My Secret Keeper

So, I'd written this for English (based off of the promt 'My Secret Keeper) and now my English teacher makes fun of me because of how long I made it. Everybody had turned in 2-3 page stories, and here I come with a 13 page story! Oops.

I'd based this in India, but considering I've never been to India and I don't know anyone from India, I'm not sure if there are any mistakes in the culture. Please don't be offended if there are. If you are from India or have knowlege about their culture and you see a mistake, calmly tell me. I'd love to learn something new and fix it in my story. Thank you.