[ my mom constantly watches home renovation / buying shows and this is the result please shoot me // song is by pvris

warnings: language bc i'm a foul mouthed bitch

concept: lewis documents his journey in buying a house by appearing on one of those shitty HGTV shows

stay safe,
lew. ]

———————

"Rockstar Lewis Williams of the popular band With Love has decided to move out of his mother's house, and with the help of his best friend and bandmate Logan, he tries to find a house that fits both his style and his wishlist," the voiceover began, as the scene opened up on Lewis, Logan, and their vaguely star struck real estate agent.

"I need a house with the possibility of putting in a music room -slash- studio area, a big backyard for my garden, and I'd like for it to either be near a forest, or have at least a dogwood tree on the property," Lewis told the agent, a nervous smile on his face as he tucked his hands in his hoodie pocket.

"Any size requirements?" The agent asked, jotting down what he was saying on her notepad.

"Not really? I don't need anything too crazy, but I'd like to have a little bit of space, still."

————

House number one was an extravagant mansion that, at first glance, Lewis looked intimidated by. Logan, however, seemed excited.

"Lew, just think of all the fucking amazing parties you could have!"

"Logan, buddy, I'd rather shoot myself in the foot than have a party that big."

—

It was a gorgeous space, though. Plenty of room for a spacious practice area for the band, and it even had an amazing backyard for his gardening.

"I don't know what I'd do with all the extra space," Lewis explained softly, speaking slowly to keep himself from stuttering. "I'd feel the need to fill the rooms and end up with way too much junk. Do you think that you could show us something a lot smaller?"

—

House number two was a three bedroom house with two floors and a finished basement. The front yard had a dogwood, just like he had wanted. His face lit up as he lightly smacked Logan's arm. murmuring, "I think these are so fucking pretty when they're in bloom."

The agent explained that the house was set up a bit oddly before she even let them inside. "The master suite is upstairs. All you have is the bedroom and a bathroom up there, because it's like half the size of your main floor. The basement would have enough room for your studio and a guest room, but there's a nice bedroom on this floor too!"

"Let's go look, then!" It was clear that Lewis was excited to look at the house. He grabbed Logan's arm, pulling the younger man towards the front door.

—

"So, what did you think?" The agent asked, a wide smile on her face.

"I want this one," Lewis told her simply.

"Oh, uh, I have another house tour set up for tomorrow for one that's in better condition-"

"Nope. I really like this one, and I can see myself living here. Thanks for showing me!"

——

"It's been a couple months since I moved in, and I still love this place. I'm still debating whether or not I want my bedroom here on the main floor, because it's got that awesome sliding glass door into the backyard," Lewis explained, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I'm excited. I'm gonna have a lot of good memories here."

————————

[ yeah lewis you're gonna end up with a lot of shitty memories in that house too dumbass ]