I went storming through the crowd of raving students like a demon was on my heels. Fortunately, said demon in particular was not. Though I could feel his eyes on my retreating form.

I had goosebumps, and not from the cold room or this stupid flimsy dress Faye made me borrow. But his hands.

I could still feel his stupid hands.

I didn't want to accept that he'd made my body jittery and full of warmth. No, that's over. And if it isn't yet, it will be. I won't allow myself to fall for a jerk like him.

My mind went back to earlier this week before I found out he'd been suspended. I'd only stopped briefly to watch the fiasco before shaking my head and walking away from the mass of onlooking students. I guess even his friends weren't off-limits when it came to causing havoc.

And to think I'd started worrying about him again after I made it home that night.

Nope. Not again.

He was trouble. So much absolute trouble. Always arguing. Always bleeding or making someone else bleed. Always pushing the boundaries of those around him. That should worry me. That's supposed to worry me.

I have to accept that Dean isn't a good person.

I've spent ridiculous amounts of time nursing my anger toward him and depriving myself of this stupid crush. Yet, the second I make contact with him again, all that work is for naught. Trampled by a stuttering heart, nauseating butterflies, and the ghosts of those large hands still whispering across my skin.

I had to catch myself from falling after nearly tripping over a pile of extension cords that were laying across the dusty concrete floor. I marched across the huge space to Faye, who was resting happily on a huge pile of slabbed concrete with a drink in hand. When she saw my approach she jumped down in alarm.

"Patience? What's wrong?" Faye was suddenly at my side.

"I'm starting to regret coming tonight....", I mumbled. It was a miracle she heard me despite the loud music and screaming teenagers. But, my friend was an excellent lip reader.

"What?! We haven't even been here long, what happened?"

I resisted the urge to scan my eyes through the crowd for the one face I currently wanted to slap for making me feel the way I always did around him.

"Dean," was my only response to her.

Faye's eyes widened a little before her face contorted into a scowl, dramatically rolling her eyes for added measure. "Figures. Of course, a guy like him would show up to an illegal party."

The angry, fire-breathing side of me hatefully agreed. But deep down that little love-struck school girl currently locked away bristled and wanted to get defensive.

Perhaps, we're acting a bit petty at the moment.

I hadn't told Faye much about Dean. Certainly nothing about our arrangement or the true nature's of our.....relationship. Ew. All she knows about is a "date" that went horribly wrong, and us arguing ever since. I couldn't even tell her about the kiss, because how would I even being to explain that situation?

"Come on, ignore him. Let's go dance, Bad Girl." She dragged me onto the makeshift dancefloor, drink still in hand. To be honest, I wasn't comfortable with the level of drinking there was at this party. So many people were drunk, doing so many things only people on booze would do. My mind goes to Dean and that whole thing with the water bottle. He wasn't drinking?

Stop! Stop thinking about him, Patience!

I ignored my invasive thoughts and just tried to flow with the music. I can't forget why I'm here, to enjoy myself. I'd been so on edge since that night in Dean's apartment. So many things I didn't want to think about. And then there was Jack, he'd been extra moody this week and I'd found myself on eggshells, again.

Top it off with what happened today though, I'd had enough.

I was tired of being stressed out and hurt by men. I was tired of sitting around like a good girl and waiting for another type of slap in the face. Tonight, I didn't want to be Patience Phillips.

Bad girl. Faye's been calling me that nickname for most of the night, and for good reason. I snuck out. I, Patience Phillips actually waited until Jack was inevitably drunk and asleep, and hopped out my bedroom window.

It was risky. So risky. Quite frankly, if he woke up that would be the end for me.

But I had to do this.

I couldn't sit still and cry in my room when the silent anger inside of me was making me crazy. That and my life is an utter mess. I might as well revel in it.

Jack nearly burned me with his cigarette today. It's been something it's something I've been afraid of happening for a long time, and today was the closest he's ever gotten to actually forcing a lit bud down on my skin. I'd been in a foul mood from the moment I woke up this morning, and when I smartly mumbled under my breath after watching Jack open my mail on the kitchen counter, he gripped me by the forearm and snarled obscenities about my disrespect, pushing the burning tip of his cancer stick into my exposed skin for just a second before thinking better of it, grunting and tossing me aside.

Those thoughts, came up again after that. Emerging and refusing to leave since.

It was like yet another brick to decay from a crumbling wall. A wall meant to keep horrible and ominous things from escaping. Yet with every crack, things dear sweet Patience would prefer to keep tucked away started whispering to come out.

Tonight, I was giving in.....but only an inch.

The strong bass pounding through the speakers reverberated through my body. From my head, down the spine, and right into my hips, I returned Faye's wide smile as the raging music energized me. Her eyebrows shot up as she watched me loosen up, hips swaying in tune with the beat.

"Thatta girl!" She threw up her drink, smiling as she mirrored my movements, and openly sang along to the lyrics of Mi Gente.

Well, more like shouting. Definitely shouting.

Before I knew it, thirty minutes had passed, and for the first time ever I was still dancing despite the light sheen of sweat emerging. It was freeing to just dance and enjoy myself. Every so often a guy would try to slide behind one of us and softly pull our hips against theirs. Faye didn't mind, making friends and conversing all along the way. It definitely freaked me out though, causing me to jump every time it happened. The first guy was especially grabby.

A part of it felt wrong. It wasn't something I was comfortable with, being touched or touching others in such a way.....especially a total stranger. But I saw the happy faces of my peers surrounding me --their boisterous laughter, drinks in the air, all having the time of their lives at probably just one of the countless parties they've gotten to enjoy in their youth-- and I just shut my eyes and willed myself to it let go.

I wanted to be normal for once.

"You're a little stiff, you know", my 2nd dance partner of the night chuckled into my ear, loud enough to be heard over the music. "There's no reason to be shy." He offered a boyish smile, but I didn't miss the flirtatious glint in his eyes. From the airy lilt to his tone, I could tell he was only trying to be playful, but I couldn't help the twinge of disheartenment that resonated within my chest.

I didn't say anything when you stepped on my feet earlier, bucko.

I kept my verbal quip to myself, knowing this boy doesn't deserve my simmering hostility. He's only trying to be nice, after all.

"Sorry, I don't do this much. Scratch that, at all." I offered an apologetic grin.

He laughed and I turned around to face him, still bobbing to the beat with his hands gently rested on my waist. While this is better than before, a part of me still wanted his hands off, but the defiant spirit pushed on. We're just dancing and having fun.

"I take it tonight's a good girl gone wild night, then?"

"Something like that."

"Well, stiff or not you looked great. I was actually kinda watching you earlier....hope that doesn't sound weird. Anyone ever told you you've got an awesome smile?"

I don't hold back the broad grin that arose after his compliment. I was just about to ask for his name when our conversation was oh so rudely interrupted.

"Patience, we need to talk."

Well, it was nice smiling while it lasted, I thought to myself as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

We both turned to the large stern-browed boy whose eyes were zeroed in solely on me, not even acknowledging my dance partner. I grit my teeth, trying not to look like an evil harpy in front of the first person other than Faye I've had a remote amount of fun with at a high school party.

"Good to know."

"Patience, I'm serious."

"Hey buddy, not sure who you are.....but uh, Patience and I, were kinda--," my partner started up with a sheepish smile while motioning between himself and I. His sentence quickly trailed off as Dean's glare slowly moved from my eyes and locked to his, unspoken menace suddenly flaring in his gaze.

"Patience." He didn't break eye contact with the guy, but the sharpened edge to his voice was a clear warning for me not to test him at this moment.

As if I'm meant to be some obedient little doll for him.

"Can't you see we're dancing! Who are you to just demand I drop everything and force a conversation with you!" I know I was being dramatic, but my off button hasn't been so effective lately, and I was plum tired of being ordered around.

"I'm not in the mood for this right now, princess."

"And? You think I am?!"

"I swear to god, I'm this friggin close-"

"To what? I dare you to finish that sentence."

"Keep testing me, princess-"

"STOP CALLING ME PRINCESS!"

"Uh, are you guys dating?"

"NO! " Both Dean and I snarled at the same time, our heads snapping in his direction, and making my partner quickly throw his hands up in innocent wide-eyed terror.

All three of us were silent for a moment.

"Um, Patience right?" The nervous boy began hesitantly, despite how loud he had to speak to be heard. "I'm gonna go hang with the folks at the beer pong table. You can come chill with us if you want when you're......done." He cast a quick glance at Dean's brooding form and with that and another sheepish smile, he slinked off.

Dean and I's glares landed on each other again.

"What the hell is your problem?!" We both snapped with equal ferocity.

Dean just rolled his eyes in probably the most dramatic fashion I've ever seen from him, and grabbed me by the elbow. I wanted to smack my own self in the face to cover up the burning embarrassment from this ridiculous situation. I was still seething as he proceeded to drag me across the party space despite my vehement protests. I didn't miss the fact that Faye had completely disappeared a while ago, and will likely panic if she comes looking and can't find me.

"Where are you taking me?!"

We didn't stop moving until finally, we were a fair bit away from where the main party was taking place. The dark tunnel shafts of these underground industrial ruins were like a maze to me, though fortunately we still had plenty of light due to the extensive setup of whoever it is that throws these kinds of parties. But as we got to a point where the raging music was little more than muted bass permeating the air, it was then that my alarm bells started ringing.

Dean noticed.

"Relax," he signed, coming to a hard stop. "I've been far deeper into these tunnels than likely anyone at this party. I'm probably one of the few that has this place mostly memorized."

"Mostly? I take it you've never watched As Above, So Below."

"These are abandoned substations, Snips, not the Paris catacombs. And certainly not the entrance to hell."

I look around at our isolated concrete surroundings. There could be all kinds of serial killers and malevolent beings down here. I was legitimately terrified when we first arrived at this party. It's exactly the kind of place where bad accidents happen to reckless teens, and when people see it on the news they can only shake their heads in disapproval at the idiocy of our decisions.

"Could've fooled me. Now let me go."

"Easy Patience, 5 minutes and you can go running back to your boyfriend." The sarcasm there was unmissable, but I also detected a sharper thread laced within his tone.

I managed to slip out of his grip the moment it slackened and promptly turned around to leave before I did something I really regretted. Of course, I didn't get far before a large hand wrapped around my wrist in a gentle grip, tugging me firmly backward between himself and the concrete wall. A bizarre mixture of fear at the present situation, and romantic jitters at the close proximity to this Satan spawn filled me. I really do need my head checked.

"No. We are going to sit here, and have a civilized conversation like adults, clear?" The dominant timbre to his statement shocked me into submission for a moment.

But only a moment.

"Says Mr. Sarcastic with the shady remarks," I quipped under my breath while staring at the floor like a scolded child. I was going to say jealous remarks, but then I realized that would have been ridiculous. Dean despised me.

And yet I'm the idiot who can't get rid of a crush.

I ejected myself from between the suffocating boy in front of me and the wall, feeling far too caged and cornered at the moment. I tried to hide it, but nothing passed by the eyes of Mr. Observant. His brows furrowed as the frigid ice in his gaze diminished, and a realization dawned on him before he retreated to give me my necessary space.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Patience." He sighed, roughly running a hand through his hair. Something I couldn't name flashed in his gaze for a split second. "I just need some answers."

I only shrugged, unsure and honestly a bit nervous about how this conversation was going to go. I had a feeling what he was after.

His back rested against the cool concrete opposite me, as I hovered nervously in the middle of the hall. His gaze was lost in a blank stare at the ceiling, before I slowly fell back on me.

"Just be straight with me. What happened the night you came to my apartment?"

Poker face, Patience.

"You don't remember anything?" I asked cautiously.

By the incredulous scowl on his face, I see he considered that a dumb question.

"I wouldn't be asking if I did, now would I?"

"Well, you were quiet, for one thing. Not at all the cocky, condescending tool that stands gloriously before me today." I shot him a gleaming yet sarcastic smile. Which he returned with an equally false grin.

"Cute."

I debated whether to give him the spark notes version or just let him know everything. How's about being genuine for once.

"Your friend, Trey? He called me over to help you. He said he couldn't stay and wanted to make sure you were cared for," I shrugged. A part of me felt envy of the fact Dean had a friend that knew his demons and was always there to pick up the bloody pieces off the floor. It clearly hadn't been his first rodeo, and the care in Trey's eyes was unmistakable. There was definitely a brotherly bond between the two.

"You were drunk, and I guess you'd just came from a fight?"I looked up for confirmation but only received a stone face as he listened intently. "There were some minor burns." I definitely had questions about that at the time, and truthfully I still do. Is there anything they don't allow in those fights? "Trey says you never get drunk like that, so it must have been a really bad day."

"I patched you up. Wrapped your hands, bandaged your chest, your face. I also hid your bottle of Hennesey which you weren't the happiest about." I hesitated with my next words, unsure what his reaction would be to me being witness to such a vulnerable moment. "You seemed low. Something was bothering you, but you never said, and I didn't really push."

That got a reaction.

His eyes cut to mine, and I could tell at that moment I was in dangerous territory. Dean wasn't welcoming to being vulnerable in front of others.

"Nothing happened. You were mostly quiet, besides your usual methods of harassing people. That's pretty much it." I lean back against the wall, mimicking his stance.

Ever feel trapped, Patience?

Didn't like what I saw.

What did you see?

Everything.

I kept my mouth shut tight about the more emotional bits of the night. Bits I knew I'd have a hard time forgetting, as they reminded me there's much more than meets the eye when it comes to this enigmatic boy.

All that leaves is the coup de gras...

The kiss.

Which reminds me, if that was how he kisses when he was incoherent and drunk, what in the world was it like when he was sober?

Shame! You're selling out, you poser!

"So that's it? No other surprises?"

I shook my head.

"Absolutely nothing else?"

Now, I'm getting nervous.

"No."

Dean stared at me intently for a good minute, as if to decipher fact from fiction. Just as I was ready to put an end to this conversation and high-tail-it back to civilization, he stood from the wall, and in two fleeting steps had crossed the hall and closed me in between his arms against the wall. Again.

Our height differences were incredibly obvious when he stood close to me like this. I jumped, looking up with wide eyes in a loss for words at the abrupt reaction.

"What-"

"You just lied straight to my face."

I blinked. "N-no, I didn't!"

His head tilted to the side, features turning into amused disbelief.

"And she does it again."

For the second time tonight a paradoxical mixture of terror and thrill surged through my veins. I was hyper-aware of his every move. And the frenzied butterflies in my stomach gave me no relief.

"I was told that I got a hearty slap in the face and you ran out of the apartment. Considering you still seem to be especially miffed today, I'd say there's more to the story you're not telling me."

I felt increasingly small as he seemed to see right through my facade.

"Did I do try something innapropriate, or something?" For a moment a look of worry fash in his eyes, but it was gone as quick as it appeared.

For a tiny, minutiae, of a second I wanted to say 'Yes'. It would be the perfect explanation for the kiss. Saying that he drunkenly force a kiss on me. We'd move past it, and act like it never happened. Like it was just the lapse in judgment of a drunken night.

But that was cruel.

And I won't be that kind of girl.

I wouldn't let someone believe they had forced themself on me, just to spare myself from admitting the truth that it was a kiss I had