[act two; chapter five     -     marble statue]

    She can feel the exhaustion seep into the fabric of her soul, soaking entirely into her bones. She felt it in every sluggish step she made, moving closer and closer to their destination. She felt it in the way her vision was dazed and blurred, every individual object ahead of her sliding as though it lay atop a plane of ice. She felt the exhaustion with every stumble of her feet, one after another, until, after a point, she tripped, Sokka catching her arm.

    She had waved him off.

    (No mistakes.)

    "I'm okay, really."

    (A statue made of marble.)

    "Are you sure?"

    (Perfect. You must be perfect—)

    "Lian?"

    She looked over her shoulder, meeting Sokka's drained eyes. Like her, exhaustion had become a friend. His eyes were heavy, the circles beneath them weighing the rest of him down as his feet slid over the dirt beneath them.

   Lian admired him. She found herself astonished by those whom she was surrounded by. They were pillars of stone, each and every one of them. Despite the exhaustion and the hunger and the fear, they continued on. Pushed through it.

    She looked down, then, glancing at her right hand. Her bandages had come undone hours ago, though she had no energy to fix them. She could see the scars, the way they made themselves known through the fabric, the red skin raw and fragile against the burning sun over her head. And then she saw it—shaking. Her hand was shaking. Back and forth, back and forth. Shaking against her leg, her shoulders tired. Tired from holding her arms. Tired from keeping her balanced.

    She pulled her shoulders back, anchoring them against her back. She could not show them her exhaustion. It must be saved for her. It was her burden, her weight to carry. So she would shove it back, she would bear it for as long as it took. She could not let them see the shake or the way she threatened to topple over the edge, to let everything crumble. Her reserve, her strength, her smile, her power. She could feel it all, the cracks and small splinters.

    (You are marble.)

    "This is humiliating."

    It was Katara who said it. Something that, Lian knew, they all had been thinking. The elder girl said nothing in response, keeping her eyes focused on what lay ahead, ensuring that her feet took one step after another. She could feel her skin burning under the heat of the sun, her neck uncovered and bare.

    (She felt it almost immediately, the heat to the back of her neck. The way all of her hair, her long, beautiful hair, had become something of a nightmare. It nearly ceased to exist, short and choppy against the burnt skin of her neck. She could hear Azula's laughter, Iroh's shouts, and Zuko's gasps. She was burning. She was burning alive—)

    "Do you mean getting thoroughly spanked by the Fire Nation or having to walk all the way to the Western Air Temple?" Sokka braced his hands out in front of him as he spoke, watching and waiting for his sister's response.

    She sighed, head hanging low between her hunched shoulders. "Both."

    From somewhere behind them—Lian wasn't sure how far—Aang apologized. Again. "Sorry, guys, but Appa gets tired carrying all these people."

    Toph and Lian stuck to the front of the group, slowly carrying their bodies along forcibly. One foot in front of the other, keep walking, don't stop.

    Haru cleared his throat. "I wonder how the rest of the troops are. They're probably on their way to a prison. Seems like my dad just got out, now he's going back in."

    The Princess looked over her shoulder, casting him one sidelong look, her brows pulled tightly together in a frown. "I'm so sorry, Haru—"

    "No need to apologize, Lian. You haven't done anything wrong."

    So she remained silent, keeping her head forward.

    (Shoulders back. Chin up. No mistakes.)

    She did her best to drown out the complaints, the shared exhaustion that lingered in mumbled words and murmured pleas to be done.

    Suddenly Toph, who stood a foot ahead of her, stopped, her eyes blown wide, her lips spread in a broad smile. "Hey, we're here! I can feel it."

    Katara raised a brow, "Uh, I think your feet need their eyes checked."

    Lian shook her head, crouching down to rest upon one knee. She pressed her hands into the ground, closing her eyes. She felt it then. The earth. It was cooler here, more powerful. As if something lingered in every pebble of dirt and grain of sand. As if there were histories carved into the ground beneath them. She smiled, if only faintly. "She's right. We made it."

    The two earthbenders continued to be amazed by what the plain eyes, at this point, could not see. The younger of the two gasped, "Wow, it's amazing."

    She could feel it, see it. The architecture. The stories which had been told, carved into the century-old stone.

    It was even more incredible to the eye. When they had landed on the shelf of the temple, Lian had taken a moment, stepped away, and observed. She had admired the stories in books that she had read as a kid. The tales of the many Monks and Avatars. Of how, generation after generation, their culture was still so cherished. How, no matter their background, every Avatar who followed the first came to learn from the stories, from those who survived to tell them, even when they aged centuries.

    Teo gasped, looking at the ceiling and the carvings that remained there. "It's so different from the Northern Air Temple. I wonder if there are any secret rooms."

    Haru and several of the others went on to adventure, off to discover if, sure enough, there were secret rooms or tunnels. To discover what all the Temple had, hidden in years of culture and destruction.

    Aang, however, could not do the same. He collapsed against a stone bench, his staff perched beside him. He crossed his arms over his chest, avoiding everyone's eyes. "So, what's the new plan?"

    Sokka, with a hand to his chin, said, "Well, if you ask me, the new plan is the old plan. You just need to master all four elements and confront the Fire Lord before the comet comes."

    Lian winced, trying to hide her expression as she sat, leaning her back against the stone bench that Katara sat atop. She covered her mouth with her hand, leaning into it, forcing her eyes to remain open.

    Aang huffed sarcastically. "Oh, yeah, that's great. No problem, I'll just do that."

    "Aang," Katara said, leaning forward slightly, sharing an uneasy look with Lian. "No one said it's gonna be easy."

    "Well, it's not even gonna be possible. Where am I supposed to get a firebending teacher?"

    Katara's eyes lit up. "We could look for Jeong Jeong."

    "Who?" Lian asked aloud, looking around between the four. Her brows were pulled together, lips slightly agape in confusion.

    Aang gestured a hand out in her direction. "He's a firebending master who tried to teach me firebending. I was horrible at it." He looked at Katara and shook his head, rolling his eyes just slightly. "Yeah, right. Like we'll ever run into Jeong Jeong again."

    After a moment and an awkward beat of silence, Toph turning her body away as she, too, shared Lian's confusion.

    Aang let out a harsh breath, using momentum to pick his body up from the bench. "Oh, well, guess we can't come up with anybody. Why don't we just take a nice tour around the Temple?"

    And off he went without another word, Momo following his every movement as they took to their air, disappearing around the corner.

   Toph cleared her throat. "What's up with him?"

    But Sokka was more focused on the subject at hand, resting his face in the palm of his hand. His eyes appeared busy, thinking of something, or someone, who could remedy their issue. "There's got to be someone who can teach him firebending."

———

    Katara had made it her mission, then, to convince Aang to find a teacher. To teach him firebending. To master the four elements as he had been taught to as the Avatar. If he did not, Lian knew, the world would be at risk—more than it already was.

    "Aang," she said, her voice echoing between the cliffs and buildings. "Can we talk about you learning firebending now?"

    Lian sighed, leaning against the side of Appa's saddle, her legs kicked out in front of her. She shook her head as continued to ignore them, no matter how hard they tried to grasp his attention fully.

    Her attention, however, lingered more on whomever stood only feet away. The moment she had leapt from Appa's back, her feet landing on the ground below her, her breath had been caught. Stolen and taken from her lungs, leaving her heaving and pleading for more.

    She hardly heard anything at all as he came into her sight. Hardly heard anything that left the mouths of those who stood behind her, or the one who stood in front of her. She watched him, then. Watched as he faltered, as his eyes fell upon her and seemed to stop. As he held his breath.

    She felt as though she were dreaming. As if everything around her was entirely fabricated, stitched together by her mind. It was as though her head had been held underwater, as if she were coming up for air. She couldn't breathe, she could hardly register the fact that Zuko stood just out of her reach. He was so close. He was so close she could feel his heartbeat in his chest; she could feel it as it sped up in the cage of his ribs.

    And then he smiled. It was a smile that she had memorized. She swore it had been engraved into her bones. That when she died, when she was nothing but a bag of bones, his smile would remain. It would be there, for all to see, carved into who she was. No matter how long she was here, on this earth, or where she went in death—Lian would always remember Zuko's smile.

    "Hello, Zuko here."

    She wanted to laugh. She wanted to scream and cry and hit him. She wanted to hug him and hold him. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted Zuko to hold her in his arms and tell her it would all work out. She ached for his arms, for his voice in her ear. She ached to feel his warmth once more, a feeling that she had forgotten over their four years apart. She wished he would forgo his pride—that she could do the same. She wished that he would run to her and tell her he hadn't meant to hurt her. That he hadn't meant to do any of it.

    She wished to be surrounded entirely by him, just as the earth needed the sun to have light.

    And Zuko...Zuko was suffocating. He felt as though he were drowning, as if he was being held under crashing waves. As if Lian was waiting at the surface. His incentive to push back up, to kick up from the dark underbelly of the ocean and reach for whatever lay ahead. He wished to do it with her. To find whatever lay ahead, whatever awaited them at the end. He wished to run to her, to tell her he hadn't meant it. That everyday since the night in Ba Sing Se he had thought of her. That she haunted him, plagued him.

    But he couldn't.

    Even as her friends drew their weapons or found themselves in fighting stances, Lian did not. She would not fight him, not again. But she would hear his words, hear him speak his mind.

    Because she knew Zuko was anything but a liar.

    "I heard you guys flying around down there, so I just thought I'd wait for you here."

    Appa approaches him, then, the giant creature doing what, typically, he did when he found someone's company enjoyable. Aang, of course, took notice of it, his arms falling down, no longer with his staff pointed at the Prince.

    "I know you must be surprised to see me here—"

    Sokka cut him off, his brows furrowed. "Not really, since you've followed us all over the world."

    "Right...well, uh...anyway. What I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed. And I, uh, I'm good now. And, well, I think I should join your group. Oh, and I can teach firebending..." he looked to Aang, his amber eyes full of something Lian hadn't seen from him in a long time. Hope. "To you."

    Lian avoided Zuko's eyes, finding his gaze unbearable to meet. Every part of her body ached, wishing to meet his eyes. But instead, her eyes found Aang's. Searching. Waiting for his response.

    "See, I, uh—"

    "You want to what now?" Toph's voice raised as she spoke, her body turned away from him as her foggy eyes darted around, unsure of where to focus.

    Katara wound her jaw together, leaning forward. "You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?"

    "Yeah," her brother was quick to join (Lian wished she could yell at them, tell them to stop talking). "All you've ever done is try to hunt us down and capture Aang."

    "I've done some good things! I mean, I could've stopped Lian and stolen your bison in Ba Sing Se, but I helped set him free. That's something."

    Lian felt Katara's eyes drilling into her, burning through her. She could feel them focused on the side of her face. Shame was all she could feel. Shame curling around her gut, hugging her insides. Her stomach ached and her head was pounding and there was a sharp ringing in her ears. Zuko was right. She had been there, he had helped her release Appa. He had been the reason she had made it to the beach to intercept the Dai Li with the bison. She had owed him for that; she hadn't forgotten. But she also had never mentioned it to anyone else. She had sealed that moment to her mind and heart alone, saved it for herself.

     Toph, of all people, agreed with Zuko. With something undefinable in her tone, she said, "Appa does seem to like him."

    "He probably just covered himself in honey or something so that Appa would lick him." Sokka had, of course, put his imagination to use, so much so that Lian, in any other circumstance, would have scolded him or done something. But now, with Katara's eyes burning into her and Zuko, she grasped a hold of silence and did not let go. "I'm not buying it."

    Zuko's head dipped, his expression fallen. "I can understand why you wouldn't trust me and I know I've made some mistakes in the past."

    "Like when you attacked our village?"

    "Or when you stole my mother's necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?"

    Lian saw his confident front begin to fracture. She saw the way it had begun to get to him, bother him. Like an itch that refused to go away. It was persistent and painful. "Look, I admit I've done some awful things. I was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe. And I never should've sent that Fire Nation assassin after you. I'm gonna try to stop him."

    But Zuko had misspoken. He hadn't realized, then, how his words had set a bout of understanding upon the group, though Lian had already suspected he had been the one behind the three-eyed man. His words only reaffirmed what she already knew.

    Sokka pulled his boomerang from his back, pointing it at the firebender. "Wait, you sent combustion man after us?"

    "Well, that's not his name, but—"

    "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to insult your friend."

    "He's not my friend!" Zuko shouted, his defense crumbling quickly. It was as though the ground below him was giving out, as if he was about to drop through and never see the daylight again.

    Toph pointed angrily at him. "That guy locked me and Katara in jail and tried to blow us all up."

    (Go, she wanted to tell him. To scream. Turn around and leave. They're angry, they won't listen. Come back later.)

    Zuko exhaled, releasing the tension in his fists as he turned his attention to the only two people present who hadn't spoken a word. (He wished to hear her voice. To hear her speak.) "Why aren't you saying anything?" His attention was on Aang, arms splayed out at his sides. "You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me." His eyes drifted to Lian, and she swore, if only for a moment, thirteen year old Zuko was staring at her from the stage where he had been forced to fight his father. An unwilling battle in which he was tortured and torn apart. "You know I do."

    She opened her mouth, prepared to speak, but she felt their eyes on her, then, the others. She felt them against her skin and in her mind. She could imagine the disappointment. The anger. Because they knew, just as much as she did, that she would say nothing bad about Zuko's character. Because to Lian, she had only ever known the Zuko before the scar. And he had been good and kind and gentle, then. Just a boy. And she had only been just a girl.

     Aang met the others' eyes, met their hesitancy and their anger and distrust head on. And then he turned to Zuko, and Lian had to turn away. "There's no way we can trust you after everything you've done. We'll never let you join us."

    Katara stepped forward, taking the Avatar's words as an invitation to do what she had been waiting to do. "You need to get out of here, now."

    Zuko's eyes darted to Lian helplessly. "I'm trying to explain that I'm not that person anymore."

    But Sokka intercepted. He stepped between Zuko and Lian, raising his weapon once more. "Either you leave or we attack."

    When she looked at him, truly looked, all she saw was desperation. This was Zuko's desperate attempt at redemption, to show that he was not what he had done. That his actions had been fueled by a fear that all of them could understand. That he was trying to move past it, to live a life uncontrolled by his want to be loved by a man who would never love him or accept him. "If you won't accept me as a friend, then maybe you'll take me as a prisoner." He placed himself slowly on his knees, hands held out before him in offering.

    But Katara's anger was fierce. It was unbent and unbroken, and she refused. "No we won't!" She shouted, knocking him back with a wave of water, not caring as she heard Lian suck in a breath, turning her body fully away at last. "Get out of here and don't come back. And if we ever see you again...well, we'd better not see you again."

———

     As the sun began to set in the sky, Aang wandered to a quiet corner of the Temple. There, he found Lian sitting in a circle of pillar's, leaning against one of the marble columns. Her green eyes, lighter in the sun, were cast to the sky, her body as relaxed as it had been in the past days.

    Her eyes darted to him as he approached, though she said nothing as she hugged her legs tighter to her chest, looking back towards the sky.

    Aang inhaled deeply. He could feel her frustration, feel the way it thrummed through her body like the blood in her veins. And even when she was angry, when she doubted everything, she remained poised. Elegant, the Avatar thought. He sat down across from her, leaning his back against a pillar. When he spoke, he did so quietly, approaching the subject with the same gentle quality he knew