James had ended up taking Nadine to the pier where he took Sora to the night before. They ate at the restaurant that looked over the cliffs next to the boardwalk. It wasn't how Nadine had expected it to be. She thought that she would have to keep scolding James trying to make moves, but he literally just sat down and had dinner with her. He'd eat and ask about how work was, if they were any interesting patients, or how her feet were feeling after 16 hour shifts for 3 days. Nadine kept up with the conversation as well. She'd ask about Tina or Bret, how the construction is going for the new hospital, or if he's ever going to get promoted this year to senior partner. All in all, it went by like a typical dinner.

After dinner, James offered to take her back home, but there was a bustle around the boardwalk and they decided to treat themselves to a walk along the beach. They continued talking about anything and everything. Literally anything that came to mind, they'd talk about. Nadine ended up laughing so hard, she had to stop walking to catch her breath after some joke James made about Sora wanting to become a mermaid.

"She definitely took your love for the beach," Nadine said when she could finally breathe properly. "That girl is going to be hard to get out of the water once she learns how to swim by herself."

"Those swim lessons aren't helping her become a mermaid if she keeps moving her feet like that."

Nadine smacked his arm, "Hoy! Anak natin yan!"

James laughed, "Kidding. Sora's a natural in the water. As if she was born in it."

They climbed up the rocks to the pier, James going before Nadine so he could give her a hand and pull her up. She still held her heels in her hand, deciding it best to walk barefoot along the pier so the heels wouldn't slip in between the gaps in the wooden boards.

They walked a few minutes to a secluded space at the end of the pier where it seemed like they were in the middle of nowhere and the water could lead you to anywhere. The moon was full and it reflected across the ripples in the ocean. Nadine looked out and sighed, getting a sudden memory of when they'd go to the pier in Sydney after finals to destress.

James leaned against the railing like Nadine, but he was watching her.

She smiled a little before asking, "What are you staring at me for?"

He chuckled, "I've lived with you for over a year, I didn't see you 4 years prior to that, but you still look like the same Nadine Lustre I've always known."

Nadine dropped her heels next to her and rested her arms on the rails, "I may look the same, but I'm not the same Nadine that you saw when you left."

"Yeah, the Nadine now has a little mini monster running around at her parents' house," James raised his eyebrows in a joking manner.

"Your daughter is a monster. If only you know how hard it was to give birth to that little girl. She's so tiny but she didn't want out until the last possible second."

"She's a monster, but she's also the best little girl I've met. Literally, even before I knew she was my daughter, I had a little attachment to her. I think it's because she reminded me of you."

"Why?"

"The way she gets mad, especially at JJ, it's like when you get mad at Ice or Eze. She makes the same face too."

She made a face, "You mean like this?"

James looked at her and laughed, "That's the one."

They laughed it out together, the sound of the waves crashing drowned out by Nadine's bungisngis laugh.

"You've really done a great job in raising her Nadine. She's loving and caring. She's smart and talented. She's so full of life and energy, but she's only 4 years old. Sometimes I think that you don't need me to raise her and you're just being polite to our parents by keeping me around, but then I don't want to leave because then I don't get to see Sora grow up."

"I do need you sometimes," she shrugged. "I hate admitting that, but it's true. You're a great dad to Sora, I can't deny that. She looks up to you and it's like you're Superman to her."

"And you're Wonder Woman."

She smiled and rolled her eyes at him, "I'm serious. You're the one who chases the monsters away and the boys away too."

"Sora's too young for a boyfriend, Nadz!"

"It's just a boy giving her chips, James. I'm sure she didn't think much of it."

"But she thinks he's cute and any boy with that type of haircut cannot be trusted."

Nadine snickered, "Nagseselos ka sa isang bata? Jusko, James. You're irreplaceable to Sora. No one compares to you in her eyes."

"I can't help but be jealous. Ever since we've had this arrangement, Sora's always had a special bond with Mike and Jack, it felt like I had to share my daughter with them. Especially, Mike."

"James..." she took a deep breath. "Mike was there as my main support system. He's not Sora's dad and he never tried to be. But since he's been there since day 1, syempre may bond sila diba? But it's not the same as yours and Sora's. They never had Daddy-daughter dates or he's never slept on the side when the boogeyman threatened to tickle her toes at night. Ever since you came into her life, I could tell that you will always be her number 1 man."

James sighed, letting the silence consume them. The air was somewhat somber, but also peaceful to them. Nadine figured now would be a better time than any to discuss the topic she had been so curious to bring up to him about.

"Can I ask you something?"

He shrugged, "Shoot."

"Why haven't you dated since you moved in?"

"I wasn't dating even before I moved in."

Nadine pursed her lips, her brows furrowed in confusion as she rotated her head to look at him.

"You're telling me you never dated in the 4 years that you were awol."

He shook his head, "Nope. I... I never found someone who caught my attention. I was so busy with work and promotion, I didn't really have the time to look either. It wasn't a priority of mine, I guess."

"But don't you ever want the full 9 yards with someone, James? Or at least the chance to find that someone?"

His brows made a v, "What's 9 yards?"

"You know... like you date them, you marry them, you have kids, and grow old with them... just that one person to spend with for the rest of your life. That 9 yards?"

James just stared at her in silence, not knowing how to respond. Of course he had thought about that one person he would want to spend the rest of his life with. It always had been Nadine, but mistakes were made that he could never take back.

"I used to dream that we'd make it the whole 9 yards. But I guess all dreams have to end somewhere," bluntly saying it as she stared out into the dark mass of water. "I actually don't think I'll have that with anyone anymore. I mean... falling in love seems like a farce. Let alone staying in love with the same person for the rest of your life?"

He answered, still staring at her, "You never know, Nadz. You might be someone's 9 yards... but just not the conventional way you're making this out to be."

"Of course it's going to unconventional. I already have a kid."

James was the one to roll his eyes at her this time, "You know what I mean."

"I know, but I'm just saying 9 yards seems like a stretch now."

"So you're completely giving up ever having the full 9 yards?"

"I gave that up when I had Sora," quickly saying it as if she knew that he was going to ask that.

"Sora's gonna grow up and find her 9 yards, what will happen then?"

She huffed out a breath, "Then I guess I'll find out what to do when the time comes. But you... you aren't obligated to any of this. You can go out and find your 9 yards, cuz the universe knows it's not me. If it was, you would've stayed..."

"Nadine," he choked out.

"It may not seem like it, especially at the beginning of all of this, but your happiness is important to me, James. I want you to be able to live life how you want it. And if it's leaving to find the woman of your dreams, then so be it."

James wanted to hold her, to bring her into his arms and whisper 'I love yous' into her ear. But he held his arm down and just stared at her, knowing that she wasn't looking at him because she was trying to hold back tears.

"I..." he started, wondering if he was ready to open this vault of memories. "I went back you know?"

She finally turned, her eyes glassy with tears threatening to come out.

"Where?"

"To the old apartment," he gulped down the lump in his throat.

"Recently? Why?"

"No... after... after you left," struggling to get the words out.

She blinked, her vision foggy with more tears wanting to run down her face. She wanted to cry, but not in front of James or for this topic again. She thought she was done crying 4 years ago.

"I left?"

"Yeah... Why did you leave?"

"Why would I stay?" her voice cracking. "You left first."

"I came back."

"Why did you?"

"I needed space, Nadz. It was... I couldn't do what people were asking me to. It was moving too fast... I was scared."

She scoffed, the first tear finally running down her face. "I didn't ask any of that from you. I wasn't... I didn't ask you to propose. I didn't ask you to suddenly commit the rest of your life. But all I wanted was for you to talk to me. When you left, I ... failed at my job as your girlfriend if you thought you couldn't even bring that up to me."

She was sobbing now that James took her face into his hands, wiping the tears with his thumb, "I thought that if I brought it up, you'd think that I didn't want to get married to you ever. I just... not back then."

After Nadine had cried herself dry, she took James' hands from her face and wiped it with the back of her hand. She sniffled a little and breathed, closing her eyes for a few seconds.

"Let's go home? We have to pick Sora up early tomorrow."

James grabbed her hand, "Nadine, I ... I want you to know that I'm not trying to force anything to happen. That I don't feel obligated to want this 9 yards with you, but if that's not what you want anymore, I can't change your mind. What I want most is for you to feel comfortable enough to let me back in. I don't deserve it after everything, I just... I wanna make sure you're happy. You and Sora."

She chuckled a little after she wiped her face again, "One dinner and all of a sudden the treasure trove of feelings starts hurling out at us."

"I'll prove to you, Nadz..."

Nadine shook her head, "It's better if you don't, James. I don't want you to get your hopes up that something might happen. I don't wanna get my own hopes up. I think we just need to leave the idea of us where it's been for the past 5 years... in the past."

"Nadine..."

"James..." she pleaded. "I don't even know if I love you anymore. That's the problem. I don't know how to love someone else that's not Sora."

"I love you," he blurted out.

She squeezed the hand that was holding hers, "I don't believe that. I wouldn't believe that if someone else said that to me either."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I'm going to prove to you... and I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life doing it. I'm not leaving, Nadine."

"That's not the only problem, James. I don't trust you enough to know if you're going to stay. Hell, I don't even trust you enough to believe you when you tell me you love me."

"But I do."

"But I don't. Or I don't know if I do or don't. Let it go, James. It's best if we just let it go. We've been doing great with Sora now, we don't need to make things more complicated."

"No," he said adamantly, surprising Nadine. "I need you to believe in love again. That there's a 9 yards for you.

"Even if I don't fall in love with you?" challenging him.

He looked at her, stunned by her question, but finally settled down his feelings and answered.

"Even if it's not me."