Chapter 8: The Meeting 

I killed someone. I mouthed the words, testing them with my lips. The room was quiet. Still.  I could hear the whirring of the fan; that was all I could hear, and the only thing I wanted to hear. 

I killed someone. 

Adan and Hollie were outside. I asked them to leave. I needed the silence. 

My eyes were dazed at the back of my two blood-stained hands. But all I could see was his dead gaze staring back at me, and his red-painted face filled with hate, remorse and fear. "I killed someone," I said. My mind paused as I felt the words ring in the air. There were tears welling in my eyes. Though, they weren't shed. I had no right to let them be shed. 

My memory was a blur haze; scattered visions flashing spontaneously. A gaping window, then crowded streets, and then the hard panting of my breath. The wind was blowing fast on my face, a euphoric kind of fast. The man was walking next to a little girl; blonde-haired, wide-eyed, face as fresh as a flower. I remembered their laughter. Happy sweet giggles from the little one. Next thing I could think of was the strong undying thirst gnawing at my throat; then Adan's voice, before the sight of the still body of a dead man lying in a puddle of red. 

That man had a family, people he loved, a father—just like the one that raised me. 

"I brought you some water," a worried voice said. When had Hollie entered? I didn't hear the clicking of the door. "I'm hoping that it'd help." 

"The man had a daughter, if he were a thug then maybe-- " I shook my head. "No it'd be the same." 

Hollie sat in the bed and placed her hands on my shoulder. "Look at me Lyn," she was frowning, her expression sad. "You're taking this too hard on yourself; this kind thing; let it go. If you work yourself down with every single kill like this, you're not going to live very long." She tried to show me a reassuring smile. 

"You're talking as if it's normal." 

"It is." 

Her response was sickening. 

I stood up and glared at her. 

"HE'S DEAD. He's never coming back. And his daughter isn't going to see him ever again. He probably had a wife, parents, friends, all sorts of people that loved him too. How do you think they're feeling right now? I took him away from them! ME. It's normal? Tell that to their faces." I shouted at Hollie, perhaps even spitted at her. She didn't try to hold me down, or shout back at me. She simply looked down solemnly, nodding at my words. 

"I'm a monster now, a real one," I whispered. There was silence; the words sank in slowly. 

"You are a demon," Hollie said as she took in a deep breath. "This is your world now, accept it." 

"I don't want to. Why did you even make me one in the first place?" 

She bit her lip and frowned. "To protect you. Because we didn't want you to die." 

"Protect?" 

"Other people are going to hunt you down now, because the first part of the prophecy is coming true," she sighed. "Adan and I aren't going to be there all the time to defend you; if you don't get strong enough, you'll die." 

There were more monsters coming after me? 

"What is this prophecy anyway?" I said, demanding an answer. "It's ruining everything." 

"Now's not the time Lyn," she rubbed her forehead and made her way towards the door. 

"This prophecy is killing me! And I don't have the right to know?" I yelled. Since when did I become this angry at everything? 

"I know, I want to tell you." She looked so remorseful; it made me feel bad for her. "But I can't. Adan said not yet." 

Adan. He was the one that dragged me away from all this. He took me away from my life once I felt it getting slightly better, just when Jason gave me a glimpse of normalcy once more. If I wanted to kill anybody it'd be him. But no, that'd be wrong; everyone deserved to live. Though, he was vile. And every single cell in my body still hated him and wished for his demise. 

"How do you kill a demon?" I murmured, before covering my mouth when I realized that it wasn't the wisest thing to say in front of Hollie. 

She frowned at me. "Why do want to know?" 

"I didn't mean it," I said, averting her gaze.    

"Dawn," she said, looking at me. She looked contemplative, her eyes narrowed. "Stronger demons can only be killed at dawn. The holy hours make them weak and mortal, though their strengths are reinstated after that." 

"Why are you telling me this?"

 "I know what you're thinking Lyn. You didn't forget did you?" Hollie gave me an uncertain, crooked smile, pointing coyly to her head as she did. "You either severe their heads or rip out their hearts." 

"Then you know that I was thinking of killing Adan," I said. 

"You can't, not even at dawn. There is only one person on this planet that can and it's not you." I noticed a subtle flash of yearning across her face. "For older demons, anytime before Dawn, they're bodies would be too hard to even cut or pierce through."

"You?" 

She nodded her head slowly. 

"And Adan?" 

"Even at dawn, he's still too strong for the most of us." She shook her head. "You shouldn't want to kill him. You're mates." 

"I'd rather die than be his mate." I thought about all that happened since I met him so far. Everything had been disastrous. 

"I've known him for more than a millennium. He's not that bad of a person." 

"You're just blinded cause you've followed him for so long,” I mumbled, scolding her but at the same time not being very sure of myself. “Adan is a monster, and if you’re with him then you’re a disgusting monster too. You’re all monsters that dragged me into this world I never wanted to be a part of.” 

“I hate you,” I said, trying to assert myself. My heart sank but I continued anyway. “I hate the both of you.” 

My gaze was shifted away from her eyes. I was unsure of my words; they didn’t feel right at all. I shouldn't have said them. I knew that I shouldn't have right after I said them. But the words kept flooding out the moment I started. I just really wanted to vent on something; to channel all my hate and disdain for myself against someone else. 

Hollie took a step back and parted her lips slightly, wanting to say something. She looked hurt. But instead, she bit her lip and tried to smile. She then shrugged and gazed down, before turning away and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 

There was only one person less but the room felt so much emptier. Perhaps it was the guilt that did it. 

I didn’t hate her. I couldn’t, not one bit. She was the closest thing I had to a friend since a long time ago. I hoped she understood that I didn’t mean what I said. My emotions were simply getting the better of me. 

A sudden shot of grief hit me. Nothing like I ever felt before. The world felt so much different ever since I changed, like anything and everything could spark huge mood swings. 

I wanted to hit something; get physical. To rid myself of all that negative emotions. I clenched my fist; a feeling of heat and chills pooled around it— rage and sadness. 

This wasn’t right. Trying to control myself, I gritted my teeth, and focused on my breathing. It barely worked. If anything, it only became harder and louder. I could hear my breaths clearly. They increased together with my heightened emotions. I closed my eyes, trying to visualize a serene place. Control. The place was calming, with rushing fountains and the freshest flowers and greens. The sight was working, until the image of the little girl popped up. 

She was sitting on a bench, crying for the loss of her father. 

That was it.   

My fist flung against the wall. It nearly helped, the emotions left with the one huge movement. I sighed with content, feeling slightly better as a small load lifted from my chest. But almost instantly a larger load took its place. I stared at the destroyed wall. A mass of ice emerged from where I punched, and a web of cracks radiated around it, the crevices burnt. 

I was scared. I stood still in front of the damages I made, not sure what I thought of them. All I knew was that I didn't like that I was the one that made them; the thought created an odd feeling in my guts. 

"Whoa." Adan whistled. He was the last person I wanted to see or hear right now. "Somebody's been angry." 

"Go away Adan." 

He ignored me and came sauntering into the room. "Maybe after you apologize, this is my apartment you know?" He gestured at the cracked wall. "Just kidding, but I am going to have to fix that. You should learn how to reel in your emotions. It's for the better." 

"Then maybe you should just get rid of me and send me home!" I ignited a spark of fire and the floors beneath him crackled. 

Adan calmly took a quick smooth step away from the burnt floor. "See, this is what I meant by reeling in your emotions." 

"I meant to do that," I lied. 

"Whatever," he said, waving a dismissive hand. "Pack up your things, we're leaving." 

We were leaving? Adan thought that he could drag me around like a little puppet. Maybe I could be, considering that I was completely weak next to him and Hollie, but I wasn't going to go down without a fight, even if all I could muster up right now was an argument. 

"I'm staying here." 

Adan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Can't you just be obedient for once? I mean, it'd hurt less if you were. You could just make my life slightly easier." 

"No," I said, trying to sound firm with my words. 

"Why not?" He groaned in frustration, at the same time making an exasperated hand gesture. 

"Because, I need to get used to my new body first." 

"You could get used to it somewhere else," Adan said, he was starting to sound increasingly annoyed. 

"And I need to find a girl." I needed to find her. To make sure that she was okay. It was impossible to make up for what I did; taking away her father. But if I didn't do anything to help my conscience would eat away at me for the rest of eternity.

 "Girl?" 

"The girl of the father I murdered." 

He furrowed his brows and walked over to the couch. "You shouldn't care about these things," he said, throwing himself onto the seat with a heavy motion. "You're not one of them now. Think of them as like..." He looked up at the ceiling, thinking of a word. "You probably won't find this nice to hear, but think of them as livestock, born for the sole purpose of feeding us." 

I stared at him with disgust apparent on my face. 

Adan shrugged. "It’s just a suggestion. I have some human friends too." He said the word "friends" with a tone of sarcasm; they were probably more of his tools. "But that way of thinking normally helps." 

"I was a human too, or at least lived like one; and I still want to live like one until the end of my life," I spat at him, squinting my eyes and speaking with a harsh tone, trying to seem as intimidating as possible. "Until you took everything away." 

"Hey, there wasn't much to take away; you were a total outcast, nobody liked y—" 

"BUT AT LEAST I was still human!" I said, stepping forward and pointing at my chest. "I still had my mother and father. How am I supposed to return, now that I have this face? How am I supposed to return now that I'VE KILLED SOMEONE." I was feeling like I was going to explode once more. Reel them in, I told myself. 

"You took away all that I've ever known," I said, shrinking. "I'm not even called by my own name anymore." 

"Don't blame me for your recklessness," he said, raising his hands into a defensive gesture. "It was you that decided carry out some Houdini act on us." 

"But you were the one that turned me into this." I shouted at him. 

Adan growled."For your sake! I'm sure Hollie had already told you why. If you continued staying in your so called 'paradise' without us being there to help, you would have died!" His face was contorted by anger. I'd never seen him angry before. I almost whimpered in fear. A strong tension spread around the room, pushing me down. It weakened my legs, making me feel like crashing down. 

"Then maybe you should have left me to die! I'd rather do so than be tortured by the likes of you." My knees were already bent from the pressure; the words were a struggle to say.  

Adan growled again as a warning, but I continued anyway, "you don't understand what you've done to me. Burn in hell! You're a MONSTER that never cares about how I think or feel, or how I want to live, I HATE YOU. You've ruined my life and I HATE Y—" 

It happened so fast. There was a large impact on my back that made it ache. I was pressed against the cracked, concrete wall; the cold of the crystal ice was felt on my arm and the defined edges of the cracks could be easily felt through the fabric of my shirt. Adan was right in front of me, propping his body up with his arm that was against the wall. 

"Stop being a selfish little brat." I could feel his breath on mine. His voice sounded different, darker, and colder. "You don't care for anybody else's feelings do you? Hollie was trying to keep herself from crying and you don't even hesitate telling me how much you disgust me." 

I stared at him, wide-eyed and too afraid to move. I could feel the pressure of the room press down on me as tensions rose. "I do," I squeaked, praying that he would leave me alone. 

"Your life isn't yours to throw away because it's more important than the garbage you think you are." Adan's eyes were blackening, and could see blue lines fade in around them. I placed my hands over my mouth, trying to muffle my scream. "Do you honestly think that I'd let you? After all the trouble I've went through to prevent your death? Do you have any idea how much I panicked last night when you went missing?"

I shook my head as a response.

"You don't ei?" He sneered. "You don't because all you ever do is think about yourself and all your misery. I think that it is high time you wake up; your attitude is annoying me like hell." 

Adan wrapped his hand around my throat, getting carried away by his accusations. My head was starting to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen. It was becoming increasingly harder to breath. "Y-you're choking me," I coughed, hoping that he'd release me. It was ironic how his very action made him look like he wanted to kill me. 

His expression softened, though it was obvious that he was still mad. He withdrew his hand and let me fall to the ground. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. Adan's words did have a degree of truth, but no way in hell was I going to accept them this easily, or make it so obvious that I did even if I agreed. I smoothed my hands over my neck to feel my wounds. There were three scratches around them, caused by Adan's fingernails digging into my skin. 

"Come over here," Adan sighed and his body slackened. I hesitantly shifted towards him, trying to be obedient. He scooped down towards me and held my chin, tilting my head side to side in order to inspect my wounds. "Well it’s not so bad." Though, he did sound slightly remorseful.

He bent down towards my neck; I was pretty sure that he wanted to lick my wounds again. 

"I think I'll let them heal on their own," I said, moving backwards trying to distant myself from him. The last attempt he tried to heal my wounds ended up terribly. 

"It might cause scars." He blatantly ignored whatever I said and dived closer to the nape of my neck. I yelped and shut my eyes closed, remembering the horrible experience of that night. I had expected a large painful bite, but all I felt were a few small, soothing licks that flicked quickly over the scratches. It didn't hurt, just tickled a bit. A cool sensation lingered over the closed wounds.

Still, during the whole experience, I tensed my body expecting a sudden pain. When he was finished, Adan simply raised his head and looked at me. "Better?" he asked. I nodded my head, too afraid to speak. His voice was raspy and his eyes were completely blackened with hunger. I wrapped my hands over my neck, still trying to protect it. But Adan was completely interested in something else. 

His face was only inches away from mine, and his dazzling blue eyes were looking into mine, holding me in a short trance. They wandered lower, exploring my face. I could hear my breath quicken, and my heart beat faster. His eyes stopped at where I was hoping they wouldn't— my lips. 

And then, he kissed me.

It was nothing like the sweet kisses that Jason gave me. Adan’s kiss was hard and possessive, like that of a true demon. His hand was pressed at the back of my head, pulling me in closer. At first, I kept pushing against his chest, but soon my mind went blank. My form sunk into his, and I allowed him to pull me in deeper. I kept telling myself to reject him, and that I had to find the act disgusting, but I allowed him to pull on my play strings. 

It felt like the kiss went on for an eternity; the entire thing was an internal battle of what I should have felt. When Adan finally freed me, my feelings had numbed into a full emotion of shock. He looked at me with a daze. 

"I need some fresh air," I whispered. I was panting heavily. "I'll be back I promise."

I ran up to the rooftop, fleeing the scene. I looked out at the bustling city. The streets were full with busy pedestrians, rushing out for their afternoon shifts, shopping, or heading for lunch. There was a noisy traffic jam; the drivers kept pushing on their horns, though it didn't seem to help them get any faster. 

I tried to get lost in all the city mess; to let my mind drift. But all I could think of was how Adan's lips felt when they touched mine, and how I wanted to get rid of those thoughts so that I could hate him— just like I did before.