ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ
𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐋𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭
⇆ㅤ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ↻

🏀

Hampton University
Mon. Dec. 15th,
"Alone Like Never Before"

"I'm passing back the test we took two weeks ago, completely graded...front to back. Per usual, a lot of y'all failed." Professor Long spoke as she handed out the paper tests. She placed Dess paper in front of her than handed Noah his.

Dess flipped the thick stack over to see the red one hundred printed on the corner of the paper. She smiled to herself while letting out a relieved sigh. She didn't think she was going to pass but seeing the one hundred in the red ink pen on her paper made her feel better. And less stressful. That was one out of the million things she didn't have to worry about anymore. A good grade wasn't much anyway in her opinion when she had much bigger situations to worry about. Like her relationship that she was sure wasn't even there anymore.

As disappointing as it was to say, Dess had a feeling her relationship with Shai might end. Some would say the reason was stupid but it wasn't in her opinion. Constantly having to deal with people talk about her weight was one thing she needed to adjust to. It was something that she always had to deal with since being a little girl. From her own family to friends and to complete strangers. It was a never-ending conversation starter that she was done hearing. But, she had to work on herself in order to stop worrying about other people opinions.

And she was trying her hardest. But, at the moment, she didn't know what to do with Shai. It hurt her all too much to even wanna speak to him. She blocked his number and his socials just to keep herself from not cracking first. She felt it coming too right they talked yesterday. She ended their conversation, slammed the door, and cried herself to sleep. At one in the morning, she found herself wanting to pick up her phone and text him so he could sleep beside her.

She stopped herself since she knew it wouldn't be good for her mental. Sometimes she had to minimize her niceness and be an asshole like how others do her. She might as well treat people the same way they treat her. Dess got out of her thoughts when she felt a nudge on her arm, making her turn to her left.

"Whatchu get?" Noah questioned, leaning closer to her. He accidentally took in the whiff of her perfume soon as he was close. She smelled amazing as usual.

Dess turned her paper in his direction. "A one hundred. You?" She asked.

Noah blew out a breath then showed his paper to her. Dess tuck in her lips seeing the thirty-eight that was on his paper. She sometime wondered what her classmates grades were just from seeing their grades on tests and quizzes.

"You don't even have to say anything." Noah muttered, shaking his head and leaning back in his seat. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Dess questioned, turning in his direction.

"Pass your test and quizzes?" He asked. "I mean you get A's on top of A's on top of A's with no issue in this class. I'm sure it's the same for other classes as well. I'm tryna get like you seriously." He explained further.

Dess shrugged, glancing at her test. "I don't do anything special besides studying every chance that I get. Just be mindful that if they tell you it's going to be on the test, it's really not." She informed him, chuckling a little bit. Noah chuckled too then nodded his head.

"Yeah, I should get started on that seriously." Noah mumbled. He sigh lowly in disappointment as he stared at his test. He knew if he didn't get his grades up sooner or later then his scholarship was going to be ripped away from him. And he was not trying to get that taken since he had no other way of paying for college. His parents would also kick his ass.

Noah placed his attention on Dess who was on her phone. Her side profile was truly a sight to see, he thought as he stared at her. It made him cringe at the way he treated her some weeks back. He knew if his parents were here then they would've knocked him upside his head for the way he was acting. Especially, his mother since she too was a heavy weight. He was only trying to be cool around his fellow Greek brothers. He realized his mistake though.

He apologized several times just to make sure that Dess knew he was truly sorry. Though she said they were cool, one would never really be sure. Regardless of what issue they had in the past, at the moment Noah couldn't deny just how pretty she was.

Noah cleared his throat then spoke, "So, Dess..." he said to get her attention. She turned to look at him and gave him a small smile.

"Wassup?" She asked. Noah hummed as he tried to find the right words. He froze up soon he saw the pretty smile of hers once she turned his way.

He scratched the back of his neck then cleared his throat. "Uhh...ehhh...so, the brothas and I are hanging out on the land tonight, and I was wondering if you would like to come out?" He questioned

"Oh," Dess muttered at his offer. She hummed, turning away from him and going back on her phone. She didn't have anything to say so she kept quiet. Surely enough, this wasn't going to be easy. Being an asshole wasn't for her.

"So?" Noah questioned since he didn't get an answer. He wasn't trying to pressure her but still wanted to hear something.

Dess nervously chuckled. "Umm, that sounds cool and all, Noah, but I have a lot of homework to do." She half told the truth. Majority of her homework was already finished besides her religion work and it was only reading.

"I care a lot about my work." She added just to make it more believable. She noticed the frown that showed on Noah face once she denied him, making her feel bad for letting him down.

"Right." Noah nodded his head. "Yeah, you're right. You're very into your work, you should maybe take a moment and really chill. It'll be helpful, so I read." He told her in attempt to try and convince her. Just one night with her would be nice.

Dess gave him a forceful smile, trying her hardest to let him down easily. "Noah-"

"Yo, Noah, you still trying?" She was interrupted by Jamal who was leaning forward just to be in their conversation. Dess look back at him to see that sly smirk on his face. She didn't need him to speak any more before knowing that he was about to be on his bullshit.

"Shut up, Jamal." Noah told him, knowing what he was about to do.

"I'm just wondering if you're still trying to get her. I thought the boys and I told you already that you don't have a chance with shawty." Jamal continued, taunting his friend. Noah rolled his eyes, over the conversation before it could even get started.

"Please just shut up, Jamal." Noah repeated himself once more just to stop whatever Jamal was trying to start.

"What?" Jamal asked, shrugging his shoulders. "Hey, Dess, did you know that Noah likes you? He's been speaking about you for a minute now and it's honestly weird at this point."

"Nice to know, Jamal." Dess remarked, reaching in her bag and taking out her AirPods. She checked to make sure they were charged before putting them in her ears.

"You know I think it's pretty funny that all of a sudden you wanna mess with her when you don't even like-"

Dess turned her music all the way up in order to block out Jamal loudness. She had Taylor Swift playing in her ears. A song expressing how she was feeling at the moment. Alone. Stuck in a place where her heart was broken. Stuck on the negative comments. Stuck on the bashing. Stuck on her boyfriend doing her wrong. Stuck on wanting her boyfriend right now.

A simple phone call or text saying she missed him. A simple kiss on the cheek. The smell of his cologne surrounding her. His arm wrapped around her while she fell into his chest, her eyes shut as she fell asleep peacefully. That's all she wanted. That's all she deserved. The main question lingering her mind was whether or not she'll actually get it.

"Probably not." Dess mumbled under her breath, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. She placed her attention on the clock, watching the minute and hour hands move slowly.

All she wanted was the best for herself.

🏀

Freya unlocked the bedroom door and entered. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Dess sitting on her bed, head in a book. Freya had thoughts of turning around but was unable to when her friend, Seth, came in behind her loud as usual.

"Do you think she'll let me suck her toes?" Seth shouted as he entered, accidentally bumping into Freya. Dess look up from her book at the two individuals that were in her room.

Freya tuck in her lips, "Sorry." She apologized. "I didn't know you were going to be in here. This is my friend Seth. Seth, this is my roommate Dess." she introduced the two of them.

Seth gave Dess a head nod. "Wassup. Do you think she'll suck my toes?" He asked in a funny but serious tone.

Freya hit his chest and gave him a look to act right. She knew Dess was the wrong person to be messing with at the moment. The two of them still weren't on good terms and since they haven't been around each other for a while Freya was unsure about Dess level of tolerance. She was trying to avoid as many problems as she could at the moment.

"Sorry for him." She apologized for ers friend. "I told him that I would do his hair today, but I didn't know you were going to be in here. We can leave if you want us to." She threw out there just for the sake of reassurance.

"It's fine, Freya. Do what you need to do." Dess told her with a small shrug. It's been a minute since the two of them been in the same room as each other and they both can admit that it was awkward as hell.

Freya understood why Dess didn't want to be around her and never pressed the issue. What she said was distasteful and rude on her behalf. She didn't expect Dess to ever wanna talk to her again which is why she tried her best to stay away. Create a boundary, a line that she didn't cross. She stayed out late just so Dess didn't have to see her face and possibly punch her. Sometimes she would stay over at Seth place when she wasn't sure if Dess was going to be in their room or not. She wasn't taking any chances.

Despite whatever they have going on at the moment, Freya missed the hell out of Dess. She missed their sleepovers, their movie nights, and the days they just talked. Life seemed so easy when they were good and around each other. She had frequent thoughts of apologizing but was scared when it came to Dess response. She wanted her friend back. Desperately.

"Are you sure?" Freya questioned. "Because I know how Seth can get and I don't want to disturb you if you're going any type of work."

Dess sigh, getting slightly annoyed. "I said its fine, Freya, really. Do whatever you need to do." She assured her once more.

Freya nodded her head but still stood at the door. She stared at Dess. Her ex-best friend that look like she was over it. The energy in the room was off and she wasn't sure if it was because she was here. A part of her wanted to leave it alone and the other wanted to be a friend. An actual friend.

Freya stepped in the room more, throwing her stuff on her bed. "Uhh, Dess, are you okay?" She questioned while leaning back.

Dess kept her head in her book. Normally, she would say she was trying to do her work but that wasn't the truth. For the past hour she was sitting on her phone staring at Shai's contact. For the past hour, she was debating on texting him. Saying what? She wasn't sure but something in the end. She wanted to curse him out.

She wanted to end it with him. She wanted to beg him to come to her room. She wanted a kiss from him. She was going through multiple emotions at the moment that she was unable to even think clearly. She hated this feeling.

"Dess!" Freya exclaimed a little bit to finally get her attention.

Dess finally turned to face her and Freya spoke, "Are you okay?"

"Yup, I'm fine." Dess quickly answered with a slight attitude. She was still over here trying to figure out what to do next about the tall, brown skin, handsome man she calls her boyfriend.

Freya scoffed, not believing her. "Yeah, right. You're not acting like yourself." She mentioned, crossing her arms. Dess sigh, looking up from her phone and facing Freya.

"And what exactly does that look like?" She questioned, coming off aggressive. "Me being nice? All smiles and dandelions? Cupcakes and roses? Because that's what I am right? Someone that's just always happy 24/7 despite how bad people make me feel with their words and their actions."

Freya frowned, having a feeling Dess reason for saying this was most likely because of her. She was still dealing with it and honestly didn't know when it will ever end. It might not though.

"I believe I'm the reason for that." She admitted, Dess tucking in her lips. It was the truth that Dess was not denying at all.

"I apologize..." Freya paused. She started playing with her fingers as she prepared to speak. "I was wrong for saying what I said to you, Dess. I don't expect you to forgive me for anything either. But, I want to say that I miss you a lot. I miss all the fun we had chilling with each other and talking about random shit."

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and continued talking, "What I said was not right and I realized that quickly after. You're an amazing person. Loving. Kind-hearted. Nice. Mad pretty and I'm jealous. I really am and that's the God honest truth. Your confidence is through the roof and everyone enjoys being around you. Even me. I know I made you feel a certain way and I apologize for that. But, you should never allow other people to make you feel like that. You're perfect in every way and you should embrace that."

Dess gave her a small smile. "It's kinda hard to do all of that when people constantly talk about you. Saying the same thing, making fun of you, teasing and more. I don't do anything to anyone and I end up being everyone's punchline. The jokes are always corny, but they still get to me." She mentioned with a small shrug.

"I know my opinion may not mean much but what others say shouldn't affect you. There's nothing about you that needs to be fixed, so don't think that there is. People are jerks if they say something negative about you." Freya told her.

"Even you?" Dess asked. She wasn't trying to be an ass either but just wanted Freya to come out and say it.

Freya nodded her head to her question. "Yeah. Even me." She admitted with no issue. She knew her fault and how wrong she did her friend. If she could go back and change everything then she would do so.

It went quiet between the both of them. Only thing that was heard was Seth loud signing in the bathroom. It was horrible which made both girls break out into laughter.

Freya shook her head at him. "Sorry about him. He's...he's something." She said.

"I can tell." Dess muttered, glancing down at her phone. She was still thinking about texting him but wasn't sure now. She was going to hold that off for a moment and handle Freya at the right now. She locked her phone then turned to look at Freya.

"I miss you too." She finally admitted, catching Freya off guard. Freya was going to say something but allowed Dess to finish. She didn't want to ruin whatever moment they were about to have.

"But...I'm not sure how I feel about rekindling our friendship at the moment. What you said was beyond forgiving and I honestly don't know about all of it. I miss everything that we did with each other. The fun and exciting times we had during the summer and the beginning of school. I genuinely valued our friendship to the T, so for you to do say some harsh stuff like that is wild to me. You're absolutely right when you said that I need to not worry about other people opinions about me. But, it's hard to do so when the people closest to you are saying the wildest shit." Dess continued.

Freya frowned but understood where she was coming from. She was going to accept it too and allow Dess to take control of the situation.

"Okay. I understand." Freya nodded accepting the small defeat of fixing their relationship. She knew it was going to take time and she didn't mind waiting.

"Well, I have hair to do, so I'm gonna leave you to your work. Umm, I'm going to order pizza for this man. I can get you something if you want. I know you like Hawaiian, I can get that for you." She offered, but Dess shook her head.

"No thanks. I'm just going to finish my reading." Dess told her, flipping to the next page in her book. She had yet to read a single sentence from the assigned reading. She'll do all of that tomorrow during study hall.

"Okay. If you need anything, please don't be scared to let me know. Now, lemme go and handle this hooligan." Freya chuckled while pointing at the bathroom door.

"Have fun." Dess told her. She didn't even know Seth but by the constantly loud screaming he was doing let her know that he was a character.

Freya got herself together and grabbed her things. She walked to the bathroom and entered to Seth obnoxiously talking on the phone. Soon as the door was shut, Dess was back to her thoughts. She shut her book then tossed it beside her. She leaned down, covering herself with her blanket, and unlocking her phone. She was still on her and Shai's message thread since she was rereading everything. The very last messages they had between each other.

𝐇𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲❤️😍💍

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐:𝟑𝟒 𝐀𝐌

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐧' 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬
𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲
𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬
𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮. 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭
𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞
𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭
𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈
𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧
𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲

𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧
𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐦𝐞
𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐈
𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲.
𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦
𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞
𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭
𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰
𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚.
𝐈 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭❤️

𝐀𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖𝐖
𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐦
𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲
𝐍𝐨𝐰, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞
𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬...𝐍𝐎𝐖!!!!

𝐥𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐨𝐦𝐰

Dess smiled to herself as she reread Shai long paragraph over and over again. Every time she read it she got that same feeling of security and happiness. That was how she felt in the beginning and that's how she felt now. A little mishap shouldn't end their relationship but it sure as hell will change it a bit. At the moment, Dess was missing her baby. And little did she know, Shai was missing her too.

🏀