"We spent five weeks at number one!" Chris yelled to the camera

"No we spent one week at spot twenty two" I said to the camera

"The world forgot about us"

"Maybe you but not me"

"Kadie I'm trying really hard to be dramatic"

"By lying?"

"If that's what it takes" Chris said and we began laughing.

It's twelve o'clock in the afternoon on the second of December and me and Chris are in the middle of rehearsals for tomorrow

Sixteen years ago me and Chris released a song while drunk and a week later it had gained some attraction. It's a purely funny song we made while drunk.

Every so often it pops back up in the charts basically for people to laugh. The music video we made still makes me laugh to this day.

But tomorrow is the sixteenth anniversary of the release and I'm presenting ant and dec Saturday night takeaway too tomorrow so we though what better time to preform it for the first time in fifteen years.

But there's a dance we made up and now we're trying to relearn it.

"We've brought this song back for the first time in fifteen years. Usually when someone brings it up we pretend to have no association with it" Chris said

"For one night only!" I said

"For one night only, never again after tonight"

"When they first suggested the idea to us, we were like, aw really? Does anyone really want to see this?"

"But over the last hour it's all come back to us, like flood gates"

"The dance is a lot quicker than I remember" Chris said

"A lot quicker. It's either the tracks got quicker over the years or we've aged quite a bit since releasing it"

"I think the tracks just became quicker, we haven't aged a day"

"The one thing I'm really not looking forward to is bringing back that music video look"

"The clothes, my makeup, our hair. Oh lord kill me now"

"I can barely remember it"

"I wore like a red sports jerseys, real 2000s male style, and you wore the same thing just in blue and with a backwards cap"

"How do you remember that" Chris laughed

"Cause it's permanently burned into my mind, I get nightmares about those outfits and that song"

"Everything was always so baggy back then"

"Oh my days, everything. People had tracksuits with the crotch area touching their ankles. And your earpieceing!" I laughed

"Oh please no" Chris cringed

"Neither of us looked any where near good in that music video. This is what we looked like, there should be a photo on screen"

"How we ever actually succeeded is the greatest mystery of all time" Chris said

"It genuinely feels like we made this forever ago"

"It's making me feel old, 15 years, oh my god, I feel so old"

"You are old. This was so long ago your phone was an A-phone, it was A before I" I said as Chris burst into laughter "I'm not that old of course, I had an E-phone. Chris on the other hand had an A-phone"

****

"Ok Jasmine, will you please grab me an iced coffee from down town"

"On my way" she smiled

"Thank you. Emily" I called

It was a couple hours later and I was in a completely different building now. We'd wrapped up rehearsals and now I was getting ready to film a video with Sebastian for YouTube.

"Yes Kades?" Emily said entering the room behind me

"Is Seb ready, and is everyone else ready to start filming, I'll be done here in about five minutes"

"Yeah everyone's ready"

"Perfect and the cards?"

"Right here" she said, handing me a pile of cards with questions on them

****

"Hello everyone, today me and Sebastian are playing the kylie quiz only with Kadie Kardashian Stan"

"Kades that doesn't make much sense" Sebastian laughed

"Yeah, ok so kylie did this quiz a while ago with travis so I decided me and seb should do it, I asked my manager to literally just print out the exact same questions and add in one or two"

"That makes more sense. So Kadie will be asking me the questions, is that right?" He asked and we both looked at Emily behind the camera

"We really should have gotten a brief on this before hand" I laughed

The background was blue and pink and we're sitting on film set chairs facing eachother, exactly like how kylie and travis did it.

"I have no seen any of these questions. So first question, what colour is my toothbrush?"

"White"

"Boom, is someone keeping track, we gotta beat kylie and travis. Question two, what are my dogs names?"

"Our dogs name is Marley, and he's technically my dog"

"He is not technically your dog!"

"He is, when we're watching tv, he always sits on top of me"

"That does not make him your dog, and he only does that cause your bigger"

"Kadie hates when the dog chooses me"

"He does not choose you" I laughed "question three, what sports did I play growing up"

"Basketball in high school and then maths"

"Maths!" I laughed "maths is not a sport babe"

"Oh my days, the way you did it, yes it was"

"I was just too good for everyone" I winked "question four, what's the biggest scar on my body and how did I get it?"

"On your back, when Chris fricken Evans literally dropped you while doing a stunt"

"That was a funny day" I laughed

"No it was not! They almost had to call a second ambulance for me. Do you remember that day? I thought you'd died"

"What? Why did you think I'd died?"

"Cause I was in a little shed a couple hundred feet away and watching the stunt on a screen. I wasn't supposed to come out until I got the cue it was over but then the screens turned off. Five minutes had passed and I looked out the door and there was a circle of people standing around you looking down, I genuinely thought you'd died"

"How did I never know about this?" I laughed

"Ehh maybe the fact you were unconscious and Chris was screaming his head off"

"Next question, how long does it usually take to do my makeup in the morning?"

"Depends, if there's other people doing it and it's for something, like an forty minutes. If it's you, two seconds"

"Bang on the money. Next question is, what's my favourite colour"

"Now darling can you tell me what your favourite colour is? Considering every two minutes it's changing"

"It does" I laughed "what do you think it is right now?"

"Eh" he hesitated, looking my outfit up and down "green?"

"Bang on the money. What's my full legal name?"

"Trick question" he said with a large smile "it's K'eydi Matilda Dalita Kardashian"

"He pronounced it perfectly as well" I laughed "I'm three quarters Armenian, so is Kim, Khloe and Kourtney but yet I'm the only one with a proper Armenian name, our dad was Armenian. And as I got older everyone told me I should just spell my name as Kadie instead of K'eydi as it's the American equivalent and so I've gone by Kadie ever since"

"K'eydi and Kadie sound extremely similar you just say K'eydi with a little bit of an accent"

"Next question, how many tattoos do I have?"

"I could ask you the same question, do you know how many tattoos you have? You have little one's everywhere"

"I don't know either, I'd say around twenty plus. Which ones my favourite?"

"Ehhh..... either your tulip one, or actually the snake one behind your ear, you love that one" he smiled

"That should count for two points" I laughed "next one, what nicknames do we call stormi. We should have checked these before hand"

"What nicknames we call stormi" Sebastian said through laugher "stormi I guess"

"What nicknames do I call you and what nicknames do you call me?"

"You call me, babe, seb, darling. I call you, doll, darling, who knows"

"Next question is, what's your midnight snack that I cook for you?" I asked and immediately Sebastian burst out laughing

"Kadie, my love, last time you tried to cook for me you set the oven on fire and then we had to re plaster the whole wall and get a new oven"

"It was one time!"

"You were cooking noodles, you forgot to put in the water in the instant noodles! It was two steps"

"In my defence" I said and Sebastian kept laughing "it was like three in the morning, and I had had a tiny little to drink. But I can cook"

"Kades you are the most talented person I've ever met, but you cannot cook to save your life"

"I can bake" I added, Sebastian broke into another huge grin

"I won't even mention what happened last time" he smiled

"What happened last time?!"

"The pie?"

"Oh shit yeah, oh no don't mention that" I laughed "moving on, where did we first meet?"

"Two places. We were on set together for the first captain America film when you visited Chris but we didn't speak cause I was so scared to meet you, and extremely star struck. Then we first spoke at the first captain America film premiere and I spilt my popcorn on you"

"Great night, you were so panicked when you did it, you rambled and next thing I know your telling me about your childhood as your picking up the popcorn"

"I was so scared, I thought your security would pop up and tackle me to the ground, cause this was at the time when you released your first album and the whole world saw you as an other worldly being"

"It was cute though. But we talked that night and then didn't speak again until we did black swan together"

"Been history ever since"

"Question something, name five kylie cosmetic products?"

"Can you name five kylie cosmetic products?"

"It's my sisters brand, of course" I said uncertainly

"Name them"

"Right now?"

"Right now"

"Well there's mascara of course and then for any great makeup look, of course you need a...... brush"

"A brush?"

"A brush, anyways next question is what's my favourite show at the moment?"

"Ted lasso! Easy peasy"

"I fucking love that show!"

"See. I've lost my wife to Richmond"

"Not yet, maybe after season two. Next question, which one of my sisters do I hang out with the most?"

"Khloe"

"Yeah probably Khloe this month. What is my favourite travis Scott song?"

"Doll can you even name a travis Scott song?"

"Sebastian I'm going to kill you" I muttered "but of course I can, there's one called... disco.....fever"

"Disco fever? Give me a little sample"

"Disco fever coming in hot, I go to the club and the party's none stop, dig me a grave cause I won't ever stop, seeing people like I'm shopping"

"I don't think I've hear of that song before Kades" Sebastian said with a huge grin

"It's unreleased obviously, it's going to be on his next album. Next question" I said and read the question and immediately started laughing "why didn't we check these questions before hand? Who came up with the name stormi?"

"I don't know" Sebastian said and we both started laughing "Kylie probably"

"Probably, who actually knows. Who was my favourite artist growing up?"

"Kadie? Is that even a question, Paul McCartney. The true love of your life"

"Fact" I laughed "I'm joking, I'm joking. And that's the end of our little questions" I smiled, throwing the pile of cards behind me

"What was the score?"

"Higher than kylie and travis!" I yelled "and at the end of the day that's all that matters, who cares about love. Beating family is all that matters"

"Exactly"

****

"Before I talk about todays song I'd like to thank everyone from everywhere in the world for the support and love on yesterdays song, happier than ever. I was so beyond nervous about releasing an album never mind releasing a song like that and the response has just been packed with overwhelming love and support and I could not be more thankful. I'm also loving all the videos I've seen of people listening to the song for the first time, I find them so funny"

"Anyway so todays song. Todays song is titled Eraser, it's the second song on the album. This song is kind of about just my life, where I started, where I've been, what I've been doing and everything in between. It's a reflection on my life. I personally love this song so much, it's one of my favourites, do I think you'll all love it as much? Not really. But I think this song is a perfect song for the start of the album"

"Eraser is streaming on all platforms as of the second I post this video. YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music everywhere. Please check it out and once again thank you all for the love on this album so far"

________________________

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