I've Never Seen Two Smart BFFs, One Always Dumb

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

The glass casing surrounding you disappeared the moment you entered the control room. Tallest Red and Purple stared down at you. Their beady eyes were unwavering as they took in your form. You wondered if you would be able to breathe in the same air as these Irkens, but then you remembered, you had on your space suit Zim had given you.

"Hello, punny Earthanoid!" Red mocked you.

You frowned at the leaders in front of you. Purple clasped his hands together. "Look at that Red. S/he's/they're tall like Zim said!"

"Yes, but the weakling is still shorter than us." Red then faced the dozens of monitors filled with Irken soldiers. "This proves the Irken Empire is the most superior race in all of space!"

As the tall leaders babbled on and on to their audience that were video calling them, you adjusted the tiny device disguised as an earring. "Zim, can you hear me?"

There was a moment of static until the ex-Irken could be heard. "Yes, are things going according to Zim's amazing plan?"

Normally, this would be the part where you remind your beloved boyfriend that it was your plan to trick the Tallests into thinking Zim had abandoned you. Unfortunately, you didn't have time to do so.

"Zim, stop talking. We were correct. None of the Irken invaders are here. Just the ones that work for the armada." You whispered.

Red and Purple turned to face you again. Grabbing your arm, they threw you in front of the "crowd." You felt like a guest speaker during a Zoom class. Not knowing what to do, you stood frozen. Elsa would be jealous.

"Don't be shy, show them your powers." Purple pressured you. "This tall, but still shorter than us, human will show you the key to Impending Doom III!"

Perfect, you thought. Now you didn't have to think of your own way to initiate destroying the ship. Smirking to yourself, you let your powers take over.

(Separating this next small part based on your choice of powers again)

Water powers (Poseidon)
This would be too easy. You've seen the way Zim responded to water on Earth. Now you get to test it out on unsuspecting Irkens. Since you had to be close to water in order for your powers to work, Zim found a way to infuse and hide a gallon of water within the fabrics of your suit. Thankfully, it only made your body slightly heavier.

Concentrating, you willed the water out of your suit and formed a small hurricane in your hand. Red and Purple's eyes widened in curiosity. When they were mesmerized by the small body of water, you reached out both of your hands towards them.

The water followed your command and swirled around the leaders.

"What are you doing?" Red yelled. "Stop this immediately!"

"Where's the dam fun in that?" You secretly laughed at your own pun. "I like to call this next move The Wettening Part Two!" You say in honor of your friend Dib. It sounded a lot cooler in your head.

You loomed the water several feet above their heads into a balloon shape. Somehow, Purple found this funny. "You think we can be defeated by some liquid? Irkens would never-"

He was cut off by his own screams. You let the water fall onto their lanky bodies. Instantly, their green skin began to burn and smoke. You pointed your hand in the direction of the soldiers that piloted the ship. They cowered into the corner, huddled together. 

Charmspeak (Aphrodite)

"Slap your best friend." You ordered them.

They laughed in disbelief. "We would never-" Purple was hushed by Red harshly smacking him across the face. This caused a small catfight to break out between the two.

You looked towards the pilots. "Stop the Massive and walk away from your posts."

You would have stopped there, but you remembered all the hateful things they have done to Zim over the years. You began barking out orders to them. "Punch you friend in the squeedily spooch. Poke each other in the eyes."

Yep, you could do this all day.

"Don't feel bad boys, all is fair in love and war. Now kick him in the shin." There's no shame in your pun game.

Fire Powers (Hephaestus)

Thanks to Zim, your suit was fire proof. Flames swelled around your arms and down to your wrists. You threw a pair of fire balls at the monitors, ending the call with the other Irkens that we're watching. 

"Enjoy your next fifteen minutes of flame, idiots." You laugh, wishing you hadn't chosen a pun in this moment.

"Fire powers? You're scarier than Zim let on!" Purple screamed right before he and Red lunged at you. Quickly, you surrounded yourself with a wave of blazing heat. Their bodies hit the nearest wall and collapsed. 

You set the controls ablaze. The rest of the Irkens shivered in fear next to their leaders' bodies.

Plant Powers (Demeter)

You reached into your pocket of your suit and grabbed a small bag of plant seeds. You ripped it open and tossed the seeds across the room. Every crease and crevice had at least three tiny seeds within them.

Purple frowned. "Wait, that's all you can do? Zim said that you were powerful."

"Oh, sorry. Do you need some encourage-mint?" You asked, cringing at your own pun. "Say aloe to my little friends!" You balled your hand up. Instantly, vines and roots bursted from every corner of the room. 

A rose vine wrapped around the Irken elites and slammed their bodies against the ceiling. Thorns stabbed through the small screens, disconnecting the calls.

Wind Powers (Zeus)

You prayed that your powers would still work even though you were technically in outer space. You willed your powers to lift you off the ground. In your mind, you did a small happy dance. Suddenly, a gust of wind pushed the Tallest to the other side of the room. Red and Purple sized tornados surrounded them. 

Purple groaned in disbelief. His eyes watched as the doughnuts flew around the room. "No! The snacks!"

"Don't worry. If you cooperate, this will be a breeze." You smirk again.

The wind whipped through the room, tearing apart the monitors and control panels. Using another gust of wind, you forced the rest of the Irkens in the room against the opposite wall. 

Back to the story

"Now, Zim." You yelled into your ear piece once you had control of the situation. 

The Irken in question ordered his allies into action. Within seconds, a dozen rock like packages (compliments of the Screwheads) entered into the room. You figured the same teleportation devices used to get you in the Massive was behind the packages entering as well. That's when you realized the Meekrob likely used their energy to teleport the packages through the outer walls of the Massive. Hunter Destroyer Machines broke through their wrappings and awaited your orders. 

"Capture whatever Irkens are in the ship. Lock them all into the cafeteria and make sure no one escapes. Do not harm them." The robots beeped at your order and turned to carry out their tasks. 

By now, Purple and Red had regained their consciousness. Red frowned angrily. "What are you doing? Stop this at once!" 

Meanwhile, Zim and Dib were on the outside of the ship. The Resisty cut a hole into the snack compartment of the mothership. The two frenemies slipped inside as the snacks dispelled into the darkness and space.

Dib, who was currently living his biggest dream, spoke through the comms. "We're in. Cut off power to the lights." 

The Vortians shut off the electricity within seconds. It helps to have allies that designed the ship you were taking over. Two buff Irken guards ran down the corridor. Grabbing his "Alien Hunting" baseball bat, as he calls it, Dib whacked the nearest guard in the head. The partner was taken down by Zim.

"Dib, tell your sister unit to begin attacking the smaller ships surrounding the mothership." Zim said as he turned down another hall.

The large headed boy's eyes widened. "Did you actually call me by my name with no insult attached? I never thought there would be a day-"

"Yes, yes, can we talk about this later. Zim must find y/n before anything happens to him/her/them." Zim waved him off.

Dib did as he was asked/told. Maybe Zim really had changed. He was putting your life above his own. "Do you know where we're going?"

Zim scoffed. "Of course Zim knows. I've snuck on the Massive many times since I returned from Food Courtia the first time."

Zim pushed open a large set of doors, revealing you and the defeated Irkens you had taken over.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net