His eyes sought Ginny's, and when they locked gazes, he had the horrible feeling she'd been thinking the same thing. Harry's heart hadn't felt so broken since Albus's attack.
"I don't want to be the sort of father that Dumbledore was to me," he told Ginny. "I don't want to use our daughter for the greater good. She isn't a tool. She's our Lily. She's clever, funny, bright—larger-than-life. Ginny. I don't know what to do. Please—what do I do?"
He would've liked to have thought that Dumbledore had agonized over the decisions he'd made in the same way that Harry was currently agonizing over his, but if that had been true, Harry didn't think he would've had time to do much else. Because his pain was all-consuming.
"We can't run," she said, her voice hardly louder than a whisper.
Harry hated himself more and more as he shook his head in response. But he always knew they never would have. Ginny was right—it wasn't in her nature and it wasn't in his, either. And it—unfortunately—wasn't in their children's.
"We can't attack blindly," she continued. Harry shook his head again. She resumed pacing.
"Okay. What if—" she stopped again. She faced Harry. "James and Nora spent all day preparing for their Halloween party."
"...Okay?"
"McGonagall permitted the use of the Great Hall, but for the sake of safety, she decided that professors would have to take wands upon entering the party. They're going to write down whose wand it is, what type, and keep hold of it until it's time to leave the party. It'll happen to everybody. So it won't be suspicious. But it would keep her safe."
Harry blinked. "Have Lily try to infiltrate during this party. When they—and everybody else—are wandless."
"Right. But we let Lily keep her wand. And Caden. George or Ron can make them fake wands to hand over. And we'll be nearby, listening in, wands ready."
He couldn't deny that this idea made him feel much safer. "They could only physically attack, and they wouldn't get very far that way because we'd be a door away."
"Exactly. And, despite what you may think about the Caden boy, I doubt he'd let anybody hurt her."
Harry sighed. "If we ask her opinion, she'll say yes. She probably dreams about situations like these at night."
"Without a doubt," Ginny agreed. She gave a somewhat shaky laugh. "But, you know, if it works...maybe she'll finally feel like she's adequately proven herself."
"Wouldn't that be nice..."
Ginny fell down onto the sofa. Harry walked over and joined her. He didn't even complain when Nico crawled into his lap. He scratched behind the cat's ears. He looked at Ginny.
"Remember when our main parenting concern was properly teaching the kids about sex?"
Ginny laughed. "Ah, yes. The good old days."
"The scary thing is...I think situations like these come more naturally to us."
"Well, they say war leaves a scar on everybody."
"Profound," he teased half-heartedly. "In our cases, physical and emotional ones."
She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Let's try and keep the scars off our kids as much as possible."
They spent much of that remaining week debating when and how to present the idea to Lily.
The student body had worked itself into a panicked state again over Grey's death, one that was surely going to carry them through tomorrow and into Halloween. The Sevens were working harder than ever to perfect their Halloween party plans; as Ben had put it in yesterday's DADA class, a bit of fun was probably crucial now to keep people from lashing out.
The line outside Draco's office during lunch breaks was backed up into the Restricted Section as anxious students who could sense war on the horizon began to come to him for reassurance. Hogwarts Help kept Lily, Ginny, and the volunteers busy with panicked letter after panicked letter; Harry had his fair share of ones addressed specifically to him, but after writing a response to the tenth letter pleading with him to 'make things right again', he had to take some time away from them.
On the morning of Halloween, Harry rolled over, curled against Ginny, and said: "We have to tell her before breakfast. It's going to take all day to plan it."
"Ugh," Ginny said. And then, for a few minutes, nothing else. Until: "Shall I talk to Caden?"
"No. I want to."
"Harry. We need him to still like our daughter so he can be on her side tonight."
"I know. I just want to make sure I tell him all that I need to."
"The poor kid. Honestly, all of these kids who get involved with our kids probably have no idea what they're getting themselves into."
"Our kids are lucky they're so damn adorable."
"They might not have survived childhood if they weren't so adorable," she joked.
Harry laughed. He knew there was a lot to do, but for a few minutes, he was content to rest there and think about the years that had passed.
They entered the Great Hall warily.
"Okay," Ginny said. She took a deep breath. "We eat quickly, I go with Lily, you go with Caden. We talk with them and meet back up in your office."
"Right," he nodded.
They walked over and sat at the mixed-House table. Ginny kissed Albus and Scorpius on the foreheads. Lily leaned over the person separating them—Aster—and hugged Harry.
"Morning, Lulu," he smiled.
"Morning! You have more letters, you know," she told him sternly.
He grimaced. "I know. I'll get to them. Soon."
"Mmhmm..." she said skeptically. She looked at Aster. "When my dad says soon, he means never."
"Mine too," Aster nodded.
Harry looked down from Albus towards James to greet him, but the words died on his lips.
"Er..." he trailed off. His skin prickled with uneasiness. He observed his eldest in utter disbelief, because he was sitting apart from Nora. There was at least an inch between their bodies, and that in itself was such an alien sight that it took Harry's mind a moment to wrap around the vastness of that void. James was red-eyed and staring down at his full plate—it didn't look like he'd touched any of it. Nora hadn't even bothered to put any food on hers at all; she was sitting listlessly at James's side, her hand resting over her stomach like she might be sick at any moment, her hair down from its typical bun and surrounding her elegant features in a hectic array. It took Harry longer than it should have to realize the two were clearly fighting.
He wasn't the only one who'd noticed. He felt Ginny's foot kick lightly at his calf from beneath the table. He tore his gaze from James and Nora and looked to Ginny. Her face had paled. 'James?' she mouthed, concerned. Harry shrugged, his lips pressed into a tight line. Ginny's frown deepened.
Lily didn't miss their exchange.
"They're arguing," she whispered to Harry. "Well...actually, they're 'saddening', but that's not really a thing, so they're....sad arguing."
"About what?" Harry demanded. He was much more horrified over this than he would have expected himself to be. He felt like he'd had the floor pulled up from underneath him. James and Nora didn't argue-- not severely enough to reduce them to this, anyway. James and Nora didn't fight. James and Nora were James and Nora; they'd been effortless partners since the day they'd met, so in love with everything about each other that they accepted each other without stipulation or hesitation, no matter what life threw at them. So what on earth had moved them to this?
Lily shrugged. "I dunno for sure. I walked in on them in the Common Room this morning. Nora was crying, so obviously Jamie was crying, too, he's so soft-hearted," Lily rolled her eyes as if that were a bad thing. "I know they were talking about him going to the Ministry today, so I guess she's worried about him. You know, since Aurors keep getting murdered and these renewed Death Eaters want to scour the world of the Potter Plagues."
"Don't talk like that," Harry said immediately. He glanced back at Nora and James. "You're not a plague and neither are your siblings."
"Well I know that, Dad. I'm a blessing."
Harry studied James carefully. He looked deeply unsettled, guilty, worried. Harry momentarily forgot about everything else.
"James?" he asked. Nothing. He raised his voice. "James."
James slowly looked up at him. He brought his hands to the tabletop as he did. Harry grimaced at the raw, torn skin around his nails.
"Oh, hey, Dad," James greeted.
Harry looked pointedly between him and Nora. Nora was studiously avoiding his eyes, not a smile to be found.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked.
James's fingers went back to picking at the skin around his nails. Emotional deception was not natural to him; it was obvious it was taking every bit of his strength to reply with: "Nothing."
Harry looked back at Nora. She had her face turned away from James, but she appeared moments away from tears. Ginny reached over and caught James's nervous hands.
"Stop that," she said gently. "That won't help you feel better."
He furrowed his brow. "Stop what?"
"What happened with you two?" Ginny demanded. James bowed forward over his full, untouched plate. Ginny leaned back and peered around him. "Nora?"
Nora made no indication that she'd heard Ginny speaking.
"Nora?" Ginny asked again, her voice a bit sterner, and all at once Nora collapsed into unexpected tears. James cringed at the sound like he'd been kicked. Ginny slid from the bench and wedged herself between James and Nora, her arm wrapping tightly around Nora.
"Nora, honestly," she said, exasperated. "What on earth are you two fighting about?"
"N-Nothing!" Nora wept.
"Really? Because, er, it sounds like something."
James physically sat on his own hands, clearly to keep himself from reaching for Nora, and even then he was shifting uncomfortably every few seconds, his tear-filled eyes darting to Nora over and over again. Harry could almost see the pain swelling up inside of James; he seemed to be finding it difficult to sit still and breathe around it. After another moment of suffering, he too collapsed into tears.
"Bloody—" Ginny caught herself and sighed. James collapsed against Ginny's other side. She met Harry's eyes from across the table, one-half of the bickering couple sobbing on either arm. "Any ideas, Harry?"
"Make them hug it out?" he suggested weakly.
He'd been fully joking—and it wasn't even a good joke at that. But Ginny considered it for a moment, glanced down at both seventh years, and then slowly slid backwards off the bench, extracting herself from the two. After a brief hesitation, she reached forward and set a hand on their backs, gently patting them forward towards each other. It was all the prodding they needed. James pulled Nora into a tight bear hug at the same moment she slid over and collapsed against his chest.
"I'm sorry—"
"I won't go, I'm sorry, too—"
"No, I'm sorry for making it about me—"
"It is about you, Nora, it always is and now more than ever—"
"I'm being dramatic; I don't know why I'm so upset—"
"You have every reason to be upset—"
"I'm so afraid that you're going to die—"
"I'm not going to die—"
"What if you died?"
The question gave way to a heavy silence that was followed with more crying. Harry got the feeling he was missing something. To his right, Lily was watching the two with a bored look.
"She really takes the theatrics with her, doesn't she? It's like Shakespeare all the time," Lily whispered. Having been to one of Nora's summer muggle Shakespeare performances a few years back, she'd never quite gotten over how much she'd disliked the play. She'd come home to inform everybody that Shakespeare was a 'stuffy tosser'.
Harry disagreed with Lily's assessment of Nora. While she was artistic and open-hearted, he had never seen Nora fall apart like this over anything trivial. James was less of a concern—it was expected that the sight of Nora crying would do this to him. Her unhappiness was, according to the Boggart in Harry's office, one of his very worst fears. But it was obvious something more had happened to them, something that neither Harry nor Lily were privy to, and he didn't want to judge them too quickly.
"Don't tease them," he told Lily. He had lost his appetite. He locked eyes with Ginny. "Will you..." he darted his eyes to James. Ginny nodded at once. She darted hers to Lily. Harry nodded. He looked back down at Lily. "Lily, are you done with breakfast? Let's take a walk. I want to talk to you about something."
Lily sighed. "More sex talks? I get it, Dad. Really. I get how it happens, I get that you don't want me to do it ever, I get that it causes babies and various other ailments, I get how to stop those things from happening. I get that penises have no bones—which is really cool. You have done your job as a parent. Nice job! You get an O!"
"No, Lily...not about that."
"What about, then?" she asked. Her gaze was calculating. Harry hesitated.
"I'll...tell you as we walk."
"Did somebody else die?"
He sighed. "No, Lily, just finish your breakfast so we can go."
She lifted her toast. She pursed her brow in thought as she chewed. She looked at Harry.
"Did Albus tell you something about me?" she asked.
"No...what would he have told me?" Harry demanded.
"...Nothing. Just checking. That boy, ha, he likes to make up lies..." she looked away as she quickly ate the rest of her piece of toast. Harry decided to completely leave that one alone. He had enough to deal with already.
He hooked his arm with Lily's as they walked from the Great Hall, and as they stepped out onto the grounds, Harry did what he hoped was the right thing.
"I think we need your help, Lulu."
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