To Doll it was almost funny to look back on him now, Molotov was so far a distant memory that its almost like he hadn't existed. But he did, he was her father, the cyan eyed drone who picked her pill baby body up every morning and greeted her with sparkles in his eyes. He had raised her, cared for her and her mother with every fibre of his body. Worked himself to the bone to try and get them this new inside home and before she knew it they had moved in before everyone else had. He started the retrofitting of the crossbow, left it as a gift for her twentieth birthday that she had been ecstatic to receive. She remembered him exclaiming that they were going to go to the moon, the big one with that huge scar on it so they could skip rocks in low gravity. He had been the internal push for her action, hell he had even armed her for it with the crossbow and that stolen drone power core which had yet no explanation for how it had ended up here. At the same time she couldn't remember him perfectly, he wasn't mute but she couldn't remember how he sounded. Molotov had held her yet she couldn't recall how it had felt those early days of life with the budding full family instead of the shattered tired remaining ones.
To Yeva it was painfully constant to be reminded of him, or anything from the past she had tried so hard to keep intact yet broke more with every attempt. He had to be here, he was right here. She had married him in the midnight under two moons and thousands of stars, their wish being solidified in their hearts when the streak of fire that was another failing satellite graced the night as it plunged into the weakened atmosphere. She raised two kids and laughed more then her entire life beforehand with this drone, his silly antics and prised possessions made her fill with this long gone bubbly feeling whenever he mentioned them. They had bought their first house together, he had helped her adjust to this life and she had helped him with just as much. Every night they had slept in the same bed, Yeva could still remember the feeling of the whole family holed up on the couch and watching a move. Sometimes she swore she felt it again. His dream to go to the moon, she had taken him as high as she could but she knew deep down she had to have done better. Above the clouds was a pathetic shot from the goal and in his memory that was probably all she was, a miserable pile of secrets that was so far gone from any goal that to the community they had once held dear they had almost shrivelled up into obscurity.
"I.. am.". Yeva sobbed out as they continued the hug, holding each other like they haven't done since Molotov passed.
"I am proud, i do care... just, was to far with- in myself to show it.". Yeva admitted, feeling some internal weight depart from her chest as Doll spoke up. Her daughters weak voice bringing Yeva's attention back to the present as she continued to speak. Their words pouring out of her as she learnt over and rested on her mother's shoulder, a few digital tears making their way down her visor before disappearing into nothingness.
"I just wanted to, to avenge dad a- and maybe we cou- ld go outside again. Find Pin's b- body.. and see the sun again... It's so cramped in here, there's nothing to do but pass the time an, and wither away.". Yeva tensed at the mention of the other child, another reminder of everything she had failed to keep safe. Had she, really forgotten the first child or was this just the sensation another scar being peeled off? She couldn't decide before a second bombshell revelation hit her.
"And worse is I, Mom the crossbow was des, destroyed, it's gone. I ruined one of the last things we had of dad's just t, to.. bea-.". Doll stopped speaking, her body beginning to shake with sobs as her hair flowed down between them and onto the duck patterned blanket. Yeva shifting herself to hold the girl while resting one hand on her head just behind the red and black headband that kept her wig on, she had got that from a market sale the last time she had went out with Doll as a family.
The crossbow was gone? Molotov could just make another she just had to get up and ask him, right? Yeva mentally slapped herself away from that delusion as she cast a look back to their lonely dust covered master bedroom. Lock hiding secrets that shouldn't even be there, she was so glad Doll didn't seem to have a sense of curiosity towards it or else she feared it would of already been broken into ages back. Or, maybe her daughter just knew that some things were better left alone. Yeva certainly imparted that moral onto her with how distant she had been, but she couldn't help that she barely functioned at all with how destroyed her past had left her. Sleep away the dying light and let the lighthouse maiden leave the tower empty, Yeva blinked once as she thought back to that scene she had watched before she managed to fall asleep a week ago. Sometimes a lack of care was worse then outright damaging something she realised.
"I messEd up so bad, and almost ended up leaving you just like i did N, ruining everything i- in a stupid gamb-le to make it better. I TrIED to fix it all but no, I'm to scared to weak to untrustworthy to do it right and now we are back at square one. Lives under threat every second because of some absurd fucking fate. To leave u- us all to rot away down here!". Doll raised her voice before cutting out with a stressed whine and throwing her head back to look at the roof, resting it on the top of the couch. Yeva could see she looked spent, if the mother could of seen her own reflection then she would of noticed that they'd almost look one in the same. Both tired, empty, bored and damaged. Vessels to the malice the universe apparently had upon them and holding onto threads to try and keep the tapestry, if the family had a last name that to probably would of been dragged through the dirt as much as its owners.
She was stunned to learn her child had been baring this much on her without any help and for two whole weeks that she could of helped her If she had tried, or really if she had been mentally there enough to try. Yeva frowned at herself, that ever present excuse of being tired looking back at her. She could push through, this was more important then failing to fix herself yet again.
"Doll, your... putting to much on yourself.". Yeva started hesitantly, again unsure of if she was trying to give herself or her daughter this parcel of advice. It was probably best if the both of them had it spoken.
"As in, from what i know you manage to do a lot by yourself. But, for once i doubt it was just you, as amazing as you are, that managed to stop those two monsters in the warehouse all by yourself. You had N.". Doll didnt look at her mother as she kept speaking, instead choosing to forcefully exhale towards the ceiling. The only other sign of any confusion being the small audible blip of a trio of question marks appearing on Doll's visor, said marks having a vaguely different but automatically recognisable tone for each expression.
"Bu, but people died. My actions lead to deaths.". Doll reasoned, voice flat and almost jaded.
"Yes, there were.. causalities, but in the end there were also victories. You, managed to do something no one else in this colony has ever done.". Yeva stated earnestly, wishing she could of said something more reassuring but steeling herself to speaking the truth once more. Telling Doll that would of been trying to distort reality into something it wasn't and to her knowledge that usually ended up with negative consequences in the long run, she would know.
"Have multiple doors almost broken?". Doll asked in a melancholic fashion. Forgetting that the doors had only been temporarily damaged and even fully functioning again the next frightful night.
".. Well, Yes but i meant killing a murder drone. I saw it doll, you didn't just kill any random one. That, that was her... You did it.". Yeva held her daughter tighter and reached over for the scrapbook.
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