"Go-good," Nadine finally stuttered after what felt like forever. "I mean... you worked so hard for that position. You deserve it."

James let out a small chuckle that made Nadine's brows furrow in confusion.

"What's so funny?"

"You're so ready to get me out of this house, aren't you?" James asked.

"No!" Nadine defended herself quickly.

He crossed his arms and leaned on the counter across from Nadine. "So you don't want me out of the house? Okay, then... I guess I'll stay."

Nadine's eyes widened, "James!"

James only laughed even more, making Nadine frustrated at the turn of events. This wasn't how she thought this conversation was going to go. She had spent the whole week avoiding James thinking how all the scenarios would play out. What she would do if he said he would stay or what she would do if he ended taking the job. Out of all the things she thought of, this was definitely not one of them.

"Nadine, I am only taking the job under two conditions."

"That's not how that works. You either take it or you don't. What are you going to tell your boss?"

"No," James couldn't help but be amused at how easily frustrated she was getting. "I know I can either take the job or not at all, but I meant between us. Because honestly, I want to stay but you keep telling me to take it. And if you're not telling me, you've been acting like I already moved out."

Nadine bit the inside of her lip in anticipation. Knowing James, her treatment towards him for the past few days were definitely taken up into consideration with this decision, that's why she did it. She didn't want him to pass up this opportunity, but she was also being selfish in thinking that she won't get hurt if he just leaves again.

"What are the conditions?" she asked with a pout on her face.

"The first one..." pausing to decide how to word things. "I know you said Sora will understand, but I need Sora to know that her opinion matters too. If she doesn't want me to go, then I'm not going. If she says that she's okay with it, then there's still the second condition."

"She's 5, James. Of course she's going to want you to stay. That's what I meant by not letting Sora be the reason for your decision. That's why I said she'll understand," speaking as if she had just run a marathon.

James took a step towards Nadine, "Sora's in school. She's able to think and speak on her own, Nadine. We can't just let her think that she's not allowed to have a say in these things. She's part of this family."

Nadine immediately protested, "James!"

He put a hand up to stop her argument, "Nadine, you may say that we're not a family, but I know you don't think that. And neither do I. We've been a family for a long time now. This is a big decision and my family gets a say in what happens."

She shook her head in annoyance, "And when do you plan on talking to your daughter?"

"Friday after school. Maybe after our dinner date," he shrugged.

Nadine sighed, feeling light-headed with irritation, "What's the second condition?"

"You."

Her voice cracked, "What- What about me?"

"Are you ever going to forgive me? Or am I always going to be my mistake to you?"

She was stunned silent, feet stuck to the ground. Nadine didn't know how to answer that question because she didn't know what to say either.

"All this time, you've been saying you didn't wanna go on the dates because you didn't want me to feel obligated to go out with you. That was your excuse for anything when it came to just us two. But I think I should've been the one asking if you just went along with everything because you felt an obligation to make things work out for Sora..."

Nadine felt like her heart was stuck in her throat that her breathing was turning into heaves of breaths. She couldn't even look him in the face.

"You can tell everyone you've forgiven me and that me living here is a sign that you have, but I... I can't stay or leave without knowing myself if you're just holding back because you think I'm incapable of changing."

She finally looked up at him with glassy eyes, holding back tears. James looked back at her with the same expression, except his was more longing.

"What does this have to do with you staying?" she finally blurted out, turning her head so James wouldn't see the tears that fell out.

"I need to know that you're not just pushing me to take this job because you haven't forgiven me. I need to know if there was even a chance at us being us again."

"Why does it matter to you?!" Nadine yelled.

James scoffed, "It matters to me, Nadine. You matter to me. You have always mattered to me. I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that I'm the reason you won't choose to be happy!"

Nadine turned to face him, not caring that he saw the tears running down her face, "So you're staying out of guilt? That's what this is? You have some pretentious guilt complex?"

"That's not what I meant, Nadine," throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop twisting my words and just listen."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and nodded at him angrily to continue.

"If you can tell me that you've forgiven me, that you don't just want me out of the house because you'll always be angry at me for what I've done... that you are going to be okay with me leaving and not hold a grudge or hate yourself--"

"Who said I'm going to hate myself?" interrupting him.

"I know you," shaking his head. "The minute I leave, you're either going to tell yourself that you knew it or you're gonna wallow, telling yourself that you're the reason you got hurt again because you let me get too close to you."

Nadine glared at him, but had no words to say. She couldn't even begin to argue back because all she wanted to do was scream the house down or punch a punching bag.

"If you can say all that... then it'll depend on Sora."

She took a deep breath and dragged her feet towards the stairs. Before climbing up, she turned around to face him one last time.

"Don't let me be a reason to turn down the job, James. And to answer your question... there wasn't ever really an us to begin with. Maybe all of this is just a sign that there's never going to be an us again."

----------

Nadine paced around the kitchen for the half hour before Sora and James came back from dinner at Lauren's place. Nadine would've went with them, but her mind was so jumbled up from trying to figure things out herself that it was best she didn't go. She was actually grateful she didn't have to work because at the pace her brain was going, she was going to have a mistake in the operating room for sure, and that's a risk she wasn't willing to take.

James finally walked in, Sora in front of him with a pout on her face. Nadine looked at James with a questioning look on her face, but he shrugged, not knowing why their daughter was like this. Most of the time, she was only like this if she got in a fight with one of her cousins.

She sat down in the center of the couch and crossed her arms, making Nadine smile a little at how much Sora was acting like a teenager. James sat across from her on the coffee table and leaned forward to be face to face with her.

"Are you not going to say hi to Mommy?"

Sora shook her head.

"Can you tell Daddy what's wrong?"

Sora glanced over at Nadine and then back at James, nodding her head slowly in hesitation.

"Are you leaving us? Do you not love us anymore?"

Nadine and James both straightened up, surprised at Sora's questions.

"Wh-Why are you asking that, Baby?" James squatted on the floor to be more leveled with his daughter.

"I heard Mamita and Auntie Lau talking in the kitchen. They said you're going to have to leave anyways because 2 years is almost over. Where are you leaving to?"

Nadine leaned on the wall, suddenly feeling anxious.

James picked up Sora and sat her on his lap as he sat down on the couch. "Baby, I need to ask you something."

Sora stared at him with eyes that could pierce your soul, just like Nadine's. He shuddered, more scared of Sora than Nadine.

"How would you feel about getting two rooms?"

She shook her head, "No. If it means you're leaving, then no."

He sighed and looked at Nadine, who was staring at her fiddling fingers.

"Well... Mamita and Auntie were talking because... you remember how I was gone for a month?"

She nodded silently.

"I got the job over there and they're offering a lot of money, enough to buy a place where you could have another room."

Sora looked at her mom again, "Are we moving with him?"

Nadine looked at her daughter, shaking her head and mouthing, "No."

"Then how do I get two rooms?" she asked, confused.

"Well, Daddy would need to move to Melbourne and the other room would be yours when you and Mommy come to visit. So you would have that room and your room here."

Tears started to flow down Sora's face, "You're leaving us?"

James cupped her face and shook his head, "Not necessarily. If you don't want me to leave, then I don't have to."

"But Mamita said that if you still don't take the job, Mommy's going to kick you out."

Nadine couldn't recite a rosary fast enough to stop the direction this conversation was going in. It was going bad and it was happening too fast for her to intervene. James took a deep breath and pulled Sora in for a hug, brushing her hair with his fingers.

"Me and Mommy had an agreement with Mamita and Mama, Sora Bear. I would live with you and Mommy for 2 years and if everything went okay, then it's up to Mommy if she wants me to stay or leave. If she wants me to leave, then I will. I have to keep my promise to your lolas."

Sora shook her head, burying it further into James chest. He could feel his shirt get wet from all the tears coming from her eyes and he just patted her back in a soothing motion.

"If she wants you to leave, are you going to go to Melbourne?" pulling back to wipe her eyes with her small hands.

James sighed and nodded.

"Then I don't want you to go. I don't want the second room. I don't want you to leave," full on sobbing at this point. "I want you to stay here in the house with me and Mommy. Who's gonna scare off the boogeyman at night? Who's gonna pick me up from school? I don't want you to go!"

James brought her back in to comfort her, making, "Shhh," noises to calm her down. She looked at Nadine, who was tearing up at the whole scene.

"Tell him, Mommy. Tell him you want him to stay. Tell him he can stay."

"Sora, Daddy can't just turn something like this down."

"Tell him to stay!" the little girl begged her mother, crying into her father's chest. "I don't want him to leave!"

"Sora..."

"Tell him!"

"It's not that easy, Babe," Nadine walked over to them. "It's--"

"Yes, it is!" Sora turned around on James' lap to face Nadine. "You're just want him to leave because you're mean!"

"Baby..." Nadine squatted down to take her daughter's hands into hers. "It's complicated."

"No, it's not!" she screamed back into between her sobs.

She wiggled her hands out of Nadine's and jumped off James' lap.

"I hate you."

Nadine broke down on the spot as Sora ran up to her room, slamming the door shut. James quickly stood up to run after their daughter, but Nadine grabbed his hand to stop him. He looked down as Nadine sobbed into her knees.

"She didn't mean it, Nadine."

The words echoed over and over in Nadine's head, haunting her until she couldn't breathe. After a while, she stood up and just walked out into the backyard. James didn't follow her this time and decided to talk to the Sora first.