Harry's POV

"You're not mad at me too, right?" I asked cautiously from the bedroom doorway. Louis had definitely been mad at me, although I got nothing of the heat Naomi had just gotten. Naomi was mad at me, I thought. It had been a little unclear through the sobbing. She had asked me to leave immediately following Lux's departure. Lux had tried to talk to her but ended up deciding to go when Naomi had closed herself in the bedroom. I'd been a little more persistent but truthfully Lux was Naomis friend first. If she couldn't help then I was absolutely just making it worse. I had sent one text to Louis but it was safe to say I wasn't his favorite person at the moment.

Lux was sitting on top of the sheets on our bed staring intently at me. She didn't look angry, but she didn't look pleased. She already wore a long shirt for bed, her bare legs sitting crisscrossed. "You're causing problems for mom and dad."

"I'm not causing problems," I argued. I didn't even have it in myself to laugh at the pet name the both of us had given our friends upstairs. "You know as well as I do that they're sinking their own ship."

"But you're involved. We agreed to stay out of whatever it is they've got imploding up there. They've got to figure it out themselves." Lux sounded tired. We were all tired. Louis and Naomis relationship was so exhausting, even just watching it was tiring. They were both trying so hard to stay afloat. Oliver just complicated things further.

"I just wanted to help her feel better," I said feeling a wave of sadness break over me. It was so hard watching them be so unhappy. I couldn't help but sympathize with Naomi. Her mental health was something I could totally relate to. I had so much experience in that area that I felt like an expert. And watching Louis stress about it all was killing me. I just wanted them to be okay. "I'm tired of watching Louis make sad music."

"I know," Lux said annoyed. "I miss living upstairs. They seemed to do well when they could use us as a buffer."

We couldn't do that. That's one of the reasons we knew we had to move. They had the baby. They had to work together. They had to be able to communicate. I couldn't be Louis focus. Lux couldn't force inappropriate laughter at dinner to break up an argument. We had moved because I needed the independence of having my own place, but also because we had started to realize that our contribution to the harmony of Louis house was detrimental.

Lux rose from the bed and approached me, stopping just a foot away. She grabbed my hand gently. "So let's talk about the friend you ran into instead."

I stiffened. In everything, I'd forgotten how loose lipped Louis had gotten at breakfast.

"It was just someone I used to know," I lied. I immediately hated myself for lying, but the words came automatically. I wasn't a liar. Not to Lux anyways. When it came to Cory though, I didn't even know who I was. I didn't recognize myself in relation to her. She embodied everything I didn't want to think about.

"That's vague."

"I know," I admitted. "I'm sorry. They just... it was a darker time back then. Every time a part of that life comes back to me I have to process it all again."

That was a perfectly evasive answer. I'd be proud of its craftsmanship if it didn't leave such a sour taste of dishonesty on my tongue. I hadn't even planned to be untruthful with Lux. I was surprising myself.

Lux made an understanding face. "You would tell me if it was something I needed to worry about?"

I nodded. "Always."

That was the truth. Right? Because I didn't plan on talking to Cory. I wasn't even sure I planned on going back to that support group, although I'd have to explain myself to Louis one way or another.

"Good," she said sounding relieved. I realized that without me noticing she'd gotten much closer. Now that she was apparently done lecturing me she was staring at my face with that silly little seductive smile of hers. She had allowed the oversized tshirt she wore to fall off of her shoulder. "We botched the unsellable sale today."

"Shame," I said smirking.

"Yeah. Shame," She agreed. Then she leaned in and kissed my neck. "Wanna help me feel better?"

So she definitely wasn't that mad at me.

Naomis POV

I had never been away from Oliver for more than a couple of minutes. Louis was only gone for a little over an hour. I resisted the urge to call him. I didn't deserve to hear his concerned voice flooding through the speaker. He would be concerned for sure too. His anger, although muted, had been raw and real but I knew it would be fleeting. He was not an angry person. That had just been his breaking point. If anything, knowing that just made me feel more guilty because that meant he'd just be sitting on feelings of remorse for me that I didn't deserve.

I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. Louis was right about everything. I was being a terrible partner and I wasn't considering him at all.

That's what was on my mind as I laid on his side of the bed in the dark crying. I was curled up on my side staring at the wall trying to avoid looking at the door just waiting for him to come back.

"Nay," his voice permeated my thinking. I didn't look up for a moment, but I heard his feet padding on the carpet. I was right. His voice was much more gentle than before.

I felt the bed shift as he sat on it behind me. He placed a careful hand on the back of my head, smoothing my hair down in a calming way. He could tell I was crying.

"I don't want your sympathy," I said on a shaky voice.

"Nay," he repeated a little more firm. "Don't do this."

"I didn't purposely exclude you," I said carefully. "I didn't think—"

"I know that," he cut me off. "Obviously I know that. You're not a vindictive person. You wouldn't do that."

"I just didn't think," I muttered.

I pushed myself into a sitting position and turned to face him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with Oliver in his lap. Oliver was awake and playing with one of Louis fingers, while Louis attention stayed fixed on me. When Louis saw my attention drift on to the baby, he offered him my direction. He knew I wasn't actually ready to be away from him. That's why he'd only stayed out for a brief time. Even while angry he was accommodating me. I cautiously pulled him my way despite the dampness working it's way down my cheeks.

"I just changed his diaper," Louis added as a change of subject. "He enjoyed our walk. I promise nobody took pictures of us although there are plenty of pictures of you at the zoo today online. Harry was probably a little too high profile for zoo date if you were hoping to go unnoticed. Next time, I'll call ahead and they'll let you in before they open."

I nodded with my lip wavering. "Harry took some pictures for you to see of him as well."

Louis nodded like the thought made him sad.

"I don't want to hurt you," I forced the words out as if they were painful to speak.

Louis just nodded again. "I know."

"I just wanted to get out of this house and when Harry suggested it I didn't even think... it was so stupid. And then I didn't call..." I hugged Oliver to my chest trying to keep myself from sobbing again. Oliver looked up at my face with the piercing blue Tomlinson eyes of his. He was so innocent and unconcerned. He didn't even know how perilous his parents had become to each other.

Louis blinked hard. Instead of responding to what I was saying he said "Naomi I'm worried about you. All the time. I don't even know what to say to you to help anymore."

I nodded. "I know."

"I need you to figure out what you need," he breathed. "I need you do do this with me."

"I know."

Louis dropped my hand that I hadn't even noticed him holding and rose from the bed. "Harry texted and told me we have leftovers in the fridge," he murmured quietly. "Please eat something."

Then he walked out of the room and headed off somewhere down the hall. A moment later, the soft sound of his piano started its melody through the house. I didn't recognize what he was playing, but it sounded sad.

Instead of eating, I fed Oliver and then settled on the floor with him to watch him play with some colorful blocks. Oliver seemed oblivious to the tension in our house. He was such a happy baby. He loved us both so much. Louis had been such a good Dad. It was like it came to him so naturally. I wasn't even sure I was a good Mum. I was tired all the time and almost never knew what to do if he cried. I would just guess until something felt right. Wasn't I supposed to know what he needed by now? Wasn't there some switch in my brain that was supposed to flip once he was born? The maternal instincts were just supposed to kick in?

Instead, since he'd been born, I just felt like a fish out of water. I spent more time staring at his happy giggling face than I did actually knowing how to take care of him. If he had any complaints, he wasn't letting on though. He was the worlds happiest baby by all measures. Still, if it wasn't for Harry's obsession with my child, I'd be drowning.

When the baby had been born initially, I'd felt great about it all. The euphoria had carried me. Louis had been home with us full time. We'd made trips during the first month to both my parents homes and to Doncaster to see Jay and the girls. I'd met Louis other two sisters and Harry had accompanied us although he had been avoiding looking at Oliver back then. Things had been great. I felt like I knew what I was doing. I felt so secure that I'd even hid in the bathroom and manipulated Harry into handling the baby for the first time so he'd stop being so afraid.

Then Louis went back to work and I realized that I was right back where I'd been when I was pregnant. Home alone and waiting for him to come back. I felt like less of a person, all the sudden. Things had just gone down hill from there. Then my confidence had died, replaced by feelings of frustration and inadequacy and anxiety.

I knew in that moment while looking at Oliver on the floor smiling at me that if Louis had done what I'd done that day, I would have lost it. I would have blown up a hundred fold compared to what he'd done. There would have been no calm discussion.

Less than a year ago, Louis ex band mate Niall had told me that none of us would ever deserve Louis. He was too good. He was too caring and compassionate and pure. This is exactly what he meant.

It was only 8 pm when I had this revelation but I still scooped up the baby, fed him again, bathed him and put him down to sleep. Louis liked to say goodnight to him too but I didn't have it in me to trudge down the hall to his music room, so I texted him that the baby was down and then walked myself to bed. I pretended to be asleep when he climbed in beside me shortly after. That didn't stop him from murmuring a soft, "I love you," into the darkness that I didn't deserve.