Yoongi's POV

I was fiddling around with the tone and pitch of a melody, making notes for lyrics when a knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I frowned, "Who is it?" I asked grumpily.

I heard a female chuckle on the other side of the door which caused me to swivel around in my chair to look at my door. "It's me." Y/N called out.

I moved quickly to the door, unlocking it and swinging the door open. She was in a t-shirt that was tucked a bit into her sweatpants and barefoot. Her face looked to be washed clean, though her hair was still styled for the dinner date she went on with Jin and Namjoon. 'Cute', was all I could think.

"Am I interrupting?" She asked looking past me and to the equipment in the room.

"You can interrupt me anytime kitten." I said as I turned waving her into the room. I sat back in my computer chair, watching her walk into the room and the door closing behind her. She looked around taking in the room and décor before coming to a stop in front of me, just out of my reach.

"I can read it all over you face. What you want to talk about?" I said, looking at her concerned.

Y/N's POV

'Kitten?' I melted at the nickname but quickly got back onto my rollercoaster track of a thought process. I knew I was about to babble a bunch of nonsense but prayed Yoongi understood because the need to put what I am feeling into words was freaking me out. I started pacing the room as I began my spew nonsense.

"Um... being an Anomaly has always been a lonely life, even when surrounded by people. People only wanted to know me because of my power, because I am rare, and I feel like sometimes I am in a cage at a zoo and people are looking at me through the bars. I know that will not end any time soon, if ever, and I think that I am okay with that now. Cause I am not alone anymore." I made eye contact with Yoongi but didn't stop my pacing. "Most my life has been a battle to survive, some parts complete hell, but I cannot regret it because I ended up right in front of you guys. Every time I feel bad, or think negatively, some rational thought pops into my head as to why I should not be. This is all because of you guys, always being understanding and accepting of just everything."

"I know it will take time for me to completely forgive everything I have been through and done. To be able to love myself, like you guys always sing and speak about." I stopped pacing in front of him, tilting my head deep in thought. "Maybe I could actually enjoy falling in love." I murmured before waving my hand away like I wanted to chase the thought away.

He scooted forward in his chair and pulled me close pressing his face into my stomach, his hands on the back of my thighs. I put my hands in his hair and ran my fingers through which caused him to sigh and relax.

I continued on, "I was bombarded at the restaurant. People wanting to shake my hand, get their picture taken with me, to ask me questions that were none of their damn business. I understand what you guys go through a bit more, but as a bodyguard I will be able to put a barrier up and bounce people off... gently of course."

Yoongi chuckled at the image I put in his mind, before leaning back in his chair. "I am determined to be a better person, to be stronger, to be happier, to forgive myself... but never forget." I said before shyly admitting. "I want to do this so I am the best me, I can be for the 7 best guys."

"What if you're already the best in our eyes?" He asked. This caused me to frown, which made him puff out his cheeks in frustration.

'What if I was the best in their eyes?' I thought trying not to get distracted by Yoongi's puffed out cheeks. 'Would I ever actually be good enough in my own eyes for them?' Maybe I should listen and believe in them more; frustrated and confused, I ran my hand through my hair. " Perhaps... but I have no idea how relationships actually work whether they be romantic or not. Hell... if I continue on the path, I am going I don't even know if I will be able to balance it all," I grumbled out before making eye contact with Yoongi. This only caused him to give me his lopsided grin.

"I am sure you would find a way to balance. You have a big heart and would make sure no one was feeling unloved." He said knowingly. "Also, you know what you want to do, what you have to do to push through everything. I know we all have said this to you, but you aren't alone anymore. Trust yourself and your judgments. You fall, we will pull you back up. I know you feel like you have to protect us all the time, but we can protect you also. Let us in, I am 99.9% sure you will not be disappointed."

I hummed to myself, 'trust myself,' nodding my head. "I can do that; no, I will do that. Though in reality I doubt any of you could disappoint me," I responded. I chewed my lip as looked over Yoongi and the chair he was sitting in.

"Can we snuggle a bit?" I asked him, not wanting to be alone at the moment. I felt pretty calm, but I could feel some painful and terrifying memories pressing for attention in the back of my mind.

"I really want to finish some things," He said frowning. I nodded, "We can do both!" I said grinning at him, "If you don't mind anyways." He shook his head and opened his arms wide looking at me confused as to how I was to make this work.

I climbed up on him, straddling his lap, my own legs hanging off the back of the seat. "Arms over or under my own?" I asked him. He scooched closer to his desk to check where he needed his arms to be which led to my arms over his shoulders but resting the weight of them on the back of the chair. We were chest to chest, and I could barely feel the edge of the desk against my back. We both adjusted ourselves before we became comfortable, I pressed my face against his neck listening to him type away and moving the mouse around clicking every now and again. Feeling safe and content in his arms, I yawned, sleep wanting to take me under. I pressed a kiss to his cheek before closing my eyes and letting myself drift to dreamworld.

Yoongi's POV

She was fast asleep when I looked at the time, it was now 3am. No wonder I was starting to feel drowsy.

"Y/N, my kitten, let's go to bed." I cooed out rubbing my hands up and down her back. She lifted her head up and looked at me with bleary eyes. She gave a small groan before she scooched back on my legs, detangling herself from the arms of my chair, nearly falling but quickly catching herself on the desk before standing. She shuffled slowly to the door, opening it before looking back at me, waiting.

We both went down the stairs and I walked her to her room. She turned around, going on her toes to give me a kiss that landed right on the corner of my lips. I grinned, knowing she wanted to put the kiss on my cheek, but she kept swaying and missed. I also knew she loved us all, but I knew she wanted to be a better, more healed person before initiating anything. I watched her walk into her room and climb into bed.

I turned wandering into my room, also climbing into my own bed. Y/N was something else, she wanted to become stronger, but she was already so strong. I fell asleep thinking of her and all the possibilities to come.

5:30am

Fear rolled over me waking me from my deep sleep and causing goose bumps to break out along my skin. I froze trying to figure out what was happening before realizing it was coming from Y/N. I quickly kicked my covers off, running out of my room.

Y/N POV *Trigger Warning – Nightmare/Flashback of violence and trauma please skip to next chapter, there will be a less descriptive recap in that chapter and how things became as they are*

No... I don't want to be here. It was dark, damp, the chains on my wrists and ankles cold and draining my power. I felt myself trying to curl tighter into myself but there was so much pain. My uniform is in tatters, bruising all over my body, multiple broken bones. I could barely open my left eye. I don't know how long since the last time my captors came in, asking questions. They hadn't held back in trying to beat the answers out of me for military bases and patrol routes. Blood dripped down my face from the gash in my head. They were getting pissed and more reckless. I wasn't going to answer their questions after what happened last time.

They had taken my innocence, they had touched me in places no one has ever touched me, it hurt. I had lost consciousness at some point, but I could feel the pain after the fact. I was dirty inside and out, broken inside and out. I shivered; I was trying to keep myself from going into shock. Every breath I took hurt I whimpered trying to calm down as more tears poured down my face. Can't they just put me out of my misery... Everything hurt... I stiffened, causing me to cry out in pain, as I heard keys jangling outside the door. No, they are coming, I am too weak. I won't be able to fight them off I couldn't control my fear or panic. More tears fell, cutting through the dirt and blood on my face... The door opened and the smell of amber and cotton came in with the person.

"Y/N" hands were on my shoulders before they wrapped around me. Warmth? I took a deep breath in...Kookie?! What is he doing here? He can't be here! I looked over his shoulder as my prison disappeared...

"Kookie, Kookie," I clung to him as I tried to get my breathing.

"Shhhhh... it's okay. You're safe. We got you." He said into my hair.

'We?' I felt my bed dip behind me as another body curled around me from behind. "Kitten, you're here with us and will never go back to wherever you just were." I didn't think I would be able to fall back asleep, but the weight of their arms around me and their warmth made me relax again. I slipped into a dreamless sleep... feeling safe and warm.