In the days following, I excitedly anticipate my mother's letter, but nothing ever arrives. Each afternoon, I sort through the stack of mail left on the kitchen table, but when I reenter my room, there is never a letter in my hand. The lack of any correspondence between me and my mother keeps me up at night. I worry if my letter was intercepted or perhaps something terrible has prevented my mother from responding. I consider composing a second letter, but there has been nothing substantial to share since my walk with Asteria in the garden.

One afternoon, before I can sadly sort through the letters, Alba motions me over toward her on my way back to the maid's quarters.

"Yes? Is everything all right?" I ask.

"You have a visitor," Alba says, eyeing the back gate of the estate. "Be back in a few hours."

I nod and thank her. My heart leaps in excitement at the thought of Taika waiting for me. I have to wonder if his visit brings good news or bad, but knowing that someone from home is waiting for me is enough to fill me with glee, no matter the reason. I nearly run out the back gates of the estate to find Taika leaning on a wooden fence on the outskirt of the road.

"Taika!" I exclaim excitedly. His face lights up in a smile, and I carry the hem of my maid's uniform as I rush over to him. He engulfs me in a firm hug. Though we saw each other only a few weeks prior, I have already missed him greatly. He does not know how much I cried after he left. I do not plan to tell him this, but I hope to convey my excitement over our reunion in the tightness of my hug.

"I'm glad to see you are still well," Taika says gently.

"Shall we walk the same route as last time?" I wonder. I am already thinking of all that I want to tell him and all that I want to ask about. An afternoon stroll sounds absolutely perfect in this springtime air.

However, Taika shakes his head. Last time, he greeted me with excitement, but this time, he appears nervous, which causes my stomach to drop. Is there bad news he must share? Taika points his head toward a small stretch of woods in the distance. "We'll go a different way. There is someone waiting for you," he says.

I nod. I could always ask who this mysterious visitor is, though I have a fairly good idea if the absence of a letter gives any indication. I walk quietly alongside Taika, wishing I could tell him all about how my plan is going in Esterpool, but he keeps the conversation brief and surface-level, merely asking if I am eating enough and getting along with the other maids. It is clear he wants to save the larger discussion for when we get to the woods.

We walk alongside the dirt roads of Esterpool, past the sprawling farms, until I can hear the sound of a creek in the distance. It drains from the farms in the east and travels west, where there is small shrouds of woods.

"This way," Taika says, taking me away from the open space of the farmland into the denser brush of the forest. I follow behind him slowly and enter into the woods. The trees have thin trunks and delicate green leaves, and various bushes and flowers, entirely different from the flora of the Landiani Jungle, decorate the forest floor. I suppose it is quite beautiful, but it must not even compare to what the forests of Magnuvia used to look like. I expect these woods are one of the few remnants of natural beauty in this country.

Taika takes a large step over the creek. He turns, seeing me hold the ends of my uniform nervously as I eye the creek with uncertainty.

"Take my hand," Taika offers.

I nod and grasp on, thanking him as he helps me make it across the small stream of running water. I try to brush any remnants of dirt from my gown, but I am sure I will need to do my laundry later regardless. Alba does not take lightly to even a speck of dirt on our uniforms.

Suddenly, a figure emerges from the bushes.

"Mama," I say with realization.

"Good afternoon, Fetia. It's good to see you," my mother says.

I jerk, ready to step forward and hug her, but my mother's stance is solid and firm. She stands among the bushes, almost blended in with the shadows, and stares me down intensely with a look that I can already tell is condescension. My mother is alive and well, easing any of my fears, but she is not happy with me.

"Sorry to keep everything secretive," Taika says, breaking my gaze from my mother. "Arihi was afraid of being recognized if she came up to the gate with me."

"It's all right," I murmur, though I almost feel a sense of betrayal. I assumed I would be enjoying another pleasant stroll with Taika this afternoon. Now, I have the feeling that this visit will be entirely different.

Taika glances at the both of us and dips his head. "I'll go and stand watch then while you two talk."

I look at him with begging eyes, but he ignores my silent pleas and disappears back into the bushes, leaving my mother and I alone for the first time since my departure. I think of how excited I should be to see my mother after more than a month away from home, but in the moment, I am paralyzed by fear.

"Did you have a good trip here?" I ask.

"Yes. Although, this country is quite ghastly to look at," my mother says with an air of disgust. "I trust you have grown used to Esterpool now though?"

"Yes," I say. I play with with the sleeves of my uniform, trying to find some way to break the tension. "Um, how is Kiana?"

"She is well. She recently became a member of the royal guard, but I believe you were aware of that already. I think I wrote about it in my last letter."

I nod once again.

"She has had the pleasure of meeting the king and prince a few times now. Her familiarity with the castle in Magewell is expanding. She is currently working on a map, although it will be hard for her to access all the rooms," my mother explains. "I am sure she can do it though. She has always been rather motivated compared to—" My mother promptly cuts off her speech.

Compared to you, is what I realize she was going to say. It is evident to me that Mama is angry, but I feign ignorance regardless, hoping it will lessen the blow of her words.

"Mama, I wrote to you a little while ago, but I didn't receive a response," I say. "Did you receive my letter?"

"I did," she says. "I figured my response would be more appropriate in the form of a visit. Were you worried?"

"A little," I say.

"Well, then. Why don't you start our visit by sharing with me the additional information you gathered in the time since you sent the letter?" my mother asks.

I shuffle my feet awkwardly. "There is nothing substantial to share."

My mother eyes me with suspicion. "But you are in charge of dressing the princess each morning, no? Shouldn't you have been able to pry some more information from her lips?"

"I do not have a lot of time—"

"Nor do we!" my mother exclaims, and the anger in her tone suddenly becomes clear. "While you sit here and linger, Fetia, our country continues to suffer. Do you want more than just Lagi to be taken to the war in the north? Do you want Taika to be taken too, or Palila, for heaven's sake? They will start coming after everyone in no time."

"N-No! That's not what I want at all!" I argue. "Believe me, I have been trying! I gave you that information, didn't I?"

"About the princess and Prince Stephan?"

"Yes."

"And what was there to say about them?" my mother asks

My voice grows quiet. "Only that they were not too close growing up..."

"Which does not help our case at all!" my mother exclaims.

"But it is not like I can change Asteria's relationship with her brother!" I shout back.

"Asteria?" my mother asks. Her eyes grow cold, and I realize I have made a mistake. "So you can refer to the princess without her honorifics now, but you cannot manage to gather information?" my mother questions.

"All the maids call her that," I lie. "It gives no indication to the nature of our relationship."

"Fetia, clearly the opportunity is there for you to investigate the princess and her relationship with the royal family. Why you hesitate, I do not understand. Kiana is giving it her all in Magewell. I need you to do the same," my mother says, her tone taking on a softer and more comforting tone.

"The other maids, Mama—they are angry with me for progressing with the princess so quickly—"

"And they can be disposed of if necessary," my mother snaps. "Never mind your relationship to them. I need you to focus on your relationship with the princess. I do not care how you achieve it, but I need more information about her from you. Try to stall the dressing process if you can, try to outperform the other maids so you can gain more access to her; do whatever you need to remain in close proximity to Princess Asteria. I hate to say this, Fetia, because I believe in you, but... I have no problem taking you back to Tetoa where you can go work with the others like slaves mining for the Magnuvians in the sea caves. Maybe then that will teach you how important this mission is. Do you understand?"

I nod silently, trying to hide the tears that are stinging the corners of my eyes.

My mother sighs and reaches her hand forward to touch my face. I flinch, but she is merely wiping some of the tears rolling down my cheeks with her thumb. I lean into her touch.

"You know I love you, Fetia, right?" my mother asks.

I nod. "I love you, too," I murmur quietly. I know she is only being cruel to motivate me. I know that she must believe in me deep down. I want to impress her. I want to do a good job.

"I am only harsh because this mission means so much, and I know how skilled you are. Otherwise I would not have entrusted this to you," my mother says. "Now come here and give me a hug."

I slowly embrace her. While she hums contently above me, I shake in fear and try to push down the sobs threatening to arise in my throat. I know my mother's threats are not empty. If I cannot do enough to please her, I will be taken back home to Tetoa. As much as I miss my home country, I do not wish to return home feeling like a broken soldier instead of the hero that I intend to be.

"It is time for Taika to take you back, then," my mother says when we pull apart. "I expect more letters from you in the future."

"Okay," I agree. "I will try to write you as often as I can."

"Good," she says, patting my shoulder. "Do not lose sight of the mission, Fetia. You are vital to this plan, even if it feels like you are not."

"I know," I say. "I'll see you, then."

"Until next time," my mother says.

I walk back through the woods wiping tears from my eyes. I shield the sun from my eyes as the trees eventually disperse. I find Taika standing near the opening of the woods, his gaze focused on the empty road ahead. At the sound of my footsteps, he jolts and spins around quickly.

"Just me," I say.

Taika nods. I know that he must be able to tell I have been crying, but he says nothing. I am silently grateful for it.

"Is it time, then?" Taika asks.

I nod.

The walk back with Taika is quiet and peaceful. I am comforted by his presence, but there is nothing I want to discuss with him. My mother has said enough to me already to motivate me to do better. I do not need Taika to piggyback on to her own thoughts when it was already made abundantly clear that I am not doing well enough in her eyes.

As Taika and I continue down the roads of Esterpool, I can see the estate appearing in the distance. I let out a sigh of relief, strangely excited to return so I can escape the stress of all that transpired earlier in the afternoon. I know that come tomorrow morning, I will need to be ready to give my all with the princess, but for the remainder of the day, I plan to let myself rest.

Near the back gates of the estate, Taika and I share our parting words.

"Thank you for seeing me," I murmur as I give him a brief hug.

"I have no doubts that you will do great, Fetia," he says quietly, at the risk of someone overhearing my real name. "Write often, okay?"

"I will," I promise.

We part, and I drag my feet heavily behind me as I return to the maid's quarters. No other maids are out in the living area as I step inside, which eases me, as I am not in the mood to make small talk or, hell, be berated by them. However, as I approach my own room, it is clear by the sound of footsteps that Maria is home. I do my best to hide my annoyance as I step inside, knowing that I cannot lash out at the one maid who is doing her best to make me feel comfortable here.

"Welcome back, Fe," Maria says. She is carefully changing the sheets on her bed. "What were you up to this afternoon?"

"Taika visited me again," I explain.

"How nice—oh no! Fe! Have you been crying?" Maria exclaims, clearly having noticed the sorrow reflected on my face.

I rub my eyes, thinking it will magically erase my tears, but it is no use. "Sorry. I did not think I would get so homesick this time, but I did regardless," I lie.

"I am so sorry to hear that, Fe."

"The feelings will go away soon," I say. Maria still eyes me concernedly, and I silently wish she would stop. The last thing I want is to be pitied by her, a Magnuvian. I turn and climb up the ladder to my bed, where I promptly lay down with a sigh.

Not a moment later, Maria's head pops up beside me. She stands on the ladder, gazing at me. "Are you working tomorrow?" she asks.

"I do not think I have any other duties besides dressing the princess," I say. "Why?"

"I am visiting Arkford tomorrow to run some errands for Alba and to buy some new clothes of my own. Why don't you come with me?" Maria asks. "A change of scenery might help with the homesickness. It cannot be good being cramped up here in Esterpool all the time."

"Are you sure?" I ask. "I will need someone else to take over Asteria's dressing, then."

"As if Josie will not be jumping at the chance," Maria says with a laugh. "I can talk to Alba later this evening and ask if you can join me. I forgot a few items on her list last time, so she will be happy to have a second pair of eyes."

I think back to all the preparation Kiana and I did in Landiani. My mother's voice echoes in my head, warning us not to travel too far from our stationed sites in Magnuvia. She shared often how there was too much out of our control if we were to leave Esterpool or Magewell and that a fear of being recognized or discovered was greater. However, I am frustrated with my mother. Perhaps she has not been satisfied with my work, but she does not know how hard I have been working these last few weeks. For that reason, I do what I never do, and decide to rebel against her. She is not here to tell me otherwise.

"I would love to come if you would enjoy my company," I say.

"Great! I will go speak to Alba right now!" Maria exclaims. She jumps down from the ladder, and I hear her feet excitedly scurry out of the room.

I roll my eyes, but then I smile. It is nice to know she values my company, and I am happy at the chance to escape the confines of Esterpool. I do not know how Asteria has managed to live here for so long. I am already feeling trapped despite not being here longer than two months.

In the silence of my room, I trace my finger against my bedsheets, slowly unpacking all the emotions that my mother's visit brought me. While I do not cry this time, I feel my frustration, my loneliness, my anxiety, and I wish there was someone I could talk to. Princess Asteria flashes through my mind, but I only laugh at the thought. How silly it would be to think I could ever tell her what I was going through since she is the one I am targeting in this plan.

And yet, I still feel myself longing for her, for reasons I do not quite understand.