https://806847803.lofter.com/post/21b30f_b9a6c21

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Disclaimer: The story belongs to the original author, the characters belong to each other, and all unreasonable and ooc belong to me.

The world view is that all the identities of Dazai and Chuuya are swapped, that is, Chuuya of the Butei Club and Dazai, the mafia. All too, but in fact, it is Dazai-centered, and the CP flavor is not strong. If you feel that there is another CP, it is an illusion (.)

If you can accept it, please↓

Recommended bgm: 镇命歌 -しずめうた-

The god of death is the most expected wish

1.

—What wish would you make at the last moment of your life?

—Kill him, kill Dazai Osamu who is loved by everyone.

2.

People are going straight to heaven, and people are going straight to hell.

3.

When Dazai Osamu woke up from the darkness again, he saw the familiar ceiling in front of him.

Ah, why is it that even the Mafia's treatment room is filled with dead bodies?

Disgusting

Without hesitation, the frequent visitor on the bed vomited out directly according to his instinct. The sour gastric juice burned through his throat like the lowest quality liquor.

The person who was trying to get closer to the bed silently took two steps back.

"Does your partner's defection make you so sad, Dazai-kun?"

"I'm just trying a new method of suicide, Mr. Mori."

"Swallowing biological weapons is not a clean suicide. Your subordinates thought you were a rotting corpse when they found you. The doctors who performed your stomach lavage had to wear gas masks."

"What? I thought it was true what was written in the suicide manual that no one would come to save me."

The culprit of the disaster curled his lips without any guilt.

"That thing is said to be well-known internationally. It's a high-risk product called canned herring, right? Dazai-kun really didn't leave himself any room for retreat this time."

"No, that's canned mackerel that's made exclusively in Yokohama. All you have to do is drown the mackerel, cut open its stomach, and soak it in salt water. Sounds as easy as committing suicide, right?"

At this point, the complacent gourmet frowned in distress.

"But I failed many times before I succeeded. The mackerels either didn't drown or were rescued by my friends. It took a lot of effort to make a can. Although the process is a bit troublesome, after all, it is a special suicide to celebrate the disappearance of the slugs. Of course, I have to choose a way that will go down in history. It has nothing to do with being sad."

"Compared to leaving a name in history, I prefer Dazai-kun's talent for being infamous for eternity."

"That's certainly the case from the end result."

The family in need of death spread their hands helplessly, the densely packed bandages on them were shocking.

"So can we end this pointless conversation now? Talking to you about suicide is making me want to vomit."

The pale lips, the same color as the bandages, casually uttered the closing and opening remarks.

"From what I know, the Mafia boss is not a free position where he can have time to chat with his subordinates in addition to raising young girls."

4.

Unlike his partner who is the conscience of the industry, Dazai Osamu is always good at stepping on the bottom line of the leader and being lazy. So when the organization went all out to hunt down Nakahara Chuuya and an unknown low-level person, the youngest cadre of the mafia was at ease staying at his residence pretending to be sick and skipping work, drinking alcohol and canned food (crab meat), and occasionally touching fish with the eyes of the intelligence department and doing some minor work, and he didn't feel ashamed at all.

Until Ozaki Koye knocked on his door with a young boy named Bai, whose clothes were as strange as those of Nakahara Chuuya.

Dazai Osamu refused at first.

Why should he clean up the mess left by the slug? When did he become a babysitter? Besides, this gloomy kid doesn't look fun to watch. He keeps calling Chuuya-san Chuuya-san. It's disgusting just to think about it.

Although he was secretly harming the master and his disciple in his heart, he still appeared to be a smiling scumbag and was easily shifting the blame.

However, Ozaki Koyo had already figured out the ever-changing target's technique of shifting the blame. As a prominent figure in Hong Kong's underworld, she was able to use her ultimate move without panicking.

"The leader asked me to pass on a message"

—Akutagawa is an outstanding talent that Chuuya Nakahara has contributed to the organization, and it is most appropriate for Dazai-kun, whom I trust the most, to take over.

"Most trusted...?"

Although he usually does not care about the main point, he knows the taboos of the mafia very well.

Dazai Osamu then suppressed all his playful expressions, lowered his eyebrows and showed just the right amount of obedience.

"I will obey the leader's orders."

When Ozaki Koye left, she took a deep look at Akutagawa who was silent behind her.

The young man was dressed in black, just like Zhongyuan Zhongye, as if he was born to blend into the darkness.

As an experienced person, she felt that the leader was pushing Akutagawa into the fire.

If it weren't for the defection of her disciple Nakahara Chuuya, which caused her to have an awkward identity, she would actually like to take Akutagawa under her wing instead of handing him over to this student in front of her, Mori Ogai, whom even she couldn't see through.

But the Mafia never allows disobedience.

She let out an inaudible sigh.

It's a pity for Akutagawa...

5.

Those who are favored by the leader of the port mafia always receive special indulgence. For example, when facing his sweetheart Alice, the middle-aged uncle becomes shameless and willing to work hard and eat and play with her. He is a model of lolita control.

Therefore, Dazai knew that even if he really disobeyed orders, his mentor would not take it to heart.

As long as the lowest line that Mori Ogai drew for Dazai Osamu is not really touched, everything can remain the same.

6.

After seeing off Ozaki Momiji, Dazai did not close the door of the house.

Instead of the illusion of loyalty, a contemptuous smile once again appeared on his delicate face.

"Well, nice words are just nice words. I have no interest in a stray dog ​​that was abandoned during the training. Akutagawa-kun, please fend for yourself."

!

Without the slightest hesitation, the angry mad dog bared its sharp fangs at its future mentor.

"Mr. Chuuya didn't abandon me!!!"

The aggressive Rashomon wanted to tear the enemy's throat as usual, but disappeared with a cry just before success.

However, the situation for users is not much better.

The loyal foreign dog had been searching for his missing master without sleep for several days, and his body was already exhausted. The burden of forcibly activating his supernatural powers made him collapse.

"This is really unbelievable. Is this the level of students taught by a slug?"

Unmoved by the attacks and pain of the weak, Dazai simply looked down at his ugly form as he lay exhausted on the ground.

"Even I, who is just a nominal teacher, feel a little embarrassed."

Even though his body could no longer move and he knew that his supernatural powers would be invalidated, Akutagawa still stubbornly wanted to deny the other party's words.

He doesn't mind being insulted, but he will never allow anyone to attack his teacher!

Akutagawa staggered to his feet, clenched his fists and responded with his determination without showing any weakness.

"I am Mr. Chuuya's student, and my teacher is only Mr. Chuuya!!!"

Oh my, he is always talking about Mr. Nakaye and Mr. Nakaye, it's so noisy.

"Only dogs that don't bite are the ones that yell."

These were the last words Akutagawa heard before he lost consciousness.

With the dull sound of a body collapsing to the ground, the room returned to the dead silence it had been before the visitor knocked on the door.

The perpetrator smiled with satisfaction.

7.

They came from darkness and go to light.

8.

"Dazai-kun actually thought I was playing dumb. Don't you feel the warm atmosphere of a superior comforting his subordinate?"

"Condolences? Alice-chan's new prank?"

"It has nothing to do with little Alice. This is part of the mafia boss's tutorial. Experience it carefully, my lovely student."

"You are really tireless in destroying people."

"After all, being a mafia boss is not an easy job. You need to constantly absorb new knowledge to keep your job."

"Dazai-kun, have you heard of William Ouchi? The idea that managers need to communicate with their subordinates to create close relationships comes from his theory Z. He believes that the emphasis Japanese companies place on their employees has enabled them to beat their American competitors."

The patient on the bed looked genuinely confused.

"Eh? Didn't your most loyal and competent employee just quit?"

"Headhunters are getting harder and harder to deal with these days, and being a leader isn't easy. But it was indeed my fault for not paying enough attention to Chuuya-kun who was in adolescence."

"So I came to make some remedial measures—"

Mori Ogai lifted up the thin chin of his best student who was trying to dodge, forcing him to remove his disguise which he thought was vulnerable. After struggling for a while, the amber pupil finally had no way to escape and had to face the dark eyes of the superior.

"I am very worried that the children I teach may also enter a rebellious period. After all, the influence of peers is always much more powerful than the advice of teachers."

Dazai Osamu's pale skin gradually showed purple marks from pinching.

"Have you ever thought about..."

He leaned close to the young cadre's cold earlobe, and his tone was full of deep concern that didn't sound fake.

——Would it be great if you were the one who escaped from the Mafia?

9.

He came from life and goes to death.

10.

Since the disbandment of the Double Black, the tasks assigned to Dazai were inexplicably easier than before. He nonchalantly speculated that either the people who really worked hard had left, or some idiots were trying to undermine his power.

It doesn't matter what happens. Anyway, there is no possibility of promotion for the top five cadres.

With a nonchalant attitude, he is even leisurely enough to go on a trip at any time.

——

The spring in the north also carries the fierce temperament of the fighting nation. The coniferous forest climate at high latitudes never favors travelers from afar. Dazai, who was being whipped on the cheeks by the cold wind, couldn't help but regret why he forgot to bring a scarf.

Although the dwarf's taste is appalling, it is better than nothing.

Unlike the strangers in awkward situations, street performers play Katyusha passionately without fear of the cold wind, for a living and for a living - they always rush to the drinking table just to earn enough money for a bottle of wine.

Dazai touched the little change left in his pocket, which was only enough to buy a bottle of the cheapest canned coffee.

I heard that the drinks in Russian vending machines are hot all year round.

Poking the shipping button with curiosity, he unexpectedly touched an equally slender and cold finger.

Hey, you are wearing so many clothes but still come to snatch the last can of coffee from me. Russian people are so unfriendly.

11.

Human beings are such despicable creatures that sooner or later they will get used to the cold no matter how cold it is.[1]

12.

You always have to pay for your time.

Dazai finally realized this and decided to stay in Yokohama from now on.

13.

In the meaningless daily life, time is swallowed by the monster called "the past" and becomes a part of its huge body.

After knowing that Akutagawa had accepted the mission of bounty hunting down a human tiger, Dazai secretly installed a high-definition camera on his beautiful little follower.

Live broadcast of cat and dog fights! No need to be high! There will also be unexpected guest surprises!

...

An elder once said that life is like a competitive online game. The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. Let's reject toxic advice and start with ourselves.

The only spectator of the fight yawned in boredom.

Until the boring one-sided overwhelming advantage was broken by the intrusion of a third person.

Dazai had just finished eating a can of crab meat when Nakahara Chuuya suddenly appeared in the camera with an attitude of a protector.

He slapped his thigh excitedly.

Here we come, Shura Field!

However, to the audience's surprise, Nakahara Chuuya had already changed his job to become a shining dwarf, and he hit several wonderful straight balls in succession at the beginning!

"Akutagawa, you have really grown up and are worthy of being my student, Nakahara Chuuya."

The excellent staff of the Armed Detective Agency knocked on Rashomon's head expertly, even though there was still blood and flesh of the white tiger boy between the black beast's teeth.

Akutagawa's defense was broken!

"It was precisely because there was nothing left to teach you that I could safely leave you in the Mafia."

Akutagawa suffered a heavy blow!

Nakahara Chuuya effortlessly picked up Nakajima and Tanizaki who were lying on the ground with one hand, and extended an invitation to his apprentice who still hadn't reacted.

"I'll take these two guys with me. After the mission is over, let's go have a drink together!"

He patted the boy's thin shoulder, turned and walked towards where he was now staying.

"Even though he's an adult, he's still an immature brat."

Dazai in front of the monitor was so frightened by the bizarre development of the plot that he almost dropped his can.

Hey, this isn't right. Where's the fight and the Shura Field we promised? ? ? Akutagawa-kun, you're going to conquer me just by a few compliments? ? ?

The game commentator Dazai rejected the player's verbal attack and closed the live broadcast room.

14.

It is because of one's intention that one falls into hell. [2]

15.

Dazai Osamu can still clearly recall the scene of Akutagawa receiving training.

He was knocked down countless times and struggled to get up countless times.

If there were other people present, they would surely wonder what a powerful desire was that drove, supported and guided everything he did.

Reluctance? Jealousy? Regret? Anger?

However, there was no twisted, filthy, or unattainable obsession in the boy's eyes.

What burned brightly in those dark pupils was only clean and pure faith.

Everything makes sense, as it should be.

But for the dark training room, the light was too dazzling, as if it could penetrate the bandage, pierce the skin and directly into the brain.

So the substitute teacher had to close his eyes for the time being and bury all the embarrassment deep in his memory.

—Akutagawa-kun This time... I finally found a good teacher.

16.

How could I really not have expected this?

At the bottom of the Mori Ogai pit lay a pile of blood-stained bandages, but Akutagawa was lucky enough to jump out of a bottomless mass grave.

17.

"Dazai Dazai, what does the god of death look like?"

Alice, wearing a cute little dress, looked curiously at the newly released novels on the bookshelf. The works that caused a sensation often had unusual names.

The Glasses, the Hat and the Grim Reaper[3]

"Hmm... maybe it's the obsessive compulsive disorder with three lines in the hair, or maybe it's the ugly freak who loves to eat apples. Do you want to read that book, Alice?"

"Hmm! The book is too high for me to reach. Dazai, help me get it!"

"Glad to help... eh?"

Just as he was about to reach out to take it, a ridiculous black glove quickly snatched the target away.

"I can't even grab a book. That's really lame! Don't you agree, Dazai?"

Wow, that's bad, it's the worst possible situation!

He originally thought that the reunion with his former partner after many years should be on a battlefield, in prison, at a funeral or some other bloody place.

And not in a sleepy civilian bookstore.

So as usual, the mafia side was the first to ignite the smoke of war.

"Oh~ What a pity! If the bookshelf was a little higher, there wouldn't be so many dwarfs coming here."

"Huh? You bastard, you're still the same idiot after all this time!"

Nakahara Chuuya's temper was still explosive, so his careful action of holding the book seemed particularly abrupt.

"Besides, anything that falls into your hands will be ruined!"

After watching Alice skillfully find a place to sit and watch the show, Dazai turned around and showed his former partner an even more despicable look of contempt.

"The stubborn hat storage center is actually reading a novel. What a big news! Is it because the book title has a hat in it that you are interested in it and want to challenge your IQ?"

"Stop joking!"

Forcibly ignoring all the enemy's taunting skills, Nakahara Chuuya proudly pointed at the author's signature on the title page of the book.

"This is my friend's dream come true, how can a fool like Mackerel appreciate it!"

—I know.

Dazai Osamu paused, then opened his mouth and made another sarcastic remark.

"But the brain capacity of a slug is much smaller than that of a mackerel. Do you think you can understand this, Chuuya? Hahaha."

18.

—I know.

The unspoken words were strangled in a throbbing organ in the chest.

—I know that I am not qualified to read his books.

19.

Don't linger on the passing water, so that you can turn back from the sea of ​​suffering and realize the cause of the orchid early.

20.

When the group attacked, Dazai, as Mori Ogai's right-hand man, greatly shortened the progress of the war.

Although the direct consequence is that the black dog that Chuuya raised came to the detective agency more and more frequently, and with the teacher's tacit approval, he had a lot of fun fighting with the white tiger that was also picked up. Especially after the Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency temporarily stopped fighting, the two sides entered a magical state of fighting each other off the field and fighting the enemy together on the field without mercy.

But the most troublesome thing at the moment is not how to integrate the new generation of double black.

"Let me be clear in advance. After we clean up this garbage, it will be your turn next, right?"

"Tsk, I had to come here because Chuuya couldn't handle it alone. I lose motivation for the whole day just thinking about your face..."

Forced to break free by their fate that loves farce, the two blacks in the senior group are now standing on a united front to save Sleeping Beauty Q.

This is the most disgusting battle plan for both sides.

"Chuya, do you know canned herring? It's a delicacy dark enough to make your hat fly off."

"The night you disappeared from the organization, I opened a can of mackerel I made myself to