A/N: You're going to need a hundred boxes of tissues. I apologize. Really, I do. I'm so so so sorry. I feel terrible. I suffered too, though. I cried writing this chapter. I cried so much. 

BUT DON'T WORRY BECAUSE THERE ARE PLENTY MORE CHAPTERS AND A LOT CAN HAPPEN. 

Stiles

I'd never felt this much worry in my life, and that was saying something. The numerous times I thought Derek was dead, or going to die, none of them compared to this feeling because at the moment, it wasn't just Derek. It was Derek and Ben, two of the most important people in my life and I wasn't sure if they were okay. Derek claimed that he could safely bring Ben back, but I wasn't so easily convinced. He had this look on his face that said he didn't even believe it, which wasn't a good sign. 

I waited outside Derek's apartment, tapping my foot impatiently. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know how to help. I couldn't go see my dad because I would end up falling apart and breaking down, and I didn't want him to worry any more. If he found out Ben was missing, he'd be trying to get up and out of his bed, trying to get back into his uniform to find his grandson. He didn't need to be moving around. 

The wind blew past and made me shiver. It was already cold enough without the wind chill. A few small snowflakes had even hit the ground, but they melted immediately. I wanted to bury my face in my hands and just scream, but I didn't. I took deep breaths instead, trying to calm myself. I was freezing, but I wasn't moving until I saw either Derek, or Ben. 

"Daddy?" a small voice called, somewhere near. I looked around, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Daddy, where are you?" That was Ben. I knew what Ben sounded like, and that was him. 

"Ben?" I yelled, shooting up off the ground. Ben came around the corner of the building, his face stained with tears and sweat. "Ben! Oh my God, are you okay?" I asked as I ran over to him, immediatly dropping to the ground so I could face him. His clothes were muddy and torn in places, like he'd been running from something. "What happened?"

"My other father. The bad one," he sniffed, wiping at his nose with his sleeve. "He took me somewhere and wouldn't tell me why. Then he made me leave and he said-" Ben paused, sniffing again as his tears started rolling down his cheeks. "He said he was going to kill both of you. Derek too, even though he left. He can't kill him, because he's not here. All we have to do is run away, right daddy? We can find dad, can't we?" 

I hugged him close, even though he was getting my shirt dirty with his tears and snot. It didn't really matter. All I wanted to do was comfort him. "Your dad came back last night, Ben. He left to go find you, because he loves you. He loves both of us, and I'm not going to let Aaron hurt him, okay?" Ben nodded against my shoulder and squeezed tighter. "I'll take you back to grandpa-"

"No!" Ben argued, pulling away from the hug, his eyes wide. "I wanna find my dad! I miss him, daddy. Please, let me go with you? I know where Aaron is." 

I shook my head slowly, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "Ben, you know how dangerous Aaron is. I don't want you to get hurt. You and your dad are everything to me, okay? I need you to stay safe with grandpa." I started to stand up again, but Ben tugged me back down by my sleeve. "Ben, please, just listen to me."

"I can't," he argued, shaking his head. "I'll be safer with you guys. You can protect me, and I'll stay out of the way. I'll take you to where he is and then I'll hide, so he can't see me."

"He'll smell you, Ben," I retaliated, still shaking my head. He just stood there for a second, and I thought I had won, until his bottom lip popped out and big tears rolled down his cheeks. "Aw, come on! Don't do that! I'm trying to keep you safe!" I said, attempting to wipe away the tears, but more replaced them anyways. "Ben, please don't cry!" 

"Daddy, I wanna go with you," he sobbed, sitting down and burying his face in his tiny hands. "P-Please!"

I sighed heavily in defeat and scooped Ben up into my arms. "Alright, fine. But you're staying in the car with the doors locked. Do you understand me?" Ben hugged my neck and nodded qucikly. "You're good at getting your way. Did you know that?" He looked at me with a slight grin on his face as he nodded again. I sighed and put him in the front seat, even though that was bad parenting. "Don't tell dad I let you ride in the front, and I won't tell him you guilt tripped me. Deal?"

Ben smiled as I buckled him in and pulled it as tight as I could. "Deal."

+++

"Here!" Ben yelled, pointing to a small building as I pressed down on the break. I threw my arm over him to make sure he wouldn't get hurt, and then quickly shut of the ignition. "Be careful, daddy. I love you. Save dad, okay?" he said, leaning over to throw his arms around me. 

I smiled softly, squeezing him back. "I love you too, Ben. Stay here and don't move, alright? I'll be back soon." Ben nodded as I pulled away from him and opened my door to step outside. "Keep the doors locked. If anyone comes near, just hide."

"I will," Ben promised, squeezing my hand one last time. I reluctantly let go and locked the door before slamming it shut. With a deep breath, I turned towards the building and started to run. I was far enough away that it left me a winded by the time I reached the place, so I leaned against the corner and caught my breath for a second and thought about what I was doing. I didn't think before because I only knew that Derek was in trouble. What if he wasn't even in there though? This could've been a trap and then I would be walking right into Aaron's hands. 

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. I made my decision to do whatever it took to save Derek, even if that meant running blindly into a building where I could potentially be turned into a supernatural creature, or even die. I never said it was my best idea, but it was my only choice. I took one more large breath and then stood firmly in front of the door, ready to open it. This was probably going to end badly, but I couldn't let anything happen to Derek. Even after what he put me through, leaving twice and telling me he wouldn't come back, I just couldn't do the same to him. I couldn't leave him. 

"Stiles!" Derek's voice made me drop my hand from the doorknob and turn around. I sighed in relief. "What are you doing here? You told me you were going to stay at my place and wait until I called, but. . . you're here before me. How are you here?"

"Ben came back. He said Aaron was here and he was going to kill you, and I thought you were already here and I thought Aaron had you and I-" I trailed off because I couldn't form the words anymore. I was just happy he was alive and overwhelmed with all of these feelings because I thought I was going to die in there, or I thought Derek would already be dead by the time I found him. 

"Stiles, I'm fine," he assured me, smiling softly as he took a small step towards me. Then he turned his head towards the direction I came, his eyebrows drawing together. "Ben's here? You brought him here?" 

"Dad! You're here!" he yelled, a huge grin on his face as he ran towards us. But then suddenly, his smile started to fade and he came to a subtle halt, stopping several yards away. His eyes were wide as he opened his mouth and screamed, "No! Watch out!"

I didn't really know what was happening, between Ben screaming and the man running towards Derek from behind. I was in a sort of trance, not knowing what to do, or where to move to. Before I knew what Aaron was doing, there was a sword through Derek and the love of my life was laying on the ground surrounded by a pool of his own blood. 

"Ben, run!" I screamed, suddenly back to reality. If Ben hadn't been there, I wouldn't fallen to the ground next to Derek, begged Aaron to kill me too, but I couldn't leave Ben. He deserved a future. "Ben, I said go!" I yelled again as I ran towards him. He wouldn't move. He just stood there, screaming and sobbing, reaching for Derek, but I couldn't let Aaron get to him. I picked him up and kept running, even with Ben wriggling to get out of my grasp. I just held him tighter and tighter. 

"He's dead! Daddy, he's dead!" Ben cried, pounding his fist on my back as I ran. "Let me go back! LET ME SEE HIM!" I kept running, blinking back the tears, fighting the sobs. I came to a forceful stop at the jeep and flung the door open, forcing Ben inside and in his seat. He fought me the whole time, until I had the seat belt on him. I slammed the door and climbed into the driver's side, starting the car and quickly pulling out onto the road. I started driving and I didn't stop. Ben continued screaming, yelling, kicking. He wouldn't stop. I didn't blame him. 

+++

*one week later*

"I don't wanna go back to school yet," Ben sniffed, rubbing at his eyes with his tiny fists. He had cried himself out the past six days, so now he was just depressed, missing Derek. So was I. It wasn't like I knew he was alive and out there like before. I could handle that, but I couldn't handle him being dead. I acted like I was handling it, but only for Ben. I hadn't even worked up the nerve to tell anyone else. I had been dodging Kara and Scott's calls. I hadn't been to see my dad. I just spent all my time with Ben and cried myself to sleep after I put him to bed. I tried to have hope that Derek wasn't dead, and that he would just show up one night, but he never did. After so many days, I gave up. If he was alive, he would've been back by now. 

"You have to, Ben. If you don't, I'll get in trouble. Kindergarten is important to your education. You'll do just fine today. If you need me, all you have to do is tell your teacher you want to call me. I'll be right there, okay? But try, for me. Try to make it through the day. I'll be there to pick you up as soon as that bell rings." I knelt down in front of him and squeezed his shoulders. "You're such a strong kid. I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"

Ben sniffed again and caught a tear with his thumb. "I know, daddy. I love you too." He took a breath and wrapped his arms around me. "I just miss him. I didn't get to say goodbye."

"I know, I miss him too. He would want you to be good and go to school though." I pulled away from him and stood up straight, taking his hand in mine. "Come on. Your bus will be here any minute now." Ben nodded softly and tightened his grip on his backpack. We walked outside together and waited at the curb until the bus came to a slow stop in front of us. Ben hugged my side tightly and I kissed the top of his head. "I love you. I'll see you after school." I gently pushed him forward and watched him step up onto the bus. I waited until it was out of sight before ambling back inside. I fell back against the door, slid to the floor, and buried my face in my hands to cry.