"What about my other eye?" I whispered. From the hesitant silence that answered, I knew the answer. "Baizhu, tell me," I cried, as if he would tell me anything but the truth. As if his words and promises could change fate. I wanted them to—I needed his graceful psalms and his healing phrases to write my story a happy ending.

His grip only tightened around mine. I could feel tears run down my cheeks, one flaky and purple, one smooth and clear. I felt the hesitation that surrounded both our figures and the despair that hung in the air. But amidst the negativity, I felt also strength and hope. The author of my story. Gentle hands cleared my fringe and soft lips touched my forehead. An easing voice whispered on to my skin: "I'll save you."

But the promise didn't reach me like it had all the other times. It only reminded me of my burden—and of the weight my being must put on his shoulders. This thought caused my tears to cease as I realised what I must do. Baizhu turned from me then to talk to Gui, who I heard at the door.

He still wanted to save me.

But I had made up my mind.

⁜※⁜

The wind was cool at the top of Yujing Terrace as it rustled through my hair the way it ran through leaves. I looked back briefly at the Pharmacy—or at least, at the Pharmacy's faint outline. The sun was setting. The world was growing colder with every waking moment—and it would grow colder still when I entered eternal rest. If I had the ability to see them, some of the earliest stars would be blinking to life.

My hands gripped the railing tightly, my right once again bandaged, this time all the way up to my neck. Baizhu had applied a special salve to my face instead of bandaging it. It warmed my skin—but I welcomed the feeling. I welcomed anything save for the cold darkness that awaited me.

I looked down over the railing—to the fall. I couldn't see the bottom—but I knew it was far enough. Would it be warm where I would go?

My fingers trembled, already missing the sight of the twin suns that gazed over me with so much care. I was leaving them behind—but what was the point in staying if I couldn't see them anyway? It was only a matter of time before my vision completely left me.

I gasped quietly as an arm slung over my shoulder, pulling me close to a slender body. I instantly recognised her hold. "Director Hu..."

"What are you doing up here?" she asked me, her voice more solemn than it usually was. This caught me off-guard, but I didn't answer. She looked down where I was looking and let out a long whistle. "Careful—it'd hurt if you fell."

I felt annoyance at that. She knew exactly what I was trying to do. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was going to conjure up a scheme to kidnap Qiqi while everyone was busy—but the whole Pharmacy was in turmoil." I felt her gaze on me. "They're looking for you, Y/n."

I figured it wouldn't be long before they realised I was gone. But I had made up my—

"Baizhu's... looking for you."

My eyes widened slightly, and I felt a strong sense of hesitancy run through my body, sticking me in place. A breath shuddered out of me. "Baizhu..." I whispered. It would hurt him the most if I went through with this.

But I had to. There was nothing left for me here but pain. First, my eyes. What next? My tongue? My ears?

I heard Hu Tao sigh in an exhale. "I know I can't say I know what you're going through—or that I've felt anything close to what you're feeling now—but I do know that what you're thinking of will result in a premature death." I heard her lean on the railing beside me. "I've seen it before, being a Funeral Parlour Director, after all. The families are always heartbroken." She paused. "I think you know where I'm going with this."

".. I don't have any family."

"Don't you?" My hands curled into fists, the bandage coarse against my skin—or what was left of it. "You've lost a lot—but haven't you also still got lots to lose? It's tough, but is it really worth a premature death? You can't go back, you know." She giggled a little. "At least, that's what Baizhu would say, right? Don't you believe in him?"

I'll save you.

Those three words—words that meant more to me than anything else—hung in the air around us. I sighed and hung my head. I was the worst kind of fool. How could I do this to him? To Qiqi and Herbalist Gui? I was the one that had gone cold, not my situation.

Hu Tao chuckled again like a child who was just shy of being caught in a game of hide-and-seek. "Aiya. I hear them. Time to make my exit." I lifted my gaze to see her jump onto the railing, sitting with her back to the fall. "I don't wanna see you as my client until you're one hundred—no, one hundred and two years old, you hear?"

With that, she saluted me farewell before jumping backwards off the Terrace. I reached my hand out to her in shock—but she had already deployed her glider, her figure assimilating with the darkness.

Footsteps echoed behind me and I straightened. Turned. I could barely make out his figure so far away, but I knew exactly who it was. I ran to him before he could take another step and his arms engulfed me, his embrace consuming me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, the tears falling once again, though not from my illness this time. Rather, it was the fear of what I could have lost tonight that pained me.

"I told you I'd save you," he said, hand on the back of my head to hold me close.

"I was stupid."

"No no..." he replied, ever the gentle person. "It was I who took too long."

"You have only and always done all you could." His hold on my body tightened—and I felt safe once again. My hand rested on the base of his neck as I returned his hug. "I wanted to believe in your promise. And... I know that you'll save me."

"I will," he promised again.

"I know you will."

With that, he led me back. Led me home, for the Pharmacy was more of a home than my own lodging was at this point. A thick strap was wrapped around my head, covering my vision. Though it scared me to see only darkness, I trusted in Baizhu and his decisions. His hand often squeezed my own when the strap would be washed and changed over, where I would be met with momentary light before returning to darkness for an extended period of time. Each time, the scent of herbs that soaked the strap was strong and renewed.

Though I was almost entirely without sight, I could feel a change come over me—over the Pharmacy. I felt lighter. Felt happier. Felt warmer. I felt the purple withdrawing to whence it had come—and felt freed.

I learned to see the world without my eyes. Learned to hear and smell and feel the world around me. Learned to hone my senses. Learned to live.

Baizhu's hand was tight around mine as he led me out of the treatment room to the administration at the front, where Gui was busy sorting herbs. I heard him hand a container to Baizhu, for my ears had become my main source of information since I had given up my sight to treatment.

He sat me down on a padded stool and I wondered what he was doing. "Are you ready?" he asked after a moment, and I noticed his voice sounded lighter than it usually did. Excited, even. I nodded, and felt soft hands undo the knot at the back of my blindfold.

"It's coming off?" I said, my voice calm though my stomach jumped in excitement, also. It had been months since it had come off—since I had last seen light. And it never came off outside of the treatment room.

"Yes," Baizhu said happily. The strap slid off and my eyes squinted at the sudden light—and I saw twin suns looking at mine. It took me a moment to realise what I was seeing. Shape. Colour. Light. I saw... Baizhu. My eyes welled with tears and he hugged me tightly—and maybe he was crying, too. I couldn't say for sure, his body shuddering as my arms slunk around his back.

I saw the sun setting in the distance, red, pink and orange hues melding together, wispy clouds meandering across the sky like sheep grazing lazily in a paddock. Baizhu pulled away and a small smile settled on my lips. Not even the beautiful sight outside could compare to the way his eyes made me feel. Simply... breathtaking.

"Don't forget to show her the other thing," Changsheng said, butting in.

Baizhu hushed her and reached for my hand, so soft in his. Its trembling had been reduced to the occasional shiver. But it wasn't that that made my eyes widen and well with tears once more.

I lifted my hand from his to see it in better lighting. It was... clean. Purified of the disease.

"Is it... gone?" I whispered, not daring to raise my voice and shatter this delicate moment.

Baizhu nodded, cupping my cheek in his hand, turning my gaze to him. "I waited a few days just to be sure. It's gone for good." He brushed his thumb over my right eye, a slight frown on his face. I wanted so much to wipe it off his face—to remove whatever it was in the world that caused this man any despair. "I'm sorry I couldn't restore sight to this eye."

I reached for his wrist, pulling it away from my unseeing eye to my good one. "Focus on what you could do for me." My restored fingers gently brushed his. "What you did do for me."

Our fingers twined, and I rested my forehead on his. I would thank the Archons that the Pharmacy was empty—but something told me this moment had been in the making for a while.

Here, sharing in this intimate moment with the wine-coloured sunset, alone in a world that was our very own, I felt a new sort of strength come over me. And I released him, pulling back but still keeping his hand clasped tightly in my own. "I have three things to say to you, each of increasing importance." Baizhu remained still, curiosity glittering in his eyes. He remained quiet, listening intently. I took a breath, and then, "One; thank you. For everything you've ever done and everything you will ever do. Two; I'm sorry."

"Y/n, you've never—"

I held my hand up, gently cutting him off. "I've caused you a lot of trouble—so please, let me apologise." At that, he quieted down, nodding. "And three..." I took another breath, stablising myself. "Baizhu, I..." No turning back. "I love you."

In the silence that reigned, I was worried Baizhu was finding a polite way to reject me. But that thought was immediately extinguished as I felt his fingers on my chin pulling my face towards his—and our lips met in a moment more passionate than I had ever felt possible for the placid doctor.

I smiled at that—but more so at the promise he and I exchanged by that one action. In that world that was only ours to see, we'd share a love that only few had ever known.

Something in me stirred—awakened. And it was this—it was his acceptance and kiss—more than anything I had ever experienced before and anything I ever would in the future, that made me glad I was here, alive and cured and strong. 

⁜※⁜

Extra:

Not far away, a young zombie watched the two carefully, familiar and close with the two—but not so much with the emotion they were displaying. She twitched as a presence suddenly appeared beside her: Hu Tao. The Funeral Parlour Director rested her arms on the railing on the bridge, propping her head on her hand, and sighed.

The young zombie began to tiptoe away; if she hadn't taken her away by now, maybe she hadn't noticed her. "Don't bother running," Hu Tao said in her light, almost melodic voice. "I won't chase. I'll truce for today. Don't want to interrupt a moment like this, after all."

Slowly, hesitantly, Qiqi walked back to her place, watching the two new lovers. That's what they were feeling... Love. What strange things she could feel—but also couldn't.

And yet, despite her inability to feel as strongly as she used to when she was alive, she felt a smile forming on her face, and a sense of peace settled over the area. "No," she replied, racking her brain for the right words. "We don't."

⁜※⁜

A/N: It's been just over a year since I first published on here. I'm grateful to all who've read and stuck around, and apologies for not uploading frequently anymore. I've genuinely been missing writing, like a lot. Hopefully, my big project will be finished and uploaded soon(ish) and that you'll all enjoy the read!

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Completed: 18-06-24
Published: 18-06-24
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Fanart credits: https://x.com/spitepress/status/1615628456976343041/photo/1