Dedicated to all my readers. Every single one of you'll. Congratulations.

33. he scribbled

̶R̶a̶c̶h̶e̶l̶ ̶

̶D̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶R̶a̶e̶  Rachel,

̶U̶m̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶.̶ ̶W̶h̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶e̶a̶s̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶y̶o̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶.̶ ̶

Why am I just scribbling!

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to take another fresh paper because this is genuinely like my fifth one now and I am sorry that you would have to read this terrible mess of a letter in a fast technology world. Also, I'm sorry because... I'm probably not someone you want to invest time on considering you're a busy person.

I, oh... I hope you didn't perceive it as sarcastic.  ̶I̶ ̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶p̶e̶a̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶p̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶a̶r̶c̶a̶s̶m̶.̶ It wasn't. I genuinely don't want you to waste your time. And here, I still am. You know what... I'm just going to stick to the point.

Firstly, this letter isn't about my expression of genuine interest towards you. You've already given me an answer and I, in no way, want to belittle your decision and try to change it. I completely and utterly support it. I do like you, a little more than slightly infatuated with you and I will in time deal with it. Don't let it bother you. You didn't break my heart.

It's just me.

Second, the main reason to actually do something as weird as writing this letter to you is because I have to clarify things which you pointed out to me earlier this morning.

You'd probably wonder why I'd need to write a letter.

Yea. I don't think I can answer that. But I will want to specify two things which have been a bit more for me to comprehend. There are two things you have accused me of and both of them need my perspective to help you get a proper understanding of the entire matter.

The first one was about me being rude and obnoxious about myself and degrading streamers in general. That's not true. Not at all. I believe and firmly believe in dignity of labour. And not just that, I have a high regard to streamers because my twin is one.

But you heard me mocking, not once but many times, not just T, but everyone, even you.

I'm not going to deny that. I did taunt T. But that wasn't for any of you. Not you atleast. I was just stupid person and out of a silly jealous sprite did that to my twin, I have no idea what took over me but seeing my twin with people who weren't me, happy without me, living without me just made me a stupid obnoxious person. Yes, I did that but only to seek some attention from T. I, in no way, intended to mock you, your friends or your work in general.

Streaming is tough. Way tougher than normal jobs. I know because I've seen T been through that hard phase.

The point where I am standoffish when it comes to socializing, that's just how I am. If you do recollect, I couldn't stay longer with Alex and Imane too because social gatherings just aren't my genre. And it just plainly not me. I know you won't get me, the incredible way in which you handle everyone just keeps me dazzled. I can never do that.

The second and most important point, about T, or Sykkuno as everyone knows him. I do not know what you know or who told you what, but it's just a half truth.

Thomas and me are twins. We've been inseparable since birth. He's my soft side, I'm his wild side. We had a dream, the both of us. We wanted to start a record label company. Thomas played the bass well already and I wanted to manage him. It did sound silly but as we grew the plan only moved more solid than ever. T's guitar skills were phenomenal and I sang well (something not a lot of people know and I'm bit embarrassed about it too) and I wanted to be his partner, both in our dream and life.

He is my best bud.

Was. Until high school. High school changed us. Both of us. Constantly bullied, sidelined and cheeky remarks on our ethnicity drove both of us to be more apart and away. While T used gaming as his way of zoning out, I moulded myself into studying. T started getting out of my way, always quiet, always silent and on his computer screen for hours on end and I let him be that way. Hoping that he'd be okay. And we'd all be just the same as school ends.

Then after high school, he dropped the idea of being or working together. He said he wanted to pursue gaming fully without finishing his college and that made me angry. I was furious. Not because he isolated me and our one thing we dreamed about, but he was willing to not study and risk everything for streaming.

As backward as it was, I couldn't see it. Thomas had to atleast finish his college. He had to. Doesn't matter if he eventually quits and streams, because atleast he'd have something to lie back on. And hence, I protested with my family for making sure he didn't pursue streaming.

We had a fall-out.

Obviously. And I regret it till date.

He did finish his degree though, while still continuing gaming and I managed to convince the family to support him anyway. We're a set of traditional family and streaming wasn't a much looked upon profession and hence no one supported Thomas. At first, I liked it, because T had ditched me, our plans and everything we wanted to do for something as risky as streaming. But then, T's sad worn out face wasn't easy to see.

I won't go into much details, just somehow convinced my parents to support him and bought his new gaming set through them. He doesn't know that and I am hoping you won't let him know. I've also been following him all these years, occasionally subbing him so he pays his water bills. Lately I was preoccupied with work and couldn't catch on, I wish I did because I'd seen you and his lovely friends too.

Anyway after college, I did go off away from my family because except for my twin, I didn't really have anyone. Our father wasn't really interested in us and our mother was always busy. Thomas was all I had.

I realized he wasn't there and I didn't want any one other than him.

That's all. That's all I have to say.

I actually came to Las Vegas to help him settle down. Good thing I did, because I met you. And everyone else Thomas absolutely adores.

I'm sorry Rachel, you didn't have to have me add onto your miseries and also whatever was the reason you were crying that day is not worth it. Not worth your tears at all.

I'm proud of my twin for coming so far and very happy too, because he has so many supportive genuine people around him.

Especially you.

I hope he keeps them.

I hope you do too.

̶Y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶,

James

"Mother-Fu..."

_