As Edward stood there in front of her, his hand stretched out for her to take, Esther failed to see the deception in his eyes. 

All she could see was honesty, love and happiness, and adoration for her.  His eyes shone like that of a child who has just been given a plate full of his favourite pie, and it was maddening because despite it being afront her eyes she could now not bring herself to believe it. However, she didn't believe the otherwise as well. 

It was too difficult for her to see him as a traitor who apparently had been conspiring all this time to break her heart at her wedding aisle, or perhaps even later, and that he did not truly love her at all, as he said, as she felt it when she saw him in that garden reuniting Florence with Leo for her happiness, when he came to her in that chapel, when he put that ring around her neck, when he touched her, when he kissed her. She felt the love that now was supposed to be a lie. It was beyond possible to comprehend. Her thoughts were a mess.

His eyes didn't carry even the tiniest speck of guilt or lies for her to catch and justify treating him as she should, not that she knew how that was. If this was a week ago, she could swear she saw it, heavy guilt weighing down his eyelids, lies making his lips quiver every time he said a word to her. It was almost evident. But now it was gone, or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was exactly there, just like it had been all this time, she just didn't want to see it anymore.

Can love really make one so blind? Can it really change things so much as one cannot see the right from the wrong? The delusion from reality?

Love is the enemy of reason, she knew of it when she found herself slipping her hand into Edward's and as he kissed it she knew was too deep in trouble to scurry herself out of it anymore.

Edward walked her to the floor in a hurry almost pulling her behind him. "I was planning to only dance with you again when you had become my wife but this is something that just couldn't wait," he said as they found their place on the dance floor. 

"What?" Esther asked plainly. 

The music had hit notes and they had started moving with the beats. "Well there are a few questions you must answer for me, you see you know me now, all of me, from my truths to my lies, my masks and my masquerades, it is all in front of you but I have just come to realise-" 

They exchanged partners before he could complete his statement. Esther's eyes followed him like if she blinked he would disappear. 

"Realise what?" Esther asked the moment they reunite, not knowing herself what it was that she expected to hear but being impatient nevertheless. If only he could say something that could overweight the accusations that now marked his face every time she looked up at him. 

"That, my dear Esther, I do not know you well at all." 

"I see." She muttered, almost inaudible and took her expectant eyes that now carried disappointment, off his face. From over his shoulder, her eyes met Nate's and the look on his tight face caused a pang of pain and realisation to shoot through her chest. He looked confused, yet angry and enraged to his core, but also in pain. 

It was as if Esther was seeing her own reflection in his face. 

Her face curled only slightly as she failed to contain her emotions and Nate was already storming toward them. The thunder in his gaze was enough for Esther to know for certain, she did not wish to know what he held on his tongue, or behind the fist that he was clenching with all his might. She jumped out of Edward's hand sooner than she needed to, he looked at her quizzically for a second before she resumed dancing with another gentleman. 

Her eyes jumped to Nate, who had stopped in his steps, fortunately, perhaps taken aback by her unexpected halt. She shook her head and begged him to stop and stay there. A vein tightened at Nate's forehead but he obeyed. 

"Esther, are you alright?" Florence's voice made her realise she was dancing next to her wearing the most worried expression.

"Ah, of course, Flo," Esther replied with a smile that seemed too heavy to carry for long. "I am marvellous." She added and looked away as Edward joined her again.

"You missed a foot there?" He asked soon as she was in his arms, his eyes read concern and confusion. It almost made Esther want to not hurt him.

"Y- yes. Yes, I slipped." She lied. "You were saying?" 

"Asking." He corrected with the cock of an eyebrow. 

"Yes, asking." She repeated. "What was it that you asked again?" 

Edward's eyes squinted at her question but he did not waste much time. "I intended to know of your favourite colour." There was a sudden uneasiness in his voice now. 

"It is, well. I- I prefer reds and even blues, sometimes, greens are nice too." she fumbled. A lot was happening in her head, and keeping up with the music and the talking was getting more difficult by the minute. 

"I see," Edward noted one nod tautly. 

"I assume I love them all." 

"They all look beautiful on you, Esther." He added and she managed an almost smile before looking away again. 

Nate was still standing too close to the dance floor, with his fists tight on his sides, ready to lash at Edward as he got the chance. Florence was now looking at her intently from whatever angle she could manage. Esther was however too tired to put a smile on her face for them at that moment, she felt it was much better to hide behind Edward's broad shoulders as they came together again.

"What drinks do you love the most?" He asked after a few short moments of silent dancing.

"I like them all, they are all equally-" she paused to find a good word, "pleasant?" she added looking up at him.

"Indeed," he replied looking back at her with equal intent. His eyes seemed to be doing things more than he was letting on. He kept her prisoned with his gaze for a little longer before she found an escape in the change of partners. 

This time it was Edward and his eyes that followed her every step until she was back with him. This was now getting really tiring and the orchestra seemed to see no stop. 

"Tell me Esther, have you any preferences in terms of fabrics or do you also love them all equally?" Edward asked, once again demanding her attention. 

Esther's brows furrowed at his tone, "Yes, I suppose. They are all perfectly fine, but I might prefer one over the other depending on the season and use." 

"I see." His answer came almost instantly, one would think he did not even hear her fully before responding. "Esther, are you alright? I feel you are not." He asked immediately after. 

"I am alright." She said and tried to let free of his hand to change partners but he did not budge. 

"But you seem not." He insisted, still holding onto her waist. The next gentleman stood there waiting for him to let her go so he could resume but there was no sign.

"Edward, you- you are disrupting the dance." She whispered to him in urgency as the procession around them began to slow down. 

"Do you feel sick, Esther? Should I be calling for someone from the infirmary?" He asked paying no heed to her request. The dancers around them were now gossipers and murmurs could be heard louder than the music. 

"No!" She exclaimed only softly. "No, I am just exhausted, and-" 

"Esther, what-" 

"What is the matter-"

"My dear, are you alright?" 

"Esther?" 

Soon she was encircled by multiple well-wishers, all attempting a conversation with her that she did not wish to have at all. 

"She seems, tired," Edward told Nate when he walked ahead and pulled Esther from him. 

"I want to go home, brother." She whispered to Nate, "now." 

"Yes." was all he said and they were already halfway past the garden walking out of the Radcliffe Estate leaving the interested crowd and Edward in a party that was now as silent as a library.

Throughout the muted ride home, Nate had his eyes pinned on Esther, her hands in his grasp. She knew he had questions for her, she could tell by the way his breathing seemed to change patterns every few minutes, however, she had no answers for him, or herself. She rested her head on his shoulder to avoid them and fortunately, he thought it better to not disturb her. But that was only until they reached the Sherborne residence.

Esther jumped off the carriage even before the horses had stopped completely, Nate did not have time to catch up to her until she had walked down the pavement and was entering the Sherborne drawing room which was fortunately now emptier than usual, considering how all the house staff was given a day off that afternoon on the occasion of Miss Lewis' wedding, saving Miss Sherborne the embarrassment of having finally cried in the public notice for the first time in her entire existence of twenty years. 

"Esther, sit here, please, let me call for some wate-no, I will bring you some myself, in a minute. Just-" He spoke through stammers as he tried to sit her on a sofa forcing her down by her slumped shoulders. 

"No." Esther didn't let him push her down and instead brushed his hands off her shoulder and tried to make it towards the staircase. 

"Esther, we need to talk." Nate stepped in her path and held her by her shoulders again. His hold was softer this time, however, the same couldn't be said about the look in his eyes. 

Esther understood where his emotions were coming from, even though she did not understand much apart from that, and hence it only made everything so much more difficult. She needed him gone, she needed solitude. "Nate, let go of me," she slid his hands off again, "I need to-" she had no idea what it was that she needed but she definitely was in need of something, desperately.

"Esther, you must tell me, what was tha-" 

"Nate, please,"  Esther took a step back before her brother held her in his weakening hold again. "let me just come back. I shall be back, very soon." She did not wish to cry, not yet. Not when she had no idea what she was to cry for. Not when she was in no place to tell him what she was crying for when she herself did not know. She just couldn't afford to cry.

Nathaniel had taken caution in her alert actions and made sure to not take another step toward her.  "Back from where Esther?" he asked feebly, gently, but Esther could not help but notice the tensing nerve on his forehead. 

"From-" she did not know, "from my room. My bedroom." she managed calmly when every nerve of her body screamed impatience, "I will be quick, I need to compose my- um thoughts," she added from behind gritted teeth. 

She didn't need to compose her thoughts, or maybe she did, later. She did not know, she did not know if she had any thoughts to compose at all, to begin with. What she needed was to take a breath. She couldn't breathe there, in all that confusion, emotions and that freaking corset clawing on her ribs. 

"Esther," Nate all but whispered with a seriousness Esther had never heard in his voice. "sister, what is happening?" 

An unknown defeat weighed her shoulders down even further. She wanted to give him an answer, he needed an answer. He deserved an answer, but what was she to even do? What could she do? She was just as deprived of one as he, perhaps even more.

This was a mess. 

"I shall tell you when I know brother, I shall tell you when I know," she told him biting down on her inner lip and jolted to her bedroom up the stairs.