[ cool this is partially based on real experiences so kill me now // song is by camping in alaska

warnings: language

stay safe,
lew. ]

———————

Lewis is really regretting asking Logan and Harry to come over and hang out. They're being sweet, and it just emphasizes how much he'd like to have someone like that.

He's perched in a chair on the other side of the room, while the couple are cuddled close on the couch. It's hard to watch, not because he's disgusted, but because it feels like someone's ripping his heart out.

Logan leans in for a kiss, and Harry playfully shoves him away. Neither of them can stop laughing, and it's only natural for Lewis to laugh too.

Then, Logan gets up and says, "I'm going over here with Lewis, he's nicer than you are."

It's all a joke.

It's all a joke, but Lewis' heart still stops for a moment.

It's all a joke, but dammit, Lewis can't handle this. He's had a crush on Logan for a long time now.

Logan wedges himself into the chair too, wraps his arms around Lewis until Lewis has no choice but to hug back.

"Lewis will be my boyfriend now, since you won't give me a kiss."

Another joke, another strike at Lewis' heart.

And instead of staying curled together like he so desperately wants, he fakes a laugh and shoves Logan away.

————

Later, they're all just sitting around the table, waiting for the pizza they ordered to arrive.

Logan's got an empty water bottle that he's spinning around, and every time it lands on Harry, he leans over and gives him another kiss.

This time, it points at Lewis. Logan puckers his lips jokingly, and it takes all the self control Lewis has to tell him in the most monotone voice: "I'd rather die than kiss either of you."

There's a flash of relief that comes across Harry's face, while Logan acts offended. "Am I not good enough?"

Lewis lies when he mumbles, "I don't really wanna kiss anyone."

He says it like it's true.

Like he hasn't thought about what kissing his best friend would be like.

Like he hasn't wanted to do it for months.

———————

[ this is kinda rlly sucky tbh

also:

me, less than halfway through my housesitting job at three in the morning: if i tried writing smut again, how far would i get before i psyched myself out? and would anyone even read it? ]