"Jesus, Nikki, you look like shit."

Despite the insult, Caroline has a wide grin on her face, and her eyes shine with thinly veiled mirth.

"I thought vacations were supposed to be restful. Guess Shay didn't let you sleep much."

The implication is clear, and I can feel my eye twitching with agitation. Scowling, I attempt to shut the door of my apartment on my exasperating friend, but she scrambles to block the frame with her foot.

"Oh, come on!" She laughs, unperturbed by my rudeness and she re-opens the door and welcomes herself inside. "I'm just joking."

"Whatever." I sigh, and motion her into the living room.

Truth be told, Caroline is right. I do look like shit. Though physically healed and having been given the official clear to return to my normal, human life, sleep has been a fleeting thing as of late. Some of it stems from playing the catch-up game in school. Missing more than one day in multiple classes has proven a royal pain, and I've spent the last few days sacrificing sleep to work on studying the sections I've missed. Today is the first time all week I've forgone going to the library.

However, school hasn't been the only reason for my restless nights.

After spending three nights sleeping beside Shay, curled against the warmth of her body, returning to the cool sheets of my own bed has been surprisingly difficult. I hadn't been expecting the loneliness that consumed me after leaving the protective net of comfort woven by my mentor. Even my cats offered little solace. Stupid werewolf codependency.

Needless to say, I deny this fact most ardently in the face of Caroline's teasing smile.

"Remind me to never miss school again." I grumble as I plop down onto the couch, already pulling my laptop back into my lap to continue with the study marathon. "It's not worth getting behind."

Caroline heaves a sigh, and settles down next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. It's the first time we've seen one another since I returned from the Catskills. Our only prior interaction has been via text message. Her presence is soothing.

"Well, at least you had fun, right? You ended up staying longer than expected."

I bite my lip, mulling over the lies I've been practicing in my head for days now.

"Yeah, it was fun. The mountains and the cabin were beautiful." I try not to picture the wreckage; shattered wood, broken glass, and so, so much blood...my last view of Marian and Kendra's vacation home. I close my eyes against the sadness, and shut my laptop, no longer able to focus.

"Yeah? And what about Miss. Kerrigan?"

This is something I don't have to lie about, thankfully. Blushing slightly, I offer my friend a weary smile. "Shay was great."

Caroline lights up. "Oh, great how? Please tell me you mean great in bed."

I roll my eyes, and playfully swat my friend's knee. Should have seen that reaction coming. "No. No sexy times were had...but we did share a bed."

"Omg, are you serious?" Caroline whoops, gripping me by both shoulders and shaking me. "You must have the self-control of a saint, because even I would try experimenting if I shared a bed with Miss Kerrigan. Please tell me you at least kissed her?"

My face heats, and I try to ignore the way my heart pounds at the prospect of pressing my lips to Shay's. It's not an unpleasant fantasy. Would she be a good kisser? Probably. "No, no kissing." I sigh, trying to ignore the nervous, giddy feeling in my stomach. Gross.

Caroline frowns and opens her mouth, probably to berate me, but I silence her with a smirk.

"She's nice to cuddle with, though. Not too overbearing, as far as big spoons go."

I watch with amusement as my friend's jaw drops -quiet for a rare second- before she erupts into giggles and slings her arms around my neck. "Finally, some progress! It's about damn time, T. I thought lesbians were supposed to be faster than hetros when it came to relationships."

"Yeah, well, I'm sort of strapped for cash so I can't afford a U-Haul." I tease with a smile. "Besides, right now, I'm enjoying the whole friendly thing we got going on."

"Friends with cuddly benefits." Caroline corrects with a waggle of her eyebrows.

"God you're stupid." I groan, only to start giggling a second later. Caroline's particular brand of humor has always been therapeutic.

My friend joins in with the laughter, reclining comfortably against the arm of the couch. "So, when are you seeing her again?" She asks with a coyly raised brow.

I avert my eyes and give a noncommittal shrug, trying to sound impassive. "Tonight, actually."

"Oh?" Caroline's raised eyebrow inches a fraction higher.

Another shrug. "Yeah. We're just going to the gym, though."

Now Caroline's expression become skeptical. "You? Going to a gym? Nikki, you hate the gym."

"That's for sure." I sigh.

"She's not pressuring you into this or anything, right? I mean, I know Shay is like insanely fit, but that doesn't mean you have to be, ya know?"

"It's nothing like that." I chuckle, shaking my head as I try to reassure my friend. "I actually asked her for some self-defense training. Apparently, she's pretty good at it."

"Self-defense?" Caroline parrots. I nod.

"Yeah. Since gun laws aren't as lax here as they are in Texas, I figured I'd better brush up on some unarmed combat in case someone decides to mug me for the whole two dollars in my wallet."

Caroline shakes her head with a laugh. "Now who's stupid."

"Still you." I stick my tongue out and earn a smack to the back of the head.

Though loath to admit it, lying like this is getting easier with each passing day. The realization leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, knowing its becoming second nature. I berate myself internally, because Caroline deserves better...but I'm too selfish to sacrifice our friendship. My smile tightens, and I find myself unable to maintain eye contact.

"Sooooo, what are your plans for the evening?" I ask, changing the subject away from my own life.

The spirited blonde sighs and makes a face. "Working on my research paper. Though all I really want to do is drink a bottle of wine and watch Netflix."

"Ah, the life of a grad student." I sigh in camaraderie.

"Tell me again why we don't just drop out and become strippers?"

"A combination of too much self-respect, and the desire for health insurance and a decent retirement plan."

Caroline snorts with laugher. She wiggles closer and places her head back on my shoulder. "Glad you're back, Texas. I missed you."

My heart feels warm. Full. It's a nice feeling. I press a sloppy kiss into the golden crown of my friend's hair. "Back at you, Cha-Chi. Thanks again for watching the twins. Hope they didn't give you any trouble."

"Nah, they were good. Needy, but good."

"Wanna grab something to eat real fast? My treat for cat-sitting."

Now that grabs Caroline's attention. She's up off the couch almost as soon the offer is out of my mouth. "I never say no to free food."

"Ain't that the truth." I smirk, accepting her hand as I too get to my feet.

We dine in at our usual place, talking casually about school, recent gossip, work, and numerous silly things. When we return to my apartment, still giggling over some dumb joke, I realize just how much I needed this. After all the stress stemming from the attack in the mountains, my injuries, and school, Caroline's presence serves as a grounding force. I can't resist the urge to wrap my arms around her in a traditional bear hug. She returns the gesture, of course, without question.

"Thanks for going to dinner with me, Cha-Chi. It was really nice getting to hang out."

"Any time." Caroline smiles. "Next time It'll be my treat." Her eyes flicker over to the clock. "What time are you meeting with Shay?"

I check the time, cringing when I realize it's already getting late. "Soon, actually. She should be here to pick me up in like the next 15 min. Shit, I gotta get changed!"

Caroline follows me to my room, where I slip into some workout clothes; compression leggings and a worn shirt. Comfortable, airy, and easy to move in. I must be somewhat cautious while changing in front of Caroline, however. Though no longer injured, my body still bears the signs of my battle. I've got some new scars that are probably going to take some time to fade. Thankfully, Caroline is too preoccupied with sprawling out over my bed and snuggling with Micky to notice.

My doorbell rings while I'm in the process of pinning my hair up into a loose, messy bun. I've still got a Bobby pin in my mouth as I answer the door, offering a timid grin to the she-wolf who stands out in the hall. Caroline is considerably less reserved.

As always, Shay looks like she just stepped out of a photo shoot. She's wearing a navy-blue sports jacket, dark grey leggings, and comfortable looking running shoes. In particular, the leggings are highly flattering; they make her legs look impossibly long, and don't even get my started on the cut of her ass. Lord help me. Her short black hair is casually windblown, and I'm stuck with the compulsion to run my fingers through it. From behind me, Caroline whistles in appreciation.

"Hey there, Shay. You're looking very athletic this evening."

Shay's smirk is playfully sultry as she steps inside. She winks at Caroline. "Thank you for noticing. It's good to see you again, Caroline."

When her jewel-like eyes find mine, there's a shift in the atmosphere. Her smile changes, becoming less silly, and more genuine. It's the first time we've seen each other all week. Shay had been adamant about giving me some space to get the aspects of my human life in order. There's no way I could have prepared myself for the rush of emotions I feel seeing her now.

As a human, I know it's silly, and melodramatic. But as a wolf, I can't help myself. When Shay opens her arms, wordlessly offering an invitation, I step into her embrace without hesitation. Instinctively, I nuzzle into the warm cleft where her throat meets her shoulder, relishing in the now familiar scent of her. In turn, Shay sighs into my hair, then breathes deep.

"Hey Rabbit." The she-wolf croons, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Hi." I murmur back, though I know words are a trivial, unnecessary thing when we're like this. The emotions ebb and flow between us, like the ocean tide, conveyed through the lingering touch of our skin.

She's missed me, even in this brief time apart, and I've missed her just as much.

Caroline clears her thought quietly, reminding us that we're not alone. I have the decency to blush and pull away from Shay, though it's clear from the blonde's expression that she's not upset about being ignored. Quite the opposite, in fact. She looks rather pleased. The quintessential cat who ate the canary.

"I better run, Nikki." Caroline excuses herself with a smirk, side stepping out the door. "Don't have too much fun tonight." She punctuates her exit with a cheeky little wave, and I groan as my face burns. Even Shay is a little pink. Subtlety isn't exactly Caroline's specialty.

"Sorry about that." I apologize to Shay once were alone.

The she-wolf just shakes her head and snickers. "Heh, it's alright. She's a funny one, your Caroline. I can see why you like her."

"Yeah, she's pretty great." I agree. "She was my first friend here in New York. I was pretty lonely before she came into my life. Without Caroline, I wouldn't have met any of the others. I really lucked out with her."

It's brief, but for a moment there's a strange flash of emotion that flickers over Shay's features. I can't put a name to it, and without touching her I can't know for certain what I'd just seen. It's disconcerting; a fleeting reminder of the enigmatic woman I had first met. Back before I had come to know her.

Her flawless smile is back in place before I can ask. "You ready to go?"

"Sure thing." I nod, ignoring any lingering trepidation. "What's the plan, exactly?"

"We're heading to Central park for a warm up, then to a training facility that the pack owns. It's a glorified gym, really. You'll get a chance to do some sparring."

So much for an easy first day. "Sparring, on day one?" I cringe.

Shay smirks, clearly expecting my archetypal anxiety. "It's the best way to lean. But don't worry, Gavin will go easy on you."

"Gavin?" I brighten instantly at the familiar name. I hadn't been in contact with any of the other wolves since the mountain, having only received a few second-hand updates from Shay that everyone was recovering just fine from their injuries.

"Ay. He agreed to be your sparring partner."

"How generous." I chuckle. "I bet he can't wait to kick my ass."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." Shay assures me. "But first, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" Belatedly, I notice Shay has a rather large duffle bag slung over her shoulder, instantly peaking my interest.

"Ay." The she-wolf grins as she enters my living room to set the duffel bag down on the coffee table. I watch over her shoulder with avid curiosity as she unzips the bag and pulls something out.

It's not what I had been expecting, to say the least.

"Ta da!" Shay holds up what looks to be some sort of vest, like those worn by service dogs in the military. At first glance, it doesn't look like anything special, but when Shay tosses it to me without warning, I nearly drop it. It's heavy. Really heavy, in fact. The damn thing must weigh at least 300 lbs! Nearly triple my body weight. The real kicker, however, isn't the vest's weight. It's the decoration. Along one side of the vest are the words "Service Dog", while the other side features my unfortunate nickname, 'Rabbit'. All the lettering is in a garish, hot pink.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I deadpan. Surly, this must be a joke.

"Not at all. Weighted attire is common practice in resistance training. It's a good way to encourage muscle growth and improve stamina." Shay certainly sounds serious, but it's hard to take her as much while she's wearing such a tongue in cheek expression.

I throw the damn vest back at her, irritated that she catches it easily with one hand.

"No." I state matter of fact, my expression flat. Then, reiterate with more force. "Hell no."

Shay fake-pouts, her gemstone eyes bright with laughter. She's obviously getting a kick out of this, the bitch. "Aw, c'mon Rabbit. It's cute! At least try it on. I had it custom made for you."

"Of course, you did." My voice is half growl, half sigh. Really, I'm disappointed. I had been expecting Shay to take my plea to get stronger seriously! And here she was, mocking me.

My mentor must sense my souring mood because she frowns, and her expression becomes earnest. "Really, Nikole. It's not a joke. Ok, maybe the color and the nickname are a little much but think of it as a disguise. We need you to look non-threatening when we're out among humans. This is an easy way to help with that."

Deciding to give Shay the benefit of the doubt for at least a moment, I quirk a brow. "Why would we need to be out around people? Isn't that a pretty big liability?"

"It's a risk," The werewolf answers honestly, "If things were different I'd prefer to take you into the mountains for this, but considering everything that's happened..."

"This is the safer option." I finish, chewing my lip in contemplation.

Shay nods. "Yeah. Not to mention your school schedule. Most grad students don't have the time to take a few days off every week. So, we have to make do."

Damn, I hadn't expected her to be so thoughtful when it came to my education. Still, I'm nervous for an entirely different reason now. I eye the vest skeptically. "Will this really be ok?"

Another nod, this time accompanied by a small grin. "Yes. And I've already cleared the plan with Sitric. He's not worried. Humans tend to see what they expect, anyway. Their instinct is to is to try and rationalize the impossible. I mean, when you were bitten, you didn't think 'hey, that might be a wolf,' right? You figured it was a dog."

She has a point, and I admit as much.

"Good." Shay chirps. "Get changed then, so we can make sure it fits. I had to guess on your measurements."

Heaving a sigh, I admit defeat, resigned to go along with this ridiculous plan for the time being. I turn to head back to my room when Shay stops me.

"Where are you going?"

I look back at her over my shoulder, confused by the question. "Uh, to go get changed?"

Shay cocks her head, brows creased. "Why can't you do that here?"

When I hesitate to answer, shifting awkwardly on my feet, Shay sighs and shakes her head. "Honestly Nikole, this is something you need to work on. I know you were raised to have a certain sense of modesty but come on. It's just me, and I've already seen you naked before."

My face heats at the memory. "Do I have to?"

Shay's expression falls a fraction. "Of course not. I'd never force you to do something you're so opposed to..." She sounds hurt, as if I had just accused her of being cruel.

Maybe I am being unreasonable. After all, there's nothing she hasn't seen already between bandage changes and sharing a bed. Not to mention, there's nothing sexual about this situation. I tell myself it's no different than changing clothes, something I've done many times around my female friends.

Before I can lose my nerve, I quickly pull off my shirt, tossing it to the ground with jerky motions. The rest of my clothes follow suit, until I'm standing naked in the living room. Pointedly trying to avoid looking at Shay, I can't tell if she's surprised or not. I hear her draw in a single, sharp inhale, but she doesn't say anything. She's probably noticing my scars.

It's my first time shifting since the mountain. I'm a little worried that my wolf will be difficult to reach, but to my surprise, the animal rises quickly to the surface when I summon It. Drawing air deep into my lungs, I feel the familiar prickle of electricity surge to life beneath my skin. I hunch over slightly, bending at the waist, preparing myself for the pain. And come it dose.

At the first audible crunch of bone, I let lose a muted groan, clenching my teeth. My rib cage expands, and my spine curls and lengthens into a tail. My flesh ripples and burns as if on fire. It's only a few seconds into the change that my knees buckle with agony, and I'm crumpling to my hands and knees, shaking violently as my body contorts. It sickens me to know how I must look- broken and grotesque- as I struggle to transform. I hate that Shay can see me like this. It's not a side I want to show to anyone, least of all her.

Tears blur my vision, so I don't see her move, but I feel her presence before she even lays hands on me. As if sensing my negative thoughts. Shay falls to her knees before me, cooing soft words of encouragement. She gently strokes the back of my neck, down to my shoulders as they dislocate with a sickening, wet crack, already moving into a position more beneficial for quadrupedal movement.

"Easy baby, you're almost there. Don't fight it."

Even though my transformation lasts less than a minute from start to finish, 'almost there' seems like an eternity. Listening to the sounds of your bones breaking isn't exactly a pleasant experience. In particular, the reformation of the bones in my jaw and skull are miserable. If I still had the ability to cry as a wolf, I'm sure I would be