**

SEBASTIAN

There comes a point in every man's life where they begin to wonder if their acts of good are as noble as they believe they are.

Take me, for example. In an attempt to make sure that Leslie is safe while associating herself with Alejandro, I took it upon myself to install surveillance cameras in her office to watch Alejandro whenever he's over there. Somehow, that wasn't enough. So, I went as far as to jeopardize Julio's reputation and his goddamn life by employing him to put cameras around the Quintanilla villa in Spain. Again, I remind myself that this is for Leslie; that this is for her protection. My hands are tied tighter than she would ever believe. This is the only way I can possibly intervene in her and Alejandro's budding 'relationship.'

I sit in my office chair, finally having a moment to myself after a two-hour conference call. Claude said that he got something in from Spain that he wanted to show me. Half of me is apprehensive while the other half is guilty for indulging in this. Before, I didn't have a problem with this spying. But after Leslie chewed me the fuck out before she left for her trip, I've been wondering if any of what I'm doing is worth the effort; if invading her privacy in the name of safety is even worth it anymore? Jesus, the look on her face when she confronted me still lingers in my mind—her wide, brown eyes staring at me like I was a monster, her lip quivering out of anger and hurt. I know I can be an asshole, but that moment made me believe it more than I ever wanted to. I wish I could tell her everything. Maybe she wouldn't think of me as such a dick in the first place.

Ava comes into my office and tells me that Claude and Penny are here. I tell her to let them inside. Claude enters first, Penny right behind him. They both have these stoic facial expressions that scare the fuck out of me.

"What is it?" I ask them, getting out of my chair.

"Um," Claude scratches his beard, "the footage I told you about."

"What about it? Let me see."

"There's a lot of it," Claude insists, and his eagerness for me not to see it is making me want to watch it even more. Reluctantly, he hands me the iPad and doesn't say more. My finger hovers over the play button until I finally bring myself to press it.

"This was her second or third day there," Penny explains. "She's coming back from a date with Alejandro."

Great.

In the video, Leslie is walking down the hallway with Alejandro right behind her. They're talking and laughing about their night. When she's in front of her door, she talks about taking a long hot bath. And suddenly, they're both making out. Heavy. I'll be honest, this doesn't feel good. In fact, this feels like someone is dropping bricks on my chest and refusing to remove them. Her ass is pressed into him as he slips his hand underneath her dress; my eyes enlarge. Did they really fuck in this hallway?

Suddenly, they jolt away from each other when a few men walk down the hall. After they pass, Leslie decides to leave Alejandro high and dry with a goodnight and nothing else.

Well, not before he holds her panties up between them both. Cheeky.

"Is this what you wanted me to watch?" I ask Claude. He can tell I'm upset; I'm doing a horrible job hiding it. "Is this it?"

"There's more, Sebastian," he responds.

Penny sighs. I sense a little annoyance from her. "You said you wanted as much footage as we could get. This is it."

No one says anything. Claude and I look at Penny with expectant eyes until she apologizes. Claude insists that I watch the next piece of footage. Leslie is in the kitchen with Alejandro, clearly distraught about something. The video hasn't started yet, but I have a feeling of what's going to happen next.

"We took out some of the parts that weren't that important," he says before I press play.

Then why the hell have you been avoiding me? Is the first thing that Alejandro says.

Because I thought that you just wanted...I thought that you were interested in one thing.

"What are they talking about?" I ask Penny.

"Alejandro was upset that Leslie was avoiding him after their little 'episode' in the hallway. Alejandro's 'cousin' gave her some bad advice on how to deal with it."

"Lupita?"

Penny nods. "Yeah, her. She told Leslie that she should—"

Leslie, I took you out on a date because I like you! I didn't take you out because I just wanted to have sex with you. If I'm being honest, I'm a little crazy about you—you're beautiful, funny, smart, fun to be around; I can't get enough of you. So, when you agreed to go on a date with me then avoided me like the plague, I'm not gonna lie, it made me feel some kind of way. I was trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong, but now it's because you thought I just wanted to fuck and be done with it?

I stare at the screen like I'm waiting for something else—like I'm waiting for Alejandro to admit that he didn't mean what he said. But apparently, he meant it. I shouldn't be caught up in my feelings about this shit. When Alejandro and I spoke at the club, it was clear that he was interested in her. And I was the one who made the deal—keep Leslie safe, and none of our skeletons will come out of the closet. But fuck, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be, hearing him actually say that he has feelings for Leslie.

Leslie then tells Alejandro that she has feelings for him, too. My hands grip around the iPad so hard that my palms are burning. If only she knew who the fuck this guy was. It's ruining me, what I can't tell her.

Leslie, I know that you still care about him in some way. And I can see that you're still hurt about what he did. But I've dealt with many men that have the same qualities that he does, so I know for a fact that what Sebastian did was possessive; it was immature and controlling. Please don't waste your time hurting over someone who believes that you belong to them like you're their property and their responsibility. That isn't healthy.

I pause the video. "Did he just say that?" I ask in disbelief. "Did he really just fucking say that!?"

"Yup," Claude nods. Penny is silent.

"I know exactly what he's doing. We didn't agree on pinning her against me!"

"What did you agree on?" Penny asks me. Her tone sounds a bit condescending; Claude catches it before I do.

"Keep Leslie safe and uninvolved from this shit, and his secrets are kept where he wants them. But I-I didn't..."

I don't even know what to say. Instead, I press play, welcomed to Leslie and Alejandro making out once again as if Alejandro is her ultimate savior. Leslie wraps her legs around his hips as he carries her off into the hallway. Claude and Penny wear these sympathetic looks at me; it's insulting, really. Do they think my heart is completely shattered or something?

"Here." Claude tries to take the iPad away from me. "I think that's enough."

"I want to see what's next. You said that it was a lot—"

"I know, but now I don't think that's a good idea."

I watch on anyway and quickly understand why Claude didn't want me to see the rest. Leslie and Alejandro are undressed in a bedroom, Leslie's foot pressed into Alejandro's bare chest. Heat rises up into my head before I suddenly feel cold and lifeless all over my body. But that isn't the best part. The best part comes right after he slips her skirt off.

The son of a bitch looks into the fucking camera and smiles at it before covering it with Leslie's skirt.

I pause the video and stare at the blackened screen. I know what happens next - what happened next, rather. But I can't seem to divide my anger up properly; should I be angry at Alejandro and Leslie having sex, or angry that someone told him about the cameras?

I'll just be angry about both.

"Mother fucker!" I slam Claude's iPad into the couch and pace my office in an attempt to calm down. I haven't spat out the word 'fuck' this many times in a while. The room is being filled with them.

"Who told him about the cameras?" I finally ask once I can breathe again.

"It must have been Julio," Penny says, a little guilty that her 'plan' fucked up.

"So this was your fault?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're the one who said that Julio could be trusted, but obviously that isn't the case, now is it?"

"I...I-I just...I'm sorry."

I don't even want to hear the excuses coming out of Penny's mouth. All I can think of is Alejandro telling Leslie about the cameras; he probably knows about the ones in her office, too.

"Penny, you do realize what happens now, right? Alejandro knows that we're onto him. He knows that we don't trust him and he knows what we're willing to do in order to prove our point. Have you forgotten who the fuck we're dealing with!?"

"I'm sorry -"

"Sorry isn't good enough! 'Sorry' isn't going to fix this!" I'm mumbling to myself like a madman. "When she finds out she's going to hate me even more. Goddammit."

"Well, why shouldn't she?" Penny says. The confidence on her face when she says this is alarming. Claude looks like he's going to pop a blood vessel.

"Penny, stop-"

"No, Claude," she protests, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm sorry, but I have to say this. Sebastian, with all due respect, you aren't a Saint in any of this, either. How can you just stand there oblivious to all of the shit you've done?"

"Penny -"

"I'm the last person you should blame for something going wrong when you intentionally tried to sabotage Leslie's trip, trying to keep her here like she's a fucking child. That was so immature. Alright, yes - I do understand the part about protecting her, but now it's become some shit that is completely beyond 'looking out for her.' If you want to protect her, then you should stop policing her! Hell, if you want to protect her, you should probably just leave her and Alejandro alone-"

"Penny, that's enough!" Claude shouts, loud enough to even give me chills. The loud octave of Claude's voice is enough to shut Penny up, but beyond that, it looks as if she has completely changed from the firecracker she was moments before. I haven't been called out like this in a long time. By Leslie? Yes - she has a tendency of putting me in my place. But this was different. All I do is stare at Penny as she stares back at me with these big, conflicted eyes.

"Sebastian," Claude starts on Penny's behalf. "I'm sorry - "

"Claude, can you give us a minute?"

Penny looks frightened by my request. Without opposition, Claude leaves the room; not before giving Penny a look that says "you should have been quiet."

The door closes. Immediately, Penny begins to beg for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I wasn't in my element to snap like that. Please accept my apology."

"Penny -"

"I will be handing you my resignation letter tomorrow morning," she continues sternly like she's aware of her faults but oblivious to how truthful she was.

"You don't have to do that," I assure her before gesturing for her to take a seat. Hesitantly, she sits down on the couch. I sit next to her and sigh while I process everything she just lashed out at me. I've never seen Penny so tense; her shoulders are back, her eyes can't stand to look at me. Occasionally, she slips her unruly hair back into her bun as she waits for me to speak.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you like that," I begin. "I was in the wrong for asking you to entrust Julio in that task, anyway."

"I was supposed to -"

"You were supposed to do your job. I asked more of you; I asked you to do something that wasn't in your job description and I'm in the wrong for that. So, you were right to call me an asshole."

Penny manages a laugh. "Well, I didn't necessarily call you that."

I sigh, rubbing my eyes and thinking a little more on her words. "I just...I don't know what to do, Penny. I really don't know what to do; I don't know what I'm doing. I'm fucking lost."

She finally looks at me. There's a familiarity in her eyes that makes it easier to be open with her. "What do you want to do? Realistically," she adds, "what would you do if you had the freedom?"

"I would tell my dad to fuck off. Do the right thing with Harrison Inc. without worrying about higher-ups and partnerships...I would Leslie the truth about everything - about Alejandro, about the Quintanilla's in general. Tell Leslie...I would tell her -"

I stop myself before getting too carried away. It doesn't make sense to build up this hope in me if I can never act upon it.

"Maybe there's a way for you to do the right thing," Penny suggests.

I chuckle. "Yeah, I wish."

"No, seriously. I know that you're under certain 'restrictions,' but that doesn't mean you can't start small."

I know what she means by starting off small - apologizing to Leslie. The thought of looking Leslie in the eye and apologizing makes me cringe; she isn't going to forgive me for being a dick. And if Alejandro tells Leslie about the cameras, I'm fucking finished.

Penny sees how doubtful I am about the idea. It isn't pride. It's shame.

"Believe it or not, Leslie still cares about you a lot. Sure, you fucked up. But that doesn't mean she isn't going to forgive you."

You aren't my dad, you aren't my boyfriend and right now, I'm contemplating if you're even still my friend.

"Penny, I don't know -"

"Just apologize. And if she doesn't forgive you, then that's that. At least you said you're sorry."

"Alright. I'll...apologize."

"Start off small," she assures me again. And when I put my hand on her shoulder as a sign of gratitude, she jerks away at the contact; like my touch is a poisonous memory entering her brain.

"S-sorry," she stutters uncomfortably, eyes wider than they were when she thought she had lost her job.

"No, it's fine," I say to her. Quickly, she stands up and regains that attitude she's known for - chill, laid back, trustworthy. It's clear she wants me to forget about her jumping away from me; I couldn't have scared her that much.

"I'm going to go get Claude," she says. I nod as she leaves, eyeing her distancing figure until she's out the door.

"Penny," I mumble to myself, looking back at the door like she's still standing there.

**

Today, Leslie is officially back from Spain.

She and I are supposed to attend our preliminary meeting with the director of the AFA non-profit. We haven't talked yet; we haven't even seen each other since she landed. I told Darcy to urge Leslie to change the date of the meeting in order for her to get some rest, but Darcy insisted that Leslie was in "well enough spirits" to do the meeting today. It's clear 'who' has her in well enough spirits.

Gag me.

When I walk into the conference room, Leslie doesn't even care to look at me. She's smiling, chipper, shaking hands and starting up a conversation with the rest of the AFA Board as I finish my round of introductions. She introduces me to the committee like any publicist would with making their client look good, but it's nothing beyond the 'business' standpoint of things. The pain is killing me, seeing her so 'happy.' Of course, her happiness is one of the most important things to me, but knowing that it's because I'm of no use to her is disheartening.

Knowing that it's because I fucked up is disheartening, too.

Throughout the meeting, Leslie does her job like any publicist would. But the 'intimacy' between her and I as client and agent - as 'friends' - is gone. She's doing her job; I'm nothing more than a client. And the Board sees how detached I am. Leslie sees it, too, but continues on in the hopes that she can be in good spirits for both of us. The days before her arrival back home, I depressed myself with more video footage and tales of her adventures - Ferrari-rides down the Spanish countryside, days spent by the beach (Leslie does have a bit of color to her now), nights out partying in the Barcelona scene, and other activities that Alejandro had her enjoy. She looks genuinely happy now; fuck, why am I such an idiot?

When the meeting is finally over, I tell myself that this is my chance to apologize to her. The hopes of it making any difference is what kills me. I go over what I'm going to say to her in my head, but actually saying it to her is the hard part; she's so fucking perfect - refined and intelligent. I'm the goddamn moron. It's hard to get words out to a woman like her. Any other girl? Simple as simple can get. But Leslie? Especially after everything I did? I'll be lucky if I don't sound like a child trying to explain why they broke a vase or stole out of their mother's purse.

Everyone is filing out of the room (save for the ones that are just so adamant about talking to me). Leslie is packing her things, ignoring my presence. I make sure to hint to everyone leaving that I need the room alone. Finally, everyone is gone. Leslie gets up, sees the emptiness and tries to leave it. I stand in front of her before she can reach the door.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," she replies. She isn't even fazed. "But I do have clients waiting back at my office so it will have to be quick."

Ouch. Fuck, that hurt.

As she stares at me, waiting for whatever it is I have to say to her that's holding up her time, I panic. How do I begin apologizing? She doesn't even care about it anymore. Or she does care but is pretending like she doesn't so it hurts me.

Just say sorry, you idiot!

"I wanted to apologize for what I did," I say to her, lightly holding her arm so she knows how serious I am about this. She looks down at my hand around her forearm and finally shows me her true emotions - anger. Betrayal. Definitely distrust. The nonchalance on her face is replaced with the irritation that she held towards me when she found out what I did.

"What I did was foolish," I begin, pushing myself to continue. "It was immature and wrong. My intentions are never to hurt or disrespect you and I'm sorry that I failed at that. Someone finally talked some sense into me and made me realize how stupid I've been the last few months."

"Bless whoever did that," Leslie says up to me. I love and hate her sass at the same time; it's a huge turn on yet makes me want to scream in frustration.

Her remark throws me off course and makes it difficult to remember what I was going to say next. Luckily, she feels a little bad for snapping at me. She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"I just wish you would understand that I'm an adult, Sebastian."

"I do. I do understand that completely. You take care of yourself better than I could ever take care of myself, believe me."

Too much?

"Then why do you insist on being so involved in everything I do?"

"Because I'm trying to protect you," I confess.

Why did I say that, why did I say that?!

Leslie keeps looking up at me but can't find the words she wants to reply with. I've already said more than I intended to.

Small steps, Penny told me. Or was it baby steps? I don't fucking know.

"What are you protecting me from, Sebastian?" she asks me.

"Everything," I tell her. She laughs dryly, leaning against the table.

"That's a little