TW: Gender dysphoria

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the days were getting colder and darker; leaves were falling from the trees and there was a chill in the air overnight. Ochre-colored leaves were scattered throughout Hidari Wakibara, the dry, dead leaves left a satisfying crunch beneath one's feet. The autumn day was visible outside your window, but that gentle chill was far from what you felt at the moment. 

You felt cold, freezing even. To you the world around you was numb and impassive, the soft fleece blankets surrounded your shaking figure like soothing voices whispering nothing's into your ear, but currently you were deaf to the world. everything was for nothing and the violent shivers racked through your body.

The ringing of the phone startled you awake from the trance-like state you were in. Your phone rang next to you loudly on speaker, you could feel the vibrations of the phone. you wiped the tears off your cheeks and picked it up, the bright light of your phone was sensitive to your eyes as they were used to the darkness of your room.

"Hello?" The familiar monotone voice sounded tired but attentive. You stifled a hiccup.

"Hey Saiki, can I come over real quick? I need someone right now."

"Yeah, sure. I'll stay by the door."

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it. See you soon." The phone went off with a click. You untangled yourself out from underneath the pile of blankets and shoved your phone into the pocket of the oversized hoodie you were wearing, you got up from the bed you were laying in and walked out of your darkroom to the door leading to the outside. you slipped in your white converse shoes and walked out of your house.

The walk to Saiki's house was short. You both had been friends since you had started PK academy you guys were constantly at each other's houses to hang out. You knew the way there by heart now.

Knocking gently on the door, you were almost immediately met with the face of your best friend. Saiki froze at the sight of your tear-stained face before quickly pulling you inside and to his room, shutting the door quietly, he turned to you. "I know that look and that's your dysphoria hoodie. You doing okay?"

Your head was looking down at the floor in shame, you responded with nothing but a shake of your head, you attempted to force back the tears that were seconds away from falling down your cheeks. 

Saiki just nodded soundlessly and held out his arms, his warm figure surrounded your cold one as he enveloped you in a bone-crushing hug, the tears you were so desperately trying to hold back began to slip from your eyes, and a few seconds later you were sobbing into his chest. "You wanna talk about it at all?" He asked as he rubbed your back In a comforting circle motion.

You hesitated before firmly nodding. "The guy I just broke up with turned out to be lying to me." saiki led you to sit down on his bed, narrowing his eyes.

"should i kill him with my powers?" He asked you his eyes flaring with bloodlust "N-no don't.. just listen" you slowly muttered.

"He... he told me that he was aromantic," Your voice broke. "But it turns out he just didn't want to tell me that he was gay and still saw me as a girl." You cried harder. "I don't think I've ever felt worse about myself."

Saiki gripped your shoulders, turning you to face him. "(Y/N), you look at me right now. If he can't see you for the man you are today, he doesn't fucking deserve you." You tried looking away, but he gripped your cheeks gently. "I know you don't believe me, so I'll keep telling you until you do. You are one of the most handsome guys I've ever met. He's a bloody idiot for breaking up with you just because you're trans."

Your cheeks went red at the compliment and you hoped Saiki didn't notice. He didn't seem to as he continued. "You're so damn manly and I look up to you for it. Not many people are manly while still being nice and friendly, but you're both." Words were tumbling out of his mouth at this point. He barely seemed to think about what he was saying. he just kept on reassuring you.

"You're so strong, I know I wouldn't be able to handle bleeding once a month and I'm in awe of how tough you are. You were made so perfect as a man that God had to put you in a girl's body because you would be too much to handle." The maroon-haired boy's eyes gazed at you're own (e/c) eyes, from the look he was giving it seemed like he wasn't lying.

But you still stared at him with shock, there was still a part of you saying that he was lying and another part of you just begging to believe him. "But-" You stuttered.

"No, You are a man Y/n L/n, and if you can't understand that then I'll stay up all night explaining it to you." 

Your eyes began to water once more, "I'm.. It's- it's like torture" your voice was strained, hardly above a whisper. "I think I'm losing it- I don't know what's happening, what happened. but I look at you, and I forget my struggles"

you buried your face into his shoulders as Saiki just held you. all you could think at that moment was how much you needed Saiki, you needed his arms around, you needed him to hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ears, the only difference this time was you could hear everything he was saying.

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❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤

Trans

💙💖🤍💖💙

Lesbian

❤️ 🧡 🤍 💗 💜

gender-fluid

💖🤍💜🖤💙

Non-binary

💜 🖤 🤍 💛

Pansexual

💖💛💙

- I really don't care                                                                                                                  I just love you guys