HER

(Flashback)

I BARELY SLEPT LAST NIGHT. My conversation with Tristan's mom kept playing in my mind, "He wants to marry you." I know in my heart that I love Tristan, but I am not ready to enter married life.

"Tweet!" I heard my phone's familiar tweet. I looked at the clock, it's already 8 in the morning. I reached for my phone and saw Tristan's message.

"Good morning, Baby! Are you awake? I'll pick you up in an hour, ok! See you in a bit! I love you!"

I texted him back that I'll start getting ready. I slowly got up from bed and took a fast shower. It was a long night. I kept rehearsing over and over how I would tell him about the internship. But whatever way I break the news to him, I know he is not going to like it.

At exactly 9 am, Tristan's already in our house. Since we have been together, he stays a lot with us after work. Of course, he loves spending time with me! Whenever we don't go outside, we just hang out at home.

Tristan is already like family. My mom adores him a lot. As for Paul, they became very good friends. He treated Tristan as his best buddy. We really miss our eldest since he passed away. Nobody can take his place in our hearts. But I think Paul started to look at Tristan like an older brother. Somebody that he can trust and run to if he has problems. Like how he was before with Vince.

"Hi Mommy!" He gave my mom a hug as soon as he entered the house. He calls her "Mommy" and of course, my sweet mother likes that a lot! I think he gave her a potion that's why she is so fond of him!

He then went towards me after paying his respects to my mom while I was sitting on the couch. He hugged and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. He looked at me lovingly as always.

"Good Morning, gorgeous! Did you dream of me last night?" He teased me. I just smiled at him but I'm already feeling uneasy. I don't know what's going to happen once I tell him about the internship.

He already knows me by now and I think he felt that I am not myself.

"Is there anything wrong, Baby?" He asked, concerned.

"No, I'm ok. I just didn't sleep well last night." I said while trying to keep a smile on my face.

"Why don't you guys eat breakfast first before you go? I already set the table." My mom interrupted.

"I like that! I am starving! I did not eat breakfast. I know you're going to cook my favorite!" Tristan said while smiling at my mom.

As soon as we went to the dining table, my nostrils got filled with the pungent smell of garlic fried rice, sweet cured pork, and sunny side up egg. This is Tristan's favorite. He can eat this every day! He let me and my mom sit down first before he took his usual spot at our dining table.

"Where is Paul?" He asked while busy putting food on my plate.

"Paul is still sleeping, he will come down later." I replied.

He is always a gentleman and will always serve me first whenever we eat. He has always been like this even from the time he was courting me. You may call me crazy, but sometimes, I feel these little things that he does for me are too much. He really "babies" me a lot. I have always been independent and fend for myself but since being with Tristan, I somehow lost that part of myself.

I have been with different relationships before, but not as serious as this. I was just in high school when I started having boyfriends, so it's just having a boyfriend for the sake of it.

When I entered college, I had 2 more boyfriends, but I am too "strong" for them. They just bow to everything I say. Those relationships didn't last long.

Then, Tristan came along. He completely turned my world upside down. That "Strong Alecx" started to fade.

I was smitten and fell so much in love with my Baby. I became the meek sheep in our relationship. Don't get me wrong. Tristan is a great boyfriend, loving and very supportive. But I think the age gap, Tristan being more mature than me played a role in how I see him.

I am supposed to mold myself into adulthood. I should be making my own decisions, exploring different things, learning from my own mistakes. Instead, I started to feel fear. That "adventurer" in me started to vanish. With Tristan by my side, I became a coward. I let him drive these past 2 years.

Even with simple things like deciding which restaurant to go to, what movie to watch, I let him choose. That's why when I applied for the internship outside the country, which has always been my dream, I did not let him know and kept it a secret. I know he will not approve. Deep inside me, I can still feel that faint courage to pursue what I have always wanted. Before it completely disappears, I just decided to do it.

One day, out of the blue, I fearlessly filled out and completed the online application form for internship. I was not expecting that they would accept me, but I still gave it a shot. As soon as I received the news that they wanted me, I felt immense joy and excitement. I am finally chasing my dream!

And now, with him wanting me to work in his company without even letting me know first, I want to rebel. He will continue to do this, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I love him dearly, with all my heart, but I cannot lose myself.

I tossed and turned last night. Trying to think what the best thing is to do. Rationalizing if this is the most logical decision to make. It is not being selfish, but I think I owe something for myself. This is for me, for US.

I must grow up. WE have to grow up. Whether he likes it or not, we must face tough decisions like this.

Before the "Strong Alecx" fades away completely, this time, Tristan WILL hear me. And, whatever happens, I am ready.