^bae

Y'all be so quiet in serious chapters 💀 bitch talk

"Sex probably ain't even allat." Laylani said as Ciara talked to her about Andrew.

"It depends on who you choose to do it with. Some niggas don't know what they be doing. I have 2 bodies, my first one was pft trash as fuck." Ciara said, throwing her thumb down.

"What does it feel like?"

"Youn need to be worried about that." Tay mugged Ciara for even bringing the conversation up.

"Everybody has sex. Laylani gon get her a lil bo-"

"No she not." Tay shook his head in disapproval.

"What you mean nigga the day will come when lil old l-"

"No she not."

"Does it feel good?"

"It don't matter cause you ain't ever havin sex. So don't be worrying about that." Tay said as he patted her head.

"Yes. It's-" Ciara began to speak when Tay cut her off.

"Hell. It's like you're in hell, and while it's happening the devil is shaking all the good out of you. When you lose your virginity there's a 80% chance of you dying afterwards. Don't have sex." Tay said, making Ciara smack the back of his head.

"Boy don't be lying."

"I'm not. I saw it with my own two eyes. And you'll get AIDS and shit. You know how everything feel neat and tight down there? Yo shit gon busted open. I'm talking.. you see my hand? A hole this big in you." Tay continued lying despite Ciara telling him to shut up.

"Laylani don't listen to him."

"Orgasms hurt I kid you not."

"Do not believe his dumbass."

"Oh you should. Have I ever lied to you?"

"Yes.. all the time."

"You want proof? Ask Moriah. Her shit wide open." Tay said, making Moriah twist her face up.

"Boy shut the fuck. No it ain't. My walls was fine until I fucked you."

"I believe that. Anyways, don't have sex. Because at the end of the day, you might get herpes, die, or worse than both of them.. pregnant." He explained, seeing a flat unimpressed look on her face.

"I'll figure that out for myself." She joked, seeing him catch an attitude immediately.

"How you gon do that? Google?"

"I'm a hands on learner."

"I will beat yo stupid ass up stop fuckin playin." Tay gave her mean look and she laughed, deciding to stop.

"Okay dang."

He wouldn't let her be great.

"Should I wear this?" Vivy asked, shoving a picture of a dress in Tays face. She just wanted a male opinion before she got it.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"Then wear it." He answered, making a face at her. He thought that would've been the obvious answer.

"But I wanna be cute."

"Then get a new face and personality."

"Bye this why I don't ask you stuff." She rolled her eyes at him and Laylani and Ciara laughed.

"Good. Don't wanna talk to yo ass anyhow." He mumbled, distracted by something on his screen.

Tay looked down at his phone and hopped up quickly, feeling Laylani pull him back down.

"Where you goin?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I gotta go do something. I'll drop by later tonight but if you ain't up i'm not gon bother you." He tilted her head up while he talked to her and she listened intently, liking the way his voice sounded. She barely heard him even though she was listening.

"Okay." She said quietly.

When Tay left Vivy rolled her eyes at how fast her mood dropped.

"You get so quiet when he leave."

Laylani just shrugged, wishing she could go where he went. She liked being up under him and he liked her being up under him so it was always a win win situation.

"You don't even be hanging out with us if he ain't around."

Which was true, but who cares. Her and Vivy weren't that close to be hanging out anyways. She didn't have a problem with the girl she just didn't understand where Vivy would get that idea, especially with all the times she's tried to publicly humiliate Laylani.

"If she wanna hang out with her boyf- I'm sorry friend more than us let her do that. She's happy so let her do her." Ciara shrugged, not seeing the problem.

"But-"

"She wasn't that talkative anyways. He's not either. I don't know what you expected after all this time."

...

It was 1AM and she was up, kind of uncomfortable because Tay has been gone all day and his phone was going to voicemail. He was just busy. That's what she was going with.

But he was careless. What if something happened to him? Then she talked herself back down from that thought.

When people didn't answer the phone she assumed they were dead on the side of the road.

Then she thought about it and considered him being with some girl.

That's none of your business bitch.

She was having a whole argument with herself about a boy that was probably out doing boy shit, not thinking about her at all, and having fun.

Laylani rolled over and her room door opened not even a minute later.

"Tay?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh. How'd you get in?" She asked, standing up to turn her light on.

"Not with a key." He laughed and backed away from her, not wanting whatever he had on him to get on her.

"What's wrong?"

The light flipped on and Tay saw her face fall.

"Boy what the fuck?" She dragged him to her bathroom and sat him on the toilet, seeing a scratch right below his eye and his arm wrapped up.

"It's nothing I- ow what are-"

"Let me see it." She demanded, unwrapping the bandage on his forearm.

"It's just a graze and this is a scratch. I'm good so-"

"Be quiet." She uttered, getting peroxide and bandages from under her sink.

Tay was a little surprised. She never ordered him around or cussed at him seriously. She actually seemed mad.

"You mad at me?"

"Yes. I saw it on Snapchat but I didn't know you would be there." She said quietly, dabbing alcohol on the open cut on his jaw.

"Saw what?"

"Don't play stupid. All them boys in south side fighting and shooting. Stop gettin in trouble." Laylani pinched him and put the band aid on his cheek.

He didn't say anything. He just watched her clean his his scuffs.

"You even sliced your knuckles. What were you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Tay why'd you come here if she weren't gonna tell me anything? Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I just don't think it's your problem."

"It's my problem because you came here like this. Shouldn't have came if you didn't want any questions."

"Worry about yourself. I'm good so leave it the fu-"

His head swung to the side, caught off guard by the small hand that just smacked the taste out of his mouth. It was a 'shut the fuck up' slap.
Cause that's what he needed to do.

"Don't come here looking like shit then acting like I'm in your business when I'm worried. You didn't even clean it right. You can get an infection. Let me be nice to you." Laylani said softly, cleaning his graze like she didn't just slap the fuck out of him.

Tay didn't say anything because he despite his efforts to push her away.. when she got like this he actually enjoyed it.

He wanted to feel wanted and Laylani knew that. His face was still and expressionless but his eyes held the truth. That glimmer she saw as she looked him in the eye was pretty, not having to crouch down as he sat on the toilet seat face to face with her.

"Shower. You smell like blood because it's on your shirt and your head is bleeding too."

"It's nothing. I jumped the fence and gashed my scalp cause I fell. It'll heal." He smiled hoping to wipe the worried expression off of her face.

"And your hair looks a damn mess." She laughed and pulled his shirt off, tossing it in a plastic bag.

"I know. You don't do it no more."

"You let it tangle up too much then want me to be done in an hour, by the way, this ain't nobody else's blood on this shirt is it?"

"A lil bit. I didn't kill anybody if it makes you feel any better." He laughed at her unamused expression until she sprayed 90% alcohol on his stomach, burning the little cuts he didn't know existed.

"6 of those boys died." She said seriously, turning her shower on.

"I know. It happens." He said tiredly, looking to the side.

Of course it bothered him, but they knew what they were doing. When you're with your friends and you go looking for problems don't be surprised when you get them.

"What's the point?"

"It's a respect thing. It's not as serious to you but this just how shit goes. We all die anyways." He kept the same flat tone, not wanting to look her in the face.

"What'd you even fight for? Stop doing this."

"I had left to bring Jaylen his jacket after he left it at my house. But when I got to where everybody was I ended up staying long than I planned, but later on a whole bunch of niggas showed up real rowdy for nothing."

She looked at him and told him to continue.

"It was a big ass neighborhood and I wasn't fuckin wit it so I left instead if staying, I knew they'd start shooting cause I definitely woulda got caught and went to jail because I already got a record, it's a juvenile record but I'm seventeen now."

Tay wasn't stupid.

But his brother Israel was a wild. Growing up Tay faught Israel all the time, being the crybaby out of the pair. He always pushed Tay to be something he wasn't but when Israel dipped out he had changed for good.

He thought his brother left because he couldn't stand being associated with him. He wasn't soft but he wasn't in the streets like his brother was.

Tay was a house boy that played the game and minded his business, but as time went by he got angrier and angrier, with himself and his brother.

When Israel's friends dropped by to check on him he ended up leaving with them, doing everything he used to know not to do.

At one point he considered the fact that Israel was probably dead and gave it all up. Everybody was dying except for him. I guess you could say he was pushing the limits, seeing how far he could push until his time was up.

He got up everyday wondering if he was gonna die and almost looked forward to it, feeling like nobody would notice or care anyways.

'I'd be sad if you died'

Somebody would care if he died though. Laylani.

He thought about that a lot. Of course Ciara and everybody who considered him a friend would claim to care too but it wasn't the same.

He had doubt in his heart because everybody lacked integrity but Laylani was true to self. Nothing about her seemed fake or phony.

"I looked up and Jaylen had shot at of em. Rico saw one jumping the fence and that boy was done too. Right after I jumped the fence and dipped out the police came. I thought it was over for a second." Tay looked up at her hoping she wasn't too mad at his reckless behavior.

"And?" She said, waiting for him to finish.

"Rico and Jaylen got a warrant but I'm good. I ain't fight them niggas and I ain't leave nun there. I got grazed but I'm cool onnat cause it's better than me gettin my blood on that ground. My face scratched up cause my momma slapped the fuck outta me and I fell when I was running through the cut by the marathon." He said honestly.

"The blood on yo shirt?"

"I took it off and put it on my arm cause I was bleeding and the blood that ain't mine is Riley's cause he was in front of me when he got shot in his stomach. Imma stop by and say sum to his family before his burial." Tay said tiredly, missing his friend already.

"You should. It could've been you. Which is why you should stop doing stupid shit."

"It was a regular day like I wasn't tryna do no wild shit. That's why I left I promise." Tay explained, hoping she would believe him.

"Mhm. This seems real regular to you, like you're not bothered. Why?"

"Riley had bodies, now he a body. You can't kill a nigga and not be ready to die yourself. He was my friend but that's the honest truth."

She just listened.

"People can say longlivewhoever and photoshop they family into them ghetto ass clouds but shit... hell ain't empty so..."

"You think you're going to hell?"

"I think when I die I'm dead and that's it. But the god my mom tells me about? Yeah. He not fuckin with me." He tried to make light of the situation but it was uncomfortable to talk about. But if there was anybody he could talk to it was Laylani.

She wasn't judgmental. She was understanding and sympathetic, trying to help him instead of trying to bash or berate him.

"Nick died when I was 12. We were getting off the bus and it happened quickly. That wasn't karma. People are just fucked up." Tay looked defeated, feeling her hand touch his face.

From the sounds of it he had untreated PTSD and became detached and distrustful after his friend died. She continued listening, hoping he would finish talking.

"For a long time I figured I had the same fate. Niggas always talk about jumping off the porch in they songs like it's exciting or fun and it's not. I didn't even jump I got pushed off that bitch." He joked, getting mushed for playing too much. Tay was serious but he didn't want it to be too intense as they talked.

"It's not too late now." She said hopefully, getting a nod in response.

"I see you being a good person to people you don't like all the time and admire you. It's not fake to be kind to people who need a little joy in their life, even if you don't wanna be the one to give it to them you do." He considered her generosity to be one of her talents.

Not everybody can remain positive around people who don't do anything but spread negativity. She didn't do it for props or anyone's approval, she just liked making people happy.

Everything she touched turned great.

"Vivy and Moriah are hurt. I don't know how but they are. Their attitudes make it hard for me to be nice but I still think they deserve sympathy. If I can compliment Vivy just once a day it feels good knowing I made her happy for that split second." She said honestly.

Vivy was insecure about her weight, being bigger than all of her friends.

Moriah wasn't raised in a loving environment and only knew one way to get a boys attention. Self respect wasn't something her mom taught her. She didn't even like having sex with some of the people she had sex with, not including Tay.

She often talked about how amazing he was and pissed Laylani off with it because it was gross to hear but it did explain why she was so hung up on him.

Laylani looked at him sadly. People were products of their environment. Tay had watched people disappear and die his whole life so he had a bad habit of sweeping it under the rug and refusing to mourn.

Riley was his friend since 4th grade but it was what it was. He'd send his condolences and move on like he did with the other 20 people he'd lost since February. He didn't wanna dwell because it'd only make him hate the world more than he already did.

"He's gonna find peace. Everybody does."

"You really think that?"

"Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un." Laylani said quietly, taking his hair down from the ponytail it was in.

A few moments of silence went by before Tay spoke up.

"They didn't break. I didn't break my brackets." He grinned, showing her his perfectly fine braces and the apple core in his pocket.

"Still..."

"Oh and... I'm not gonna get in no trouble for what happened. They might ask me some shit cause I was there but I ain't fight anybody nor did I shoot a gun. Since I didn't help nobody get away I'm not an accomplice either." He said proudly.

"Good. You gon talk?"

"Fuck no. I know what you're thinking oh my god people died but I ain't no snitch sorry. Riley used to tell me not to snitch if he died and so I'm definitely not saying shit. It sounds backwards but if that's what he wanted then that's what I'll do because he was my friend." Tay said genuinely.

He wasn't no rat ass nigga and Riley's disapproval made it official. He wouldn't talk.

"Shower and lay down. You need to wash this day off." She pushed his hair out of his face and patted his cheek before walking out of the bathroom.

He left stuff here all the time so it wasn't a problem to find something for him to wear instead of the fucked up shirt he had on earlier. She heard the shower run and walked in carefully, placing the clothes on the sink. He was here all the time so his toothbrush was on sink where he left it days prior.

Nasir noticed it and said Tay was annoying as if he didn't do the same thing with Naomi, having a toothbrush at home and at her house when they were friends.

Tay washed his hair and cleaned off real good, making sure to avoid soap on the gash by his arm. When he got out Laylani wasn't in the room so he laid down, feeling his body melt into her mattress.

"Tay.." she walked in and saw him asleep, trying not to laugh at his sleeping face. It wasn't ugly, it was just strange to see. He was always up and annoyed, so the relaxed calm expression was odd.

How ironic.

Laylani laid down and felt him shift around, pulling her close to him as he slept.

...

"This is Chelsea, I think you've met already but you guys didn't really speak. Tay I think you've met her too. She's my second cousin but we're good friends." Ciara explained as Chelsea waved.

"Hi." Laylani said quietly, going back to the game on her phone. She was turned in Tay's directions her legs nearly going over his lap.

"Hey Tay." Chelsea leaned forward to hug him and Laylanis leg flew up, blocking her from doing so.

Ciara raised both eyebrows and tucked her lips between her teeth, not surprised but caught off guard at her blatant disapproval.

It's Taylin." He corrected, not looking at her.

Tay looked at Laylani and laughed, seeing that she still hadn't looked up from her phone. She didn't like it when people touched him and he didn't either. Only she could hug him and that was on period,

Chelsea looked at Ciara in confusion before putting her hand out, realizing that the girl didn't want her hugging Tay.

He looked at her hand then looked away, showing disinterest in befriending her.

"Okay then. Real tight leash you got him on." She said lowly.

"He didn't shake your hand because he didn't want to. That wasn't her, he made that choice." Ciara explained, knowing her cousin could be a little slow. She hoped Chelsea would see they dynamic the two had going on and stop,

"How have you been?" She asked, as she sat in the cart, turning the face Tay.

Ciara drove the golf cart across the beach sighed knowing Chelsea was about to fuck up her chance at befriending Laylani, trying to get with a nigga who would never give her the time of day.

Ciara had noticed Laylani wasn't friendly with girls who'd make passes at him and her friend didn't even noticed just how mean she got.

He looked at Chelsea and shrugged, not wanting to give her conversation.

"That's your girl?" Chelsea asked, seeing Tay and Laylani texting each other although they sat next to one another.

"Maybe." He shrugged again, feeling Laylani pinch him.

"No.