"I only want to begin again... you arrive at my door, expecting to reconcile our differences, and..." She trailed off, looking into her cup of tea.
"I simply wanted to give you peace." In reality, he wanted to inch toward her, to caress her cheek and kiss her beautiful lips, knowing this would be a temptation he would forever live with and could not have. It was his punishment and he deserved every moment of the suffering.
Feeling as though she was ready to burst into the night and transform into something new, Kalina waved any doubt away. "I forgive you, Helmut."
Taken aback by the statement, the man felt his existence melt into the Turkish rug in Kalina's living room. She looked into his eyes with sincerity, reassuring him that she meant what she had said.
"I cannot hold onto this resentment for any longer. It has destroyed you, Helmut. I will not carry this burden another moment." Kalina leaned forward for the tea, and took a larger sip, now that it had cooled. Helmut knew she was right, the hate and anger he harbored had ripped him apart. Watching her suffer the same fate was a punishment worse than his self inflicted imprisonment.
Feeling guilty, and not worthy of her grace, Helmut moved toward her. "What has caused the shift in perspective?"
Pulling her knees to her chest and leaning back in the settee, she let the robe she wore open slightly, exposing her bare thighs. It was purely an accident, but the timing felt right. Kalina was tired of living up to her high expectations and had decided to simply live. Consequences no longer bothered her and she had spent her life up to this point meticulously calculating her every move. Now, she was ready to be reckless.
"I realized that I need to be free." Helmut nodded, impressed by the answer. Kalina had always been a strong, independent woman, and that was one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with her. She refused to accept anything less than respect, and that included from him.
"As you should, moya zaika." He reminisced all the times he had called her little dove, and while she was no longer his to coo, he still felt a sense of overwhelming protection over the woman. He wanted to dote on her every wish and desire and to treat her like a queen. She was the only person in the universe that could make Helmut weak in his knees, and he was all too aware of the control she had over him.
"Where will you go tomorrow?" Kalina had finally broken the ice between them and felt comfortable making small talk, as she pulled the tea to her face once again, noticing it had grown cold. Helmut tightened the grip on his whiskey glass.
"To Selby." Kalina almost choked on her drink.
"Madripoor?" She was entirely aware of the Indonesian criminal stronghold. It was an incredibly dark market that boasted a high crime rate, and it made Kalina uneasy to know that Helmut was heading into the snake pit. He had done work in Madripoor for his father before, but the Snap had created a breeding ground for some very dangerous and entirely unethical practices in the region. It was no longer a crime haven, but a death sentence if you were caught looking in the wrong direction, and Selby was notorious for being the wrong person to make deals with. Even Kalina, who chose to tread lightly above the underground, was uncomfortably aware of the competitors off the grid. "You must be absurd."
Helmut shook his head, swirling the last bit of whiskey in his glass. Noticing he had started to pace around the living area, he quieted his legs and put his free hand in his coat pocket. "We need to find who is recreating the super soldier serum... to put and end to them."
Kalina's ears rung as he alluded to putting an end to the dealer, still uncomfortable with some of the methods Helmut employed in his bidding. Oddly, she found her reaction to be minimal in comparison to her past life, becoming desensitized to the criminal world that lurked beneath her Louboutin heels.
She leaned forward again, placing her empty tea cup on the table, unsure whether she was more concerned about Helmut's desperation to kill the serum dealer, or his safety in Madripoor. "...but, Selby. That's a dangerous game, Helmut."
The man cocked his head in confusion. He could not read the woman's demeanor, unsure if she was showing concern for his well being, or simply stating facts. "I have nothing to lose, Kalina. I have never allowed my business to go unfinished."
Understanding his motives, she still did not agree. Remembering his transgressions against the Avengers, she recognized that Helmut would not move on without completing what he had started. He had never been a man to leave a stone unturned, but speaking on the topic seemed so dark to Kalina, as opposed to the now seemingly light hearted arms deals and gun trading he used to conduct for his father. The Helmut Zemo that stood in her home now was a man who would stop at nothing to fulfill his obligation, and that meant crushing anyone who opposed him.
Unable to move past his comment, she pressed. "You have your life to lose. Is that no longer worth something?"
He hadn't thought about it, but was reminded that he had once chosen to take it himself. Feeling lost, with no goal other than the accomplishment of his personal mission, death seemed to be a sweet mistress he could never reconcile with. Kalina was no longer a hope to look toward, despite the peace that remained between them in that moment.
"I have lived my life, Kalina... and at what cost? To rot away in Berlin?" She shook her head, unaccepting of the response. Helmut shifted on his feet, before moving to the chaise across from her, finding a comfortable position and crossing one leg over the other. He leaned back and rested his arms on the top of the chair, a ribbon of arrogance and disregard for his own life danced on his whiskey laced words. "I deserve the penalties I have written to my record, but that is no life to live... in confinement and solitude."
Kalina felt a pang of guilt for his situation. He was a terrorist, but she still felt compassion for him and longed to see him free of his own burdens. Wanting to reach out and touch him, she kept her hands in her lap firmly. She could not deny the cosmic connection they shared and was lost to explain her feelings in the moment.
"I understand solitude." She put her hands up, and looked around, reminding him of her own loneliness in the penthouse. "I did not commit the crimes, and yet I, too, have felt the pressure of isolation."
The man nodded, looking to the ground. If he were to lecture anyone on loneliness, it absolutely could not be Kalina. They were both broken and lost, one choosing this life because of heartbreak and the other because of rage. They were two perfectly imperfect individuals that fit together like puzzle pieces, and yet their tainted past kept them separated by a cautious distance.
"I never wanted you be alone." Helmut sighed. "It was one of the reasons I left you without warning... so that you could be free."
Kalina shook her head, tucking her legs under themselves and snuggling into the settee, feeling the comfort of sleep whisper in her ears. "Did you want your family, your wife, to die at the hands of another?"
Heart skipping a beat, Helmut looked at her abruptly. He was unaware that she knew the details of his family's demise, but couldn't be surprised. After his rampage against the Avengers, she was bound to dig deeper, as it was like Kalina to know everything about her surroundings. He was also startled at her boldness. "No. I did not."
She nodded, knowing the answer before he had even spoken. "No... and yet it was the consequence of an action that you had no control over."
The man furrowed his eyebrows, agreeing silently. He had never had control over the situation in Novi Grad, and yet he chose to take it upon himself to settle the score with the offenders.
"No one had control. Not even the Avengers... and yet, here we are. Left with what remains." Kalina eyed him with intensity, aggressively trying to drive her point across. She could tell the conversation did not necessarily make him uncomfortable, but his eyes were searching for the appropriate feelings to express.
He looked to her, making contact with her gaze. "...and what is that?"
With a stoic look, Kalina answered. "Casualties."
Despondent that she was such a derivative woman, Helmut agreed again. He had left her to pick up her heart after he had exposed it to vulnerability, unprotected in the storm he had created. Almost the same could have been said about the Avengers' engagement in Novi Grad. Helmut had done what he thought was right for Kalina, and left her in ruin, and could see the parallel she had created between the two separate events.
It made him feel guilty for the way he had responded. Kalina did not seek to destroy his every being after he left her with a mess to clean, and yet this is exactly what he had done in response to the fall of Novi Grad. The two adults complimented each other fully. He did not regret his actions to tear apart the Avengers, and a part of him retained his vengeful, power driven mindset, but Kalina made him think more carefully about his responses to desperation. He admired her courage and strength, and was reminded in that moment of how human he really was.
Kalina looked out the window toward the terrace, seeing the lights of what buildings remained illuminated reflect off the glass panes. It evoked life, and to her, that was enough to carry on. She could have crawled into herself and given up entirely when Helmut left, but she had chosen life. Helmut had chosen chaos and death, and yet she knew this still wasn't the end for him.
"You have much more to live for, Helmut... whatever that may be." Kalina wanted to drop her inhibitions entirely, because as much as she tried to deny the pull, she was still drawn to him even after all these years. He still had control over her, regardless of how much she tried to fight it. Desperate to shout Live for me! she kept her comments vague, not wanting to give away her tell.
Helmut was conflicted by her words, knowing that despite the wisdom she expressed, ending the super soldiers would be the final accomplishment he could cross off his list. The remaining objective would never be in reach again, and he would walk away from her one last time, accepting Kalina as his own personal casualty.
He took the last drink of his whiskey, before tipping the glass to her. "This is my mission now, Kalina."
The woman leaned back feeling defeated as she watched him rise to his feet and look toward the hall opposite her. She pursed her lips, and pointed in the direction of the guest suites, knowing the conversation between acquaintances had concluded.
"The two on the left are occupied. Take either remaining." Helmut nodded to her, bidding goodnight, and swept away into the shadows.
She was left in the quiet serenity of the living room, contemplating their conversation. Suddenly becoming very aware of her body, Kalina felt a rush of energy pulse through her fingertips, energized by the conversation and determined to act on her impulses. The metamorphosis had completed and she was ready to burst out of her cocoon into a newly transformed woman.
Her wings would take her higher than the glass ceiling she had created for herself and to places she had only seen in her dreams.
Helmut woke early, unable to sleep longer than a few hours. His circadian rhythm had been entirely disrupted during his isolation in the correctional facility. He hardly saw the daylight anymore, and was often woken in the middle of his slumber to screaming prisoners and angry brawls down the corridor. He had laid in the large guest bed for nearly an hour after his conversation with Kalina before the whiskey finally lulled him into a slumber, and woke to the sound of Sam and Bucky's shuffling down the hall.
It was not often he slept longer than the others in his party, usually an early riser, but the weight of the night with Kalina had rested on his chest and made him incredibly groggy as he opened his eyes to the Parisian street lights still peeking through the room curtains, noting that it was still dark outside. Looking at the Vacheron Constantin watch on his wrist, the time was just past four in the morning.
It would take nearly half the day to fly into Madripoor, and with the five hour time difference, the night would provide them the perfect atmosphere to link in with Selby through one of her clubs. They would move to the low town district, grab drinks at the bar to blend in, and push onto their objective.
The Avengers had the right idea leaving Paris early, and it would be good to depart before Kalina woke up. Their presence would be best dismissed in the silence of the early morning, and Helmut wanted to cut the cord swiftly, letting the new peace between the two Sokovians be all that remained.
Sitting up, he draped his legs over the edge over the mattress, finding comfort in the sheets. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept in a proper bed, and Kalina's fine taste in Egyptian cotton caressed his body like it was a sin. He inhaled the sweet scent of the linen, and longed for one more moment in the home, but knew his time had drawn to a close.
After cleaning himself up in the luxurious bathroom, he redressed himself, needing to retrieve a fresh set of clothes on the flight to Indonesia. Grabbing the last of his belongings, he stepped into the hall, swiftly moving in silence to avoid disturbing the morning. His quiet tiptoeing was cut short by Sam's all too familiar laugh from somewhere across the penthouse that echoed off the walls.
Moving into the living area, a flicker of light from down the corridor pierced the darkness of the room. Cautiously, Helmut moved toward the illumination, finding himself arriving in the kitchen to three bodies laughing around the large island. Kalina had made warm breakfast buns that were placed delicately in a bowl made of fine Polish ceramic, and had a kettle of Turkish coffee brewed.
Sam stifled his laughter with another bite of bun, and Bucky sipped on the coffee cup in his hand, needing a boost to cut through the insomnia he had faced during the night. He could find no comfort in the guest room, and spent most of his night reading from one of Kalina's bookshelves. The nightmares had not subsided, much to his dismay, and he found comfort in the escapism of fiction.
Kalina smiled genuinely at Helmut, no remnant of animosity remained in her expression toward the man. "Coffee? From Istanbul."
She taunted him with a coffee cup and he shook his head, wondering if he would regret it later as the morning effects of the whiskey he had the night prior set in. As he approached the island counter, he looked her up and down, noticing that she appeared to be dressed for travel. Bucky finished his cup and thanked Kalina for the breakfast, and Sam nodded in agreeance, grabbing another bun. The two men funneled out of the kitchen, the Falcon redirecting Helmut's attention to the clock on the wall, indicating that they were ready to leave.
Helmut looked at Kalina as they remained the only two in the room, watching her circle the island toward him. She reached for a bun, and handed it to him, now inches away from his body. Her perfume reminded Helmut of a field of poppies and was enticing to his senses. As he took the bun from her grasp, his eyes danced around her body, which had been shaped by the tight pencil dress that accentuated her curves. The heels she wore gave her an edge on him, but she still remained several inches shorter.
Like a tempting seductress, she had aged so gracefully. She was a siren calling his name, threatening to drown him with every note she sang. He couldn't help his gaze and felt her skin reaching out to him, reminding him of what he could no longer have. Taking a bite of the bun to cut the tension in the room, Helmut nodded respectfully to her.
"You look lovely this morning. Might I ask what has you up so early?" He had hoped to cut away from the penthouse in silence, but realized he would have to cut the line in person, something he hadn't had the courage to do before. He knew he deserved this, and it was karma for his previous dismissal from her life.
Kalina smiled sweetly, a hint of recklessness hiding behind the glimmer in her eyes. She would write her own destiny and would no longer linger on the actions of others. "Someone has to remind you the value of life."
Confused, Helmut finished the bite of breakfast food in his mouth, and slowly put the pieces together. There was absolutely no way he would allow her to escort them to Madripoor, let alone into Selby's den. This mission was for him to go alone with the Avengers in tow, and he would never threaten her life in agreeing to the hasty decision. "No. Kalina. Absolutely not."
She smirked. "I was not asking your permission, Helmut."
Clicking her heels away from the man, he was appalled at her response. He knew she was stubborn and bold, but found himself unable to formulate a response. There was no convincing the woman, she had made up her mind, and Helmut did not know if he wanted to argue with her. His main priority was to protect her from the threats they would face during this endeavor which meant staying as far away from it as possible. "Kalina, you cannot possibly think that is the best place for you to be when this commences."
Kalina shrugged, preparing to wrap the remaining buns for her wait staff who would be in to clean the penthouse later in the morning. "If you have no concern for your own life, perhaps you will consider mine when trying something."
Taking the buns and placing them in a tea towel, she moved the bowl to the butler pantry, and began to look for a card to write for the staff, requesting them to take their fill. Helmut could not finish the bun he started, and nearly choked on the pieces he had consumed. "Kalina, I consider your life more valuable than anything."
Closing the door to the pantry, she turned to the man and approached him again, this time with more assertiveness in her stature. She moved as close as she could without touching him, the warmth of their bodies colliding in the small space between them. Looking up into his eyes, he could tell there was no more argument and that the discussion had been settled. Kalina was in control, and he was submissive to her in that moment.
She refused to be a victim any longer. "It's my turn to be selfish."
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