WARNING: This chapter is extremely sad and I wrote it while I was sad, so therefore bad things happen. Don't read it right now if you don't want to cry. Furthermore, I'd like to apologize for this monstrous chapter I have written. I hate myself for doing this. You can kill me if you'd like. I won't object.  

Derek

Ben slipped in and out of consciousness during the eight hours I drove. I asked him if he was hungry at least six times, because he hadn't eaten anything since before the hospital, but every time he said no and went back to sleep. The worst part about this whole thing, other than the fact that Ben was dying, was knowing how much Stiles was going to be hurt if he ever saw me again. I hadn't exactly considered all of the consequences of my actions before packing Ben and I's things and leaving. I only thought about saving Ben, and how much happier Stiles would be once he was okay. What I didn't think about, was how much Stiles would miss me. Once I turned myself over to Aaron in exchange for Ben's life, there was no telling what could happen. I was certain he wouldn't just let me go. 

"Dad?" Ben said softly from the back. I glanced at him as he stretched his arms and then rubbed his eyes. "Where are we going again?" He had asked the same question a few hours ago, but this poison inside of him was screwing with his memories. "Where's daddy?"

I sighed quietly and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Daddy's at home. You'll see him soon," I promised, trying to give the most convincing and reassuring smile. I had no idea if this plan was going to work, so my promise wasn't a real one. I just had to make sure Ben believed me, because I didn't want him to be scared. "We're going to get you better."

"Dad, are you okay?" Ben asked, leaning forward in his seat, the most awake I'd seen him all day. "You're crying," he pointed out. 

I sniffed and wiped at my face with the back of my hand. "I'm fine, Ben. I'm okay, I promise. I just miss your daddy." I did miss him, a lot. I felt so guilty every time I looked at Ben. I should've been at home with Stiles figuring out a rational plan, but it couldn't wait any longer. 

Ben was quiet for a minute, but when I looked back at him, he was still awake. "Why can't we just go home?" Ben wondered, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. "We both miss daddy. Can we go back to him?" He drifted back to sleep before I could answer him. I was just glad I didn't have to think of something to tell him. How was I supposed to explain to him that he wouldn't see me again after this, but at least he'd be alive? Would he forgive me, even if Stiles won't?

I drove until I found the same place where they had held me captive the day before. I was scared of what I would find. The last I saw, Chris Argent and his men had stormed the place, but now here I was, praying for Aaron to still be alive. I needed him to still be alive, for Ben's sake. 

I turned off the car and sat in silence for what seemed like hours. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to lose Stiles over this, but I couldn't lose Ben either. 

The sound of my ringtone cut through the silence. I wasn't going to answer it. I didn't have the strength to listen to Stiles, or Kara, or anyone else telling me how much of an idiot I was for doing this. So I let it ring. I didn't check to see who it was. Eventually, it stopped. I sat there awhile longer, and then it rang again. 

"Answer it," Ben mumbled from the back. "Dad, please answer it. It could be daddy, telling us to come home. I wanna go home. Just answer it," Ben begged. When I looked back at him, his eyes were red and watering. He looked so terrible, so sick. I wanted to get him help as soon as possible, but I hated making him sad. "Please," he whispered. 

"Okay," I replied, picking up the phone. I pressed the answer button before it could stop ringing again and held it to my ear. "Stiles?" I said, my voice breaking. 

His breathing was uneven, and I could hear him crying. "Derek, you have to come home," he spoke. He was trembling. "Derek, please, we found another way. Come home. You don't-" he paused, and it sounded like he was breaking down, sobbing so hard he couldn't speak. I was hours away. I couldn't get to him quick enough. "You don't have to do this," Stiles finished, taking a deep breath. 

Those words. . . "You don't have to do this." They were code for "Something is wrong, get here as soon as possible." I didn't remember when we came up with them exactly, but I knew what they meant. Stiles was in trouble, and that's why he was so upset. Something wasn't right. 

"Okay baby, calm down," I whispered, squeezing the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were white. "Just stay calm, I'll be home soon. A few hours, alright?" I turned the car back on and pulled back onto the road, driving too fast to be legal, but I didn't care. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Stiles replied. "Just happy we found a way to save Ben. Is-" Stiles paused again, another loud sob. "Is he okay?" he managed to choke out. "Is Ben okay?"

"He's okay," I lied, trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes so I could see the road in front of me. "Ben's okay," I repeated. "We'll be home soon. I love you. I love you so much, Stiles. Stay on the phone with me, please. I need you to keep talking to me." If he hung up, I wouldn't be able to know if he was okay. If he was using the code words, then he couldn't tell me what was wrong. That worried the hell out of me. 

"I-I can't," Stiles sobbed. "I'm sorry, Derek. I have to go. I can't wait to see you guys. Ben's going to live. It's. . .It's such great news. I love you guys." More gross sobbing. "I love you guys." The line went dead. Silent. 

"Damn it!" I screamed, throwing the phone to the side. It hit the window and fell to the floor, but I didn't care. I kept driving, still way too fast. Everything was a blur, tears were moving so fast down my face that I didn't bother wiping them away anymore. I needed to slow down. Something was going to happen if I didn't, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't find the strength to care anymore. I kept going, kept crying so hard I couldn't see. 

My hands were unstable. It all happened so fast, in a blur. I jerked the steering wheel too far to the right. There was something hard, like a telephone pole. We smashed right into it. I couldn't tell the difference between the blood and the tears running down my cheeks. I tried to move. I tried to get to Ben, but then everything went black.

+++

It was dark when I woke up. Everything hurt, but it was healing fast. I carefully undid my seatbelt and kicked open the door, easing myself out. I immediately threw open Ben's door, but he wasn't there. His seat was empty and stained with blood. I felt my heart beating against my chest, my stomach was in knots. If something had happened to him. . . if he was dead, I would never forgive myself. 

"Ben!" I screamed, stumbling down the road. Everything was blurred by my tears again, but I viciously wiped them away, yelling as I sank to my knees and and tried to catch my breath. Once I was able to move again, I stood up and continued walking down the side of the road. I was beginning to think I would never find him when something touched my leg, making me jump. "Ben?" I whispered, looking down. He was lying on the ground, barely conscious. His small hand reached towards me, stained with blood and dirt. "Oh my god, Ben," I muttered, bending to pick him up in my arms. He wrapped his arms around me and held on so tight that if I let go, he wouldn't fall. 

"I tried to find help," he said, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. "I couldn't walk anymore."

I ran a hand over his back soothingly, holding his head against my chest. "Ben, I'm so sorry," I cried, kissing his head over and over again. "I love you, I'm so sorry." It didn't matter anymore, he was already unconscious again. He couldn't hear me, but I couldn't stop apologizing. The words just kept coming out of my mouth. I couldn't be sorry enough. 

I walked for hours, holding Ben against my chest. No one passed until we made it to the highway, and even then, not many people even glanced our way. Eventually, someone pulled off to the side and offered us a ride. I agreed, only because of Ben. The woman driving could only take us so far, so we ended up an hour outside of Beacon Hills, and that was if we were driving.

Despite my strength, Ben was beginning to weigh me down. I kept pushing along, trying to keep a steady pace. Ben didn't wake up the entire time, but he was breathing. We looked like a mess, all covered in blood and dirt, our clothes torn and ripped. It wasn't surprising that no one would help us, but someone should at least stop in concern for a child. Ben was going to die soon, and I kept thinking, if i get to Stiles, Ben will be okay. I kept thinking it, but it wasn't true. There wasn't another way. Stiles only said that to get me back to Beacon Hills. I was carrying around Ben to keep him alive, even though he'd be dead within a few days.

"Sir?" A car slowed beside us and a woman stuck her head out the passenger's side window. "Are you alright? Do you need a hospital?"

"We were in an accident," I managed to say, moving closer to the car. "I need to get home to my boyfriend. He has a car, he can take us to the hospital. We live in Beacon Hills, please help us." I couldn't find it in me to cry anymore. I'd been crying for the past few hours, but it did no good. 

"Get in," she said softly, unlocking the doors. I thanked her over and over as I got into the back, sliding into the seat next to a little girl. She looked scared at first, eyes wide and alarmed, but she seemed to loosen up when I smiled kindly at her. She was older than Ben, but not by much. Her dark hair framed her face and fell to her shoulders. Freckles were scattered across her nose. Her eyes were bright blue, even in the dark. She smiled back and then looked away. 

"Is he okay?" she asked later. I was still holding Ben against my chest. Sitting him down beside me wouldn't have worked very well since he was still out cold. 

"Yeah," I lied, smoothing a hand over Ben's forehead. She didn't say anything else after that. It was quiet except for the low music playing through the speakers. The hour didn't seem to pass quick enough. 

Eventually, we made it into Beacon Hills. I gave them the address and as soon as we stopped, I jumped out of the car, not bothering to watch them go as I ran to the front door. Of course it was locked. I searched around for the spare key Stiles' dad always kept under the mat, but it was missing. My last few options didn't seem very promising. I could knock, go through and possibly have to break a window, or I could break down the door. 

I had more luck with the window leading into the living room. Once inside, I laid Ben on the couch and then looked around, taking in the scene. Furniture was flipped, glass had been broken out of picture frames, and there was no sign of Stiles. I took a deep breath and moved on to the kitchen, which was also empty, but it wasn't torn apart like the living room. 

"Derek? Is that you?" Stiles called, his voice coming from upstairs. "Derek!"

I raced up the stairs as fast as I could, kicking open each door until I finally found him, sitting in the middle of the floor, hugging someone to his chest. "Stiles, what's going on?" He wasn't looking at me. His face was buried, hidden by the woman he was cradling to his body. "Is that. . . is that Lydia?"

Stiles slowly looked up. His eyes were red from crying so much. His lip trembled as he nodded. "Aaron was here," he said softly, voice breaking. He looked down at Lydia again, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know how he got to her. . . but she's-" He cut himself off with a loud sob, his face disappearing into her hair again as he cried. 

"No," I muttered, the shock starting to fade. Realization was hitting me in the face, and it was hitting hard. "No, she can't be," I whispered, kneeling down beside them. Stiles gradually pulled himself up, then moved Lydia so that her face was showing. I reached forward, touching my hand to her cheek. "She's not-" I choked out, shaking my head. "She's not." 

"Yes she is," Stiles responded, shaking his head. "She's gone. Aaron killed her."