"It doesn't matter anymore," Mikasa cuts in. "Just shut up and focus on opening the traitors neck. Hesitate for a moment and we forfeit Eren. Who cares what they pretended to be? This was their choice!"

Bertholdt grits his teeth, before shaking his head.

"No! You're wrong!" he spoke up firmly. "Who chooses to be this? Tell me!!!! What d'you think I am? Huh? What? You think this is what we aspired to be? People loathe us....and why wouldn't they? We're monsters! We deserve to die for the things we've done.....w-we're lost. We could live a thousand years and never again know peace. Try to imagine that darkness. The only light was our brief time as soldiers. It was never a lie! Do you understand?!......."

My eyes slightly widen seeing tears cascading down, eyes frantically searching for something but this. What's going on? I don't understand......

"......we're not who we said we were, but it wasn't an act!" He continues on, the pain writhing in his voice. "We genuinely thought of you as our friends! I'm not stupid. I know I have no right to ask forgiveness, but please. I beg of you........if we were comrades, someone find us."

".........."

My heart pounds heavily against my chest, while my emotions were conflicted and overwhelmed.

"Give him back, I won't ask again," Mikasa brushes his plead, cold-heartedly.

"I'm sorry, I can't," Bertholdt apologises. "One of you has to do it. One of you has to stain your hands with my blood!"

Before they could say anything, I could hear shouting from afar. Not even understanding from this distance, my stomach churns, as something unsettling was coming next.

Dammit, I can't trust myself......with my emotions.....

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