Copyright 2013 © Rosesareforever 

A Fight without Remorse

Chapter 8

Twelve hours after receiving the worst news ever in her twenty eight years, Alexis arrived at New York's JFK airport. To put things mildly, she was worried shitless. Seeking assurance that her mom and sisters were indeed safe and unharmed, she needed to see them in the flesh. She still couldn’t believe someone would deliberately set fire to her apartment.

The flight from Miami to New York hadn’t been easy. Of course, nothing ever goes according to plan. Even after taking a few pills to calm her nerves, she still felt almost frenzied at times. To her great surprise, it was Marc who made her feel safe during the flight. He repeatedly reassured her that nothing would go wrong when she was frantically squirming in her seat. Her fear of flight was always with her. That fear, in combination with the fire related stress, made her feel like she was teetering on the edge of sanity.

The flight attendants finished showing the safety plan. Soon the aircraft was readying itself to taxi to the runway. Alexis’ hands were tremoring slightly while she pressed herself further into the seat. Her knuckles were white from the death grip she had on the arm rail. Her fear was literally consuming her. It felt much worse than her last flight. Feeling as though all the oxygen had been sucked out of her lungs, she struggled to breathe.

Her heart was beating widely against her chest, her blood pressure felt alarmingly high. She was on the cusp of a full blown panic attack. Having endured several of those in the past, she knew all too well the side effects that came along with them. In mere minutes her stomach would start convulsing begging to empty itself.

“Alexis?” she heard Marcus’ worried voice beside her. She knew her bizarre behavior must be freaking him out. In her state of panic, she couldn’t bring herself to explain what was happening. She could barely think straight, let alone form a coherent sentence.

Marc watched as pallor overtook her face, her eyes wide like she'd seen a ghost. Pain was radiating from her body. He couldn’t help but worry. What the hell was going on with her? He tried to get her attention by calling her name, but she remained rigid in her seat, her hands gripping the rails tightly.

Suddenly it dawned on him, she must be afraid of flying. He’d never flown with someone that was afraid of flying before. Her panic was clearly evident. He’d never witnessed a panic attack before, but was fairly certain that was what was going on with Alexis.

He quickly put his hand atop hers on the rail, slowly caressing her skin while telling her to breathe slowly. Inhale. Exhale. She was so detached, she probably didn’t even notice his presence. She stared blankly ahead of her. Fear and devastation replaced the fierceness normally evident in her eyes. He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better, but knew it would be useless.

At the moment, she didn’t even respond to simple questions. She was trapped in her own little world and couldn't seem to find a way out. He slowly tore her fingers loose from the rail and placed them in his hand instead, her formidable grip causing him to wince in pain. Damn. The woman was alot stronger than she looked.

“Alexis, it’s going to be fine, but you have to relax, sweetheart,” he whispered softly, his lips only inches from her ear. She visibly started to relax and he let out a relieved sigh. At least she’d heard him. Using his fingertips, he drew little circles over and over on top of her hand hoping to soothe her intense fear.

“Can’t breathe,” she mumbled, gasping for air. Not knowing what else to do, Marcus let go of her hand and put his palms on each side of her face, forcing her to look him in the eye. Once their pupils met, he watched her intently while telling her to breathe slowly. His hands stayed in place the entire time, his thumbs slowly caressing her cheeks.

“Good girl,” he praised when she finally started breathing normally. Her eyes widened frantically when she realized Marc was only inches from her, their breaths mingling. Color immediately returned to her cheeks as she blushed profusely.

It wasn’t until he sat back in his seat that she noticed the plane was already in the air. They had left about ten minutes ago according to her watch. Deep down she felt extremely grateful that Marc intervened when he did. It was embarrassing to behave like a two years old, making her feel foolish in front of him. She should have more self-control. There was just so much weighing on her right now.

Her behavior was pretty erratic. She felt bad about it, although Marc didn’t bring it up. He hadn’t spoken a word about the incident after he’d pulled away and sat back in his seat. Their close proximity shocked Alex to the core. The shock was directly attributable to the warm, fuzzy feeling she’d gotten from Marc taking care of her. He was her worst enemy. The sheer intensity of those warm feelings scared her shitless.

“Ms. Johnson?” a sudden voice caught her attention, arousing her from her deep thoughts. Raising her eyes, she noticed her driver was waiting for her, his arm outstretched to take her bag.

“Good morning, Henry,” she smiled softly, her eyes dull with dark circles underneath. She hadn’t slept a wink. The level of exhaustion she felt was wreaking havoc on her body. She could practically feel the tendrils of depression wrapping themselves around her. Her eyelids were begging to close. She barely had enough energy to walk straight.

Henry noticed her bad state and quickly picked up her bags, pointing to where their vehicle was parked. He was one of her mother's first employees and remained close friends with her. Alex had known the old man nearly her entire life. He drove her to school in the mornings and took her to her weekday art classes. His presence had been a constant in her youth. Henry was well aware of Alexis reckless youth. Her secrets have been safe with him. He's never uttered a peep to anyone.

Henry was a very loyal employee and would never bring embarrassment to the family. He knew better than to anger a Johnson relative. He rescued her from many inconvenient situations often having to readjust her curfew if she was late arriving at the designated spot. It was a wonder that her mother was still in the dark about the rebellious behavior her daughters had once engaged in. Henry did an impeccable job of keeping all three safe from their mother's fury.

“Do you want to take a nap before heading over to your mother’s estate?” Henry questioned patiently, once Alex settled down in the backseat of the limo. She slowly shook her head and told him to drive straight to her mother’s place. She honestly couldn’t wait to be reunited with her family. She needed them now more than ever. Besides, where would she sleep? Her apartment was ruined.

“Did Mr. Jordan have a ride?” Henry asked cautiously when they finally took off. Alex wanted to roll her eyes, but refrained herself. It was the elderly man's way of asking why Marcus wasn't coming with them. Henry was very professional. Often he tended to be over curious. His wife Elisabeth was always dying to know the latest news. She wasn’t one to gossip, though she did have a vested interest in the Johnson daughters.

Elisabeth and her mother used to be close friends. They drifted apart thanks to Juliet’s hard work. Julie never knew when to stop. Soon she lost contact with many of her friends because of her workaholic lifestyle.

“He needed to visit Peter, but we agreed to meet up later today. We will go to the police station together to file a report,” Alex replied honestly, not seeing any harm in telling Henry the truth.

The man nodded in understanding, before setting the car into first gear and hitting the road. It was a thirty minute drive to her mother’s estate, which left plenty of time for Alex to nervously fold her dress. She couldn’t sit still for even a second, too anxious to be able to relax. She needed to see her family and make sure they were unharmed. It didn't matter that she’d talked to her sister earlier, she wouldn’t believe they were fine until she saw their faces.

“We will be arriving soon, Ms. Johnson. There is no need to be worried,” Henry spoke, inferring the inner battle raging inside of mind. She was restless, her body alert even though she was beyond exhausted. Violence was not her nature. If her family was threatened, she would kill. If she found out someone was deliberately trying to harm them, she would hunt them down.

After a few more minutes of nervously tapping her foot against the car's floor, the limousine finally came to halt at the gate of Juliet Henderson’s estate. Alexis bit her lip softly, her hands trembling as she tried to open the car door. Henry was at her side within seconds, giving her a warning look since it was his job to open the door for her. He was well raised and didn’t like when anyone interfered with him being courteous.

“Your mother has been waiting for your arrival,” she heard a sudden voice speak, she quickly looked up to see Lauren White standing in front of her. She was Juliet's personal assistant and a good friend of the family.

Alexis politely smiled at the woman even though she wanted nothing more than to run in the house as fast as possible. Lauren was a nice, elegant lady but she wasn't a close friend to Alex. Something about her was unsettling to Alex. She didn’t know why, but she always felt bad vibes around Lauren. Julie always laughed away Alexis’ suspicion telling her she had nothing to worry about.

“I will take your bags inside,” Henry interrupted, a little smirk forming across his features. Alex could kiss him for his presence. He always knew when to make himself useful. It was one of the many traits she liked so much about the old man, he knew when she needed him most.

Grateful for the intervention, Alex smiled at Henry before walking towards the front door of her mother's large manor. The house was built in the early 20s and still looked breathtaking. It was located outside the city in a serene environment. The large front door consisted of oak and had been recently restored. It was a miracle the building was still in such a good shape. The former owners left the property pretty much in shambles. Juliet did her very best to restore the manor to its original glory.

Once inside, Alex walked into the large foyer. Even though she spent her formative years here, the room still took her breath away. A genuine Van Gogh was among the many paintings that hung on the walls. It cost a fortune. It looked incredible and fit perfectly in its posh spot. In the middle of the room was an ancient wooden staircase that was upholstered in tapestry.

Alexis let her hand brush the handrail softly as she climbed the staircase, making her way towards her mother’s office. The wooden stairs creaked slightly, the mild sound echoing through the room. When she reached the top, she was met with the teary eyes of her mother. Unable to stifle her soft gasp, she ran to her mother and threw her arms around her pulling her tightly to her chest. “Oh god,” she cried as she finally embraced the woman that gave birth to her, her eyes filled with unshed tears. She often disagreed with or had fights with her mother on a whole variety of things, but her love for her mother never wavered.

Alex’ body started to shake violently as she held onto her mother for dear life, almost crushing the poor lady. “My baby,” Julie rasped out, her voice thick with emotion. Alex didn’t know how long they stood there and honestly didn’t care. All she knew was that her mother was okay and that was all that mattered to her.

Slowly the women separated, their bloodshot eyes evidence of their outburst. Alex gave her mother a small smile and felt slightly embarrassed by her frantic behavior. She usually was quite good at hiding her true emotions, but today had been an exception.

“Where are Jade and Lisa?” she immediately questioned, once she recovered from her meltdown. She had been on the phone with Jade earlier, she missed her enormously. The two of them have always been pretty close. That was one of the few things that hadn't changed over the years.

“Lisa left early this morning for another tennis tournament and won’t be back until next Tuesday. I’m sorry, darling, but you'll have to wait to see your baby sister. Jade, on the other hand, promised to visit this afternoon. I'm sure she'll be here any minute," Juliet explained to her daughter, a small smile playing at her lips.

“How are things with your girlfriend?” Alex asked cautiously. She didn’t know if Jade had informed her that Alex was aware of her newest conquest. She honestly didn’t want to make her mother uncomfortable, though she was kind of curious.

“You know, huh?” her mother wondered out loud, clearing her throat awkwardly. “She’s not exactly my girlfriend, yet. We've gone out a few times and everything is perfect so far,” Juliet replied honestly, her cheeks slightly flushed under the doubtful stare of her eldest child.

“Are you sure this is what you want, mom? It’s not that I don’t accept your decision. It just seems weird to me, that’s all. I don’t want to see you getting hurt,” Alex explained carefully. Her mother's best interest was her chief concern and she didn't really want to interfere in her life. The woman was seasoned enough to make her own decisions. Simply put, she didn’t want to see her mother crushed by pain and guilt.

“I know it might sound crazy to you, honey, but yes, I am sure. Gabby is a lovely woman and we get along really well. In the beginning we were just friends, nothing more. I knew she slowly started to develop feelings towards me. It's never been a secret that she was attracted to women,” Julie answered truthfully.

“Are you happy?” Alexis finally asked, though she already knew the answer. She needed to hear the words from her mother’s lips. She hadn’t seen Julie this happy in years. The fatigue was gone. The brightness and fire had returned to her eyes. These past years, Juliet Henderson’s smiles had never reached her eyes. She survived, but didn’t exactly enjoy her life. Days went by without ever seeing the happy and carefree woman that her mother had once been. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and eventually, everyone got used to seeing an unhappy Juliet. The fire in her eyes was extinguished. Their happy, carefree mom simply disappeared. She successfully shut everyone out, including her own daughters.

Alex wasn’t going to complain. Her mother had done a magnificent parenting job under difficult circumstances. However, she had missed the lively, crazy woman that once was her mother. Julie’s heart never fully recovered from the harsh and cruel pain Peter inflicted on her. He stabbed her in the back. Crushing her spirit without so much as a second thought, Peter simply walked away.

Juliet never saw it coming. She always believed they lived the perfect life. Together they were unstoppable, the IT family. Once realization of the lie she'd been living dawned on her, she broke down. There was no one there to help her put the pieces back together. Since there was no one to take care of her, she needed to stay strong for her three baby girls. They lost not only their beautiful family, but also their father.

“I forgot how it felt to be happy until I met Gabby. I haven’t felt anything but dreariness for years, then suddenly everything returned. Every emotion was heightened. Sometimes I want to cry, simply because I feel so lucky,” Juliet smiled, her eyes sparkling with newfound hope and passion.

“Well then, when can I meet this awesome lady?” Alex grinned, making her mother laugh out loud. A huge weight was lifted off her shoulders and she finally started to relax.

“She’s coming over for lunch tomorrow. Maybe you and Jade can join us? She's anxious to meet you, girls. I always told her we should give you time to adjust to the news first,” Juliet admitted, her bright smile still on display. It seemed as if she couldn’t fight the urge to keep her lips curled upwards.

“I would love to,” Alex replied, patting her mom on the shoulder. She knew her mother needed the support, the little boost to have faith in her relationship. Their acceptance meant the world to her. If her daughters didn’t support her decision, Julie would never be truly happy.

She was just about to ask what time they should meet, when Jade suddenly flew through the hall and jumped her. Alex let out a shriek, a little confused when her sister was suddenly crushing her bones. “Jeez, you clearly missed your big sista,” she laughed as Jade’s grip only tightened around her frame.

“You scared me shitless, you bitch!” Jade exclaimed when she pulled back, throwing her arms up in the air and shaking her head. “For a moment, I actually forgot you were in Miami and not sound asleep in your apartment!” the hysterical woman added, her entire face changing into a dark shade of red thanks to the fury that went through her veins.

Alexis rolled her eyes, before pulling Jade back into her arms, hugging her close to her body. “You crazy fool,” she muttered under her breath. Their relationship had always been weird. Others probably thought they hated each other because they were constantly cursing and calling names. It was simply their way of showing love and affection.

“Aren’t you two adorable?” their mother coed sarcastically, obviously amused by their behavior.

“It’s her fault,” Jade pointed out, glaring at her older sister. “She’s the one who started this madness!”

“How is it my fault? I didn’t ask for my apartment to be torched,” Alex argued, not understanding what the hell her sister was talking about.

“No, you didn’t. Although for some reason, you're the one who's being targeted. Someone is trying to get you killed, Lexie, aren’t you the least bit afraid? We have been going crazy in your absence, thinking maybe someone had caught you!” Jade accused.

“You’re being ridiculous, Jade. You can’t expect me to call every five minutes. We talked earlier this morning before I boarded my flight.”

“I was worried. Do you even understand how serious this is?” Jade questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Leave your sister alone, Jade! You don’t have to scare her. It’s horrible enough as it is,” their mother interrupted, giving her daughter a disapproving look.

“I know this is serious, do you honestly believe I’m not the least bit scared? I’m going crazy on the inside, you know? I can barely breathe. I haven’t slept a wink since I heard the news!” Alexis exclaimed furiously, disappointed by her sister’s judgment.

It was true. She had been slowly going insane from fear. At night, she hadn’t been able to shut down her mind. Bad thoughts kept haunting her, keeping her wide awake during the wee hours of the morning. She was worried sick that someone was after her family too.

“Are you going to stay at mom’s while they investigate the fire?” Jade asked once she calmed down. She knew she had been unreasonable. Worry overcame her because her oldest sister was also her best friend in the world. She would never forgive herself if something bad happened to Alexis.

“No, she is not,” Juliet suddenly stated, making her two daughters look at her in confusion. What the hell?

“What do you mean, she isn’t?” Jade questioned bewildered, blinking her eyes to make sure she wasn’t