"What was Mel doing?" Lily demanded. He, Albus, and James were walking her back to Gryffindor Tower, Harry and Ginny accompanying them.

"Watching you! Everybody was," Albus answered. "The only reason I managed to make the goal was because I'm used to it. Wasn't shocking to me; you throw yourself off your broom all the time at home. I knew Nora would catch you."

Lily reached out and smacked James's stomach with her newly-mended arm. "See, James?! Even Albus knew Nora would catch me!"

"I'm not arguing about this again! If you do it again, I'll kick you from the team, and that's that," James said stubbornly. "But...it was a great catch."

"It was, wasn't it?" Harry agreed enthusiastically. "I really didn't think she'd caught it at first, but then when she lifted it up after Nora caught her—brilliant!"

"A brilliant and unrelenting Seeker through-and-through," Ginny smiled. "That one is all you, Harry."

"Gin, do you even remember your 2000 match against Puddlemere? Because I don't think that Puddlemere Chaser ever forgot. In fact, I think he's still got a limp..."

"He does not!" Ginny argued immediately. "And I'm not saying I didn't pass any gritty Quidditch skills down to our kids. I'm saying I passed themthis way," she reached out and wrapped her arms around Albus, dragging him half-protesting and half-smiling into her embrace. "I was never much of a Seeker, but did you see our son?! Did you see that final shot?!"

Harry smiled at Albus. "It was wonderful, Al!"

"Thanks," he said quickly, obviously eager to get off the topic. Ginny was still hugging him tightly, her pride thick in the air. "Mum, come on, it wasn't that great."

"It was that great! Are you thinking of playing professionally?"

"I'm really just thinking about eating dinner and going to bed."

"That's fair," Harry nodded.

They resumed their walk in unusual silence. It didn't last long.

"Do penises have bones?" Lily asked.

Scorpius stumbled. James burst into hysterical laughter.

"Lily!" Albus blurted, horrified.

Lily was thinking hard. "I don't think they do."

James had to stop walking. He doubled over at the waist as he howled with laughter. Ginny and Harry looked at each other.

"I'm not answering that," they said in unison.

"Damn," Harry whispered.

"Bollocks," Ginny said. "One of us has to."

"Do we? Do we have to?" Harry wondered.

"I...I think so..." Ginny said, but she sounded less sure.

"Like, can you break them like a bone? You've got joints in your fingers and arms, right? They don't have joints," Lily said.

"No. They don't have joints," Ginny said. "No bones. Who do I need to thank for bringing this topic up?

"Scorpius," Albus and Lily said in unison.

Scorpius opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.

"Traitor!" is all he managed to blurt. It was directed at Albus.

"I sincerely thank you, Scorpius," Ginny said dryly.

"Sorry, it just...slipped out with my list of body parts...I was flustered..." he admitted. And maybe thinking about my and Albus's original plans for after the match which might have...included...that...body part...

He was worried she was genuinely angry, but then he caught her struggling to fight back her own laughter.

"But you can break it," Lily persisted, refusing to let the subject have a quiet, respectful death. "And how can you do that if there's no bone? No offense, Mum, but you haven't even got one, so you can't really know for sure."

"I promise that I can know for sure despite that fact," she said flatly. "I know what I'm talking about."

"Ew," Albus complained. "Mum!!"

"What?! The existence of you three is evidence in itself!"

"Ugh, gross— now I have to hate my entire existence, thanks a lot, Mum."

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Lily, who told you that you can...break it?" Harry asked sharply. "Who's been talking about this? You're too young to talk about...this."

"Well, Aster got angry with Quinton and said—"

"You know, I changed my mind, I actually don't need to know," Harry said quickly, a grimace in place.

James fell against the wall. He pressed a hand over his stomach. It probably was sore from how hard he was laughing.

"You—go on without me," he gasped out through his laughter. "I've got to—find Nora—tell her she missed—the best Potter family discussion of all time."

He staggered off, still in stitches.

"IT'S NOT NICE TO LAUGH AT PEOPLE," Lily yelled after him. "I HOPE YOU BREAK YOURS, IDIOT! GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TWELVE BABIES AFTER THAT!"

That only made him laugh harder.

To Scorpius's deep horror, Lily directed her next question to him, as if he were the ultimate expert.

"Can that not happen?" she wondered.

"Er..." Scorpius squeaked. "Erm..."

(Meanwhile, the Potter parents had fallen a few paces behind, and were arguing:

"I thought you gave her the talk, Gin!"

"I did give her the talk! The third year talk about puberty! But, for obvious reasons, we focused on the female body!"

"Right...okay. So here's what we'll do: the bravest one of us will give her a slightly more detailed talk but not the full blown 'Talk'."

"Good idea," Ginny said. "Good luck!"

"What?! No! I meant you!" Harry hissed.

"Me?! You said the bravest! You literally killed a murderous dictator!"

"So?! You always got back on your broom only a day after childbirth, and if that's not bravery, I don't know what is!"

A pause. A pained intake of breath, as if even the memory still hurt.

"...Merlin, you're absolutely right," Ginny muttered.

"Yeah, blimey, I know," Harry agreed. It sounded like he was wincing too, and his voice sounded a bit distant as if he too were remembering a specific memory.)

"Lily," Ginny called, interrupting Scorpius's ongoing stuttering. She walked up and stepped between Lily and Scorpius. "Let's go have tea and a chat."

"Okay," Lily agreed easily. "Let me just tell my friends that I'll be back for the party later."

"Party? You lost," Albus reminded her.

"We party anyway. Wouldn't want James's contraband to go to waste."

"You are aware that I'm your Head of House, right?" Harry reminded her with a sigh.

"...Educational contraband," Lily amended, her tone drenched in false innocence. "Muggle pens and...calculating alligators."

"Lily, Dudley's son was teasing you; they're not actually called—"

Harry's sentence died prematurely. Scorpius curiously looked at him and then traced the path of his glance. Caden Rowle waved from beside the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Is your arm better?" Caden called.

"No," Lily said. "I had to have it amputated."

Caden scowled. Lily scowled back. They made a rude hand gesture at each other at the same exact moment, and then, as if nothing had happened, Caden held up the box in his hands.

"Chocolates?" he offered.

Lily increased her speed and outpaced her family and Scorpius, so she reached Caden before them. He opened the top of the box. It was quiet for a moment, and then:

"Where did you get chocolates with lilies on them?" Lily demanded.

"House elf insisted. She used frosting to make them all," he answered shortly.

Lily still hadn't taken the box. She was eying Caden cautiously, as if he might start serenading her at any moment. "Gross, Caden. What's next, a poem?"

He shoved the box into her arms. "The rose is red, violets are blue, you're named after a flower, I hope you haven't got the flu. Take the damn chocolates."

"That was rubbish," Lily said, but she accepted the box and popped a chocolate into her mouth anyway. She held the box out towards him a moment later. He wordlessly took a piece of chocolate. "Lilies. Of all the soppy rubbish...it'll be a miracle if I can hold these down."

"Hilarious," he said. "I would've made a card that said 'I'm sorry you're a loser', but I couldn't find my craft inks."

"Rude! Maybe you left them wherever you left your Quidditch skills this match? Up in the clouds or...who knows, really."

"Nasty," Caden appreciated. "Nice to see you've still got your cheek even if you've lost your mind."

Lily popped another chocolate into her mouth. "Want to go sneak into the Ravenclaw Tower and see how long it takes anybody to notice?"

"Okay," he agreed. "But bring those chocolates."

"No, Lily," Harry said tiredly, before she could even take a step. "No Ravenclaw Tower."

She frowned. "Hufflepuff Basement?"

"No."

"Slytherin Dungeon?"

"No."

"Well where can I go?" she demanded.

"Places you're allowed to be!" Harry said.

"These limitations are insane. Fine. Want to go sit under the beech tree, Caden?"

"Yeah, all right," he shrugged.

Harry didn't look very comfortable with Lily leaving. As she and Caden were walking away, she whispered something to Rowle that made his cheeks pink at once.

"What?!" Caden yelped.

"Oh, Merlin," Harry groaned, horrified. "What did she just ask him?! I'm going to chaperone."

"No, Harry—"

Harry interrupted Ginny. The words sped from his lips as he hurried away.

"Too late. Can't hear you. Already over there."

"No...you're not! You're literally only a few steps away! Get back here, Harry—!"

Albus and Scorpius were left standing alone as Harry followed after Lily and Caden and Ginny followed after Harry. Scorpius looked down at Albus. Albus looked up at him.

"What a mess, honestly," Albus said. "Want to go steal food from the kitchens and hide in the Room of Requirement for the rest of the day? All the Sevens will probably be at James's party, and even if they're not, we can just ask the room for a separate bedroom that locks."

Scorpius set off down the corridor immediately.

"I'm guessing that's a yes," Albus snorted.

"This is an empathic yes," Scorpius clarified.

"Well wait for me, you can't do much without me anyway—oi, I'm still a bit crippled, you know—"

"Sorry! Right!" Scorpius felt his cheeks heat up. "Just excited."

He doubled back, wrapped his arm around Albus's waist, and then jumped as Albus had the audacity to
"accidentally" grab a bit lower than necessary as he looped his arm around Scorpius's lower back.

"Naughty!" Scorpius admonished.

"I'm just getting started."

It would be Flirty Albus for the next few hours, then. Scorpius felt happier about that than he did their Quidditch win.

They were reading together on a massive bed, provided thoughtfully by the Room of Requirement. Or rather—Scorpius was reading Neurosurgery: The Essential Handbook aloud while Albus dozed across his chest. Scorpius sank easily into the sharp, technical words of his book as he relished in the warmth of Albus's skin, the beating of his peculiar heart, the tickle of his hair against Scorpius's chest. Something about the contrast between his clinical book and the intimacy of Albus draped over his heart made Scorpius feel oddly content. He could've stayed there all day long, and he planned on it. But unfortunately for the both of them, the Sevens returned to their headquarters unexpectedly.

"They're back," Scorpius complained.

"So?" Albus mumbled. "Our door's locked."

"They're going to wonder where this random door came from and who's inside of it."

"Let them worry," Albus dismissed.

Scorpius watched him drift back off. He lifted his book back up after a moment of hesitation. The adrenal cortex—

"What were you thinking, James?" demanded Ginny. The words were distant enough that Scorpius could tell they'd probably only just stepped into the Room of Requirement. A cacophony of giggling and chatting followed afterwards, suggesting to Scorpius that all the Sevens were back.

"I was thinking," James began, his words slurred. "That losing doesn't mean you can't party!"

"Yeah!!" Roxanne agreed.

"And we had too much firewhisky—"

"So much..." groaned Louis.

"It would be a wasteful thing, Mummy, to not drink it..." James continued.

"Some people will never even taste firewhisky ever, Ginny," Ben added.

"We're not talking about the fact that you're drunk," Harry snapped. "Although we will be talking about that. We're talking about the fact that youlet Lily have firewhisky!"

"I didn't let Lulu do anything," James argued.

"How hard is to keep alcohol out of the hands of a thirteen year old?" Ginny demanded. "It's not difficult, all you've got to do is not bring alcohol into common areas, but no, Harry hears from some Ravenclaws that the Gryffindors are being rowdy, we go all the way to the Tower, the Fat Lady is sloshed because you bribed her with mead—"

"I didn't bribe her...I just gave her mead so she would let my friends from other Houses in."

"That's bribery, James," Harry said.

"Nuh uh...says who?"

"Says the English language! Dictionaries! Me!"

"No...it's...y'know. Subjective."

"It is not in any way, shape, or form."

"If that's true, then telling me I could have dessert if I ate my dinner was bribery for all those years, Dad, my own father—"

"That wasn't bribery, that was a bargain," Harry said immediately.

"Ah ha!" James shouted. "Mine was a bargain, too!"

"Wait..." Harry said, frustrated. "No, look—we—and you—and the Fat Lady..." he trailed off. He lowered his voice and hissed, panicked: "Ginny, what do we do?"

"Nothing we can do, he's right, we definitely bribed our kids."

"Ah ha!" James repeated. "The apple does—does not—fall far from the—from the—the branches!"

"Oh, Merlin..." Harry said.

Ginny continued: "James, focus. Listen. I need you to understand how serious this is! We got inside the Common Room and you lot were absolutely off your faces— including both the Head Boy and Girl, and you both better be glad we're not going to tell McGonagall—"

"I'm not drunk," Evvie argued at once.

"Evvie,"Ginny deadpanned. "You were chugging firewhisky from the bottle when we entered, save it."

Laughter erupted.

"That's because she lost our game!" Clementine giggled. "Her team...she, Ben, James, Nora—oh, they were awful."

"James isn't awful," Nora argued at once. "Don't say that!"

"At the game he was....yes, he was!"

"What game?" interrupted Harry curiously.

"No, Harry, we're reprimanding—James, where do you think you're going? I haven't even gotten to my point yet!"

"Yeah? Is it very far away? Do you need help finding it?" James asked, and then promptly collapsed into laughter at his own joke. James roared in annoyance a moment later. "Ow, Mum, my own mummy, you're giving me mummy-issues, let go of my ear—"

"When we walked in," Ginny continued through gritted teeth. "We found you and your Prefects—sans Rose, wherever she is—so drunk you didn't notice Lily doing shots!"

"Oh my god," Evvie suddenly said. She sounded terribly confused. "Was Lily Potter doing shots?"

"Yeah, that's literally what I just said. She was two sofas away from you! With Caden Rowle!" said Ginny.

"What?! One of my—my little Slytherins?!"

"Little Cade!" Ben said. "Oh, they grow up so fast, Ev...seems like only yesterday we were teaching him how to properly tuck his shirt in and now he's tucking in those shots—"

"This is not a joke, Benjamin!" Ginny snapped. "You're lucky I haven't Flooed Oliver! What would he be more upset about: the fact that you lost the match or the fact that you got drunk afterwards instead of working on strategies for the next match?"

There was a sharp intake of breath. "Please don't tell my dad, Ginny."

"Don't tell his dad," Evvie echoed.

"Mum," James asked. "Am I still your favorite?"

"James, why did you think bringing alcohol into the Common Room—where first years are—was a good idea?" Harry demanded.

"Mum? You...you didn't answer. Do you need time to think on it? That's okay...but answer right now, because it's not okay."

"James. Get a grip. I love you very much no matter what. Now answer your dad's question."

"But like...how much? More than my siblings?"

"James!" snapped Ginny.

"What?"

"Talk to your father!"

"Oh," James said. And then: "Dad, how much do you love me?"

"This is hopeless," Harry said.

"Jamie," Nora hissed. It sounded like a stage-whisper. "Jamie-Baby, I love you more than everybody else in the world."

A collective groan.

"Here we go again..." Louis murmured.

"Thanks, Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny," Roxanne snapped. "We only just got them to shut up before you arrived."

James's smile was audible. There was the sound of sweet giggling followed by a kiss. "I love you more than everybody else in the entire world, Nora-Bear," James murmured.

"Wow," Ginny said sarcastically. "That's nice. Did you hear that, Harry? Everybody."

"I want to kiss you all day long and all night long and forever," Nora said dreamily. It didn't sound like she and James had even noticed Ginny's comment. "I love your face and your body and your smile and your freckles—"

"Yeah, Nora, I'm pretty sure his smile and his freckles count as part of his body and face," Louis snickered. He was ignored; Nora and James were officially in their own world.

"I love your face and body and lips and hands and— and I'm gonna kiss you for the rest of my life."

"Ugh," Ginny whispered, disgusted. "They've been like this for the entire night?"

"They're pretty much always like this; the alcohol just encourages it," somebody else said. Scorpius guessed it was Bec or maybe Sara.

"That might be punishment enough," Harry hissed, presumably towards Ginny.

"I was just thinking that myself...should we still punish them all?"

"I dunno...I could dock a few House points?"

"Hmm, yeah, we could do that..."

"We can hear you, you know," Roxanne scoffed.

"We know," Ginny said. "Oi! James! Nora! Not in front of everybody—what are you doing?! Get a room, honestly! No, wait— go to your room! Room of Requirement, I need a room!"

"You're a mum, Ginny, and I...respect that authority, so I will go to my room, too," Nora declared.

"Oh, your room is also James's, is it?" Ginny said flatly.

"Yes."

"That's it? 'Yes'? No witty quips about conserving space?"

"I just haven't got that in me right now," Nora said.

James muttered something in a suggestive tone that caused Ben to roar with laughter and Ginny and Harry to cry: "James!"

The sound of a nearby closing door followed. Silence ensued.

"We've...gotta....figure out a way to use love as an energy source," Jacques slurred abruptly. "Hook those two up to something and get some bloody electricity in this drafty castle..."

Muffled giggles.

"That's all right, Jacques," Roxanne struggled to say around withheld laughter. "Shh...just...have a lie