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hi friends!

before anything, can i just say thank you for the amount of love you all have shown this story? it has been nothing short of heart stopping.

but the reason for this extra chapter is because i felt that i needed to make something clear about iris & solar. especially solar.

first, as you've guessed it, iris is in an abuse parental relationships with her father. but i feel like many people don't understand that sometimes even that isn't enough for people to stay away.

iris loves her dad. just as much as she hates him. so, when she invited solar over to the party her dad was throwing and he refused, she was rightfully hurt. but i mean, we understand why he didn't want to come right?

and at the end of the book, many of you guys wonder if iris goes back to living with her dad since solar is gone. i didn't elaborate on that for a reason. i left it open so you guys could draw your own conclusions.

now, for solar. honestly i will keep this very simple.

his character is not to be solely be loved or solely hated. i did that on purpose.

what he did can be seen as shitty. knowing he had no plans to stay long term, why would he involve himself with someone he recognized brokenness within?

his actions can also be justified by love. maybe not at first meeting. at that point it was major intrigue. he recognized himself in another and he just "had" to know her.

i love love love that some of y'all challenge him. i mean, whewwww. i know this is overall a story about romance between two lonely people but it's also about how that same romance became the thing that emotionally destroyed them.

here's an excerpt from chapter nine:

"You looked distraught, broken down; I just had to know you."

"Even if it ruined me?" I found myself asking. My eyes set on yours. I watched your green eyes swirl as if you were looking at something oh so extraordinary.

"Even if it ruined us."

i think it's safe to say that some of y'all were coming for solar with a vengeance that felt personal lol. it's quite entertaining to see how each person reacts to this scene.

majority of you hate him for saying this. you think that only iris will bear the brunt of his departure. and i understand why you'd think that but y'all, he loved her too.

(here's something that never made the story itself): the minute solar turned 18, he made the decision to never stay in the same place for too long. he wanted to make memories and then move along to some new ones

but unbeknownst to him, he fell in love. and the decisions that followed after weren't made out of malice but of selfishness to love and be loved.

guys i wanted to write a story where one could be hit with the realistic truth that a lot of people will love deeply and lose it soon after.

i can write as many HEA's (happily ever after's) as I can but this is still a truth. not everyone gets to stay with their all consuming loves forever.

love is selfish, scary and sometimes so much bigger than you that it overwhelms you. so the decisions you think are smart in the moment, will not always end up being so.

i will end this by saying, solar is not a perfect character. he's extremely flawed and that is ok. you may not agree with him deciding to approach iris. you're entitled to that stance i promise. some of you may understand why he did it. that's a thousand percent fine too.

iris. our sweet girl.

she loved and was loved. it was all she wanted. a true connection with someone who could make her feel like the sun rose for her.

she wanted to be the reason why someone would randomly smile throughout the day at the simple thought of her.

she wanted to be someone's only, consequences be damned.

and i will tell you this, iris went into this relationship knowing it would eventually end. so maybe one could argue that her heartbreak was self inflicted?

like i said, this book is not clear and cut. it's messy and it hurts but it's also beautiful in a way.

thanks again so much for reading orphic guys. this book has the most special place in my heart and so do all of you.

muah, rhema <3


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