[ i'm bi and always ready to cry wassup // song is by badflower,  but tw- it's about suicide!! be careful!!

warnings: language and monsters doing dumb shit. this is like a reset button on my parts of this au. thank

stay safe,
lew. ]

——————

It's a wonder that they even get along.

Six monsters living in the same house, it's a setup to a shitty joke.

A vampire, werewolf, angel, demon, wizard, and siren all share a house-

I'm just joking, but their lives seem like a dumb sitcom at times.

The angel and the demon are married. Demon and werewolf are best friends. There werewolf is terrified of the vampire. The vampire and the siren hate each other. The list goes on and on.

But they actually get along... sometimes.

—

Chase sneaks back into the house, creeping along with an almost practiced grace. She'd been out after the curfew that Harry set, seeing her current girlfriend, and she really doesn't want to be caught.

So, of course, she gets caught by Lewis, the most rule-abiding of her roommates. He's in the kitchen, making himself a mug of tea more than likely, and it's obvious that he smells her before he sees her.

"Hey, come here," he calls softly from overtop his mug, leaving her to curse under her breath as she stomps into the room. "I need to ask you a couple questions."

"Only if you don't tell Harry I left," she bargains, leaning against the counter. "What's up, buttercup?"

"Do you think the whole 'no bringing people home' rule applies to me?"

"Damn, dude, does it look like I know? I think it was mainly for me and Ezra, but the only way you'll know is if you ask him." She glances up at him and crosses her arms, idly running her fingers across her scales. "Why do you ask? Got a secret boyfriend or something?"

"Girlfriend, actually," he corrects softly, a fond smile on his lips. "Not everyone here is in a same-sex relationship."

"Dude, you almost look gayer than Ronnie. A girlfriend is the last thing they'd expect from you. Just... ask Harry, okay? If you want her to spend the night, and he doesn't really want to let you, I'll help you sneak her in."

"Thanks. So... are you gonna tell me 'bout your girlfriend?" He asks, taking a sip of his drink. "I mean, if you aren't planning on falling asleep, and this doesn't come off as creepy, I'd love-"

"Yeah, man. You're good. Wanna go to your room or mine?"

"Mine is fine, I just kinda don't wanna be alone right now. I'm glad I stopped you."

—

The next morning, Lewis stops Harry before the angel can leave the house.

The werewolf is timid in all of his actions, especially around Harry. He's made a lot of mistakes that would probably damn him, blinded by pressure from his former pack and hunger, and at one point in time, teenage desire. All of which might put a target on his back in the angel's eyes.

"I gotta ask you a question," Lewis mumbled, tucking his hands into his hoodie pocket. "Is... um- Can I bring someone over tonight? I know there's the rule about not bringing people home but-"

"Do whatever you want. That rule wasn't meant for you; we know you're not going to kill anyone," Harry sighed, pushing past him. "I really need to go. Don't do anything stupid."

—

The girl he brings home isn't human. Harry senses it as soon as they step off the sidewalk, Ezra can smell it, one of Ronnie's little charms alerts him, and Logan knows as soon as he sees her.

Her skin has an almost green cast to it, limbs delicate like flower stems. She's pretty, an ethereal beauty with flowers in her hair and on her clothes. It's not surprising that Lewis likes her, given his affinity for flora.

"This is Daisy, but you guys can call her Z," Lewis tells his housemates, shyly clinging to his girlfriend. "And these are my- my friends. Harry and Logan are the ones that'll probably start making out before too long. Ronnie and Ezra are the normal looking ones for once, and... I dunno where Chase went. She'll show up soon."

"It's nice to meet you," she says sincerely, smiling happily at the gathered group.

"I thought you were still fucking with me about having a girlfriend, holy shit."  A loud voice echoes in front the other room before anyone can respond, and within seconds, there's Chase, standing there with her normal shit-eating grin and scales on full display. "Dude, you're hot. Way outta his league."

Z just laughs, shaking her head slightly. "If you say so. I don't agree, but still."

"If you break up... I call dibs."

——————

[ okay dumb stuff / extras i wanna add to this au:

- lewis and logan knew each other in high school, before logan went demon and lewis got bit

- lewis has been the shittiest werewolf and was only in a pack for like a month before they kicked him out

- lewis rarely talks to ezra and ronnie bc they intimidate him, but he enjoys ronnie's company

- if i remember right, vampire ezra is like,,, 119 or something, and chase consistently calls him a dinosaur

- chase's scales go away when she's hydrated or concentrated on keeping them hidden, but when she's dehydrated, they appear more translucent, and when she's overhydrated, they're iridescent and stick out like a sore thumb

- chase's kill count is probably in the range of 100-200, while ezra's is probably 10k+

- lewis' kill count is like 2.

- somewhere in ronnie's family tree is like a half-angel and that's how harry and ronnie are related

- bailey's effectively chase's wingman sometimes by shifting and pretending to be her dog to pick up girls bc dog is the way to a girl's heart apparently

- i'm also changing it from dalmatian to like,,, a labradoodle or something that's got curly hair in honor of the faceclaim switch

- chase's mentioned girlfriend in this is maureen, who's gonna probably be like,,, faerie folk?? like an evil little pretty bitch who finds loopholes and ways to make almost everything turn bad

- also if i add cody to this,,,, he's gonna be like the opposite of ronnie bc i think ronnie's light aligned with his magic, and cody would be dark aligned bc he's canonically a satanist so,,,,

- marcus is a human dude who's just,,, he knows something isn't 100% right with these people but oh well that's above his pay grade

i wanna do backstory for this au too,,,

so backstory elements-

- lewis' is: bitten at age 19, he considers it karma for the shitty things he did from 14-16, and he finds logan at age 20 and moves in with him after finding out that hey my best friend from high school?? high tier in hell's hierarchy??. and he's there when logan meets harry and falls in love and starts the sanctuary for monsters

- chase: born scaly, told it was just extremely dry skin, accidentally charmed the guy she had her first kiss with into shooting her dad, proceeded to charm people into doing stupid shit, met bailey and charmed him into telling her his biggest secret and found out he was a lil monster too, they live together until chase meets ezra and ronnie, and one day hanging out with them gets her invited to live at the monster house

- bailey: developed his puppy ears at like five, lives on the streets or as people's pets for years, then meets chase, and he's just a spectator to the bullshit. he might have the new three as roommates at one point in time?? idk