It's a simple enough six-step dance that just repeats itself until the song ends. A few spins here and there and you're practically a pro.
I can see his reluctance as he gazes at the dancers, but he answers with his own smile and takes my arm in his. I catch the hopeful gaze of Queen Reyna in Darius's direction and gently pull Ascian to a slight halt, turning to his sister. "Rina, I don't mean to seem as if I speak for the King, but would you dance with Darius? I believe you had mentioned a few things to discuss with him as well."
"Oh, uh..." She looks at Darius shyly. I don't believe the woman is shy, just a damn good actor.
Darius lowers his head. "I'd be honored myself."
Rohana meets us at the bottom, having answered the small summon I sent her. "Take King Cyrus and Queen Aria to Siscilla in Fernweh. Ensure they're taken care of properly and have a few of my brother's men posted in the halls outside their rooms. Make sure they understand the meaning of the words hospitality and safety."
Rohana bows with two fingers to her brow before ascending the stairs to the still shaken rulers. They won't want to leave their people and their capital, but Rohana will get them to Fernweh. I can trust her with that much and more.
The Cressidians who she was watching don't seem happy with their missing escort. At least they're smart and I can now count on them to side with us. Their hides will be perfectly safe.
Ascian and I find a spot in the outer ring of the circling dancers and turn to face each other. Behind him, his sister and Darius do the same. I quickly look away from them and gently guide his right hand to sit at my waist, taking the other in my own right hand. His arms are too stiff.
"Relax," I tell him. "Just loosen your body and follow my lead. Do you know what a box step is?"
"By a different name, perhaps, but I believe I know the steps."
"Then you'll be perfectly fine. We'll take it slow." He glances at the couples passing us. Mind you it's a slow dance in itself. "Slower than that."
He laughs softly, then repositions his feet and rolls out his shoulders. With a nod from him we slowly work through our first box step, then another, and another until we fall into a steady rhythm and soon join the outer circle.
My feet start moving on their own soon after. "I told you you'd get it."
Another soft laugh. He doesn't seem one for booming laughter, though he looks like one who would. We'll see about that. "Forgive me if I'm rusty. Five years in a forest alone will do that to you."
"You're forgiven. After all, my own steps are questionable after only two months of being tortured." I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. Sour subject. For both of us. "Sorry."
"I - uh...it's alright. I am sorry - for what he did to you."
Branka. If she told him then he's worth more than I initially deducted. He's strong, that much is clear, along with mannered and strategic, if not a little standoffish though I'm sure that's just due to his size. His own hairs, five males and two females look just as sturdy.
His gleaming hair is an outright outlier, however. I've never known someone who wasn't nearing a death bed to have the entirely blank color on their head. Makes me wonder if it's meant to be so on purpose, announcing his bloodline and asserting his rank without the need for the golden crown that looks like sun rays. I am curious about him, his people, their culture, and just about everting, but it'll have to wait.
I shrug a shoulder, feigning indifference. "I got out, didn't I?"
I look away, not wanting to watch his eyes assess and question me. He can, I just don't want to watch him do it.
I catch a glimpse of Darius and Rina across the way, both smiling and laughing like old friends. He's kind like that. Able to ease anyone almost instantly and turn a night like this into something more bearable. I clearly suck at it.
I turn back to Ascian, finding his eyes still watching me closely. "Your...friend had many good things to say about you."
My heart clenches at the mention of Branka. She's done so much for me in the passing days and I still don't know how to thank her for all of it. "Dang. I had hoped it was all only bad."
I get a smile, but no laugh this time. I really am rusty. "I trust her and her words."
"But...?"
"What makes you think there's a but?"
"Because there's always one, and you have that look in your eye that tells me you do."
His eyes squint now. He's not necessarily trying to hide it. "I'm simply meant that I wondered what kind of Queen you were?" It's my turn to squint. "The opinions of others are valuable, but that of one's own self is far more so."
"That sounds like something my father would say," I mumble. My chest gives a squeeze at the mention of him, but like everything else trying to break free of me, I shove it down.
"Your father is a wise man."
"Was," I correct.
"I'm sorry." I shrug again, this time forgetting the indifference.
I deflect and switch subjects quickly. "I don't know what kind of Queen I am. I've only been one for three months or so, and two of those were in a dark room." I avoid mentioning the torturing again, but it's hard to avoid.
"And in the time since?" he asks evenly.
"Well, since then my kingdom was burned to smithereens before I could ever see my mother's homeland, the small fraction of her people that survived have nowhere to go, Xaxias threatened us - several times, - we faced and killed something as tall as this castle, Darius nearly died, I nearly lost my mind, more people died and became homeless, and then we got here. To this."
I catch the musician's queue a second before and shift my feet just in time for the single spin. His five years of not dancing doesn't hinder him one bit as he seamlessly catches me and continues the box-step.
"But what of you?"
The notes repeat again and we do another spin. "Darius is the better ruler." I catch him and Rina again, though they've advanced to the inner circle whereas we've stuck to the outer. How have we not noticed them pass us yet?
"He's kind and trustworthy," I continue. "He never turns away from the chance to help or save someone."
"And you would?"
"I...No. I'd likely be the one to just jump off the cliff while he tried to rationally think the plan through with everyone else. I have no self-preservation."
"Your friend did mention that." I scowl at him, though I should be giving the woman the grueling look. "She also mentioned your choice to stay behind and get the others out."
My eyes snap away from his sister and Darius, landing on the gold embroidery of his coat and staying there. "There was no other choice."
"Or not one you wanted to test," he infers.
Twenty-minutes. That's all it fucking took for him to read me like a children's book. I suppose it's that one's opinion of one's self thing he mentioned. I have similar tactics I've learned, but I'll have to try his in the future. It seems a hell of a lot less painful and a time saver.
Still staring at his coat, I shrug, lost in too many thoughts to think. "We do stupid things for love."
Shit.
"Love of a single man? Or many?" I note his pointed glance to where the Bhaltayr still stand on the steps, eyes watching every movement while also watching Darius and I twist about the floor.
One slip. He read me like a book and then got a slip out of me. Saints I'm highly out of practice - and he clearly isn't, five years in a forest and all.
I shake my head to his implication, knowing full and well that it's more than that. "For home." It's the honest answer, as it seems feeble to try and lie now.
He studies me again. Silently spinning me twice and matching me step by step. He still doesn't say anything as we take the window and move into the inner circle, right behind our companions. The steps become shorter and slightly quicker, but it's easier, somehow.
I don't push for him to say anything as the song begins its ending to the long repetitive melody. He's clearly made some kind of decision about me. Not one I can read, but he's definitely made one.
A few more spins later and the music slows its last notes. The couples around us begin to slow as well, some leaving as the musicians begin their transition into their next song, something faster by only a count. Ascian and I slow to a stop and I move to weave through the couples and back to the watching crowd, but Ascian stops me gently.
"My uncle used to say that great rulers will never admit to being so. Instead, they'll list their flaws and say with all honesty that they're rather unfit for the job, all because they don't believe themselves good enough for the people and the kingdom. But that is exactly the reason that they are great; because they're always trying to be better. I may have only just made your acquaintance, but you seem to be a rather great Queen in the making."
I don't have an answer for him. Not a thank you or a remark or even a deflection. I wasn't raised to be a Queen as Darius was to be a King or my brother one in a similar matter, I was just given the name and title the moment I gained these powers. I don't know the first thing about leading a whole damn kingdom.
"I'm afraid I don't know this one," he admits shyly, watching a couple pass.
The song didn't shift much, but the steps did. The box step is gone and the couples begin the dance something I don't really pay attention to.
"I do." We turn to find King Helios approaching us. A glance and I find his wife, Nicia, already relieving Rina and taking her place with Darius. The latter heads for us as well, likely to take her brother off the floor with her.
Ascian still holds my left hand in his, and I nod at his silent question. The two Kings lower their heads to one another, and then to me as the Helios man takes my hand and waist. I note his tighter grip on both compared to Ascian's. He hasn't allied himself with us yet, which means I have to be nice. I take a deep breath.
"An interesting attire choice." He gestures to the armor covering the arm he holds up. Then his eyes dip down somewhere a married man should not be looking so desirably at for so long. It boils my blood, but I draw some from my cheek instead to let it simmer.
"I like to be prepared." We go into the series of spins and holds without another word.
At least we were until we faced each other once again, and he says, "You don't plan to woo me to your cause?"
I respond as I turn myself to the second hold, my back to his chest, one hand still in his while the other gently extends laterally, and his still sits on my waist.
"I've attempted to do so several times now. First with sending my guard with the cure to the curse, then her proposal, our meeting earlier this afternoon, and tonight with ridding of the demons that would've fed on everyone in this room." A spin and I once again look up to his rather wandering gaze. "I believe the earlier display was enough to prove to you what would befall your kingdom when you make your choice."
"You mean your display of killing that woman?"
I fight the urge to roll me eyes. "Believe me, she was no woman. And Darius and I have already promised our aid despite your decision when we can give it. I have no plan to harm a single one of your citizens, or yourself."
"And yet you could." I meet his challenging stare. "Just as easily as you killed the guards which were posted about the room."
I wait until I hear the familiar notes to respond. "Indeed, I can." Now with my back once again to him, I search the room for Darius. He and Nicia dance in the outer circle. Our eyes meet for the moment when they pass us, their ring alternating in the opposite direction of ours.
This is going to be a longer night than either of us is going to like.
For nearly two hours I'm on the dance floor being traded and passed around like a newborn baby between the Kings of Ker. Some are kind and respectful, others prodding my life, my powers, and our plans. Varin has been the most handsy out of all of them. Thankfully, he's the last of the vexatious men, but sadly, this is a very long song.
The conductor clearly noted the presence of the royals on the dance floor and has been playing slower songs to accommodate us. I've been out of my mind with wanting something fun and upbeat, if only so that the choreography included less touching. I've been too disgusted with some of their behavior that I refused to look towards Darius again and catch one of the women doing something that could have one of my wolves giving more than just a warning growl. I'm aware that Darius and I are technically two separate rulers, both unmarried and of age to accept consorts. But must they really try to feel me out now? Our world is literally about to be dragged into the underworld, and all they're worried about is uniting their kingdoms with another's through marriage and making more damn heirs.
No thank you.
Vanir pulls me snugly against his body as I return to him from the last step. A low growl does escape Víđarr this time from the skip of my heart. My whole body feels sick with the warmth of his skin so close. It makes me wish that I had armor covering every inch of my body just to separate us. His arm wraps around the entirety of my waist too. There's no getting out of that, or getting away from his disgusting breath that snakes down the side of my neck without making a rather large scene.
Mater?
Leave it, Tanith, I tell her before she or her sisters can take another step toward me. The song's almost over.
He should not be-
You can't kill a King with three hundred eyes watching, Rohana. Leave it.
The order rings out through my mind, and they return to their places. I above all of them don't like where the King of Sylvaine's hands are, and I'd gladly punish and remind him of just who he's trying to grope if it didn't mean breaking an alliance and starting another war. His touch makes my skin itch, and Saints that breath is turning my gut. He's clearly had plenty of drinks already. Whiskey. I can handle any other alcohol, but whiskey...I'm definitely going to be sick.
I can't handle whiskey. The smell of it, the taste of it. I don't know what about the drink unsettles me, just that I've never had a welcoming feeling for it.
I've suffered nonstop questioning all night. From myself to my powers, to Darius, to the Bhaltary and Ginerva and their origins with Thralia. Questions, dancing, more questions, and more dancing. It never ends.
Well, it's coming to an end, thank the Gods and their Saints.
The musicians let the last high note echo with a vibrato, the guitar beginning the ending melody beneath the rest of the band. The violin joins in next, then everyone else finishes the melody and lets the song go, no transition this time, just a final statement.
King Varin doesn't let go right away as everyone else does. I have to send another order to the Ginerva before they all throw the drunk King against the wall. The Bhaltayr look just as prone to doing so, but they hold their tongues against Víđarr and Kit's own warning.
"Thank you for the dance," I say, pulling out of his grasp.
His hands find mine again and pull me back towards him. "Why not another one?"
Because I'll knock your ass out if we do.
"King Varin," Darius chimes, bringing along Queen Sely on his arm. His smile has Varin's widening greatly. If only the poor man was sober enough to notice that those are flames in Darius's eyes, not a gleam.
The man doesn't let go of me as he turns around. "King Darius! Enjoy the stock of Sylvaine?"
I hold back my retort as does Sely, though her disgust and anger are written all over her face.
"The Queen of Sylvaine's company has been most enlightening." With information, no doubt, but the King seems to miss the double meaning and laughs all too loudly. More than a few eyes are drawn to it, and his lowering hand. "Forgive me, but I believe I am owed a dance with the Queen of Thralia."
My stomach twists further, but I hold my breath and keep it down, along with eyes. Ten, nine, eight, seven...
"Ah, yes, of course," Varin stammers. "Queen Clarice." At least he has the decency to bow before turning away and zig-zag back towards his guards. There's no one in his path.
I welcome the iciness of where his warmth had been, though my stomach still rolls and flips. I hold my breath again, counting all over again to settle my stomach and keep my throat too occupied to let anything up.
Sely stares after her husband with a murder plan. She turns to me once he's close enough to her guards. "After this, I don't suppose I could purchase your talents?"
I blink. "I don't think you'll have to pay."
A crooked grin lifts her right cheek. A lioness on the hunt for the male that mistreats her pride. "Then consider Sylvaine a lifelong friend of Thralia."
She leaves with a wink, her posture clearly that of a leader who's a boulder in a heavy current river.
"Nearly a month into Queenhood and I've already secured my first ally for Thralia. I don't know whether to feel scared or accomplished." I turn back to Darius to find his eyes already on me, the flames still in his eyes. I glance down at his feet, noticing the three foot distance he's kept and seems to be maintaining.
"Second ally," he corrects. "You've always had Vandaria as your first."
We stare at each other, his face not revealing anything for the first time in a long time. I can't remember the last time I looked at him and couldn't find one of his tells or read his thoughts in his eyes. There's always been something to drive him. Anger, fear, passion, love...I don't even know what drives me anymore.
But something does pass between us. Silence. Painful, earth-shattering silence. And yet, a thousand things are passing between us. Unspoken things.
"Did he hurt you?" A part of me crumbles at the dead tone of his voice. I didn't mean to...
I swallow my words. "If he hurt me he'd be worse off than drunk."
A single nod. That's all I get in response. I can't tell if he's mad - and he has every right to be - or if he's just mastering his anger or doesn't know what to say. I sure as hell don't know what to say, and I usually have a whole lot to say. A snarking remark, a joke, a conversation starter, or an argument to lead. There's only one thing I do want to say, it just feels so...pathetic and useless and nowhere near enough to fix all the things I fucked up. But I have nothing else to say.
"I'm sorry."
His brows twitch downward, but again, that's it. "For what?"
"What do you mean, 'for what?'" I step towards him in my slight anger. He doesn't back up or stop me, so I take another and lower my voice so no one nearby can eavesdrop as they're so desperately trying to do. "Darius, I...I fucked up."
"What do you mean you fucked up?"
"I..." His face drops a little when I pause, Right. Today. What did I fuck up, today.
"I shouldn't have shut you out. You were all just trying to help and I closed myself off and practically threatened you - and I know that I scared you and I'm even slightly scaring you now, but I just-"
"Clare."
"-I didn't know what to do so I
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