I didn't watch them perform today. Instead, I was told to take a shower. While I'm in the shower, I let my mind wander.
Should I talk to Camila? Should I tell her everything? Or, part of it? I don't know. The background that she wants to hear are things I've never said to anyone else. I haven't ever really spoken to Taylor about it. She probably has an idea, since we go to the same school, but I've never really talked to her about it. It was always part of the 'do not bring up' list. I don't know. It would be nice to finally tell someone about it, but can I trust her? Oh, who am I kidding. It's Camila. Who is she going to tell? She just wants to get to know me more. She has good intentions and she's always been there for me. Fine, I'll tell her. It's for the best.
Once I'm out of the shower, I spend the rest of my time thinking of what to say to Camila.
The show finally ends and Camila is the first to take a shower. Once she's done, I go up to her.
"Hey, can I-I talk to you?" I quietly ask.
"Yeah, shoot." she says, as she walks to her suitcase to put her clothes away.
"Can I talk to you privately?"
She looks at me suspiciously for a moment before saying, "Yeah, let's head to the bus."
We walk out of the room and head to the parking lot with our suitcases.
We get inside and head to the back. I sit down and Camila asks, while she puts some of her stuff away, "So, what did you want to talk to me about Monkey?"
God, I'm so nervous now. What if she judges me. What if she hates me?
My breathing begins to get heavy. I try to catch my breath, but I can't.
I try to speak, ignoring my trouble to breathe, "W-well, I-I j-just -"
Camila stops putting her stuff away and looks up at me, "Hey, you okay?"
She walks up to me, kneels in front of me and caresses my arm to soothe me. "You don't need to be nervous Monkey. You can tell me anything. You know that. Remember the promise we made?"
She's referring to the time we went to the diner the morning after my adoption.
I smile a little and nod.
She smiles back at me, "Good, then tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours."
"Well, you know how a few days ago you asked about my background? I-I think I'm ready to tell you a little."
Her smile gets bigger, "Really Sky? That's amazing. But, should we wait for the girls? I think they'll want to hear this."
"I'll tell them later. I just need to tell someone. This is something no one knows about. And, I just need to get off my chest.
"Okay, I'm all ears," she gets up and sits besides me on the couch.
"Well, the kids at school didn't always hate me. They all used to love me, but I got involved with the wrong people and, well, things got messed up. People started to hate me because of my actions and what I did. I don't blame them. I would hate me too."
"Wait, who did you get involved with?"
"Well, okay umm, promise you won't hate me or judge me for this?"
She gives me a sad glance, "Skylar, you know I would never hate or judge you. You can talk to me about anything."
I smile a little and say, "Thanks Mila. So, basically in 6th grade I met this guy named Carter and when I saw him it was instant love for me. I know it sounds cliche, but something about him drew me towards him. I didn't really know who he was. I just liked the way he acted, his personality, and, well as shallow as it may sound, how he looked... I felt so strongly about him that I left Kevin, this amazing human being, for him. I know how bad this sounds, but I swear, I'm not a cheater or a player. I-I just fell for someone who was just messing with my head. I fell for someone who took everything from me."
"Wait, honey, I think we should wait for the girls. This is really important. They're going to want to know about it."
"No, Camila. You know what? Never mind. J-just forget I said anything." I get up to leave, but Camila grabs my arm.
"Okay, sit back down. I guess I'm okay with you telling them later. Just tell me what happened."
I sit back down and say, "Fine. So, while I was dating Carter I begin to focus all of my energy on him. He took so much of my time and energy that I didn't have any more left to give to my friends. I started to lose so many friendships because of it and, if I'm being honest, I didn't really care. I had him and I thought it was enough. So, when he started to bully one of my best friends,"
Camila interrupts me, "Wait, Taylor?"
"No, a girl named Faith. But, when he started to bully her, I didn't really do anything. Instead, I helped him make fun of her." I mumble out the last part.
Camila looks a little taken back, but I could tell she was trying to hide it.
"Oh," was all she was able to muster out.
"I know and I honestly feel so bad about it. I know what I did was horrible and I am such a horrible person for that. You have no idea how much I want to say sorry to her. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what I did to her."
"Skylar, honey," Camila tries to interrupt me.
"No, Camila. Let me finish. What's even worse about it is that I did it for Carter. The guy who started to spread rumors and bully me after a month or two. And, the entire school joined him in it because they were all pretty mad at me and what I did, which was understandable. I deserved it. After all of that went down, Carter and I broke up. A few of my friends were there for me, like Taylor. But, things only got worse after the break up. Carter started to send a bunch of texts that I sent him to our classmates. He called me a slut for 'cheating' on Kevin and spread a rumor that we broke up because he found out I was cheating on him. But, I never cheated. Ever."
"Sky, I have four words for you. He doesn't deserve you. From what I can tell, he's the one who influenced you to do what you did. He used you and then turned everyone against you. Trust me Sky, everyone will run into a Carter at least once in their life. What happened then doesn't matter now. What does matter is how you're going to take that experience and grow from it. Don't let me bring you down. You have to rise above it. He never deserved you and he never will."
"I don't know Camila. I'm trying to grow from that experience, but I don't know. I feel so bad for what I did. It wasn't right."
"Skylar, at least you know what you didn't wasn't okay. That's more than you can say for Carter. Honestly, if I ever see him I'll make sure he thinks twice before messing with you or anyone again. I can't believe he could do something like that. I don't even know him and I hate him so much for what he did to you." Camila says, clearly getting heated with the conversation.
Camila takes a deep breath before continuing, "Whatever, it's a new beginning, so leave him in the past. Grow from that experience and become a better and stronger women. Alright?"
I smile at her and nod.
"Good, I love you so much Monkey. Nothing will ever change that." She says bringing me into a tight hug.
She let's go of me.
"Alright, just letting you know, you're not allowed to date until you're in your mid 20's. Got it?"
"Hmmmm I don't know about that." I reply
"Hmmmm well I do, and you won't."
"Okay, sure." I playfully roll my eyes at her.
She chuckles a little before returning to the main topic, "What happened to Faith and you? Did you guys talk after?"
"No, and, I don't blame her. What I said to her was not okay. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either."
"Honey, you've been with us for a little over 5 months. As far as I'm concerned, you're nothing like you were back then. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met. Sky, we've all been in love with someone so much so that we let it cloud our judgement. All we want to do is make them happy and sometimes it ends up crossing lines. Honestly, I am so proud of you Sky. You recognized what you did wrong and you're trying to grow from your mistakes. You have such a bright future ahead. I admire you so much because of your growth and your wanting to become a better person. I see you grow each and every day into such a beautiful, kind-hearted young women. I couldn't be prouder of you."
My eyes began to well up and I quickly wrap Camila in a tight hug. "I love you so much," I say into her shirt.
"I love you too." she replies, kissing my hair.
The door to the bus suddenly opens and slams shut. Then, we hear Dinah scream "MILA! YOU IN HERE?!"
"Yeah, I'm in the back!" she calls out.
"Hey," she whispers to me, "remember the promise you made me? You said you'd tell the girls what happened."
"I'll tell them tomorrow. I'm tired." I reply, getting up.
Camila sighs, "Alright, but I'm going to make sure you tell them tomorrow. Go to bed." she says, hugging me.
I go to my bunk, but then decide to surprise Camila by sleeping in her bunk.
I get under the blankets of her bunk and hide. After a while, she opens the curtains and pulls the sheets down. She sees me and jumps a little, scared.
"Jesus, Skylar." she says holding her heart "You scared the hell out of me."
I laugh at her reaction.
"What are you doing in here?" she asks.
I shrug, "sleeping," I reply, smiling.
"Oh, okay," she says before giving me a devilish smirk.
She gets in and wraps me in a kola hug that was so tight, I could barely breathe.
"Wait, I was just joking. I'm going to my bunk. I-I c-can't breathe."
"Nope, too late."
She doesn't let me leave or break away from the kola hug, so I'm stuck sleeping really uncomfortably.
A/N: Sorry for not updating as consistently! I've been really busy with work! I'll try to update this story as much as I can.
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