I pulled up to the building, a building I had never been the one to drive to before but had been in many times. I scanned my eyes around the car park, taking note of cars I had grown to recognise over the last while. My brain was telling me to drive off again, and my heart was telling me to do the opposite.

Today marks four full months since I gave Liam my decision and four months since I removed Leah's number from my phone in an effort to stop calling her. I hadn't spoken to Rhys in four months. Despite all of this, life was going as smoothly as it could. My workload had dramatically increased, but it was a welcome distraction from the constant heaviness I felt in my heart.

I let the voice in my head tell me to stop overthinking the past, forcing my body out of the car and into the building through the doors. I pressed the up button on the elevator, which popped open straight away. Exiting the elevator on the top floor, I took a deep breath and began to walk until I was at my destination. I knocked three times, each knock separated by a one-second silence.

Taking a step back, my heart began to beat out of my chest, a rush of excitement gently flowing through my veins. The door opened slightly at first, with a shocked and bewildered face greeting me.

"Sophie?" Leah spoke.
"Hi Leah." I half smiled.
"What - what're you doing here?" She said confused.
"I was hoping we could talk. I hate that we don't talk." I sighed.
"Eh, yeah. Wait there. I'll grab my coat." Leah stuttered before shutting the door in my face.

I understood; I had just landed here after all. My understanding, however, didn't stop me from wondering if I had made the wrong decision. I suppose I had thought this might turn out like a love story. I would show up, Leah would pull me into her arms, we would kiss and make up, and we would live happily ever after.

I soon found out that love stories are only in films.

Leah gently opened the door again, a small smile appearing on her face before her head bowed to the ground and she began walking alongside me. I didn't know where we were going, but I followed, trusting her to lead me somewhere that would become the place we reconnected.

We walked in silence to a coffee shop, where Leah ordered two hot chocolates and brought them over. I noticed she kept lifting her eyes to look at me, but she dropped them when I looked back. As she approached with the two mugs, she took a seat opposite me, staring into the cream that covered the hot drink.

"I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again." Leah spoke quietly.
"Me neither. I hoped it would just happen, but then I remembered I told you these things required effort." I said, in an attempt to remind her of our better times.
"Soph, listen -"
"No, Leah. Please. Let me go first?"
"Okay. I just feel like I should -"
"You said I could go first. I still love you, just as much as I did back then. I can't stop thinking about you. I love Ireland; I love how quiet it is; I love the sense of community that it has; and I love that I'm just down the road from my family. The thing is, though, that I love you more. So I want you to know that I -"
"Sophie, wait. Stop. I've met someone."

Leah's words shattered my heart more than I had ever experienced before. It felt like a bomb had erupted in my chest. I felt the colour drain from my face, and my knees rattled together under the table as I attempted to swallow my tears.

"Oh. Wow. That's great! Good. Happy days. Brilliant." Shut the fuck up, Sophie.

"I didn't expect it; I didn't expect to be with anyone else; it just happened." Leah sighed, knowing I hadn't come here expecting that.
"Yeah, no. Em - yeah. I'm happy for you. And her. Whoever she is. I'm glad you're happy." I said, trying to pull it back.
"I'm sorry, Sophie."
"Don't be. I was just too late. I'm really glad you're happy." I said as I stood from the table.

Leah followed; my car was parked outside her apartment building, so it made sense for us to walk back together. As I said goodbye, Leah pulled me into a hug. My body immediately relaxed at her touch, making this even harder. I pulled away from her grip, beginning to walk the other way, before her voice stopped me.

"What're you doing in London anyway?"
"I took the job." I sighed.
"What? Why didn't you tell me?"
"You blocked me on everything." I sighed again.
"I had to. You'll never know why, but I had to make that decision." Leah said, her eyes now filled with tears.
"I know why you did it. I know Rhys texted you. I haven't spoken to him since I found out. I was always going to take the job, Le. I just didn't know it yet. I had to choose between my past and our future, so I chose our future. It was silly. I shouldn't have just expected that things would turn out how I wanted." I said, taking more steps to my car.
"Why didn't you come sooner?" Leah shouted as she began to sob, the pain clear in her voice.
"Because I was terrified that the answer would be no, I suppose." I shrugged.
"What made you come tonight, then?" She asked.
"It's your mum's birthday tomorrow; the date reminded me that I promised her I would love you forever. I will, just from a distance, though. I'm really glad you're happy, Le."

And with that, I hurried to my car. I didn't want to give Leah the chance to apologise for making herself happy again. This was on me. It was me who made her feel unworthy; it was my brother who warned her to leave me. I didn't cry, at least not in the car; I simply felt a slight warmth in my heart that Leah would get a hug tonight from someone she was with. I felt happy that Leah would have support.

I entered my own apartment, staring at the walls that were lined with memories from Ireland. I was left alone again after another relationship, but this time I had caused it. This time, I had to accept it. What-ifs, maybes, and could've beens couldn't take over my mind.

I slipped into bed that night, finally deleting that album that was full of pictures of Leah and me. Relationship ending recovery number 2. This time in London. Come on, Sophie. You can do this.