for someone who yearns to be loved- y/n l/n can barely tell that she's fallen in the first place. 

over the course of a month, her days with boothill make her irk with annoyance. the mere fact that she had to endure washing her mouth with soap after too many 'centipede in coffee' accidents, or cleaning off her beloved white shoes after the man decided it was a great time for them to play with the pigs when she clearly wasn't dressed for the occasion just sends a wave of irritation in her being.

she'd like to think that the past few weeks were normal. that her stomach making flips at every kind gesture he'd do was nothing but mere suspicion because let's face it- she's seen too much of his bullshit to even believe that he's capable of being kind to her. or the fact that her cheeks growing warm was all the doing of the heat and certainly not the twenty-one year old man who carried her after falling from a tree.

yep. it's totally annoyance.

how could it not be? after all, she's feeling nothing but displeasure as she looked around her messy room- seeing her things scattered all over as the (h/c) haired girl just started to sort through her things. y/n is leaving in a week, and with all of her things plus the extra souvenirs she got, she needs to pack in advance if she wants a smooth departure. 

(e/c) eyes are currently looking at the things she'd brought with her from the city, humming in thought as she can't help but want to leave a little something for the friends she made during her stay. right now, she can't decide whether to leave emma a bracelet or a dress- imagining the girl in both to see which one would fit her better.

"ah fuck it, she'll have both." she muttered, setting the jewelry and dress aside as she moved on to packing her own clothes. 

although she told herself at the beginning of her trip that she'll absolutely not make any connections during her vacation, it can't be helped that some people managed to enter her heart. for one, emma was always there to spend time with her doing girlish activities or baking treats whenever the girl wasn't with stan doing farm work. and even when faced with silence from the city girl, she never took it to heart and included her in activities she thought would suit her.

she's a kind girl, and y/n feels a bit guilty knowing that this will be the first and last summer they'll spend together.

her mind went to boothill- the man who lacked the basic emotion of embarrassment and pulled her out of the house whenever opportunity sees fit. the girl had nothing in mind to give him yet, and would feel even more shitty if she were to leave without handing him an item as thanks for all the adventures they went on. 

if she was being honest, she feels saddened more at the thought of leaving boothill than emma. maybe it was because he wasted gas and time out of his day to make sure she gets to see every nook and cranny their town has to offer? 

yeah, that's it.

a small frown tugged on her lips subconsciously, making the girl halt in folding her clothes as her mind flashed every waking moment she spent with the man. every bicker, every annoying laughter that came out of his lips made her heart thump a beat quicker than she would've liked. every 'careful, sweetheart' that he uttered caused her stomach to do summersaults in the middle of her room.

even if they spend their entire afternoon on the field, their conversations would always be meaningful. whether it be his disheartened emotions at his mother, or the fear and pressure she feels as a college student- the two would listen to one another without judgement. sure, he'd be cocky here and there.

but he has the talent of shutting up when needed.

y/n placed down the unfolded jacket she was holding as she looked around her room for something to leave for him. the mere thought of leaving didn't bother her before- but now? she sort of wishes that summer would stretch out a bit more. 

nothing in her possessions fit the man, which made her grumble in annoyance. he just had to be unique, huh? if it weren't for the fact that she was kneeling on the hardwood floors in search for a gift for him, she wouldn't have snapped out of her reverie and question her own actions.

why was she going out of her way to get him something anyways? 

emma was a different topic. but boothill? 

there was a look of confusion written all over her face as she realized what she was doing, looking at her own reflection in the mirror as she spotted the faintest of blush coating the apples of her cheeks.

was it really that hot out? 

what the hell is she doing? 

no, the best question here is- why was she thinking about him in the first place? 

he's annoying, a thorn on her side that wouldn't get off. he's the rooster in her grandfather's barn that wouldn't stop croaking even if it was in the middle of the night. he's the wasps that would chase her around just for breathing.

he's someone she tolerated to hang out with.

so why the hell does her heart hurt so much just by thinking of him? 

"... i'm going insane, aren't i?" y/n muttered to herself, running a hand down her face as she forced herself to stand up. she doesn't have any energy to continue packing, deciding to walk over to the window as she leaned over the windowsill, relishing in the crisp air that blew on her face as the smell of maize's freshly baked cherry pie reached her senses.

(e/c) eyes glossed over the field in front of her, wishing that she had the ability to paint such a breathtaking view. a hum made it past her lips when she looked over to the barn, finding a familiar figure standing there beside henry with his hands occupied with hay. 

thump.

the girl stared from her windowsill, eyes trained at the familiar black and white tresses of the cowboy as she watched him laugh with the old man. 

thump.

she gazed a minute longer than she had hoped for, long enough to find him sporting a grin as he finished up with his task. his cowboy hat wasn't on him, making her see just how smooth and beautiful his hair actually was- even if it was tied behind him.

thump.

y/n couldn't tear her eyes away from boothill even if someone were to slap her right then and there, his laughter reaching her ears that caused a small smile to etch itself on her face. her eyes softened than she hoped for, her body turning into mush as both men began walking back towards the house. 

thump thump. 

carmine eyes looked up to the open window as an empty sight welcomed him. strange, he surely felt someone looking at him just minutes ago.

inside the room, the girl was hiding behind the wall, her brows creasing into a furrow as her heart started to beat frantically against her chest. something was definitely wrong with her- so wrong that she had to avoid getting spotted by the same man she was staring at.

her fingers clenched the fabric of her shirt above her chest, feeling the harsh thumps of her heart beat as heat rose to her face.

this was way different from what she's used to feeling, almost growing lightheaded as her head leaned back against the wooden surface of the wall. never in her nineteen years of living had she met someone who can make her heart race like a marathon, nor someone who can make her turn pink out of embarrassment and nervousness.

it felt too good to be true.

being the cultured girl as she is, she definitely has a diagnosis to what she's feeling- and she damn hopes she's wrong lest she'll be the worst doctor to ever grace the planet. 

it was just a hypothesis, after all.

but in order to get the answer to her question, she'll need to conduct an experiment. and she needs to do it soon before she goes back to penacony and regret ever having a damned heart. there's no doubt about it, and she isn't at all questioning how it happened- she just needs to make sure that what her heart is telling her is right before coming to a conclusion.

one that would change the trajectory of the next summers after this.

welcome to y/n l/n's guide to romance, with the first step is treating your love interest like a lab rat!