Beam's POV

After that night, we were definitely not the same. There were only two options. It was getting better or worse.

"How?" Forth said as if he did not care about what I just said. "If it's not the same. I already told you...this"

"Telling me what?" I grabbed the steering wheel tighter.

"I told you I'll try to win your heart."

I stepped over the brake only a little bit but enough to make Forth's head almost hit the glove compartment.

"Are you surprised?" He rubbed his forehead.

"No, I think your joke is not funny."

"A joke? How can you think that? You think it was a joke when I chased and annoyed you so much. "

"Shut up." I scolded him. "I have every right to think what I want. You were doing that because you felt guilty and it was not because you really want me."

Why was my voice so weak here? And why did I feel so strange inside? As if I was having butterflies in my stomach. Was I annoyed by my own words?

It was like I kept telling myself repeatedly that fact. That his feeling for me was out of guilty, not because he wanted me. It was his conscience from a responsible person like him.

"No, it is not"

Forth startled me till I forgot to pay attention to the road but his face.

"At first I felt guilty. I was wrong. So I just wanted to take responsibility, but ..." Forth looked out the window.

"Beam makes Forth fall in love with Beam."

I turned to focus on the road. But I could not see the road clearly anymore because of his words.

"You're right. I could not get Beam out of my head." He pointed his head.

It seemed that you've been thinking of me as much as I...

"Was I that good in bed or just so admirable?" I tried to make a joke. But I regretted saying that out loud now because it affected my playboy image. From being a fucker to becoming a catcher.......that was crazy.

"Hahaha" Forth laughed without looking at me. "Yes, you are."

The silence was once again brewed inside my car. I sighed gently as I continued driving the car slowly until we were a little away from our school. Then I turned to tell Forth.

"I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" He asked right away.

"Just wait here ok."

I was buying bandages from the Pharmacy. I threw them on his lap when I got back in the car. He looked at me and was confused.

"You bought them for me?"

"Nope. You have to pay me next time." I was joking.

"Wow. You are so cute!"

Shit.....normally people praised me for being handsome and cool, not cute. But Forth said I was cute. And why was I proud of that?

"The blood will stain my car." I said then I took the cotton from the Emergency kit I bought earlier before handing it to him. "Wipe it off. It looks rather frightened the more I look at you."

"I got a cut on my left arm. I cannot lift it now." Forth opened his left arm for me to see it. Why did his arms seem so weak?

"I'm not sure if I should bring you to the hospital right away." I yelled at him.

"Why do I have to go to the hospital? The doctor is here, right?"

"I am not a doctor yet. I'm just a sophomore medical student."

"You can cleanse the wounds for me, right?"

"Huh?"

"Please."

Shit! I shook my head hurriedly. I would not do it no matter how much he begged me. To be honest, I could not even look at his face for more than 5 seconds. I was not sure if it was the shame from that night that I was afraid to look at him. This was what we called cannot look in the eyes.

"It really hurts." he said it repeatedly until he closed his eyes and I pulled the cotton from his hand. As soon as my eyes met his face, I had to try very hard to focus only on that particular cut area. His eyes were so bright and sharp staring at me. Not mentioning about his beard yet...

It always reminded me of that night when I looked at his face. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Ouch!"

"Oh I'm sorry." I said out loud when I touched his wound.

"It hurt." He shouted.

"Who told you to let me do it?"

"Because I trust you."

Trust me? Believe in me.... I was thinking about that night again.

"Strange! You need a head doctor to check on your mind?" He said when he saw me making strange face.

"Are you crazy?"

"You're probably the crazy one."

"By whom? Who did this to me?" I complained.

"You invited me that night."

'...' He was damn right. My jaw dropped to the ground.

"Ok, sorry, I will not talk about it again."

I felt so cheap here. It was not because of him, but myself. I became so strange and I could not even find a fragment of my old self.

"Actually, I did not want to disappear for the last 4-5 days like that. But I'm afraid I would upset you and you got annoyed."

'................'

"How's about this? Let's do this then! I'll follow my way of courting you while ignoring everything you want. That way you will not feel uncomfortable."

'...............'

"I care. Yes I do."

I tried to avoid looking at him. Even though there were many street lights, I still cannot see anything outside at all.

"I felt so guilty seeing Beam felt uncomfortable." He kept talking. "What is this?" he took out a small bottle of medicine from a plastic bag I bought earlier and asked me.

"Iodine tincture." I turned to answer him.

"Shit." He put it back into the bag.

"What?"

"It stings". He seemed to be scared of it

"You need to use it to disinfect your fresh wounds."

"No way ..." He wrapped the plastic bag and put it aside.

"Your wounds must be sterilized."

"Later."

"No, it must be now to avoid unnecessary infection!"

"No, it stings."

'...'

"Fuck"

I took back the plastic bag from him and took out all the first aid kits needed to cleanse his wounds.

"Are you serious?" He still put on his scared face.

"Of course, otherwise you will get an infection later."

"It stings so much."

"When you punched and kicked your enemies, didn't you feel the pain too?"

"I focused only on the integrity of that moment ... and my wife that came out of nowhere."

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing." He said before screaming with the top of his lung when I started cleansing and dressing his wound.

"Ouch!!!!!!"

He had such a fucking handsome and manly face. But he screamed and complaint like a little baby when I applied iodine on his cut.

I looked at him as I could not believe what I saw with my own eyes.

He still looked so handsome, even with bandages on his face. He had this pure charm and evil aura with his beard, piercings and those tattoos. Damn it. I have seen every single one of them. In contrast, his complexion was very pale with perfect white teeth and beautiful thin lips.

He really deserved to be our Campus Moon.

"Why are you staring at me?" He looked up and realized that I was looking at him. So I quickly turned to a different direction. "Are you hungry? Let's eat anything together."

"No. I have an appointment later." I lied.

"With whom, Kit or Pha?"

I looked blinked quickly at him.

"Okay, I knew I have no right to ask." He looked kind of upset. Shit!! Why did I feel hurt seeing his sad face? It seemed like he tried to give me space.

"How are you doing now? Is it still painful when you are walking?"

"Fuck. It was days ago."

"I don't know." I lowered his head with a soured face. "We did not use a condom. And no lubricant too. I think it must really hurt and I saw some blood too."

Why do you need to say it in detail?

"I'm fine now." I changed the subject quickly. "Are you done with your meal? I'll give you a ride back."

"If you're in a hurry, you can go first. I'll call my friend to pick me up."

He thought I was in a hurry for my date. His expression was not serious. I was the one who had a serious expression because I was the one who lied.

I was being such a guy who needed a lot to handle, while he was so plain and simple.

"No, I'll give you a ride."

"But we have to go back to school since my bike was there."

"It's okay. No problem."

"How's about the person waiting for you? Is he or she going to be okay?"

"Alright, I'll go then." I quickly got up and walked away while Forth looked so shocked, not knowing what to do.

Until ... I turned back and walked towards him.

"Hi there, how long have you been waiting? I'm sorry that I was late. I was waiting for an asshole to finish his meal."

Forth was very confused at first before laughing out loud and making a sympathetic face.

"Oh really? That jerk must be very handsome. I am sure."

"But less than me."

"Forth does not think so."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." Forth replied quickly.

"Since you're here and late, let's order something to eat. You must be hungry."

"Let me look at the menu."

He now smiled showing his perfect teeth. "Okay, can I have a look at the menu please?"

That was it. I gave up and dropped all of my drama and being plain and simple with him. This was my only true form, just like an onion. Many layers but they were all white....It was not like he was the only one who cared.

"This is delicious, eat a lot."

"I thought I was only one that likes this dish."

"Forth ordered them for Beam. I ordered almost everything since Beam said that Beam was very hungry here, here and here too."

Enough! My plate was already full.

"You need a lot of nutrition."

"For what?"

"Haha."

"Why do you always treat me like I am pregnant all the time?"

"No, not even close ..."

'...........'

"More...like a wife."

"Wife my ass! Fuck you!"

"Shhh...don't be too loud."

"I don't know and I don't care. Next time, you have to be my wife."

"Are we going to have the Next Time?"

'...............'

"Okay, but we both must be sober."

"Shut up!!!!"

"So Beam will be satisfied. Much more satisfied than that night."

"Stop talking."

"You're the one who said I'll fuck me next time."

"Do you let me?"

"No."

"Damn it. That was so unfair."

"It was too late, baby..."

"No, I won't let you do me next time."

"But Forth already did Beam."

"Shut up and do not you dare to remind me!"

"Haha."

"Just wait and see. Someday, you will be mine."

"This meant we'll seriously have a next time, right?"

"Fuck no. I did not mean like this."

"Haha..............."

#End36

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-Chris-