56: Drowning

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WARNING: THIS CHAPTER DOES CONTAIN (A) SENSITIVE TOPIC (S) THAT CAN BE TRIGGERING TO SOME. I DONT WANT TO SAY WHAT IT IS EXACTLY, TO SPARE ANY SPOILERS, BUT IT STARTS AT THE LINE "Cautiously, she pulled the bobby pin out and slowly opened the door." PLEASE BE ADVISED.

Helping someone can be different with every situation. You could help someone complete a simple task, like moving something heavy; you could help someone by giving them a hand when they're busy doing a million other things; you could help them feel better, help can mean a lot of things.

Not being able to help someone, no matter the situation, can make someone feel bad, and wish they could do more.

Or when you try to help someone, and they push you away, insisting that they don't need your help.

"I don't need your help, I don't need anybody's help." Jack kept insisting as he walked through the house, his younger sister following close behind, practically begging him to tell her what's wrong.

"Then at least tell me what's been up with you for the past few days."

"Nothing has been 'going on,' I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine. Let it go." He stopped suddenly, turning around, causing Elle to bump into him. He stepped back, looking at her.

She had concern written all over her expression, her eyes were glazed over; she looked like she was about to cry at any given moment. He sighed, letting his shoulders sink. "Look, I'm just adjusting to the whole.. 'safe community' thing. You and I both know change isn't something I find very easy to deal with." She nodded, understanding. "Now please leave me alone so I can go take a nap." Jack gave her a small smile, hoping it looked convincing. She nodded again, returning the smile before walking away.

Taking a nap is smart, everyone was stressed. Due to the fight between Rick and Pete and how quickly it escalated, Deanna was considering exiling Rick. Everyone knows that if Rick goes, they go with him.

That night, Deanna would hold a town meeting including everybody except Rick and Pete so they could discuss the matter. It would be stupid to exile Rick though, he was looking out for Jessie and her sons. Him being a father and husband himself, he knows that you never lay a hand on anyone, especially your own family.

Elle found it to be none of her business, so she tried not to get involved and avoided the topic all together.

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching as Jack made his way up, not sparing her a glance. "Hey." Ryder came up behind her, startling her.

"Hi."

"You alright?" He asked, wondering why she was standing at the bottom of the staircase.

"Yeah, just tired." She replied. It wasn't entirely a lie, she was tired; but she didn't need to worry anyone else with Jack's troubles, especially when even she doesn't know what's going on with him. "Are you going to that meeting tonight?" She asked, walking over to the couch.

"I don't know," he walked behind her. "Probably. Are you?"

"Probably not. I'm not sure yet." She sat down, laying her feet on the coffee table that sat in the center of the living room.

"What are we going to do if they kick him out?" Ryder began to worry.

"We go with him." Elle stated in such a tone that implied it was the obvious next step. Ryder only nodded, but she was getting the feeling that he might not agree. "You wouldn't?" She turned to look at him and he sat down next to her.

"I don't know. I mean, I want to, but look at what we have here. Food, water, heat, air conditioning- everything." He explained, trying to make his case sound convincing.

"I'm not judging you, it's a hard decision. But, I don't think it's one you're going to have to make. Rick will show them that they need him, that they need us." She tried reassuring him, even though she wasn't even sure she could believe her own words. It didn't exactly help, but he appreciated that she tried.

Elle had a small feeling that just maybe this won't work out in their favor. This could go terribly wrong at any given moment, and if it did, who knows what the result will be? The small feeling gradually grew at the intrusive thoughts.

She sighed, laying her head back as she shut her eyes. "This isn't going to end well, is it?" She admitted.

"Nope." Ryder didn't even try to console her. There was no point, this wasn't going to end well.

The house was quiet, so quiet, one could hear a feather drop. Elle sat on her bed, practically ripping her nails off with her teeth. The ticking of the clock on the wall flooded her ears, echoing with each little tick it made.

The house was empty with the exception of her and Carl who was putting Judith to sleep for the night. Everyone else was at the meeting. I should've gone. Elle thought to herself as she sat there, probably the most nervous she's been her whole life, and she's been through a lot of nerve-racking situations.

The sound of the front door sounded through the house. Almost immediately, she jumped off of the bed and ran down the stairs, wanting to hear the news.

"Slow down, there." Jack spoke when he saw the girl fly down the stairs.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else." She rubbed her forehead. "Where were you?"

"Infirmary, I have another headache." Jack looked at the ground as he rubbed his temple. Something was definitely off with him, and she needed to know.

"Drink more water." She suggested.

"What?" Her words caught him off guard.

"Drink more water, you'll have less headaches." She shrugged. Because Jack wouldn't tell her what was going on with him and why he was acting so strange, that was all the help she could offer. Maybe if his headaches would stop occurring, he would stop acting so strange, or maybe even tell her what was happening.

The two just stood there, looking at each other, unsure of what to do next. Thankfully, that awkward moment was very short, as Carl came downstairs.

"Hey, Elle," he looked at the two blondes. "Oh, was I interrupting something?"

"No, you're good." Jack answered before Elle even had a chance to speak up and say that they needed a minute. Why was he avoiding this conversation?

"Oh okay, well I found something you might like." Carl directed his attention to Elle while pointing upstairs, gesturing that's where his discovery was.

Elle turned to look at Carl, then back at her brother. "Go on." He gave her a small smile, though he couldn't tell how miserable he looked. She turned back to Carl and started following him up the stairs. "Elle," Jack called out, causing her to turn around and face him once more. "I love you."

"I love you too." Why were his eyes so red? If she asked, he would just wave her off anyways. Elle followed Carl to his room, where he sat on the end of his bed, holding a small white rectangle.

"What's that?" Elle couldn't quite see what it was.

"And iPod, about halfway charged." He had the biggest smile on his face, he probably wouldn't look this happy even if he found out the end of the world was actually some fever dream. "There's some music downloaded on it." He told her while trying to untangle the headphones.

She walked over and sat next to him and put her head in her hands. "What's wrong?" Carl asked her, still trying to untangle the headphones.

"I don't know, but something is up with Jack and he won't tell me." She spoke quietly, keeping her head down. She didn't know why she told him that, how would he help? She couldn't even help.

"I'm sure he'll be alright, he probably just needs space from everybody." He tried reassuring her. She only gave him a small smile in return and gently took the wired earbuds from his hands.

He watched intently as she managed to untangle them. "Let's see what's downloaded on this." Elle changed the subject as she handed the earbuds to Carl so he could plug them into the device and they could look through the music library.

She layed back on the bed while Carl went through the song titles. After a short, quiet moment, Carl layed back as well, holding out one of the earbuds for her to take while he had the other already in his ear. She took it and placed it in her ear, the music already playing.

"Welcome to your life,
there's no turning back."

Elle turned onto her right side, using her arm as a cushion for her head to lay on, facing Carl. She closed her eyes and tried to drown into the music, blocking out everything else going on in the world. She tried to focus on the lyrics alone, just listening to the calming instrumentals in the background as well.

Carl turned onto his left side, facing her and closing his eyes as well, as if he's attempting to do the same thing as her, not even knowing that's what she was doing.

They layed there, on the bed, just trying to drown out everything around them. Too much was going on at once, and them being kids, it gets to them faster than it would to adults. Sure, it's fair to say that they're mature for their age, they grew up during the end of the world as they know it. But that's also the problem; they're growing up during the end of the world.

Growing up in a time like this makes them stronger, yes; but it also makes them more vulnerable. They have to bottle up all their emotions because they're always busy trying not to get killed, so when they eventually let it out, it's a lot at once.

Their teenage hormones don't help any either.

"Turn your back on Mother Nature.
Everybody wants to rule the world."

Elle and Carl were the most calm they've been since they arrived in Alexandria, and as if the Universe wanted to ruin that, a gun shot rang out from a distance.

They shot up, pulling the headphones out of their ears and running downstairs. "What the hell was that?" Carl asked, slightly panicking.

"I don't know, should we go see?"

"I have to stay with Judith." Carl realized as Elle put her coat on.

"I'll go check it out, tell Jack where I went." She told him. He nodded and she opened the door. In the blink of an eye, she was running down the street, towards the meeting.

She figured that's where whatever incident it was occured. Her legs carried her farther and faster, she was in a full blown sprint at this point.

She could see the light of the fire ahead of her, she could also hear cries. As she got closer, she saw Aaron and Daryl standing with a man she had never seen before.

She also saw Abraham crouching next to someone on the ground, with blood seeling out of their head. Rick stood still, with a gun to his side, his finger still on the trigger.

Someone was on the ground, with blood pooling out of his neck. Seeing Deanna sitting next to the bleeding man, Elle realized it was her husband. He was dead, but how? She quickly scanned the crime scene and saw Michonne's katana on the ground with some fresh blood on the reflective blade.

"What is going on?" She asked, making everyone aware of her presence. They were all so focused on what had happened only a minute ago, that they hadn't even realized the girl standing there.

Rick turned to face her, he then took a step to the side, allowing her to look in.

She saw that Abraham was crouching next to Pete, with a bullet hole in his head. She put all the pieces together; Pete killed Reggie with Michonne's katana, Rick killed Pete.

Elle looked up to see Maggie comforting Jessie, who cried over her dead husband. He made her life a living hell for both her and her kids, but she still loved him.

Elle took a deep breath, processing everything that happened. This would give a definite answer to Rick's case.

He gets exiled for killing Pete.

He stays for killing Pete, who killed Reggie.

Which would it be? That was solely up to Deanna, and even though a lot of people at the meeting wouldn't agree with her decision, she decided he could stay. Of course, she made some rules to prevent anything like this happening again anytime soon.

"

Good night, Elle."

"Good night, Michonne." Elle gave her a small smile paired with a small wave as Michonne closed the bedroom door.

Elle walked down the hall to brush her teeth before going to bed. She knocked on the door, but got no response. Figuring that nobody was in there, she twisted the doorknob, but the door was locked. Confused, she tried again, jiggling the doorknob.

"Jack's in there." Carl said walking up to her, also waiting to brush his teeth.

"Oh, there was no response when I knocked." She looked over at him. He shrugged and began walking away.

"Let me know when he's done."

"Will do." She called after him.

She sat outside the door for another few minutes. She decided to knock again, this time louder. Still no response.

She walked to her room and walked over to the dresser, which was littered with a bunch of little things- including bobby pins.

She picked one up and walked back to the bathroom door. She opened the pin and stuck one side into the small hole on the doorknob. She pushed and wiggled it until a loud pop sounded.

Cautiously, she pulled the bobby pin out and slowly opened the door.

The next thing Elle saw would be an image that was burned into her mind for the rest of her life. She was in shock. Her eyes landed on her brother laying in the tub.

He seemed to be unconcious. Elle started walking towards him to wake him up, but as she walked past the counter, she noticed a bottle. She quickly picked it up, reading the label.

Oxytocin.

She looked into the bottle to find it nearly empty. No. This cannot be happening. She ran over to Jack, dropping the bottle. She pressed her fingers to his neck, where she could barely feel his pulse.

"No, no, no." Tears started pooling in her eyes, "Somebody help me, please!" She gripped his shirt as the tears started streaming down her face. "Somebody- Jack!" Her yelling caught everyone's attention.

The sound of doors opening and running footsteps could be heard all over the house.

"What's going on?" Rick asked, panic strong in his tone. Elle moved aside, letting Rick see the boy. "Oh my god."

"Rick?"

"Dad?"

"Please help him." She cried as Rick bent over to pick Jack up in his arms. He quickly rushed out of the bathroom, Carl and Michonne quickly moving out of the way, Michonne making the quick decision to go with Rick.

"Stay here." She instructed Carl, who reluctantly complied.

Elle pressed her back against the wall and slid down until she was in a seated position with her knees to her chest and she hands on her hair. She kept crying as she heard movement from the hall.

Heavy foot steps entered the room, she looked to see it was Daryl. He picked up the bottle off of the ground and read it. He set it back on the counter, the rattling of the few pills left making a loud noise.

He went and sat next to her against the wall. He wrapped an arm around her and he was determined to wait until she felt that she was ready to get up.

Her cries would be a sound imbedded into their minds. The only other time she was even remotely like this, was when she found out Cody died.

Carl and Ryder all sat in the hallway while Daryl sat next to Elle. They didn't know how to help her, so they were just.. there. It was the only form of support they were able to provide.

It had been a couple of hours- Ryder and Carl went to bed about an hour after the incident. Daryl and Elle still sat on the bathroom floor, but Elle had cried herself to sleep just half an hour ago.

Her knees to her chest, her arms crossed and her head lying in her arms. Her face was red and stained with tears.

Daryl was awake, wide awake. He and Elle weren't the closest, but they would do anything for each other, and that was no secret to anyone.

Daryl had been staring at the bottle on the counter, just letting time pass. A small shuffle from beside him caught his attention, he turned to see Elle- now awake- trying to get up.

She grasped the wall, or tried to, and forced herself onto her feet. Daryl was quick to stand up and offer her his hand. She didn't wave it off, but flat out ignored it and used the towel rack to help her stand up straight.

Once she was standing, she gripped the counter until her knuckles turned white. A strong exhale escaped her lungs as she turned and walked out of the bathroom. Her feet dragged and her pace was slow.

She used the wall to steady herself as she tried to get to her room. She wiped at dried tears as she walked in, seeing her bed still made from the previous day.

Elle didn't want to speak to, or even look at anybody. She shut the door behind her and walked over to the tall dresser. Opening the drawers, she grabbed the first things that were there.

A pair of black jeans, a dark blue teeshirt, and a dark flannel that lacked color, only being black and grey. She threw the clothes on and pulled the hair tie out I'd her hair, letting it fall.

She pulled on her shoes and began walking downstairs.

She could smell breakfast, and it smelled good. But she made the rash decision to skip the meal and instead she grabbed her coat, slipping it on. She could feel the stares, and the silence that lingered in the room was almost loud.

She couldn't tell who, but someone had cleared their throat. "I'll be back." That was all she said before opening the door and slamming it behind her.

She didn't know whether she was upset, or angry at last night's events. She felt upset, for obvious reasons, but she also felt that if she knew what had been going on, she maybe could've done something to prevent it all from happening. She was mad for the same reason; if Jack would just be honest with her, maybe she could've helped.

She felt the tears forming once again because of the guilt. As she walked closer and closer to the infirmary, she wondered if this was a good idea. She shortened her stride, slowing down and she contemplated what she was doing.

Should she face Jack when she's feeling this way? What if Jack wasn't there to face? What if he was gone?

The tears started to fall at the thought of her brother being dead, and leaving her alone. This also caused her to speed up again.

The neighborhood wasn't too big, so it wasn't very long before she had finally reached the infirmary.

Cautiously, Elle walked up the wooden steps, and made it to the door. She took a few deep breaths before slowly raising her hand up and taking a hold of the door knob.

She stood there, with her hand on the doorknob, struggling to turn it even just slightly. She let out a breath and dropped her hand. She decided to wasn't a good idea to go inside, she couldn't do it.

As she turned around to make her way back to the house, somebody opened the door behind her. "You can come inside, if you'd like." Denise's voice lacked confidence whenever she spoke, as if she were reading a teleprompter whenever she had a conversation with someone.

Elle didn't respond verbally, she simply turned around and stepped inside instead. Tara sat up on her bed, Rosita, Abraham, and Eugene sitting around her. "You're awake." She observed.

"I am." Tara gave her a small smile.

"When did that happen?"

"Two nights ago? I don't know." She shrugged.

"Well it's good to see you're doing alright." Elle pulled her hand out of her pocket to tuck her hair behind her ears.

"He's in that room, if you want to see him." Rosita told her,

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