Every part of my body hurt. I knew the feeling all too well and I hated every minute of it. The last time I felt like this, I spiraled.

I fell into a deep and dark depression filled with narcotics and bad decisions. I was scared I was going to fall back into that pattern.

Colby was so supportive though, the way he was holding me closely.

It hurt my heart that he had to help me through something like this. I blamed him for a lot of things in the past, including my last miscarriage.

This wasn't his fault though.

He didn't know the torture I had gone through, and he wasn't the reason I was pregnant to begin with.

I was grateful that he was here for me though.

The next couple days after I took that pill were difficult.

My body was in so much pain and my heart was hurting. I was fighting a monster inside of me, one that wanted to find a pain pill or twelve.

Colby didn't keep drugs at his apartment though. He knew I would crack and take anything, so as long as I was here, he was going to keep drugs out of this house.

"Sam and Kat should be getting here soon." Colby said as I put my hood up, snuggling into the couch a little more.

Sam and Kat were coming to stay with us for a little while so Colby could get some work done.

He has been trying to get back into the swing of working but it seemed impossible while I was so fucked up.

"Are you going to work tonight?" I asked quietly as he put a glass of water in front of me.

"Yeah, I have a lot of work to do." He said with a sigh and sat next to me. "I don't want you to go." I said quietly, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I know, sweetheart. I wish I could stay here with you." He said and wrapped his arm around me. "Promise me you'll be safe." I said and looked up at him. "I promise." He said then kissed my head.

"Aren't you scared that people are after you?" I asked as he chuckled.

"There's always someone after me, darling." He hummed. I frowned then laid my head on his chest as someone knocked on the door.

I flinched at the noise, even though I knew it was probably Sam and Kat.

"I'll get it." Colby said then stood up. When he went to go get the door, I felt another jolt of pain in my abdomen.

I've been going through a lot of those sorts of jolts but Nate said it was completely normal. I would be going through a lot of pain for a little while.

"Hey, guys." Colby said as he opened the door. "When are you gonna get a bigger place?" Kat asked causing Colby to laugh.

"Nice to see you too, Katrina." Colby said as she flipped him off.

"Hey, Jules! How are you feeling?" Kat asked as Sam brought their bags into the room. "I'm alright." I said quietly.

"Heard you were hurting so we brought you some chocolate." Sam said and help up a chocolate bar.

"Thank you." I said with a sigh as Colby grabbed his jacket. "I will be back later tonight." He said then walked over me.

"Call me if you need me. I love you." He said then kissed me. "I love you, too. Please be safe." I said and brought my hand to his cheek.

"I will be." He said then sighed. "Call me if anything happens." Colby said to Sam. "He's not going with you?" I asked as he shook his head.

"No, he's staying here with you." He said simply then grabbed his keys. "Keep her safe." He said to Sam then left the apartment.

"He's always so dramatic." Kat said with a laugh. "For good reason." Sam said and sat down. "Are you guys hungry?" I asked and stood up. "Actually, yeah." Sam said as I nodded and made my way to the kitchen.

"I can try to make you something." I said as another sharp pain filled my stomach causing me to stumble.

"Are you okay?" Kat asked with concern as I nodded. "I took that pill and uh...yeah." I said quietly then opened the cabinet.

"We don't have much. I'm sure Colby won't mind buying you guys some food." I said with a sigh and made my way back over to the couch.

"He owes us." Kat said with a laugh. "Here's his card." I said then handed it to Sam so he could order food.

"Bold of you to assume that I don't have his information saved in my postmates account." Sam said with a grin.

"Sneaky, I like it." I said with a sigh then started picking my nails.

"Everything okay?" Kat asked quietly. "I talked to Will the other day..and he said some stuff that's been freaking me out." I explained, looking down.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked with concern. "He was saying that my father always finishes his missions, even if he's dead." I mumbled.

"People are going to find him and kill him." I said and finally looked up at Sam. "Try not to worry, Jules. He's been through this sort of thing before." Sam said then put his hand over mine.

"He shouldn't be alone." I whimpered, letting my emotions take over. "He's a lot more lethal than even you think." He said with a sigh.

"Especially now that you're here and fighting to recover, he's gonna take every precaution in the book." He said as I shook my head.

"Has he told you anything? Like what his plan is and what he's doing?" I asked as he shook his head.

"A little bit but not really." He said as I sighed and leaned back into the couch.

"Enough worrying about him, he's gonna be fine." Kat said as she took Sam's phone. "We're gonna order food and hang out until he gets back." She said then started ordering some food.

I felt myself slightly shutting down, knowing that Colby was probably putting himself in danger.

Colby never took threats as seriously as he should have. I understood he was strong and capable but he needed to take things more seriously.

If Will was right, then Colby was in a lot of trouble.

Kat, Sam, and I ordered food then ended up watching a movie. I was having a hard time focusing and my anxiety was really starting to get the best of me.

I was doing a really good job at being more social, hiding less frequently but I needed some alone time after a little while.

I needed a moment to just let myself break a little bit.

"I'll be back." I mumbled then went towards the bedroom. "Oh..okay." Sam said cautiously. I know he knew more about my recovery than Kat did and he knew I was probably going to hide.

I'm glad he didn't stop me though.

When I got into the bedroom I sat on the bed, taking a deep breath. My heart was racing, a panic attack slowly rising within me.

Logically I knew I was safe even though Colby wasn't here. Sam wouldn't let anything happen to me but for whatever reason my brain was making me feel unsafe.

What if Colby was convinced by someone to let them take me again?

What if he sold me himself?

What if my father was still alive?

"Jules?" Sam asked as he knocked on the door quietly. I whimpered and covered my face with my hands, trying to muffle the sobs.

"I'm coming in." He said then opened the door. "Hey...it's okay Jules." Sam said and came to sit next to me.

"I'm so proud of you, you've take such big steps since I've seen you last." He said and hugged me. "I'm sick of being scared." I cried as he nodded.

"I can't even imagine how you've been feeling. You're so strong though." He said as I sniffled and wiped my tears.

"What time is Colby coming back?" I asked and picked at my nails. "I'll call him." He said then grabbed his phone.

"Why don't you come sit with Kat?" He asked as I nodded.

"I just needed a minute." I said and stood up. "Understandable." Sam said then brought his phone to his ear as we walked back to the living room.

"He didn't answer. Don't worry too much though, he's probably just busy." Sam said as I sat next to Kat.

"He'll call back." Kat said then handed me my glass of water.

I was so happy to be surrounded by two people who were so gentle and patient. They knew I was probably acting a little crazy, but didn't make me feel bad about it.

We ended up hanging out for a long time with no word from Colby.

I was trying my hardest to stay calm but I couldn't help the instant panic I felt when I saw the sun rising outside and Colby nowhere in sight.