SEUNGCHEOL'S POV

I was spacing out the whole ride. Yeoreum keeps on blabbering about something but I didn't bother to listen.

Why does he has to be there, watching me clean? Fuck it. My heart skipped a beat as I noticed him watching me as he talk with Seungkwan. I felt a sudden hope within me, though I'm really sure that he's already committed to someone.

"Hey, Cheol, are you even listening?" I felt Yeoreum's tap on my shoulder. I heard her sigh as she gives up getting my attention, instead she just blabbered her thoughts out even though she knows that I'm not interested or even listening.

She keeps on talking nonstop. The whole ride was filled with her, talking. But, my ears doesn't seem to hear her and I just kept on thinking about Jeonghan.

Did I just pulled a pick up line on him earlier?

Then a sudden flashback came in.

"Who are you?" That was a statement, not a question. "You're just the guy that I love the most."

I almost slap myself for being such an idiot. I shouldn't have said that. But, it just came out naturally without any hesitation. I can admit that I want to smile so hard when I saw him blush, but I can't just assume anything.

"I met Jeonghan's.." My head immediately turned to Yeoreum and I also stopped the car.

"Jeonghan? What about Jeonghan?" I quickly asked without me knowing. Yeoreum scoffed at me.

"I can't believe you. I've been blabbering things around here, and you just heard his name, you immediately turned your head on me?" She scoffed once again. "Well, yeah. I met Jeonghan's girlfriend earlier. Happy?" She faked a smile on me.

So, Sowon's here? I didn't see her earlier. Or maybe she's already here but it just happened that I didn't get to notice her because of my fight with Hwiyoung.

"Start the engine now, Cheol." Yeoreum ordered and I followed just to not cause any fight with her anymore. I know what she's thinking.

We reached the Mansion and I hopped out of the car without saying a word. I rushed to my room and threw myself there.

Sowon's back.

Jeonghan's girlfriend is back..

I guess I should start distancing myself from now on. The fact that she's finally back, there's no way that Jeonghan will let her go, and do she is. They're the real couple after all.

I stared the door of my room.

Should I give Yeoreum a chance?

-

JEONGHAN'S POV

I went home with a heavy shoulder. I'm feeling so frustrated with myself. When I saw how Yeoreum embraced him in a hug when he reached the parking lot hurts me.

Fuck this, Seungcheol.

Flashback

When Seungcheol walked away from me, I sat down on the floor without knowing what to do.

Not until when my body automatically stood up and ran after him. I chased him. I feel like, I owe him an explanation. An explanation he truly deserves.

I reached the Parking Lot and roamed my eyes around. I'm all sweaty and I'm also panting but I don't care. I need to see him and I need to talk to him.

I saw his back facing me and he's walking so slow. But I eventually stopped when I saw Yeoreum, leaning on his car, probably waiting for him. When Yeoreum saw how sweaty he is and how tired he is, she didn't think twice to wipe off all his sweats using her handkerchief.

Few minutes after, he hugged her. I felt a sudden pain in my chest. I feel like someone just shot me with multiple bullets at once. Seeing him, to see him spontaneously hugged her without second thoughts killed me.

They released the hug and I saw how Yeoreum smiled at him after saying a few words. Seungcheol's back is facing me so I can't really see his face. He immediately went where the Driver's seat is and hopped in, and do so Yeoreum at the front seat, where I usually sit...

Seungkwan-ah, I'm afraid to admit you're probably right.

End Of Flashback

I threw myself on the bed and it's just 5:00 PM. I put myself together. I don't know what to do anymore.

Suddenly, a message popped up on my screen. A message from Sowon.

From : My Wish 💖
Let's go grab some lunch together! Let's meet at our favorite restaurant. I love you.

Reading her 'I love you' hits me. Sowon is your girlfriend, Jeonghan. You didn't come all the way in Pledis University for nothing. You came in Pledis University for you, and for Sowon. For both of your future.

To : My Wish 💖
Sure. I'll meet you there at 6pm. See ya!

I immediately grab some clothes and took a quick shower. As the water flows down my body, I keep on thinking Seungcheol. The way he hugged Yeoreum.

What's wrong with you, Jeonghan, really?

I continued showering trying to put all my thoughts away.

I went out of the bathroom and quickly dressed. I combed my hair neatly since it's quite long. I don't have any plans on cutting it yet, but I guess I look so good in long hair, don't fight with me.

I went out of my Unit and walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus to arrive. As I wait for it to arrive, a BTS song suddenly played.

Who really got the best of me?

Niga piryeohae.. (I need you)

Seungcheol was the first one in my mind when I heard Jimin's line. The bus arrived and I took the seat in front. As I sit, I kept on spacing out, glad that I didn't missed my stop.

I stepped out of the bus and I saw the restaurant, just a few walks more. I walked to the restaurant, and when I went in, I immediately saw Sowon, waving her hand at me.

I walked up to her and put a small smile on my face. I sat down in front of her, "Waiter," she called the waiter out.

"I'd like to have a steak please," I heard her say. I rested my chin on my palm and looked outside through the window. It's sunset now.

I suddenly remembered the last time I was here. I met Seungcheol and his friends and Sowon didn't shown up, and I saw her with Eunwoo that time. Seungcheol brought me to the theme park to have some fun and both of us went home at 12 midnight.

That was also the very first time that I rode a ferris wheel in my life. That was such a memorable moment. I will never forget how scared I am that time, but Seungcheol helped me to conquer my fear of heights and I really enjoyed the view with him while riding the ferris wheel.

"Jeonghan-ah!" I heard Sowon, she called my name not that loud, but loud enough for me to come back to my senses.

"I've been calling your name few times already!" she sulked in front of me. I sighed and scratched the back of my neck. "What was it?" I asked, trying to sound sorry.

"What food would you like to order?" She asked, crossing her arms, still acting mad. I looked at the waiter waiting for my response. "Just one Pasta please." I said and the waiter left.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I tried to make it up with her and I also grabbed her hand but she forcefully grab it back.

"Sowon-ah, I'm sorry." I said in a soft tone and she looked at me. "You seems to be spacing out. What's bothering you, Jeonghan-ah?" She directly said and asked. I couldn't answer her question.

It's Seungcheol.

"It's nothing, Sowon-ah. Just, Student Council Responsibilities." I tried to make it sound convincing and it looks like she was convinced by my excuse.

But it's also true tho. I've been so busy with Student Council ever since I came back last Friday. I was working at every event especially the Music Fest. I don't want to overwork the rest of the Student Council Officers, and I want to make it up with them.

It was an awkward silence because I can't even think of any topic, instead, I just stared at the window once again, admiring every lights coming from the cars. It's too beautiful to see.

The awkward silence was broken by the Waiter who already served our orders. I peacefully eat my Pasta. But my eyes locked on the window. I don't know but I feel like I'm waiting for someone to come, though I know he's not coming.

"Jeonghan-ah," I know Sowon is getting pissed with my behavior right now. I looked at her, and I don't even know what kind of expression did I show to her.

"What's bothering you, really?" She asked in a serious tone and dropped her fork. "You seems to be thinking about something deep." She took notice on my behavior and how my mind floats while she's here, in front of me.

"I invited you to go out to dinner because I wasn't able to be with you the last time you invited me." She's waking my conscience up. I feel like it's my fault that I agreed having a dinner with her then I'll behave like this.

"Just tell me if you don't wanna go out with me as of the moment because I'm willing to listen to whatever your reason is and I'm also willing, to give you some time." She said and stood up leaving me there. I was left there, staring at my Pasta.

I stood up and went to the counter to pay and I ran after her. When I finally got to caught up with her speed, I held her wrist stopping her from walking away from me. We're now at the nearest park. This is also the park where Seungcheol brought me for pete's sake.

*Now Playing : Bye by GFriend*

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I felt a sudden stab on my chest seeing her crying. She forcefully took back her wrist from me.

"Sowon-ah.. what's the problem?" I asked in a soft manner, and she laughed at me. "What's the problem, Jeonghan?" She became so serious, still tears strolling down her cheek.

"Ask yourself, Jeonghan!" She shouted at me. I'm so glad that we're the only ones here at the Park.

"Just tell me, Sowon-ah! I can't think of anything I've done to you-"

"What's your relationship with Seungcheol?" She cuts me off. I was still. I can't even move my body, neither my mouth. I stood there, frozen.

"Why can't you answer me?" She asked, almost whispering. She's still crying.

"He's just a friend, Sowon." I gulped as I answer. She heaved a sigh. She looked at me straight into the eye.

"Are you really sure that he's just a friend, huh, Jeonghan?!" She asked me and I couldn't answer. My eyes is getting watery.

"For the few days staying in Japan, an anonymous person keeps on sending pictures to me. You in the clinic, taking care by Seungcheol. You guys going out in the Theme Park when I didn't even get to meet you at that fucking restaurant. That one picture of him carrying you after being beaten up," she gathered all his breath before adding, "You guys holding hands here, here at the same park we're at!" She shouted right onto my face.

I couldn't answer her. "And," She stopped for a second and made an eye contact with me. "Your very first encounter where he had your first." I looked at her in shock. But I shouldn't be surprised that she knew, we're at the same school that time.

"Your encounters in his car.." I suddenly remembered those times that Seungcheol kissed me in his car.

"And you know what's painful?" She asked me, her eyes is so red right now and I couldn't control myself but to cry too. "Is when he fell for you."

"Wanna know more what's more painful than that?" She asked me once again and I was just there, looking at her. "Is that I noticed that you fell for him too." I looked at her in shock.

"I-I don't like him, Sowon-ah.." I said and I tried to hold her hand but she immediately refused.

"Are you sure, Jeonghan?" She asked me in a sarcastic tone. "Maybe you don't know yet, but Jeonghan, I tried to not believe those pictures I received because you promised me.." She sobbed and it's really painful for me to see her like that. "..you promised me that you will wait for me." That was a loud bang.

"Can you wait for me?"

"You remembered your promise now? That was the promise you failed to fulfill." She pointed at me, dissing me. "I held onto your promise, Jeonghan." She turned her back and looked at up, probably trying to suppress her tears.

"I kept on holding onto that, Jeonghan. Not until I saw what those pictures really mean, face to face." She said and I looked at her confused.

"I saw how worried you were for him earlier, Jeonghan, specially when Seungkwan mentioned his name." She sniffled. I couldn't utter a word. I feel like she's slapping me with reality.

"You immediately forgot my existence and I can see how much he means to you." She broke down and I don't care if she will push me away, I need to be her shoulder right now, even though I'm also the reason of her pain right now.

"You may be fair for giving him a punishment, but I saw how much you wanted to go to him when he's about to bend on his knees due to tiredness." She revealed. So she saw me?

"You thought I went home? No. I was waiting for you so we can go home together, but instead, I saw you watching him." She glared at me. She's pointing every detail out and it hurts me even more.

"I even saw how you blush for him, and how you chased him so fast up to the Parking Lot. How you stepped back seeing him with a girl." She said, trying to carry the pain and I can feel it.

"I just knew that, I was the only one fighting for this relationship anymore." She finally broke down so bad in front of me.

I hugged her tight saying sorry to her, though I know she will try to release herself from my embrace but I don't care. She hit me at my shoulder too many times before letting me finally hug her.

When she calmed down, she looked at me with a soft face. She wiped off my tears, "Jeonghan, I know you're too scared to admit. But I know how much he means to you and I also know that you're in love with him." she softly said and held my hands.

"I don't want to hinder you anymore. At this moment, I realized that you were never in love with me. We were never in love."

"I'm not saying this with a bad taste. Of course, I am currently hurting, but both of us must accept the truth, must choose the truth, and must do what's right for both of us. Let's not fool ourselves anymore, Jeonghan. I know that the love you have for him is deeper and genuine than any other love I know."

"I know deep inside my heart that whatever we had was genuine as well. We just can't really help it when we are meant for somebody else. You're meant for Seungcheol, Jeonghan. I can feel it. Despite being hurt, I want you to be happy. With him."

"Fight for your love, Jeonghan-ah. Fight for him. Be happy, okay?" She said and she cupped my cheeks. I broke into tears. How did I manage to hurt her?

"I'm so sorry, Sowon-ah.." I lowered down my head but she lifted up my chin and she's smiling at me.

"I may be hurt right now, but it's okay. This is better than for us to hurt each other more further if we'll continue this relationship." She smiled and caressed my cheek.

"I want the best for you, Han. I want you to be happy, and I know that happiness will never come from me. Chase for your happiness, Jeonghan." She smiled and ruffled my hair. We both stood up and I give her my sweetest smile.

"You're the best part of me, Jeonghan. I hope we can still be friends after this." She said and offered me a hug which I gladly accepted.

Thanks, Sojung-ah..

-

I expected that we will end this relationship as messy as the others, but no. I hope Sowon could find the man of her dreams, and I know that's not me. She also said that she will go back to Japan with Eunwoo on Saturday.

I'm now at my apartment. I also called Eunwoo to take Sowon home. I threw myself on the bed as soon as I get in.

I took out my phone, and dialled Seungkwan's phone. "Yeoboseyo? (Hello?)" I heard Seungkwan answered.

"Seungkwan-ah.." I called his name out and bit my nails. "I think you're right." I said and hid my face under the pillow.

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

"I was too scared to admit it, Seungkwan-ah. But now, I realized, I think..." I heard a silence, meaning that I should continue and he's waiting for me to continue.

"...I think I'm inlove with Seungcheol."

And there, I heard a loud scream.

***

- 05.02.21