(041a - Reliving The Past.)

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This Chapter will probably piss you off so much. Like, y'all will scream and want to break heads💀. But I relish in that feeling 🌚.

So, shall we?😌

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𝐃𝐀𝐖𝐍
(Dawn Damipe Dayo)

I can't believe this is happening again.

Only that this time, it's a lot worse than the last. A lot more... Detrimental.

And to think that I avoided something like this happening again. To think that I deflected from anything that would lead to this kind of moment... again.

But, It was all for nothing.

Everything I have done, every action I have taken and made up until this point has been to stop bringing this kind of attention to myself. But yet, it just won't stop coming, following me around like a curse because that's what this felt like.

A curse.

What did I not do? What step did I not take for this not to happen again?

I stopped wearing fitted clothes as much as I could, loosened all my slim-fitted school uniform skirts to be baggy. I stopped wearing my blazers and started wearing the school sweaters instead because they were big on me. I tried not to show as much skin as I used to. Tried to take less sexy pictures because apparently, all my pictures showed my curves too much.

God knows I did everything in my power to stop everyone from seeing me as just a girl with a killer body. God knows I wanted them to see me as more.

A lot more.

But now all that was an effort in futility.

They will never stop seeing me as just the girl with a killer body, would they?

Because now I was trending all over social media as the Girl with ASSETS.

The most baffling part of all these was the fact that people, especially my classmates seemed to find it funny... or rather exciting for some reason. Some of them even dared to compliment me for trending on social media as the Girl with assets.

It was appalling. I was extremely annoyed.

But there was nothing I could do about it.

Absolutely nothing.

"Girl with the ASSETS!" Someone, a guy obviously, suddenly screamed, jerking me out of my reverie abruptly.

I cringed in disgust when his echoing scream was followed by wild waves of laughter from the two other guys walking with him, then hoots and hypes aimed at me.

They were fucking hyping me for having physical assets.

And to think I came to the school garden to get away from the craziness of class and all the unwarranted and unsolicited attention I have been getting since I got to school.

Now, these ones literally followed me here to taunt me.

I looked in their direction, immediately recognizing them as guys from commercial class. I didn't know the name of the other two guys but I knew the name of the one that had shot off the comment. Kasali Saheed. Never spoken to him or the other two in my life.

I shot them a glare but of course, they found it funny because they just kept laughing, hooting, and making catcalls that made my skin crawl with disgust.

They thought all this was funny.

"Get out, Kasali." I heard Hilary's voice call out before I felt her presence beside me. The boys kept laughing, but walked away, right out of the garden and back to the school area. I let out a deep, exhausted sigh.

I just want today to be over so I can go home and sleep.

"Are you okay?" Hilary asked, her hand on my shoulder as she gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. I flashed her a faux grin back, watching as she sat on the chair beside mine.

"Just pitchy," I answered, shrugging.

Hilary, of course, saw through my fake smile and act, giving me a small smile that said she understands. Semeeha was also with us, but the darker girl didn't say anything as she sat down on the bench situated at the other side of the table. She only stared at the screen of her phone with a faraway look in her eyes, one I couldn't read.

I couldn't tell if she was looking at the posts going viral on social media or something entirely different. And I was certainly not in the mood to ask, especially if the answer was the former reason.

"Don't think too much about it, Dawn," Hilary spoke again and I turned to look at her. "You have to ignore all these. It will all blow over eventually, I promise." She sounded so sure, a scoff almost escaped my lips.

If only it were that simple.

"Hilary, this is not just Crestview related," I began, trying to explain to her that all these blowing over will take a while. "This is all over social media. Twitter, Instagram, even Tiktok is carrying this.-

Blogs are blogging about the Girl with Assets. It's hard to ignore it when it's all up in my face. My phone keeps buzzing every second with a new notification. I keep getting tagged on some stupid page, showing a brand new collage comparison between Dabi and me-"

And as if to buttress my point, my phone made a buzzing sound that cut me off, indicating that I had gotten yet another notification. I didn't even have to look to know that I was being tagged... again.

I groaned in frustration, pushing my phone away from me so hard, it almost tipped off the table. Hilary was quick to grab it before it did.

"See what I'm talking about?" I nodded towards the phone. "I'm sure I just got tagged again," I said, hissing in disdain. Hilary sighed, not saying anything more. She unlocked my phone, tapped on some buttons to check if I was indeed being tagged.

"They even used a different picture this time." Hilary mused, showing me the screen. I glanced at it with disinterest. It was another picture alright, still with the same ridiculous caption.

(The post)

These people really went to source for my photos. Every collage I have seen had different pictures of me and Dabi, only that mine just kept getting more lewd than the last. I quickly looked away. I didn't want to see it, didn't want to get more disgusted than I already was.

But mere glancing at it, the picture has already been ingrained in my mind.

I can't even begin to imagine the kind of nasty, perverted comments under that Instagram post.

I still can't stop thinking about the ones I saw over the weekend, even when Chima told me not to think about them.

If only he were here, sitting right beside me, telling me to calm down. I could really do with his presence, his soothing voice... a hug at the very least.

But he and other sports captains have been in the office of Big Guy all day. Though he has been firing quick texts, assuring me that he'd see me before the end of today, I haven't set my eyes on him.

I need Chima.

No matter how strong I try to act, how immune I try to be to all these, I cannot handle this without him.

"These people actually very insensitive, I can't even begin to imagine how that Dabi babe is feeling with all these degrading." Hilary began again and I sighed.

Dabi was also at the receiving end of this. I just hope her school isn't as nasty and as crude as Crestview.

"Okay, some men are perverted beasts, because what the hell is this!" She muttered harshly to herself, her mouth opened slightly in utmost shock at whatever she was reading.

Immediately, I knew it had something to do with me. I looked up to see her fingers sweeping through the screen of my phone, and I knew for a fact that she was checking through the comments, and I watched as her face contort in deeper irritation and disgust as she kept reading.

Of course, she didn't read them out loud because she knew how triggering they'd be for me. But then, it didn't stop my imagination from playing tricks on me, and everything I was imagining weren't good things either. Not even remotely.

And it irked me. Irked me to the core.

Everything I have done to prevent this from happening and yet, it was like history repeating itself, but only a million times worse.

"I can't believe this is happening again," I spoke, my voice coming out croaked with emotions. I was speaking more to myself, but then I felt Hilary's eyes turning back on me, followed by her soft sigh that indicated she heard me.

"Dawn," She whispered, empathy and condolement evident in her voice. I turned to her, right on the verge of losing my mind.

"Hilary, ever since what happened last session," I took in a labored breath just by talking about it. "It's been hard, trying to get Crestview students to see me for something more than my body," I told her, making sure my voice conveys every bit of emotion I was feeling, nameless or not.

"I have tried everything within my power to make sure they see me as something - someone more, to make them know that I was much more than just a girl with a killer body. And n-now..." I trailed off when my voice quivered, catching how crestfallen Hilary looked as she tried to feel my pain.

But no one can feel this more than I do.

"Now, I have to convince the entire media that I'm not just a girl with physical assets, but also with mental, psychological, emotional, and intellectual capabilities. Capabilities that are so glaring but people fail to see because of my body!" I spat out.

"Dawn, you don't owe anyone anything or any explanation of who you really are," Hilary stated calmly, placing her hand on my shoulder again as she tried to calm me down. "You have nothing to prove to a group of naysayers that have nothing better to do than to compare two teenagers.-

We are your friends, Dawn," She continued, gesturing between an unusually silent Semeeha and herself. "We know you better than anyone. We know who you really are and that's all that should matter. Not some half-assed posts by jobless people on the internet."

"It's easier said than done," I told her and she sighed, keeping quiet. "And I have a lot to prove to them, to everyone. I have so much to prove. I need to prove that I didn't get popular because of my body, but because I have talent because I have something more to offer. I've always had something more to offer why can't they just see that?" I cried desperately.

"Dawn-" Hilary began, obviously trying to pacify me again. But she was cut off abruptly.

"I honestly don't understand why you are making such a big fuss about this situation."

Semeeha finally spoke for the first time since she got there. But then, it wasn't even the fact that she spoke that had me taken aback, but the statement she made. Hilary and I turned to her, watching the darker girl in a moment of silence as she twirled her phone between her finger, that same faraway look in her eyes as she stared ahead.

"What?" I couldn't help but mutter in confusion, needing her to explain exactly what she meant. But God knows, I was already dreading it.

Semeeha stopped staring ahead and turned to me, a rather indifferent expression marred across her face.

"You are making such a big fuss about the situation and you are not even at the receiving end of it," She stated shrewdly, shrugging with nonchalance. My brows furrowed in a slight frown, still confused as to what she was driving at.

Is she saying I have no right to be angry? I had to ask myself.

"Wait, are you saying I have no right to be upset?" I voiced out my thoughts, and she shrugged again. My mouth opened in mortification. "These people are dissecting me like a piece of meat on a slaughter slab and you are saying I have no right to be upset!" I asked incredulously.

"Guys-" Hilary called to both of us, trying to pacify either of us to calm down.

"At least they are not calling you names like that skinny emo chick," Semeeha cut Hilary off, and I couldn't help but cringe at the way she had referred to Dabi. "You should even be thankful that everyone is complimenting you and acknowledging the kind of assets you carry."

What the hell? I stared at her in disbelief.

"Semeeha!" Hilary exclaimed in utmost shock, her eye widened like saucers. "That's a very vile and insensitive thing to say." She chided, but all Semeeha did was look back at her phone like it was the most interesting thing in the universe, with that same indifferent expression on her face.

I swallowed the big, invisible lump in my throat, tried to stop my heart from beating widely against my rib cage, my chest getting heavy with sobs, and my eyes welling up with tears.

"You are saying I should be thankful that they are sexualizing me?" I couldn't hide the shock in my voice, "You are telling me that I should be thankful that some perverted men are entering my DM every second with inappropriate messages?" I couldn't mask the hurt I was feeling from the implication of her words.

And the most painful part was that she didn't even realize it. Or maybe she realized it and don't care. Knowing Semeeha, it was definitely the latter, because all she did was scoff out a humorless laugh aimed at me.

"You are the one that has decided to see it that way," The darker girl chirped, the frankness in her tone irking me. "Something that you should see as an opportunity to even publicize yourself with. I mean, no publicity is bad publicity, right?" She chuckled to herself like she had said the funniest thing ever, while I and Hilary stared at her, completely awestruck at her lethargy.

Wow...

"And truth be told," She continued, rolling her eyes astutely. "You honestly give yourself way too much credit, Dawn. You feel yourself too much, abeg," She waved her hands at me dismissively.

My face contorted into the deepest frown ever, so scrunched up that every part of my face began to hurt. But I couldn't stop frowning at the interpretation her words formed in my mind.

What the hell was she trying to say?

"And what do you mean by that?" I forced myself to ask her, even though I knew the answer.

But I wanted her to say it. I wanted to know if Semeeha was really comfortable spitting out dreadful, soul-crushing words to the one she calls a best friend.

"Dawn, let's leave this place please" Hilary pleaded, knowing just as much as I did that the outcome of all this will bring me nothing but sadness. But this has to be done.

I need to know if Semeeha was so comfortable with hurting her friend.

"No, Hilary," I stopped, shaking my head as I kept my eyes trained on Semeeha, who in turn also had her eyes trained on me. I can't swear, I saw a ghost of a smile...or rather, a smirk playing on her lips. "I want to hear what the fuck Semeeha meant by her statement."

"Do I have to spell it out before you figure it out?" She rolled her eyes again, another scoff-like laugh escaping her lips.

I swallowed again, my chest rising and falling as I started breathing heavily.

"Do you really think you went viral at first because you are a good dancer?" She asked me, her tone making her sound like she was mocking me. "No baby girl," she answered her own question. "It was your body, all of that," she gestured to my body and I hugged myself, feeling cold, unpleasant chills running through my spine. "That got you viral in the first place, nothing more nothing less."

Wow! Beads of tears started dripping down my eyes.

"Semeeha shut up!" Hilary spat out

But, of course, she didn't shut up.

"I mean, I'm only saying the truth," She shrugged, nonchalantly, "I can say for a fact that I know better dancers than you, Dawn, and none of them have as much popularity as you do."

"WOW!" I couldn't stop myself from exclaiming, couldn't stop the humorless laugh that escaped my lips as tears kept cascading down my eyes in torrents.

Tears that did nothing to keep Semeeha from shooting fire and brimstone at me all in the name of telling me the truth.

"Semeeha shut up, right now!" Hilary warned again, venom dripping from her voice.

But again, she didn't.

It's like she knew exactly what she was doing.

"These people will kill to be in your position right now, and you are here, sulking over something you should be thankful for." Semeeha kissed her teeth. "Let me give you a piece of advice. The industry isn't playing anymore. You have to learn to use what you have to your advantage, and right now, your major advantage is that body of yours."

It didn't take a second after she landed before Hilary went full ballistic on her, screaming at her. This was the angriest I've ever seen Hilary. I couldn't even hear everything they were saying to each other, the words they were exchanging because I shut them out.

I shut everything out as I plopped back down to my seat, buried my face in my hands, and cried.

There was nothing else I could do but cry. Not after everything Semeeha had said to me, unapologetically shooting words at me, words that she knew would very well trigger me. Yet, she did it without any remorse.

She even had the audacity to tell me I wasn't that good of a dancer, attributing all my hard work, all my successes, every accolade I have received as a dancer to it just being about my body.

The same girl that once told me that I was a Dance Prodigy, told me that she was proud to be friends with someone as talented as I am.

Now, she's basically invalidating all of my feelings, objectifying me with the rest of the world, and telling me that I should grateful for it because it's seemingly the only good thing about me.

I was supposed to be shocked, but honestly, I wasn't. I should have known better than to believe when she claimed she was changing. Or maybe I did know better, but I was trying to give her a benefit of the doubt. The saying was true, a leopard can never wash away the spots on its skin.

I have never felt this downgraded and humiliated since SS2.

Semeeha Malik was no better than Tekena Tamuno.

I turned everything back on, catching their back and forth halfway.

"... and there is nothing wrong in what I said if it's the truth!" Semeeha was snapping back at Hilary who still looked livid.

"She's crying, Semeeha!" She snapped back. "Don't you have any idea how hurtful your words were!?"

"Well, truth is bitter." The darker girl adamantly maintained, and that simple, unrepentant response almost made Hilary blow a fuse. I quickly held her hand, stopping her from indulging Semeeha any further.

She wasn't worth it.

She has never been worth it.

"It's fine," I told Hilary, giving her a small smile through my tears. The anger on her face dissolved, replaced with a look of pity aimed at me.

"Dawn," She whispered, but I shook my head