ya?" I started to laugh. He shook His head. "No, I didn't think so either."

We sat another couple of minutes as I couldn't decide if I should put this ticket in my purse or give it to Jesus for my own fears of losing the dumb thing. I looked at Him and pointed to the ticket. He waved me away. OK I shrugged as I tucked it into my purse and nervously walked back to the store to cash it in.

"So what's next?" I asked upon return, as Jesus began looking at one of these square announcement cards that listed the mall events.

"We go here." He smiled as He pointed to a picture of a kid repelling.

"You wanna go climb a rock wall?" I flashed Him a peculiar look.

Jesus only nodded with a big grin.

"Ehh - Why?" I hesitantly inquired.

"Because is there!" He quipped.

"OK?" I only shrugged.