"S-Sasuke brought a date?!" Chouji goggled, "But what about- Weren't you and- I- What?!"
Sasuke smirked and patted him on the shoulder, "You'll have plenty of chances to meet her later. Let's go eat." He turned towards the exit, without checking if anyone followed him.
(￢‿￢ )
Naruto and Kiba brought up the rear of the group heading towards the basketball team dinner. They were so wrapped up in arguing about whether Samurai movies or Kungfu movies were better, it took them a while to realise that Chouji had been unusually quiet. So quiet, they hadn't even heard him eating chips.
"C'mon man, move," Kiba turned around and called back to him, who had stopped in the middle of the road, deep in thought.
"All the food's going to be eaten by the time we get there," Naruto added.
Chouji caught up to them, brow deeply furrowed and no chip in sight. When he still showed signs of lagging again, Kiba sighed dramatically and asked, "What's eating you, dude?"
Chouji hesitated, but finally blurted out, "What about Third Sister-in-Law?"
"What about her?"
"If Sasuke's going out with Haruno-san, what about Third sister-in-law?" Once he started, the words just started tumbling out. "I know it was just a game relationship, but they seem to be... I dunno, really real. She seems to really like him. Won't she be sad when she hears that Sasuke's dating someone in real life now?"
At that moment, both Kiba and Naruto realised that Chouji hadn't been there when Haruno-san had introduced herself as their third sister-in-law from Way. All it took was one glance.
"She absolutely would be sad."
"Devastated even."
"You think?"
"After being stood up at the tournament? Heartbroken."
"She'll probably never want to speak to us again."
"What-"
"Sasuke's kind of being a scumbag about it."
"You should confront him."
"Really?"
"Absolutely."
"Yeah. We'll be right behind you."
"Yeah! I'll talk to him!" Mind made up, Chouji picked up the pace to go find Sasuke at the front of the pack. Kiba and Naruto, true to their word, followed eagerly. Identical shit-eating grins spread over their faces.
"Hey Sasuke! Sasuke!" Sasuke didn't even bother to slow down or turn around when he heard his name being called out. When Chouji yelled, "Hey Sasuke, I want to talk to you about Sakura-chan" though, Sasuke did stop. Right in the middle of the sidewalk. The rest of the team flowed around him, while Chouji stopped in front of him.
Wordlessly, Sasuke turned, one eyebrow raised. Like a boxer squaring his shoulders for a long fight, Chouji took a deep breath and said, "I'm really happy for you, that you found a nice girlfriend and all, but what about Sakura-chan?"
"What about her?" Sasuke asked.
"How is she going to feel about it, now you're dating Haruno-san but married to her in game? You already missed the tournament. What are you going to do about her?"
Behind Chouji, Naruto and Kiba caught up, vastly amused. One glance at them, and Sasuke knew exactly what was going on. Neither of them would know subtlety if it bit them in the ass.
Sasuke met Chouji's gaze and said, without the slightest inflection, "Mm. I guess I'll have to have both."
"Seriously?"
"Never been more serious in my life."
"Y-You're-!" Chouji stuttered over his words and raised a shaking finger at Sasuke, "You're a scumbag! A total scumbag!"
"Terrible."
"Absolutely horrible!"
"You tell him, Chouji."
"Oi, Teme, you should be ashamed of yourself."
Sasuke didn't know why he waited for Naruto and Kiba to finish with their comedy act, but when they finally stopped to catch their breath, he simply raised an eyebrow at them.
Neither of them could hold it. Kiba tried to stuff his fist in his mouth to keep the sound from escaping, but Naruto belied his painstaking efforts when he just started giggling like an idiot. The two of them quickly gave up trying to hide anything, holding onto each other for support as they both started howling like the maniacs they were.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Bewildered, Chouji turned his shaking finger on the two clowns. "How's Sakura-chan going to feel if she finds out you guys just- just- laughed?!"
"Ask Sakura." With that parting shot, Sasuke walked away to rejoin the rest of the team. He passed Shikamaru, who'd stopped to wait for them.
"Hey, we're going to miss the food," Shikamaru called. Nobody moved. Kiba and Naruto seemed incapable of much besides laughing, and Chouji was still gaping. "What's the hold up?"
"Ask Sakura... Sakura-chan... wait." Realisation slowly dawned over Chouji. "Haruno-san's first name is Sakura, and then SakuraBlossom... Are they the same person?"
"They are definitely..."
"Absolutely positively...."
"...the same person."
Kiba and Naruto both took advantage of the split second it took for Chouji to comprehend what they'd said to start running. By the time he came to his senses, the only person he saw was Shikamaru, staring at him like he'd grown a second head.
(ノ°益°)ノε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣▽￣)┘┌(;￣▽￣)┘
By the time Chouji and Shikamaru caught up to the rest of the team, they had already reached the usual eatery. Shikamaru had heard the whole saga about their Third sister-in-law, and in return, had told Chouji what Sakura had said when she was introducing herself in the gym earlier. Luckily for Naruto and Kiba, though, Chouji was too hungry to delay dinner by beating the two of them up.
When he saw Kiba's shit-eating grin again, Chouji stole Kiba's newly opened soda from him on principle.
"Hey! I haven't drank that yet!" Kiba complained.
"Good." Chouji retorted, draining the can in one unrepentant gulp.
Grumbling, Kiba gave him the middle finger as he went to get himself another one from the cooler by the cash register. The team's regular eatery was small and run-down and only had the space for dine-in customers during the summer when the owner put out a bunch of plastic lawn chairs, tables, and umbrellas. The food was cheap, and portion sizes were generous, though, which was what all the students who pushed together the tables to make one giant table cared about.
"I still can't believe you conned me into doing that resume thing. I'm supposed to be graduating, damn it. We all are," Naruto grumbled to Sasuke as he flopped down in the chair next to him.
Sasuke nudged him and his sweaty chair away, causing Naruto to nearly fall out of his chair. "Consider it an advance look at next summer's interns. Hiring's your department."
"Oi!" Naruto scowled at him. "You think we're going to need interns next summer?" Interns meant busy work, the kind that was an audition for full-time work. He knew this was Sasuke saying they were going to be around for a long time yet.
"Believe it," Sasuke smirked, offering his drink up for a toast. Naruto grinned, clinking his glass with Sasuke's.
(￢‿￢ ) (￣▽￣)
Neji was about to turn off his computer for the night when an eye-catching red headline scrolled across the screen. How in the world did I get ransomware? He wondered as he reached for his mouse.
It only took a few seconds of frantic searching and sudden dread about the confidential Hyuuga family documents on his hard drive (even if they were encrypted) for him to see that he hadn't actually been the victim of a virus, it was just a browser effect. For some reason, the school forums had decided that a single piece of news was worthy of an eye-searingly red banner scrolling across the page. That news?
Uchiha Sasuke Girlfriend Confirmed?!
Preposterous. Why is this headline worthy? Neji was aware of the younger Uchiha, especially since the tragic loss of his parents and subsequent scandal with his other relatives on the board of one of the biggest conglomerates in the country. He was even aware of his reputation on campus, but his love life had no palpable impact on anyone else besides the parties involved. Unless his relationship foreshadows some major alliance or business deal for Uchiha Corp?
Convinced that that must be the case - because why else would anyone care? - and unwilling to miss such a crucial piece of intel, Neji sat down at his computer and clicked that blaring red headline.
The face of this so-called girlfriend wasn't some heiress or promising scion that Neji recognized from their circles, however. Neji's eyes narrowed as he scrutinised a face he'd become annoyingly familiar with this semester - his cousin's impoverished roommate that was probably doing compensated dating.
The gears in his head started to spin as he theorised why one of the Uchiha heirs was dating that woman and making their relationship public in such an ostentatious way. His other commitments were shoved to the side as he considered why Uchiha Sasuke would have to hire a girlfriend - some odd inheritance requirements that came into effect when he left school, another secret affair child he was trying to hide, or some other complication caused by his estranged relatives. More importantly, Neji came up with several theories of how the Hyuuga family could benefit from these hypotheticals.
Somehow, through the many hours of scouring the files and many coffees he consumed that night, the possibility that they simply enjoyed each other's company never occurred to him.
(눈_눈)
Shino knew how to mind his own business, especially when these large groups rolled through. Those nights, he minded it in the kitchen, and let his lazy ass manager do his job for once. Since that asshole couldn't cook, the least he could do is deal with the orders and the drinks.
I don't know if room and board is worth this shitty job. Shino sighed, leaning back against the wall as he put a cold drink on his forehead to cool off in this unseasonable heat. The low hum of voices through the half-opened restaurant door and the fact he hadn't heard his manager skulking around for ten minutes told him that the diners were enjoying their meal, and he could take 15.
Maybe I could get my computer and -
"I KNEW IT!"
Shino nearly jumped out of his skin at the loud exclamation. He did end up spilling his drink all over his lap. As he went to yell at the idiot who'd interrupted his precious break time, though, his words got stuck in his craw when he saw who the interloper was.
Fangs. It's always the damn canines.
"Hey again! Remember me?" Shino remembered the cute guy from the cafeteria alright. Especially that grin. Before he could figure out the least awkward response, though, the cute guy continued, "Of course you don't, that's weird. But I recognize you!"
"Really?" Shino managed. The last time we met, I was wearing a mask and a hair net. Maybe this is...?
The cute guy nodded vigorously, "Your flavour! You're a really good chef, man. You also cook in the Konoha U cafeteria near the west gate, right?"
Shino's fluttering heart came down to earth with a crash. Oh.
Still, he was impressed that this guy could recognize his cooking like that. Half the time, he wasn't even cooking in the cafeteria, just serving.
"... Thanks."
"What's your name?" He was so energetic. Shino was exhausted already.
"Shino."
"Nice to meet you, man. I'm -"
"Kiba! Get your ass back here and stop stalking the chef!" A shout from the front interrupted Kiba before he could introduce himself. Shino watched, fascinated, as the boyish grin turned to bright red embarrassment in a split second.
"Go fuck yourself!" He hollered back, but he couldn't meet Shino's eyes any more. Instead, he flashed him an awkward smile as he turned around to head back into the dining area, muttering something like, "see you 'round."
He left Shino baffled, confused, and despite his best judgement, a little bit charmed.
It's always the damn fangs.
(」＞＜)」
Konoha U reels as our most eligible bachelor officially declares himself off the market in a VERY public declaration. Handholding - how sexy! Okay, we know it wasn't the most effusive of declarations from Konoha's resident hunk, but for a guy who's famous for keeping his distance from any women (or men for that matter), that was a declaration of love! Anyone else swoon at the little tug? SWOON.
Anyone recognize his well-endowed lady love, though? I guess that hair is a dead obvious giveaway, but I don't know how famous the second prettiest girl in second year is. Still, seeing her today, I do have to wonder how she made second - maybe it was all the desperate guys in CS. Personally, I heard that Uchiha-senpai could have aimed higher on the list... who knows why he went for number 2? Maybe it has something to do with the size of her personality.
♡(>ᴗ•)
Ino wasn't sure how she got back to her dorm room. Only the thought of a gymnasium full of people witnessing her even slightly react kept her chin high and her smile nondescript until the door closed behind her.
Then she buried her head in her pillow and let the heartache wash over her.
It's just a crush. C'mon girl. You've barely talked to the dude. Still, she had been earnest and public about her crush, and she wasn't looking forward to the whispers that were bound to follow her for a while.
Chin up, chest out. It's not the first time you've had to deal with this.
"Ino-chan! Have you seen the forums?!" Kin burst through the door and shoved her phone in Ino's face. Ino batted it away, not wanting to face public humiliation just yet, but Kin insisted, "Look! Gossip Girl thinks you have a chance with Uchiha-senpai!"
"Who?" Ino took her phone reluctantly to read the forum post.
"You know, Gossip Girl! No one knows who she is, but she's always first with scandal and gossip. A bunch of people follow her account because they don't want to miss anything. She also reviews a bunch of restaurants and cafes near campus, and she's always right about them too," Kin gushed, distracted for a minute.
"I've never heard of her," Ino muttered, but at Kin's crestfallen look, she added hastily, "I'm not on the forums all that much."
"You should! But that's not the point, look! She thinks you'd be more suited to Uchiha-senpai and people are agreeing with her. Besides, how many guys stay with their first girlfriend? I think you just have to give it a few months and -"
Ino couldn't bear to listen to her prattle any more so she interrupted her friend's monologue, "Kin. Right now, I just need someone to watch sappy romcoms and eat ice cream with. Can we do that? Please?"
Kin looked like she wanted to say something, but changed her mind and nodded, "Caramel Vanilla, with extra sprinkles?"
"You're the best," Ino smiled. As soon as the door closed behind her roommate though, she cracked open her computer to find that post. She was sick and tired of this stupid virtual beauty contest being brought up, especially when it was used to bash other women. But when she went to respond, the latest comments caught her eye.
sharperfruitcake: If Haruno-san isn't pretty, I pity the rest of us.
loachtrap: I can't find the one for second years. Did we skip that year?
Puzzled, Ino went back to her chat with Kin, where Kin had pinned the link in their messages in some sweet but misguided pride, and found the link to that stupid ranking. When she followed it through, though, all she saw was a 404 page not found error.
What in the world was going on?
(・・ ) ?
"A drink!" One of the other graduating seniors who was already sloshed roared, pointing an open beer at Sasuke, "For Uchiha! The man who captured the heart of our department beauty! May our own fertile water not flow into other departments' fla... fall...,"
"Chikara, you're drunk," His neighbour clapped him on the back.
He tried to drag him back into his chair, but Chikara obstinately shook his head, insisting, "A drink!"
"The forums also voted you two the least likely couple last week." Kiba teased him, wiggling his eyebrows.
"This forum ranking method seems inaccurate," Sasuke said.
The whole team went silent, as if they couldn't believe what they were hearing, and turned to stare at him as one. Sasuke just stared back at them, daring them all to disagree.
Naruto broke first. One by one, like dominos collapsing, Kiba, then Chouji, then the rest of the team started laughing like hyenas, collapsing all over each other in their hysteria. Even Shika chuckled a little.
"You know what, Sasuke? You go, protect your girl," Kiba finally managed, wiping a tear away from his eye.
Sasuke gave him a look, then turned to Chouji. "Let me borrow your laptop."
"I didn't bring it."
Sasuke raised his eyebrow at him, then got up.
"Where's he going?" Chikara slurred.
"Leave him alone, he's going to do his thing." Naruto waved dismissively. "Hey Shikamaru, your girlfriend is roommates with Sakura-chan, right? Do you know what happened with the whole beauty ranking thing?"
"Someone submitted Haruno-san's picture before they could, and it was a bad angle or something. Temari was complaining about that for weeks," Shikamaru scratched his ear absentmindedly.
"No wonder! Don't get me wrong, Yamananka's hot and all, but I wouldn't have voted for Haruno based on the pictures if she hadn't been in CS. Gotta stand up for our girls, you know."
"With the pictures she had, it was a stretch to get second," Kiba added knowingly, "They were really bad pics."
"Someone was definitely trolling her."
"We should find out who! We're the CS department, aren't we? What's a little whitehat hacking for one of our own?"
"I don't think we'll need to," Naruto grinned.
"Why? We should stand up for Haruno!"
"Justice for Haruno!"
"Justice for Haruno!"
"Justice for Haruno!"
Before the chant could get any louder, Sasuke's icy voice cut into the din, "I can get justice for my own girlfriend." He unceremoniously dropped back into his seat, open beer in hand.
"Listen, Sasuke, We know you're an amazing hacker and everything, but these are the school forums."
"We wanna help. More heads must be better than one."
"Yeah, man, they gotta be encrypted, nearly impenetrable-"
"You motherfucker, you actually did it!" Kiba yelled, thrusting his phone into Sasuke's face. "The beauty rankings are all gone! Dammit Sasuke!"
Naruto started laughing again as he checked another forum post. "So is that ranking that voted you guys least likely couple."
Sasuke blinked innocently over the top of his beer bottle as he took a drink, "Why bother keeping inaccurate data?"
( ^ ___ ^ )
AN: Sasuke's already throwing around the g word without asking; naughty naughty, Sasuke-kun
Ahahahaha so yeah it's been a while. It's just that season of life for me; but I am hoping to eke out more time for writing, so maybe it won't be so many months until the next update. I make no promises though; as soon as I try, life seems to be determined to
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