Harley and Peter were in a competition of sorts without even knowing it. Both teenagers were trying to reach out to the genius. They were calling and texting almost every day. Peter was winning thanks to the sheer amount of calls but Harley was number one at leaving actual messages. Tony didn't know why he was keeping his phone on. It was cruel for all of them. He couldn't answer even if he wanted to. He couldn't bring them down with him. Things weren't getting better on the contrary.. He listened to every single message though. Many times over.

Harley was angry. The world was going against his father for what? For listening to them? That made him mad. Tony was his father even if they weren't related by blood, even though they had never really talked about it. What was there to talk about anyway? They were connected. Their link had become deeper with the years. Tony didn't have to stick around but he had always taken the time to listen to him, to help him when he could. It wasn't about the money or the fame. Harley's workshop had been upgraded but Tony never interfered with their life unless they asked him to. Harley knew that the genius would have done anything for the Keeners. The teenager didn't want the money. What they had was worth so much more.

Now Tony was leaving him. Somehow it felt worse than when his actual father had left him. His real dad had gone to 7-Eleven to get scratchers and Harley guessed he won because he never came back. The situation with Tony was different. The old man was probably staying away because he wanted to protect them. The world was against him and by extension against anybody who would have stayed by his side. It wasn't that hard to understand. Tony was always the one to sacrifice himself. Harley wanted to know what had happened in Siberia. It was the pivotal moment that had changed everything, he knew it.

Peter was calling to tell the genius about his day. How he had stopped a burglar. How he had helped an old lady and got a churros for his troubles. The teenager was struggling with it all. Germany, the accords, the world. Peter had such a big heart, he just couldn't understand what was happening. Happy was there to help as much as he could. That was good. May was Peter's anchor like she always had been since the death of his parents. Tony could hear how the young man's voice was losing its cheerfulness, its light. The world and Tony in particular - the genius knew that all too well - were killing Peter's innocence little by little. Taking Spiderman to that battle in Leipzig was one of Tony's biggest mistakes.

Tony wanted nothing more but to reach out for them. Out of everybody, they were the ones who deserved that mess the less. The genius would have wanted to take them from it all and fix everything for them. He was the mechanic, that was what he did but this time he couldn't. Tony knew himself well enough by now to know he wasn't in a good place. Tony could self-destruct like nobody else's business. He always had. That was probably his super power. Despite his flamboyant persona, expressing himself had always been difficult to him when it counted. Taking the teenagers down with him was too much of a risk.

Afghanistan had opened his eyes to the consequences of his actions. Ultron had put a face on his victims. Charles Spencer had no business dying so young. Of coursen that wasn't what Tony had wanted. The Ultron program was meant to protect the world, to build a shield around the planet. Good intentions never changed anything. He had been trying to be better, to help more people. The lives he had saved would never replace the ones lost because of him. He owned up to his mistakes and tried to improve himself even now.

Harley and Peter were the ones he was fighting for now. He was a futurist, Clint had told him so. Tony wanted to save the world for them, so they could live on and do wonderful things with their lives. They would do great things, so much better than him. Tony was not a good adult presence to be around them. He had been told that quite enough. Natasha loved to remind him of his failures. There were plenty.

Not being good enough was a constant in Tony Stark's life. He was trying though. He should have done better, been better. His arrogance was a front masking how unworthy of everything he actually felt. People would never try to look past the mask. They would have seen the same child who wanted his father just to look at him. Howard had been replaced by Stane and then by the team. Shield had made him a consultant because he simply couldn't be trusted. The genius had wanted an approval that he would never get, not for the right reasons.

Natasha's report was maybe more accurate than he wanted to believe. She had seen right through him. He wasn't a good man and he should stop pretending to be one. Changing was hard but did he really try? He tried to do so for Rhodey and Pepper but it wasn't enough. He wasn't enough.

Alone in the emptiness of space, he couldn't listen to anything but his own thoughts. He wasn't of good company. He had bad days and then he had worse ones. It was difficult to differentiate them most of the time. Tony had work to do, he knew that but most of the time he couldn't even get out of bed. Sleep rarely came for him. When it did, it was not a relaxing one. The nightmares were plenty. Afghanistan, Ultron, Siberia or even his friend turning against him. The exhaustion was following him everywhere like a shadow, always close behind. It was not a physical problem. Extremis had repaired his body even more than he had planned. Everything was in his head.

His brain was a gift and a curse at the same time. It was capable of greatness but also stupid things. Tony didn't know when to stop. He wanted to make everything better since Afghanistan without realising that he was making things worse. Before, the genius had thought that everything was as alright as it could be in his life. He had friends, he was a hero. That was a lie of course, because Tony just didn't want to see the cracks in the mirror. He couldn't see anything else now. It was a wonder he was still holding up together. Was he really?

"Boss, you should eat something. You've been in bed for 36 hours now. You need nourishment." Friday told him, worried.

Wasn't that just ironic. Before, he could spend days without sleep, tinkering in the workshop for hours on end. His sofa was more than comfortable for one or two micro naps here and there. Now, most of the time, he didn't have the will to get out of bed. Tony went to the kitchen area just to please his baby girl. He wasn't hungry.

Porridge was his meal of choice lately because, at least, it was kind of filling. He could always put fruit, jam or chocolate chips to change the taste depending on what was left in the pantry. Then again, Tony would have to change soon because he was running out of everything. He wasn't too keen on going for another shopping trip right now. His motivation barely there in the first place was completely gone. He could probably get Friday to organise something so he wouldn't have to move.

His baby girl was already worried as it was. Concern filled her voice each time they talked. Tony was stuck in a vicious circle. His motivation was at an all time low. The things he used to love had no appeal anymore. The things he should be doing started to pile up and now Tony was feeling overwhelmed by everything. He was a failure.

Sometimes, Tony would spend hours staring into nothingness. He had no idea of what his thoughts were during those moments. For so long, his brain had been working in overdrive. So many ideas were coming to his mind at any given time. Stark Industries had benefited from that for a long time even though they never really respected his brain. Now, it was completely blank, quiet. That should have him worried. He wasn't. He was relieved.

Wakanda's security wasn't as good as they thought. The country had been in isolation for so long, they had probably become arrogant regarding their technology. The rest of the world wasn't that far away now, especially not Tony. Friday had been able to hack their system without being seen. She actually had a metaphorical eye everywhere on the planet now.

Tony wanted to watch his old team in the compound. He didn't even know why. They loved talking and raging about him. Wanda and Clint were really harsh with their words. Steve and the others were not contradicting them either. They felt as if they had won that particular battle against the genius. The accords had been modified for them. The world was on their side. Yes they had won, there was no denying it. Had Tony been there, they would have demanded apologies. Steve was always talking about them being a team, a family. They would just need to keep an eye on him and have him do what he was meant to do from the start. Billionaire mechanics weren't superhero material but they could back up the real ones.

Everything was obviously Tony's fault. They weren't that wrong. The genius wasn't worth anything to them. The Avengers had already proven that. The moment they started expecting something from him, it became business not love, not friendship. Perhaps Tony needed a last confirmation. When would it be the right one that would make him stop crawling back?

Tony was missing Rhodey the most, despite his harsh words. His brother from another mother had been in a very difficult situation during that phone call. The colonel had been a constant since the genius was fourteen. Even when Rhodes was deployed somewhere, they had managed to keep in touch. Fights were not uncommon between them. The silence between them had never been that long.

Would Tony have stayed to fight another if Pepper and Rhodey had been at his side? He wasn't so sure now. He had pushed them away before, during the palladium poisoning. He wanted to be hated, so when he passed away, they wouldn't be sad. Tony had managed it now that he didn't want it anymore. It hadn't been his choice this time but he had to respect that.

'You're worthless'.

Those words have been in his mind since Siberia. In his own twisted way, Howard had tried to prepare him to face that simple fact. His own father didn't have time for his unique son. Why did Tony expect for anybody else to see something in him when his own father couldn't? Howard wanted him to be more like Captain America. The man was perfect in every way. Howard had spent years looking for him, neglecting his own family. Tony doubted that his father would have been sad if the great Steve Rogers had killed his only son.

For all his genius, he was an idiot and pretty naive. Even at his old age. He was just hanging on for now. If only things could move on. How long would it take for the rest of the Chitauri army to come and finish the job? He was quite sure that the little preparation he did would come to nothing in the end. Tony just wanted to try, even if he died while doing so.

"How is the world going, Friday?" he asked, tired with his own mind. "Still the same?"

"Well changing a little..."