jgclark
3 0 1
The warmth and calmness that surrounded me as I laid adrift that day is a memory and a sensation that I will never forget. It was a day when my life completely altered, it pivoted perfectly, in 180 degrees. Unconscious, yet aware, I found myself floating upon the river, fully knowing that I was, but at the same time, distant. As if I saw myself there from afar, from some distant region of space. I was me, but outside of myself at the same moment, feeling the water cradle me, carry me, and I gazed upon my body while it drifted away. While the awareness of my stilled body felt current emotion, simultaneously the self who gazed, admired with unknown emotion, with hesitation, and wonder. It was as if I was unfamiliar with myself, uncertain of exactly who laid there. Though as I gazed, I remember specifically thinking how sad I felt for myself. I saw myself, truly in that instance, within that state, and wondered why the motionless self felt fear. I was a fearful person, always have been, but when I saw myself, I felt the instance of who I was. I was foreign, because I did not feel the fear at that instant. It was nonexistent. I caught a glimpse of who I truly was that day, as I stood outside of myself, and before I opened my eyes, I knew who I needed to become. I needed to be fearless.โฆ
